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Scene 1
*Some tree branches with monkeys crawling on them are shown.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: The spoof I am about to tell you isn’t a pretty one *studio audience laugh*. Hey! That’s not funny! Why I oughta…. But, like many spoofs, it all revolves around a girl. Mystique. The most beautiful girl in the world. The girl I’ve loved all my life. But partly because she’s the only girl on SR, just like in many other spoofs.
*School bus. We see Mystique sitting with boyfriend Tiltawhirl.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: I wish I could tell you that was me.
*In front of them sits Asher D, eating a muffin while chatting with his cronies.*
Monkey_man Voice over: I’d take him, too. As in I’d kill him. But, unfortunately, that’s me.
*We see m_m running along side the bus with his glasses falling off as the children and driver, Rakuga, laugh at him*
M_M: Stop the bus! Stop laughing at me!
Mystique: Come on, Rakuga, stop the bus!
Rakuga: Wait, you’re popular but defending the geek, that doesn’t make sense!
Mystique: Of course not, it’s a spoof! We’ve gotta sell me to the audience as a nice girl!
Rakuga: Eh?
Mystique: It’s one of them spoof typical things, in the same way that our conversation is a spoof-typical thing as we’re discussing spoof-typical things and the discussers are a spoof-writer and a person who stars in lot of spoofs!
Rakuga: Ya what?
Mystique: Just stop the damn bus!
Scene 2
*The kids are in a research lab where monkeys are screaming everywhere, being led by Your Honour. M_M and best friend Mojojojo are standing next to each other after Mojo’s Dad, Stryke, totally embarrassed him.*
Your Honour: This here is the biologically created News Monkey, which will be used for research in Upwire in a few months.
*Applause.*
Mojojojo: I swear, m_m, that Dad of mine wishes that you were his son, not me.
M_M: It’s ‘cause I know such much about monkeys. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mojojojo: Erm, yeah… Hey, look there, it’s Mystique. You should go talk to her.
M_M: Nah, I can’t. She’ll punch me.
Mojojojo: Then I will.
*Mojojojo walks over to Mystique who is looking at some cages.*
Mystique: Aw, they’re so cute!
Mojojojo: Yeah, they’re great…
Mystique: Nah, actually, they suck.
Mojojojo: Oh, erm, yeah, they suck. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mystique: I said they suck! *Mystique hits Mojojojo.*
M_M: Told ya so….
Your Honour: Shut up. Over here you can see we are working on 500 new types of biologically created monkeys.
Mystique: Actually, there’s only two here. It says they’re called “Paralysed Monkey” and “In need of Panadol monkey.”
Your Honour: Well, they are probably having research done on them now.
Mystique: Actually they’re up on the ceiling, doing something tat looks kinda grosse…
Your Honour: Shut up.
*The group moves on*
M_M: Mystique, wait! Can I draw you?
Mystique: Draw me? You perv!
M_M: Please, it’s for the, er, school newspaper!
Mystique: We live in Essex. Schools don’t have newspapers. Ah, what the hey, draw away. But don’t make my boobs looks small.
M_M: That could never happen!
*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!
Scene 3
*M_M waves to aunt and Uncle Rosalind and Goatboy and jumps into bed, exhausted. He wakes up next morning, puts on his glasses and finds he sees better without them.*
M_M: Woah.
*M_M then looks at himself in the mirror.*
M_M: Wait a sec. Body Hair. Deeper Voice. Could it be? Yes! Puberty! Woohoo! And they said it DIDN’T happen overnight!
*M_M rushes downstairs.*
M_M: Hey Auntie Ros, yo uncle Goaty!
Goaty: Hey there. Don’t forget to come and kick the neighbour’s dog after school with me!
M_M: I’ll be there!
*M_M is in the canteen on his own at school, eating his lunch. He looks up. Suddenly, he notices a tree branch is sticking out of his wrist, and has attached itself to a tray in front of him. He tries to swing it back and it hits Tiltawhirl’s head, pouring baked beans all over him.*
Tiltawhirl: You won’t get away with this, M_M!
*M_M pokes the tree branch at Tilty.*
Tiltawhirl: Ow…
M_M: I know branch-fu. Ba-dum-cha!
*Some guys start attacking him. He runs away, poking tree branches where necessary, into a side street. He looks at his fingers, sees he can climb up walls, and starts practising his many new abilities…*
Scene 4
*M_M is looking through a magazine when he notices an advert.
