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As we all should know, Rebellion came live to us last night from the Manchester Evening News Arena. Daniel Edler sent this report in to The Mayhem.
BOOKER T -VS- MATT HARDY
Lots of pre-match jargon, such as a test of strength. Booker on the offensive with a set of clotheslines. Both men to the outside. Using the fencing as a weapon. Back into the ring. Attempted crossbow pinfall. Double Hart Attack Clothesline by Book and Hardy. Hardy gets up first, and locks in a Reverse Chinlock. This lasts for like, 3/4 minutes. Booker powers out, and hits a crecent kick for the 2 count. Matt into the corner. Hardy goes for a Leg Drop off the top rope, but misses. Booker hits a missile dropkick. 2 count only. Booker looks to go for the Spinaroonie, but Matt gets up. Attempted Twist of Fate, reversed… BOOK END! Kickout after two! Both men get back up, but Hardy hits the Twist of Fate. Two count. Hardy is angry because he thought he’d gotten a 3 count. Booker back up, Twist of Fate reversed… kick to the mid section, Scissors kick. Hits the 1.2.3 for the win.
WINNER: BOOKER T
Backstage, Paul Heyman is walking around suspiciously. He finds the office of SmackDown! General Manager Stephanie McMahon, and asks her why he has to be in tonight’s handicap match against Edge. Heyman is on a rant about how Edge can pin him, and win the title. How it just isn’t fair. Stephanie asks Heyman if its fair that he broke Undertaker’s hand before Hell In A Cell. But big news… Heyman cant compete. He has no wrestling gear. Stephanie says, that doesn’t matter… he can wrestle in his $2500 suit!
DAWN MARIE & JOHN CENA -VS- BILLY KIDMAN & TORRIE WILSON
Kidman and Cena in first, with Cena all at the advantage. Stalling standing suplex by Cena, but he took too much time. Rollup by Kidman, 2 count. Dawn Marie tags herself in, and kicks Kidman, but Kidman gets up and takes control. Torrie tagged in, who begins to SPANK Dawn Marie! Torrie with the dropkick to the face, laying Dawn to the Matt. Cena in on Wilson, but Torrie with a low blow. Flying elbow from the top rope by Kidman, for a 2 count. Dawn Marie distracts Kidman, but she’s dragged into the ring! However, the distraction worked, and Cena hits a dropkick. 2 Count. Kidman hits the Acid Drop bulldog on Cena for the 2 count. Both women roll to the outside. Enziguri kick to the back of Cena’s head. He sold it really well, and its Shooting Star Press time. Oh dear, Kidman screws it up, and knees Cena in the face and shoulder. Looked pretty painful.
WINNERS: TORRIE WILSON & BILLY KIDMAN
After the match, they liplock in the ring. They’re dating in real life folks, so that’s no real surprise to me. At the announce table, Cole hints that he wants Tazz to do the same to him. Tazz declines. Edge backstage, saying that he’s going to make the best of his first ever shot at the WWE Title. Don’t get him wrong, he wants the Undertaker back as soon as possible… but one man’s loss, is his gain! Announced that it’s June 7th 2003 in Newcastle, England, for the next UK event. I wonder if that’s next UK Smackdown! event, or next event. Ticketing information to be announced at a later WWE programming date.
FUNAKI -VS- CRASH
Straight into the action, with both men arm dragging each other. Crash reached into his pants to get a head band, the ones you wear doing Karate. It has a UK flag on it, and Crash begins to mock Funaki and Japan. Funaki counters with a kick to face. Whip into the ropes by Funaki, but Crash slips to the outside. They run around the outside and slide in. Crash with a knee to the back of Funaki. Running Bomb, but Crash rolled through for the 2 count. The crowd is absolutely DEAD throughout this match. We only get wrestling like 2 times a year in the entire country. You’d think they’d be a little excited… and Funaki is a little over. Shame about Crash. Both men back up, Swinging DDT by Funaki off the ropes. Dropkick to the forehead, 2 count. Crash back into the offense with an Inverted Atomic drop… gotta leave a mark on your love pump. Both men doing the “roll about and get 2 counts” thing. 2 count, 2 count, 2 count, 2 count… THREE COUNT??? Wow, that’s not how its meant to happen, its meant to be 2 2 2 2, not 2 2 2 2 3! But yeah…
WINNER: FUNAKI
Backstage segment between Nidia and Jamie Knoble. Speaking in riddles about a match against Rey Mysterio, and it being God’s country. Yeah… like we understood that. Small Rey Mysterio segment. He breathes into the camera, then leaves… weird.