SRW ECLIPSE: SPECIAL EDITION – DEFEAT THE CONG MAN AND WIN 50 GADS.
A smile comes to M_M’s face.*
*M_M’s house a few mornings later*
Goatboy: Wait, M_M, where are you going?
M_M: The library. To, er, read.
Goatboy: Let me give you a lift, there’s something I need to talk to you about…
M_M: It’s called puberty, you idiot!
*M_M runs off.*
*The Cong Man is fighting Hawk in the SRW arena. He nails the diving headbutt and wins, making the crowd go wild in excitement.*
Ice Blaster: “Can anyone stop the mighty Cong Man? Well, it looks like we have one last challenger to try and win 50 GADS.” Hey, kid, what’s your name again?
M_M: The human monkey.
Ice Blaster: *sighs* Why do I always come up with the names? “Ladies and Gentleman, the one and only, Monkey_Man!”
Monkey_Man: *We see him in a rubbish costume consisting of a hat with a monkey on it* He got my name wrong! Aaaahhhh!
*Monkey_Man runs around with a branch sticking out of his wrist, knocks over Cong Man. The crowd love him.*
*Later, in a backstage office, M_M is standing in front of Ant, who’s counting out Gads.*
Ant: 1, 2, and 3. Here ya go.
M_M: Wait, the ad said 50!
Ant: That’s if you beat him. You just shoved wood in his face.
M_M: But-
Ant: Where’s the part where I should care?
Armitage Shanks: Now you moron! *Armitage is holding a Super Soaker to Ant’s head.*
Ant: No! Not water! Here, take the Gads!
Armitage Shanks: Now pb shall be defeated! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*Armitage runs off.*
Ant: You fool! You could have stopped him!
M_M: Where’s the part where I should care?
Ant: Right about now-
M_M: Put the gun down.
Ant: *feebly* Yes sir.
Scene 5
*M_M is walking in the streets when a crowd forms somewhere. He goes there, and sees uncle Goatboy lying on the floor, wet. He sees Armitage Shanks running off, puts on his Monkey hat and chases him. They somehow end up on the top of a tall building.*
Armitage Shanks: Don’t touch me – I’ll shoot you!
M_M: It’s Water.
Armitage: Ah. AAAAHHH! *falls off building. M_M goes back to Goatboy.*
Goatboy: Avenge my death.
M_M: Done that.
Goatboy: I see. Well, remember this: With great power, comes lots of Gads.
M_M: Cool. *Goatboy dies.*
Scene 6
*Stryke and Mr. Happy are pacing around in their laboratory.*
Stryke: I can’t believe SR shut down our top-secret drug that would make humans stronger!
Mr. Happy: You mean the steroids? Erm, Stryke, those have been illegal for decades. Let’s go watch an obscure film no-one’s heard of.
Stryke: And they wouldn’t let us use them!
*Mr. Happy sighs.*
Stryke: Wait! I know! We’ll use them on me to test what happens with them!
Mr. Happy: I already know what happens when-
Stryke: Silence! *He takes the steroids. He feels cool.*
Mr. Happy: I hate this life. *Happy takes another illegal drug that kills him.*
Scene 7
*Graduation at M_M’s school. Mystique and Tiltawhirl have split up. Stryke comes in to pick up Mojojojo, who is chatting with M_M.*
Stryke: Well done, both of you. I remember when I was your age…
Mojojojo: Dad, we’re older than you.
Stryke: Then how can I be your Dad?
Mojojojo: It’s a spoof, it doesn’t have to make sense.
Stryke: Fair Enough.
*M_M walks over to Mystique.*
M_M: So, what are you gonna do, now that school’s over?
Mystique: I’m gonna try and become an actress.
M_M: Cool! You were great in all the school plays!
Mystique: I wasn’t in any of the school plays.
M_M: Oh… Then, why do you wanna be an actress?
Mystique: It requires no talent, and I get to sleep with loads of celebs and nick their wallets.
M_M: Right… Well I’m gonna continue doing my computer drawings an-
Mystique: And carry on being a geek. I’ve gotta go, Mojojojojojojojojojojojojo says he’ll pay me if I go out with him tonight.
Scene 8
*Myst and Mojo are in a restaurant together*
Mojo: You look so beautiful….
Mystique: Just order the most expensive thing on the menu NOW!
Sniper: Muahaha! I am the evil Sniper, and my txt talk will kill you all!
Mystique: How come you’re not txt talking now?
Sniper: Er…. soz?
Mystique: AAAGH!
*Several receive heart attacks, as Sniper flies off*
Stryke: Wow! I didn’t know I could fly when pretending to be Sniper! Now to terrorise Snuggly!
*Upwire, somewhere in Essex*
M_M: Why won’t you use my pictures of Monkey_Man?
Snuggly: Because you drew them on a computer. And we do news for games, not peculiar mammals.
*Sniper appears*
Sniper: Aha! I will defeat you Snuggly, for all the times you… I mean….. soz!
Snuggly: AGGGGH!
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you!
*Sniper and Monkey_Man fight in the air, as, for some reason, they can fly. It is tedious*
Monkey_Man: Man, this is tedious.
Sniper: Yes. Very tedious.
Monkey_Man: How about we skip to scene 3,128, where you, as Stryke, know I’m M_M, and decide to kill Mystique because she stole your wallet, and I fancy her?
Sniper/Stryke: Suits me.
Scene 3,128
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you Mystique!
*Monkey_Man sticks a branch in Sniper’s ace, which means he now sees him as Stryke.*
Monkey_Man: You’re Stryke! I can’t kill you…. They’ll be an angry mob after me!
Stryke: Actually, I’m about to die…. Avenge my death…..
Monkey_Man: But I just killed you.
Stryke: Fair enough….. *He drops down dead, and Mojo suddenly appears*
Mojo: Nooooo! He funded my spoofs! I’ll kill you Monkey_Man!
Scene 3,129
*Stryke’s funeral*
M_M: I’m sorry about what happened, Mojo.
Mojojojo: I’m gonna kill that mutated monkey! And then, I’ll steal all his drawings and become a rich billionaire! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*M_M goes to talk to Mystique*
M_M: Listen, Myst, I need to tell you something.
Mystique: You fancy me? Yeah I already knew.
M_M: Eh? How?
Mystique: Everyone on the forums knows!
M_M: Well, er, will you go out with me?
Mystique: If you pay me 50 Gads, sure.
M_M: You’re on!
THE END
------------
You may have noticed I kinda ran out of ideas in the middle of that....
Allardini
*Some tree branches with monkeys crawling on them are shown.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: The spoof I am about to tell you isn’t a pretty one *studio audience laugh*. Hey! That’s not funny! Why I oughta…. But, like many spoofs, it all revolves around a girl. Mystique. The most beautiful girl in the world. The girl I’ve loved all my life. But partly because she’s the only girl on SR, just like in many other spoofs.
*School bus. We see Mystique sitting with boyfriend Tiltawhirl.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: I wish I could tell you that was me.
*In front of them sits Asher D, eating a muffin while chatting with his cronies.*
Monkey_man Voice over: I’d take him, too. As in I’d kill him. But, unfortunately, that’s me.
*We see m_m running along side the bus with his glasses falling off as the children and driver, Rakuga, laugh at him*
M_M: Stop the bus! Stop laughing at me!
Mystique: Come on, Rakuga, stop the bus!
Rakuga: Wait, you’re popular but defending the geek, that doesn’t make sense!
Mystique: Of course not, it’s a spoof! We’ve gotta sell me to the audience as a nice girl!
Rakuga: Eh?
Mystique: It’s one of them spoof typical things, in the same way that our conversation is a spoof-typical thing as we’re discussing spoof-typical things and the discussers are a spoof-writer and a person who stars in lot of spoofs!
Rakuga: Ya what?
Mystique: Just stop the damn bus!
Scene 2
*The kids are in a research lab where monkeys are screaming everywhere, being led by Your Honour. M_M and best friend Mojojojo are standing next to each other after Mojo’s Dad, Stryke, totally embarrassed him.*
Your Honour: This here is the biologically created News Monkey, which will be used for research in Upwire in a few months.
*Applause.*
Mojojojo: I swear, m_m, that Dad of mine wishes that you were his son, not me.
M_M: It’s ‘cause I know such much about monkeys. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mojojojo: Erm, yeah… Hey, look there, it’s Mystique. You should go talk to her.
M_M: Nah, I can’t. She’ll punch me.
Mojojojo: Then I will.
*Mojojojo walks over to Mystique who is looking at some cages.*
Mystique: Aw, they’re so cute!
Mojojojo: Yeah, they’re great…
Mystique: Nah, actually, they suck.