JAMIE NOBLE (c) -VS- TAJIRI - VS- REY MYSTERIO
ELIMINATION RULES FOR WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Jamie Noble and Tajiri going at it, but both fall to the outside. Rey Jr flies to the outside with a corkscrew Plancha. This is going so fast its impossible to catch, hehe. Kick to the face of Tajiri by Rey. Noble up and hits a T-Bone suplex into a pin. 2 count, before Tajiri rips away his leg to stop the count. Tarantula on Rey, but Noble stops it and knocks Rey to the outside. Rey distracts Tajiri and Noble hits the Tiger Bomb on Tajiri. 3 count. Tajiri’s eliminated. And now it’s just Noble and Rey. Rey into the corner. Jamie distracts the ref whilst Nidia torques Rey’s left arm on the steel ring post. Noble shouts "what’s my NAME???" to the crowd, and gets a "who are ya?" response. Noble working away hard on the left arm of Rey, locking in an Armbar. Rey’s shoulders are tight to the mat, 2 count. Mysterio works his way back to his feet, but gets dropkicked in the corner. Mysterio starts to battle back, but gets caught in the Electric Chair position… REVERSAL by Rey, Swinging DDT. Both men are down for the 8 count, when they get back up. Mysterio gets to the top rope… Mosh Pit for the two count. Noble back on the offensive… Vertical bomb! Nidia up on the apron distracting the referee after Rey hits a Sunset Flip. Drop toe hold into the bottom rope by Rey. Attempted 619, but Nidia trips Rey. Tiger Bomb by Noble… surely the three… BUT NO, kickout from the Tiger Bomb!! First time that’s’ happened on Smackdown! Noble with the pin, Nidia grabs Noble’s hands for leverage… 3 count. Very soppy ending to a good match. The crowd didn’t even notice.
WINNER: JAMIE NOBLE
After the match Tajiri comes back down and sends Nidia and Jamie into the rope. Rey hits the 619 to Nidia and Jamie! The 12-2-18 apparently. Since it was to two people. That’s the best we’re getting from Michael Cole tonight, so lets enjoy it whilst we can.
Angle and Benoit backstage, with Angle explaining why he’s the captain of the team. Oh lord, in the background, crowd are chanting… "WHAT". Angle says their alliance is like, USA and England. Benoit points out he’s Canadian… Angle explains, he’s American, he’s the best. Benoit’s just a part of the commonwealth, so he’s not quite as good. Benoit teases Angle that he beat Angle at Unforgiven and on Smackdown!. Thus explaining, why he’s the team captain. Benoit says Kurt is damn lucky that suspension is still in place, cause if it wasn’t, Kurt would get his a$s kicked in that ring. So long as Angle follows Benoit’s lead… they’ll be just fine.
BIG VALBOWSKI & CHUCK PALUMBO -VS- D-VON & RON SIMMONS (Farrooq)
Simmons and Palumbo start off, but Valbowski is tagged in soon after. Choke and Slam (not a Chokeslam, but kinda…) on D-Von. Simmons comes in and hits the hard Spinebuster whilst Chuck accidentally distracts the referee. Diving clothesline by D-Von. Simmons tagged in. Chuck tagged in, working like a house on fire. Shake Rattle and Roll (formerly by Road Dogg, now by everybody and their mother) on D-Von. Attempted discus punch on Simmons, but reversed. Underhook suplex by Chuck on Simmons. Standing side kick on D-Von. 2 count, interrupted by Simmons. Simmons to the outside, Chuck follows, but stops at the ropes. D-Von with the schoolboy, Chuck’s backside falls outs of his tights, and it’s a 3 count.
WINNERS: D-VON & ROM SIMMONS
Backstage, Eddie is saying how they’re in the nicest place ever… they have to tell granma about it… they’re soooo glad they’re in GERMANY!! Chavo reminds him, they’re not in Germany, they’re in… IRELAND! Eddie explains, it DOESN’T MATTER WHERE THEY ARE. Ireland, England, Germany, USA… it’s nowhere near as good as MEXICO! They start speaking through the camera to Michael Cole. They’re talking about something that Mexico won, and USA lost. They cant wait to return to Mexico though, as Granma is cooking up a great meal, since the food over here sucks. They need to get outta this country, cause we "talk funny".
ALBERT -VS- RIKISHI
KISS MY A$S MATCH
Originally scheduled to be Rikishi vs. Matt Hardy, that was all changed when Booker T took on Hardy earlier in the night. Albert on the mic. "I know what you’re thinking… THAT MAN, IS WICKED SEXY! And Ladies, incase you were wondering… and I know you were, everything here (rubs his chest hair)… is AL natural". Clothesline by Rikishi. Whip into the ropes, Rikishi bends over, and Albert nearly runs into it. Albert hits the breaks and rolls to the outside. Back in the ring, Albert in control. Punches to Rikishi’s head, and then removes the covering from the top turnbuckle. Reverse chinlock by Albert, who uses the ropes for leverage. Referee notices, and stops him. Pump kick by Albert… 2 count. Albert charges into Rikishi, but he moves and runs into the exposed turnbuckle. Standing side kick by Rikishi, Banzai drop… Rikishi wins, poor Albert. Now he’s gotta kiss Rikishi’s a$s.
WINNER: RIKISHI
After the match, Rikishi whacks the mic across his backside, and reminds Albert he now has to kiss, Rikishi’s a$s. The referee Jimmy Kordaris lets Albert know that if he doesn’t come down to the ring and Kiss Rikishi’s within 10 seconds, he’s SUSPENED indefinitely without PAY. So, in he gets on 9… ew… he goes to kiss his a$s, but hits a low blow, then a Baldo Bomb. Does a Rikishi impression, goes for a stink face, but HE gets low blowed. Stink face. Shame, thought he was gonna get suspended.
Rikishi dances… with the Smackdown! announcers, Tazz and Michael Cole. Tazz says he cant do it… Crowd Boo. He says he CAN do it… but only with ALL the announcers. Tony Chimel comes into the ring. Haha, this is great. Chimel, Cole and Tazz w/ Rikishi, dancing, with hats on. Crowd chanting for Funaki. Guess he’s not a true announcer. Pyro pops on the ring post, and we learn that Taz just cannot dance. Nifty segment, as it definitely got the crowd into the show.
LOS GUERRERO'S -VS- CHRIS BENOIT & KURT ANGLE
WWE SMACKDOWN! TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
After much debate, Benoit lets Angle start the match. Eddie starts off… and his first move is… TAG TO CHAVO!! Lots of confusing “tag, tag, punch, tag, tag, punch”’s, before. Symultaneous German Suplexes followed by Chavo being kicked out of the ring (literally…) by Kurt Angle, and it’s now Eddie vs. Kurt in the ring. Chavo tagged in, and Benoit too. Running Knee to the mid-section of Benoit, and quick tag to bring Eddie back in. Eddie pummeling Benoit in the corner. Crowd chanting we want Angle. Benoit trying to throw right hands at Eddie, but Eddie just mocks him. Chavo taggd in. Double team on the outside by Eddie and Chavo, with Angle in his own corner. Eddie tagged in, Springboard Swanton over the top rope. Chavo back in. European uppercut on Benoit. Benoit on the offensive with a backslide reversal, but Eddie breaks up the count at 2. Cheap shot on Angle by Chavo, 2 count on Benoit. Eddie back in. Kicks to the mid section and head, but Benoit reverses a whip into the ropes intoa flapjack. HUGE Powerbomb by Benoit, but Chavo floors The Rabid Wolverine from behind. Both men down on the canvas, but Eddie tags Chavo in. Chavo flies into the ring, straight into a Crippler Crossface… Eddie breaks it after a few seconds. Guerrero (Eddie) goes for the Frog Splash, but Benoit moves out the way. Benoit tags in Angle, who runs thru the Guerrero’s like a mad man. German Suplex on Chavo, Belly to Belly on Eddie. 2count, save by Chavo. Benoit in (but not tagged), German Suplex, then a Flying Headbutt off the top rope. Angle for the cover, but broken at 2. Suplex by Angle. Eddie up for the Frogsplash… Angle tried to reverse, but gets his reverse… reversed. 2 Count, broken by Benoit and put into a Crippler Crossface… will he tap… BROKEN BY CHAVO. Angle Slam on Guerrero… but reversed. Angle shoved into Benoit, into the ref. And now, Angle and Benoit fight. Eddie takes advantage, and locks in the Lasso From El Passo, but the ref is down. Reversal, Eddie taps to the Ankle lock, but the ref is down!!! Chavo in the ring, and nails Angle with the title belt. Chavo rolls the ref back into the ring, and it's over! 1...2...KICK OUT! Chavo on the top rope, but Benoit shoves him off the top to the outside. Angle with the Angle Slam for the pinfall victory!
WINNERS: CHRIS BENOIT & KURT ANGLE
After the match, the Tag Champs argue. Benoit saying "I saved your a$s". Angle not quite agreeing. Shoves are exchanged, as are words. Guerrero’s try to steal the title belts, but are ran from the ring by the champs.