Mojojojo: Oh, erm, yeah, they suck. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mystique: I said they suck! *Mystique hits Mojojojo.*
M_M: Told ya so….
Your Honour: Shut up. Over here you can see we are working on 500 new types of biologically created monkeys.
Mystique: Actually, there’s only two here. It says they’re called “Paralysed Monkey” and “In need of Panadol monkey.”
Your Honour: Well, they are probably having research done on them now.
Mystique: Actually they’re up on the ceiling, doing something tat looks kinda grosse…
Your Honour: Shut up.
*The group moves on*
M_M: Mystique, wait! Can I draw you?
Mystique: Draw me? You perv!
M_M: Please, it’s for the, er, school newspaper!
Mystique: We live in Essex. Schools don’t have newspapers. Ah, what the hey, draw away. But don’t make my boobs looks small.
M_M: That could never happen!
*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!
Scene 3
*M_M waves to aunt and Uncle Rosalind and Goatboy and jumps into bed, exhausted. He wakes up next morning, puts on his glasses and finds he sees better without them.*
M_M: Woah.
*M_M then looks at himself in the mirror.*
M_M: Wait a sec. Body Hair. Deeper Voice. Could it be? Yes! Puberty! Woohoo! And they said it DIDN’T happen overnight!
*M_M rushes downstairs.*
M_M: Hey Auntie Ros, yo uncle Goaty!
Goaty: Hey there. Don’t forget to come and kick the neighbour’s dog after school with me!
M_M: I’ll be there!
*M_M is in the canteen on his own at school, eating his lunch. He looks up. Suddenly, he notices a tree branch is sticking out of his wrist, and has attached itself to a tray in front of him. He tries to swing it back and it hits Tiltawhirl’s head, pouring baked beans all over him.*
Tiltawhirl: You won’t get away with this, M_M!
*M_M pokes the tree branch at Tilty.*
Tiltawhirl: Ow…
M_M: I know branch-fu. Ba-dum-cha!
*Some guys start attacking him. He runs away, poking tree branches where necessary, into a side street. He looks at his fingers, sees he can climb up walls, and starts practising his many new abilities…*
Scene 4
*M_M is looking through a magazine when he notices an advert.
SRW ECLIPSE: SPECIAL EDITION – DEFEAT THE CONG MAN AND WIN 50 GADS.
A smile comes to M_M’s face.*
*M_M’s house a few mornings later*
Goatboy: Wait, M_M, where are you going?
M_M: The library. To, er, read.
Goatboy: Let me give you a lift, there’s something I need to talk to you about…
M_M: It’s called puberty, you idiot!
*M_M runs off.*
*The Cong Man is fighting Hawk in the SRW arena. He nails the diving headbutt and wins, making the crowd go wild in excitement.*
Ice Blaster: “Can anyone stop the mighty Cong Man? Well, it looks like we have one last challenger to try and win 50 GADS.” Hey, kid, what’s your name again?
M_M: The human monkey.
Ice Blaster: *sighs* Why do I always come up with the names? “Ladies and Gentleman, the one and only, Monkey_Man!”
Monkey_Man: *We see him in a rubbish costume consisting of a hat with a monkey on it* He got my name wrong! Aaaahhhh!
*Monkey_Man runs around with a branch sticking out of his wrist, knocks over Cong Man. The crowd love him.*
*Later, in a backstage office, M_M is standing in front of Ant, who’s counting out Gads.*
Ant: 1, 2, and 3. Here ya go.
M_M: Wait, the ad said 50!
Ant: That’s if you beat him. You just shoved wood in his face.
M_M: But-
Ant: Where’s the part where I should care?
Armitage Shanks: Now you moron! *Armitage is holding a Super Soaker to Ant’s head.*
Ant: No! Not water! Here, take the Gads!
Armitage Shanks: Now pb shall be defeated! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*Armitage runs off.*
Ant: You fool! You could have stopped him!
M_M: Where’s the part where I should care?
Ant: Right about now-
M_M: Put the gun down.
Ant: *feebly* Yes sir.
Scene 5
*M_M is walking in the streets when a crowd forms somewhere. He goes there, and sees uncle Goatboy lying on the floor, wet. He sees Armitage Shanks running off, puts on his Monkey hat and chases him. They somehow end up on the top of a tall building.*
Armitage Shanks: Don’t touch me – I’ll shoot you!
M_M: It’s Water.