Backstage, Heyman is doing press ups. He tries to hype Lesnar up, but Lesnar stops him and says that if Heyman loses to Edge… Lesnar will "bust him in half". Not all is well in the Lesnar and Heyman camp it seems…
EDGE -VS- BROCK LESNAR & PAUL HEYMAN
Edge mocks Lesnar with his little "warm up dance" thing. Edge backed into the corner, and hit with numerous shoulder charges. Edge mocks Lesnar again, and Lesnar charges at Edge, but after a low bridge on the top rope, Lesnar flies to the outside. Lesnar sent shoulder first into the steps, and then into the steel ring post. Edge attempts to drag Heyman into the ring, but Lesnar attacks him from behind. Heyman celebrates like he’s just won the match. Edge back in control, with a spinning heel kick. Spear on Heyman, who’s sent to the floor on the outside. Brock reverses an Irish whip with a over the head toss. Cover… 2 count. Sleeper on Edge… lasts for like, ages. 'Brock Lock' on Edge. Kinda like a Bear Hug, on the canvas. Edge reaching for the ropes. Quick moves by Edge on his return to the action, followed up by a Baseball slide to Heyman. Heyman is screaming on the outside… you can hear HIM over the ANNOUNCERS! Now THAT’S effort!Lesnar back on top with a powerslam, and a raw choke using the boot to Edge’s face against the ropes. Running shoulder charge by Edge, but Lesnar no sells it. Like running into a brick wall, as Cole said. Facebuster by Edge after Brock reverses an attempted Spinning Heel kick. 2 count by Edge. Lesnar to the outside. Uht oh… Heyman dragged into the ring! Top rope double axe handle on Heyman. 2 Count, and Lesnar drags Edge off Heyman. Edge climbs to the top rope, and hits a cross body onto Lesnar on the outside of the ring. Lesnar back in the ring, Edge back on the top rope… MISSILE DROPKICK! Pin! Kickout after 2! Edge gets to his feet, to the top rope, AGAIN! He thinks hes a cruiserweight. Cross body by Edge… BUT BROCK DUCKS. Edge nails the referee, Mike Chioda. FEdge gets to his feet, to the top rope, AGAIN! He thinks hes a cruiserweight. Cross body by Edge… BUT BROCK DUCKS. Edge nails the referee, Mike Chioda. F5 attempt by Lesnar, but Edge reverses into an Edgecution. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… but the referee is still down. Heyman rolls a chair into the ring, Lesnar swings… AND MISSES. Edge with the spear on Lesnar. But the ref is STILL Down. Both men back up, Lesnar swings, NAILS EDGE. Referee is back up… F5… you have it, the victory…
WINNERS: BROCK LESNAR & PAUL HEYMAN
After the match, Lesnar goes back up the ramp… but Heyman is in the ring. ECW chant from the crowd. Heyman with the chair. Scares away referee’s with the chair. Edge is in the corner, dazed, and Heyman is saying “you speared me in the ribs, you hurt my ribs”. Attempted chair shot on Edge, but he reverses. Edgecution on Heyman! Edge gets the last laugh as the show goes off the air!
BOOKER T -VS- MATT HARDY
Lots of pre-match jargon, such as a test of strength. Booker on the offensive with a set of clotheslines. Both men to the outside. Using the fencing as a weapon. Back into the ring. Attempted crossbow pinfall. Double Hart Attack Clothesline by Book and Hardy. Hardy gets up first, and locks in a Reverse Chinlock. This lasts for like, 3/4 minutes. Booker powers out, and hits a crecent kick for the 2 count. Matt into the corner. Hardy goes for a Leg Drop off the top rope, but misses. Booker hits a missile dropkick. 2 count only. Booker looks to go for the Spinaroonie, but Matt gets up. Attempted Twist of Fate, reversed… BOOK END! Kickout after two! Both men get back up, but Hardy hits the Twist of Fate. Two count. Hardy is angry because he thought he’d gotten a 3 count. Booker back up, Twist of Fate reversed… kick to the mid section, Scissors kick. Hits the 1.2.3 for the win.
WINNER: BOOKER T
Backstage, Paul Heyman is walking around suspiciously. He finds the office of SmackDown! General Manager Stephanie McMahon, and asks her why he has to be in tonight’s handicap match against Edge. Heyman is on a rant about how Edge can pin him, and win the title. How it just isn’t fair. Stephanie asks Heyman if its fair that he broke Undertaker’s hand before Hell In A Cell. But big news… Heyman cant compete. He has no wrestling gear. Stephanie says, that doesn’t matter… he can wrestle in his $2500 suit!
DAWN MARIE & JOHN CENA -VS- BILLY KIDMAN & TORRIE WILSON
Kidman and Cena in first, with Cena all at the advantage. Stalling standing suplex by Cena, but he took too much time. Rollup by Kidman, 2 count. Dawn Marie tags herself in, and kicks Kidman, but Kidman gets up and takes control. Torrie tagged in, who begins to SPANK Dawn Marie! Torrie with the dropkick to the face, laying Dawn to the Matt. Cena in on Wilson, but Torrie with a low blow. Flying elbow from the top rope by Kidman, for a 2 count. Dawn Marie distracts Kidman, but she’s dragged into the ring! However, the distraction worked, and Cena hits a dropkick. 2 Count. Kidman hits the Acid Drop bulldog on Cena for the 2 count. Both women roll to the outside. Enziguri kick to the back of Cena’s head. He sold it really well, and its Shooting Star Press time. Oh dear, Kidman screws it up, and knees Cena in the face and shoulder. Looked pretty painful.