Armitage: Ah. AAAAHHH! *falls off building. M_M goes back to Goatboy.*
Goatboy: Avenge my death.
M_M: Done that.
Goatboy: I see. Well, remember this: With great power, comes lots of Gads.
M_M: Cool. *Goatboy dies.*
Scene 6
*Stryke and Mr. Happy are pacing around in their laboratory.*
Stryke: I can’t believe SR shut down our top-secret drug that would make humans stronger!
Mr. Happy: You mean the steroids? Erm, Stryke, those have been illegal for decades. Let’s go watch an obscure film no-one’s heard of.
Stryke: And they wouldn’t let us use them!
*Mr. Happy sighs.*
Stryke: Wait! I know! We’ll use them on me to test what happens with them!
Mr. Happy: I already know what happens when-
Stryke: Silence! *He takes the steroids. He feels cool.*
Mr. Happy: I hate this life. *Happy takes another illegal drug that kills him.*
Scene 7
*Graduation at M_M’s school. Mystique and Tiltawhirl have split up. Stryke comes in to pick up Mojojojo, who is chatting with M_M.*
Stryke: Well done, both of you. I remember when I was your age…
Mojojojo: Dad, we’re older than you.
Stryke: Then how can I be your Dad?
Mojojojo: It’s a spoof, it doesn’t have to make sense.
Stryke: Fair Enough.
*M_M walks over to Mystique.*
M_M: So, what are you gonna do, now that school’s over?
Mystique: I’m gonna try and become an actress.
M_M: Cool! You were great in all the school plays!
Mystique: I wasn’t in any of the school plays.
M_M: Oh… Then, why do you wanna be an actress?
Mystique: It requires no talent, and I get to sleep with loads of celebs and nick their wallets.
M_M: Right… Well I’m gonna continue doing my computer drawings an-
Mystique: And carry on being a geek. I’ve gotta go, Mojojojojojojojojojojojojo says he’ll pay me if I go out with him tonight.
Scene 8
*Myst and Mojo are in a restaurant together*
Mojo: You look so beautiful….
Mystique: Just order the most expensive thing on the menu NOW!
Sniper: Muahaha! I am the evil Sniper, and my txt talk will kill you all!
Mystique: How come you’re not txt talking now?
Sniper: Er…. soz?
Mystique: AAAGH!
*Several receive heart attacks, as Sniper flies off*
Stryke: Wow! I didn’t know I could fly when pretending to be Sniper! Now to terrorise Snuggly!
*Upwire, somewhere in Essex*
M_M: Why won’t you use my pictures of Monkey_Man?
Snuggly: Because you drew them on a computer. And we do news for games, not peculiar mammals.
*Sniper appears*
Sniper: Aha! I will defeat you Snuggly, for all the times you… I mean….. soz!
Snuggly: AGGGGH!
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you!
*Sniper and Monkey_Man fight in the air, as, for some reason, they can fly. It is tedious*
Monkey_Man: Man, this is tedious.
Sniper: Yes. Very tedious.
Monkey_Man: How about we skip to scene 3,128, where you, as Stryke, know I’m M_M, and decide to kill Mystique because she stole your wallet, and I fancy her?
Sniper/Stryke: Suits me.
Scene 3,128
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you Mystique!
*Monkey_Man sticks a branch in Sniper’s ace, which means he now sees him as Stryke.*
Monkey_Man: You’re Stryke! I can’t kill you…. They’ll be an angry mob after me!
Stryke: Actually, I’m about to die…. Avenge my death…..
Monkey_Man: But I just killed you.
Stryke: Fair enough….. *He drops down dead, and Mojo suddenly appears*
Mojo: Nooooo! He funded my spoofs! I’ll kill you Monkey_Man!
Scene 3,129
*Stryke’s funeral*
M_M: I’m sorry about what happened, Mojo.
Mojojojo: I’m gonna kill that mutated monkey! And then, I’ll steal all his drawings and become a rich billionaire! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*M_M goes to talk to Mystique*
M_M: Listen, Myst, I need to tell you something.
Mystique: You fancy me? Yeah I already knew.
M_M: Eh? How?
Mystique: Everyone on the forums knows!
M_M: Well, er, will you go out with me?
Mystique: If you pay me 50 Gads, sure.
M_M: You’re on!
THE END
------------
You may have noticed I kinda ran out of ideas in the middle of that....
Allardini
That's just, like, wow man, hey, like, that's incredibly accurate to my real life, man, like.
like.
like.
Cheers. Remind what you were saying on msn about your spoofs....:D
Ha ha, very good
Especially
"*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!"
That made me laugh
Especially
"*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!"
That made me laugh
Scene 1
*Some tree branches with monkeys crawling on them are shown.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: The spoof I am about to tell you isn’t a pretty one *studio audience laugh*. Hey! That’s not funny! Why I oughta…. But, like many spoofs, it all revolves around a girl. Mystique. The most beautiful girl in the world. The girl I’ve loved all my life. But partly because she’s the only girl on SR, just like in many other spoofs.
*School bus. We see Mystique sitting with boyfriend Tiltawhirl.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: I wish I could tell you that was me.
*In front of them sits Asher D, eating a muffin while chatting with his cronies.*
Monkey_man Voice over: I’d take him, too. As in I’d kill him. But, unfortunately, that’s me.
*We see m_m running along side the bus with his glasses falling off as the children and driver, Rakuga, laugh at him*
M_M: Stop the bus! Stop laughing at me!
Mystique: Come on, Rakuga, stop the bus!
Rakuga: Wait, you’re popular but defending the geek, that doesn’t make sense!
Mystique: Of course not, it’s a spoof! We’ve gotta sell me to the audience as a nice girl!
Rakuga: Eh?
Mystique: It’s one of them spoof typical things, in the same way that our conversation is a spoof-typical thing as we’re discussing spoof-typical things and the discussers are a spoof-writer and a person who stars in lot of spoofs!
Rakuga: Ya what?
Mystique: Just stop the damn bus!
Scene 2
*The kids are in a research lab where monkeys are screaming everywhere, being led by Your Honour. M_M and best friend Mojojojo are standing next to each other after Mojo’s Dad, Stryke, totally embarrassed him.*
Your Honour: This here is the biologically created News Monkey, which will be used for research in Upwire in a few months.
*Applause.*
Mojojojo: I swear, m_m, that Dad of mine wishes that you were his son, not me.
M_M: It’s ‘cause I know such much about monkeys. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mojojojo: Erm, yeah… Hey, look there, it’s Mystique. You should go talk to her.
M_M: Nah, I can’t. She’ll punch me.
Mojojojo: Then I will.
*Mojojojo walks over to Mystique who is looking at some cages.*
Mystique: Aw, they’re so cute!
Mojojojo: Yeah, they’re great…
Mystique: Nah, actually, they suck.
Mojojojo: Oh, erm, yeah, they suck. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mystique: I said they suck! *Mystique hits Mojojojo.*
M_M: Told ya so….
Your Honour: Shut up. Over here you can see we are working on 500 new types of biologically created monkeys.
Mystique: Actually, there’s only two here. It says they’re called “Paralysed Monkey” and “In need of Panadol monkey.”
Your Honour: Well, they are probably having research done on them now.
Mystique: Actually they’re up on the ceiling, doing something tat looks kinda grosse…
Your Honour: Shut up.
*The group moves on*
M_M: Mystique, wait! Can I draw you?
Mystique: Draw me? You perv!
M_M: Please, it’s for the, er, school newspaper!
Mystique: We live in Essex. Schools don’t have newspapers. Ah, what the hey, draw away. But don’t make my boobs looks small.
M_M: That could never happen!
*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!
Scene 3
*M_M waves to aunt and Uncle Rosalind and Goatboy and jumps into bed, exhausted. He wakes up next morning, puts on his glasses and finds he sees better without them.*
M_M: Woah.
*M_M then looks at himself in the mirror.*
M_M: Wait a sec. Body Hair. Deeper Voice. Could it be? Yes! Puberty! Woohoo! And they said it DIDN’T happen overnight!
*M_M rushes downstairs.*
M_M: Hey Auntie Ros, yo uncle Goaty!
Goaty: Hey there. Don’t forget to come and kick the neighbour’s dog after school with me!
M_M: I’ll be there!
*M_M is in the canteen on his own at school, eating his lunch. He looks up. Suddenly, he notices a tree branch is sticking out of his wrist, and has attached itself to a tray in front of him. He tries to swing it back and it hits Tiltawhirl’s head, pouring baked beans all over him.*
Tiltawhirl: You won’t get away with this, M_M!
*M_M pokes the tree branch at Tilty.*
Tiltawhirl: Ow…
M_M: I know branch-fu. Ba-dum-cha!