WINNERS: TORRIE WILSON & BILLY KIDMAN
After the match, they liplock in the ring. They’re dating in real life folks, so that’s no real surprise to me. At the announce table, Cole hints that he wants Tazz to do the same to him. Tazz declines. Edge backstage, saying that he’s going to make the best of his first ever shot at the WWE Title. Don’t get him wrong, he wants the Undertaker back as soon as possible… but one man’s loss, is his gain! Announced that it’s June 7th 2003 in Newcastle, England, for the next UK event. I wonder if that’s next UK Smackdown! event, or next event. Ticketing information to be announced at a later WWE programming date.
FUNAKI -VS- CRASH
Straight into the action, with both men arm dragging each other. Crash reached into his pants to get a head band, the ones you wear doing Karate. It has a UK flag on it, and Crash begins to mock Funaki and Japan. Funaki counters with a kick to face. Whip into the ropes by Funaki, but Crash slips to the outside. They run around the outside and slide in. Crash with a knee to the back of Funaki. Running Bomb, but Crash rolled through for the 2 count. The crowd is absolutely DEAD throughout this match. We only get wrestling like 2 times a year in the entire country. You’d think they’d be a little excited… and Funaki is a little over. Shame about Crash. Both men back up, Swinging DDT by Funaki off the ropes. Dropkick to the forehead, 2 count. Crash back into the offense with an Inverted Atomic drop… gotta leave a mark on your love pump. Both men doing the “roll about and get 2 counts” thing. 2 count, 2 count, 2 count, 2 count… THREE COUNT??? Wow, that’s not how its meant to happen, its meant to be 2 2 2 2, not 2 2 2 2 3! But yeah…
WINNER: FUNAKI
Backstage segment between Nidia and Jamie Knoble. Speaking in riddles about a match against Rey Mysterio, and it being God’s country. Yeah… like we understood that. Small Rey Mysterio segment. He breathes into the camera, then leaves… weird.
JAMIE NOBLE (c) -VS- TAJIRI - VS- REY MYSTERIO
ELIMINATION RULES FOR WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Jamie Noble and Tajiri going at it, but both fall to the outside. Rey Jr flies to the outside with a corkscrew Plancha. This is going so fast its impossible to catch, hehe. Kick to the face of Tajiri by Rey. Noble up and hits a T-Bone suplex into a pin. 2 count, before Tajiri rips away his leg to stop the count. Tarantula on Rey, but Noble stops it and knocks Rey to the outside. Rey distracts Tajiri and Noble hits the Tiger Bomb on Tajiri. 3 count. Tajiri’s eliminated. And now it’s just Noble and Rey. Rey into the corner. Jamie distracts the ref whilst Nidia torques Rey’s left arm on the steel ring post. Noble shouts "what’s my NAME???" to the crowd, and gets a "who are ya?" response. Noble working away hard on the left arm of Rey, locking in an Armbar. Rey’s shoulders are tight to the mat, 2 count. Mysterio works his way back to his feet, but gets dropkicked in the corner. Mysterio starts to battle back, but gets caught in the Electric Chair position… REVERSAL by Rey, Swinging DDT. Both men are down for the 8 count, when they get back up. Mysterio gets to the top rope… Mosh Pit for the two count. Noble back on the offensive… Vertical bomb! Nidia up on the apron distracting the referee after Rey hits a Sunset Flip. Drop toe hold into the bottom rope by Rey. Attempted 619, but Nidia trips Rey. Tiger Bomb by Noble… surely the three… BUT NO, kickout from the Tiger Bomb!! First time that’s’ happened on Smackdown! Noble with the pin, Nidia grabs Noble’s hands for leverage… 3 count. Very soppy ending to a good match. The crowd didn’t even notice.
WINNER: JAMIE NOBLE
After the match Tajiri comes back down and sends Nidia and Jamie into the rope. Rey hits the 619 to Nidia and Jamie! The 12-2-18 apparently. Since it was to two people. That’s the best we’re getting from Michael Cole tonight, so lets enjoy it whilst we can.
Angle and Benoit backstage, with Angle explaining why he’s the captain of the team. Oh lord, in the background, crowd are chanting… "WHAT". Angle says their alliance is like, USA and England. Benoit points out he’s Canadian… Angle explains, he’s American, he’s the best. Benoit’s just a part of the commonwealth, so he’s not quite as good. Benoit teases Angle that he beat Angle at Unforgiven and on Smackdown!. Thus explaining, why he’s the team captain. Benoit says Kurt is damn lucky that suspension is still in place, cause if it wasn’t, Kurt would get his a$s kicked in that ring. So long as Angle follows Benoit’s lead… they’ll be just fine.
BIG VALBOWSKI & CHUCK PALUMBO -VS- D-VON & RON SIMMONS (Farrooq)
Simmons and Palumbo start off, but Valbowski is tagged in soon after. Choke and Slam (not a Chokeslam, but kinda…) on D-Von. Simmons comes in and hits the hard Spinebuster whilst Chuck accidentally distracts the referee. Diving clothesline by D-Von. Simmons tagged in. Chuck tagged in, working like a house on fire. Shake Rattle and Roll (formerly by Road Dogg, now by everybody and their mother) on D-Von. Attempted discus punch on Simmons, but reversed. Underhook suplex by Chuck on Simmons. Standing side kick on D-Von. 2 count, interrupted by Simmons. Simmons to the outside, Chuck follows, but stops at the ropes. D-Von with the schoolboy, Chuck’s backside falls outs of his tights, and it’s a 3 count.
WINNERS: D-VON & ROM SIMMONS
Backstage, Eddie is saying how they’re in the nicest place ever… they have to tell granma about it… they’re soooo glad they’re in GERMANY!! Chavo reminds him, they’re not in Germany, they’re in… IRELAND! Eddie explains, it DOESN’T MATTER WHERE THEY ARE. Ireland, England, Germany, USA… it’s nowhere near as good as MEXICO! They start speaking through the camera to Michael Cole. They’re talking about something that Mexico won, and USA lost. They cant wait to return to Mexico though, as Granma is cooking up a great meal, since the food over here sucks. They need to get outta this country, cause we "talk funny".
ALBERT -VS- RIKISHI
KISS MY A$S MATCH
Originally scheduled to be Rikishi vs. Matt Hardy, that was all changed when Booker T took on Hardy earlier in the night. Albert on the mic. "I know what you’re thinking… THAT MAN, IS WICKED SEXY! And Ladies, incase you were wondering… and I know you were, everything here (rubs his chest hair)… is AL natural". Clothesline by Rikishi. Whip into the ropes, Rikishi bends over, and Albert nearly runs into it. Albert hits the breaks and rolls to the outside. Back in the ring, Albert in control. Punches to Rikishi’s head, and then removes the covering from the top turnbuckle. Reverse chinlock by Albert, who uses the ropes for leverage. Referee notices, and stops him. Pump kick by Albert… 2 count. Albert charges into Rikishi, but he moves and runs into the exposed turnbuckle. Standing side kick by Rikishi, Banzai drop… Rikishi wins, poor Albert. Now he’s gotta kiss Rikishi’s a$s.
WINNER: RIKISHI
After the match, Rikishi whacks the mic across his backside, and reminds Albert he now has to kiss, Rikishi’s a$s. The referee Jimmy Kordaris lets Albert know that if he doesn’t come down to the ring and Kiss Rikishi’s within 10 seconds, he’s SUSPENED indefinitely without PAY. So, in he gets on 9… ew… he goes to kiss his a$s, but hits a low blow, then a Baldo Bomb. Does a Rikishi impression, goes for a stink face, but HE gets low blowed. Stink face. Shame, thought he was gonna get suspended.
Rikishi dances… with the Smackdown! announcers, Tazz and Michael Cole. Tazz says he cant do it… Crowd Boo. He says he CAN do it… but only with ALL the announcers. Tony Chimel comes into the ring. Haha, this is great. Chimel, Cole and Tazz w/ Rikishi, dancing, with hats on. Crowd chanting for Funaki. Guess he’s not a true announcer. Pyro pops on the ring post, and we learn that Taz just cannot dance. Nifty segment, as it definitely got the crowd into the show.
LOS GUERRERO'S -VS- CHRIS BENOIT & KURT ANGLE
WWE SMACKDOWN! TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
After much debate, Benoit lets Angle start the match. Eddie starts off… and his first move is… TAG TO CHAVO!! Lots of confusing “tag, tag, punch, tag, tag, punch”’s, before. Symultaneous German Suplexes followed by Chavo being kicked out of the ring (literally…) by Kurt Angle, and it’s now Eddie vs. Kurt in the ring. Chavo tagged in, and Benoit too. Running Knee to the mid-section of Benoit, and quick tag to bring Eddie back in. Eddie pummeling Benoit in the corner. Crowd chanting we want Angle. Benoit trying to throw right hands at Eddie, but Eddie just mocks him. Chavo taggd in. Double team on the outside by Eddie and Chavo, with Angle in his own corner. Eddie tagged in, Springboard Swanton over the top rope. Chavo back in. European uppercut on Benoit. Benoit on the offensive with a backslide reversal, but Eddie breaks up the count at 2. Cheap shot on Angle by Chavo, 2 count on Benoit. Eddie back in. Kicks to the mid section and head, but Benoit reverses a whip into the ropes intoa flapjack. HUGE Powerbomb by Benoit, but Chavo floors The Rabid Wolverine from behind. Both men down on the canvas, but Eddie tags Chavo in. Chavo flies into the ring, straight into a Crippler Crossface… Eddie breaks it after a few seconds. Guerrero (Eddie) goes for the Frog Splash, but Benoit moves out the way. Benoit tags in Angle, who runs thru the Guerrero’s like a mad man. German Suplex on Chavo, Belly to Belly on Eddie. 2count, save by Chavo. Benoit in (but not tagged), German Suplex, then a Flying Headbutt off the top rope. Angle for the cover, but broken at 2. Suplex by Angle. Eddie up for the Frogsplash… Angle tried to reverse, but gets his reverse… reversed. 2 Count, broken by Benoit and put into a Crippler Crossface… will he tap… BROKEN BY CHAVO. Angle Slam on Guerrero… but reversed. Angle shoved into Benoit, into the ref. And now, Angle and Benoit fight. Eddie takes advantage, and locks in the Lasso From El Passo, but the ref is down. Reversal, Eddie taps to the Ankle lock, but the ref is down!!! Chavo in the ring, and nails Angle with the title belt. Chavo rolls the ref back into the ring, and it's over! 1...2...KICK OUT! Chavo on the top rope, but Benoit shoves him off the top to the outside. Angle with the Angle Slam for the pinfall victory!
WINNERS: CHRIS BENOIT & KURT ANGLE
After the match, the Tag Champs argue. Benoit saying "I saved your a$s". Angle not quite agreeing. Shoves are exchanged, as are words. Guerrero’s try to steal the title belts, but are ran from the ring by the champs.
Backstage, Heyman is doing press ups. He tries to hype Lesnar up, but Lesnar stops him and says that if Heyman loses to Edge… Lesnar will "bust him in half". Not all is well in the Lesnar and Heyman camp it seems…
EDGE -VS- BROCK LESNAR & PAUL HEYMAN
Edge mocks Lesnar with his little "warm up dance" thing. Edge backed into the corner, and hit with numerous shoulder charges. Edge mocks Lesnar again, and Lesnar charges at Edge, but after a low bridge on the top rope, Lesnar flies to the outside. Lesnar sent shoulder first into the steps, and then into the steel ring post. Edge attempts to drag Heyman into the ring, but Lesnar attacks him from behind. Heyman celebrates like he’s just won the match. Edge back in control, with a spinning heel kick. Spear on Heyman, who’s sent to the floor on the outside. Brock reverses an Irish whip with a over the head toss. Cover… 2 count. Sleeper on Edge… lasts for like, ages. 'Brock Lock' on Edge. Kinda like a Bear Hug, on the canvas. Edge reaching for the ropes. Quick moves by Edge on his return to the action, followed up by a Baseball slide to Heyman. Heyman is screaming on the outside… you can hear HIM over the ANNOUNCERS! Now THAT’S effort!Lesnar back on top with a powerslam, and a raw choke using the boot to Edge’s face against the ropes. Running shoulder charge by Edge, but Lesnar no sells it. Like running into a brick wall, as Cole said. Facebuster by Edge after Brock reverses an attempted Spinning Heel kick. 2 count by Edge. Lesnar to the outside. Uht oh… Heyman dragged into the ring! Top rope double axe handle on Heyman. 2 Count, and Lesnar drags Edge off Heyman. Edge climbs to the top rope, and hits a cross body onto Lesnar on the outside of the ring. Lesnar back in the ring, Edge back on the top rope… MISSILE DROPKICK! Pin! Kickout after 2! Edge gets to his feet, to the top rope, AGAIN! He thinks hes a cruiserweight. Cross body by Edge… BUT BROCK DUCKS. Edge nails the referee, Mike Chioda. FEdge gets to his feet, to the top rope, AGAIN! He thinks hes a cruiserweight. Cross body by Edge… BUT BROCK DUCKS. Edge nails the referee, Mike Chioda. F5 attempt by Lesnar, but Edge reverses into an Edgecution. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… but the referee is still down. Heyman rolls a chair into the ring, Lesnar swings… AND MISSES. Edge with the spear on Lesnar. But the ref is STILL Down. Both men back up, Lesnar swings, NAILS EDGE. Referee is back up… F5… you have it, the victory…
WINNERS: BROCK LESNAR & PAUL HEYMAN
After the match, Lesnar goes back up the ramp… but Heyman is in the ring. ECW chant from the crowd. Heyman with the chair. Scares away referee’s with the chair. Edge is in the corner, dazed, and Heyman is saying “you speared me in the ribs, you hurt my ribs”. Attempted chair shot on Edge, but he reverses. Edgecution on Heyman! Edge gets the last laugh as the show goes off the air!
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Guyzer wrote:
> Lol
>
> Well if it isnt Liam the Beethoven lover.
:D
Liam sure does love Beethoven...
> Lol
>
> Well if it isnt Liam the Beethoven lover.
:D
Liam sure does love Beethoven...
I saw the photo of Mystique on special observe,.......... she looks like a man.............
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> "Announced that it’s June 7th 2003 in Newcastle, England, for the
> next UK event. I wonder if that’s next UK Smackdown! event, or next
> event. Ticketing information to be announced at a later WWE
> programming date."
>
> It's Insurrection, and I'm going with a few of my college friends
> (since we live in Newcastle)
Heh, Scotty'll be back by then, hopefully you'll see the SmackDown brand.
I remember AJ saying he'd seen GMS at a WWA event...any good AJster?
> "Announced that it’s June 7th 2003 in Newcastle, England, for the
> next UK event. I wonder if that’s next UK Smackdown! event, or next
> event. Ticketing information to be announced at a later WWE
> programming date."
>
> It's Insurrection, and I'm going with a few of my college friends
> (since we live in Newcastle)
Heh, Scotty'll be back by then, hopefully you'll see the SmackDown brand.
I remember AJ saying he'd seen GMS at a WWA event...any good AJster?
"Announced that it’s June 7th 2003 in Newcastle, England, for the next UK event. I wonder if that’s next UK Smackdown! event, or next event. Ticketing information to be announced at a later WWE programming date."
It's Insurrection, and I'm going with a few of my college friends (since we live in Newcastle)
It's Insurrection, and I'm going with a few of my college friends (since we live in Newcastle)
so there is no respect for uz fello uk'ers then eh from the WWE all we get is matches like rikishi vs albert (boring or wat)
and aint we even good enought for a propper ppv which has title changes and both rosters staring in it.
i know in futre to not even bother to get it out on ppv
and aint we even good enought for a propper ppv which has title changes and both rosters staring in it.
i know in futre to not even bother to get it out on ppv
DW wrote:
> American's don't actually get to see overseas PPV's like InsurreXion,
> Rebellion, Global Warming etc, not even on pay-per-view, so we're
> kinda lucky. Hmmm.
Thats because they;re crap and nothing good ever happens, There has only ever beeen one belt change in the UK and that was when BRITISH (hmm) Bulldog beat Crash Holly for the hardcore title because of the 24/7 rule Oh what a big change over that was.
(R.I.P British Bulldog "Davey-boy" Smith)
> American's don't actually get to see overseas PPV's like InsurreXion,
> Rebellion, Global Warming etc, not even on pay-per-view, so we're
> kinda lucky. Hmmm.
Thats because they;re crap and nothing good ever happens, There has only ever beeen one belt change in the UK and that was when BRITISH (hmm) Bulldog beat Crash Holly for the hardcore title because of the 24/7 rule Oh what a big change over that was.
(R.I.P British Bulldog "Davey-boy" Smith)
Okay, I'm sure my little house show thing is true. Anyway, WWE did go to Dublin (or was it Belfast?) in the Road to Rebellion the day before. It wasn't that good, as Steph and Heyman were no-shows. I heard WWE Rebellion Aftermath/Sheffield Live was good. Must see the how week of UK WWE when they release the DVD.
The Raw roster had a house show the same night?
Well, thats shows how little the WWE value the fans in the UK.
They would rather do a house show in the States than a PPV in the UK.
Still, at least they come to the UK,
They don't come to Ireland... sigh.
Well, thats shows how little the WWE value the fans in the UK.
They would rather do a house show in the States than a PPV in the UK.
Still, at least they come to the UK,
They don't come to Ireland... sigh.
Firstly, I have to agree about how racist Michael Cole and Tazz were. Yeah, you can laugh at me for saying that, but it is true. Tazz is meant to be a bada$s that gets on with the crowd, whilst Cole is the sorta cocky one who nobody likes. But it was kinda different in England. Tazz kept on saying about how good America were compared to England, and Cole kept on coming out with pathetic lines like "That's what SmackDown! is all about" just as Rikishi done a Stink Face. Moving on, I don't actually know why it was an all SmackDown PPV. RAW had a house show the same night as Rebellion over in the States. Hmmm. As for the title changes...what do you expect? American's don't actually get to see overseas PPV's like InsurreXion, Rebellion, Global Warming etc, not even on pay-per-view, so we're kinda lucky. Hmmm.
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