*Some guys start attacking him. He runs away, poking tree branches where necessary, into a side street. He looks at his fingers, sees he can climb up walls, and starts practising his many new abilities…*
Scene 4
*M_M is looking through a magazine when he notices an advert.
SRW ECLIPSE: SPECIAL EDITION – DEFEAT THE CONG MAN AND WIN 50 GADS.
A smile comes to M_M’s face.*
*M_M’s house a few mornings later*
Goatboy: Wait, M_M, where are you going?
M_M: The library. To, er, read.
Goatboy: Let me give you a lift, there’s something I need to talk to you about…
M_M: It’s called puberty, you idiot!
*M_M runs off.*
*The Cong Man is fighting Hawk in the SRW arena. He nails the diving headbutt and wins, making the crowd go wild in excitement.*
Ice Blaster: “Can anyone stop the mighty Cong Man? Well, it looks like we have one last challenger to try and win 50 GADS.” Hey, kid, what’s your name again?
M_M: The human monkey.
Ice Blaster: *sighs* Why do I always come up with the names? “Ladies and Gentleman, the one and only, Monkey_Man!”
Monkey_Man: *We see him in a rubbish costume consisting of a hat with a monkey on it* He got my name wrong! Aaaahhhh!
*Monkey_Man runs around with a branch sticking out of his wrist, knocks over Cong Man. The crowd love him.*
*Later, in a backstage office, M_M is standing in front of Ant, who’s counting out Gads.*
Ant: 1, 2, and 3. Here ya go.
M_M: Wait, the ad said 50!
Ant: That’s if you beat him. You just shoved wood in his face.
M_M: But-
Ant: Where’s the part where I should care?
Armitage Shanks: Now you moron! *Armitage is holding a Super Soaker to Ant’s head.*
Ant: No! Not water! Here, take the Gads!
Armitage Shanks: Now pb shall be defeated! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*Armitage runs off.*
Ant: You fool! You could have stopped him!
M_M: Where’s the part where I should care?
Ant: Right about now-
M_M: Put the gun down.
Ant: *feebly* Yes sir.
Scene 5
*M_M is walking in the streets when a crowd forms somewhere. He goes there, and sees uncle Goatboy lying on the floor, wet. He sees Armitage Shanks running off, puts on his Monkey hat and chases him. They somehow end up on the top of a tall building.*
Armitage Shanks: Don’t touch me – I’ll shoot you!
M_M: It’s Water.
Armitage: Ah. AAAAHHH! *falls off building. M_M goes back to Goatboy.*
Goatboy: Avenge my death.
M_M: Done that.
Goatboy: I see. Well, remember this: With great power, comes lots of Gads.
M_M: Cool. *Goatboy dies.*
Scene 6
*Stryke and Mr. Happy are pacing around in their laboratory.*
Stryke: I can’t believe SR shut down our top-secret drug that would make humans stronger!
Mr. Happy: You mean the steroids? Erm, Stryke, those have been illegal for decades. Let’s go watch an obscure film no-one’s heard of.
Stryke: And they wouldn’t let us use them!
*Mr. Happy sighs.*
Stryke: Wait! I know! We’ll use them on me to test what happens with them!
Mr. Happy: I already know what happens when-
Stryke: Silence! *He takes the steroids. He feels cool.*
Mr. Happy: I hate this life. *Happy takes another illegal drug that kills him.*
Scene 7
*Graduation at M_M’s school. Mystique and Tiltawhirl have split up. Stryke comes in to pick up Mojojojo, who is chatting with M_M.*
Stryke: Well done, both of you. I remember when I was your age…
Mojojojo: Dad, we’re older than you.
Stryke: Then how can I be your Dad?
Mojojojo: It’s a spoof, it doesn’t have to make sense.
Stryke: Fair Enough.
*M_M walks over to Mystique.*
M_M: So, what are you gonna do, now that school’s over?
Mystique: I’m gonna try and become an actress.
M_M: Cool! You were great in all the school plays!
Mystique: I wasn’t in any of the school plays.
M_M: Oh… Then, why do you wanna be an actress?
Mystique: It requires no talent, and I get to sleep with loads of celebs and nick their wallets.
M_M: Right… Well I’m gonna continue doing my computer drawings an-
Mystique: And carry on being a geek. I’ve gotta go, Mojojojojojojojojojojojojo says he’ll pay me if I go out with him tonight.
Scene 8
*Myst and Mojo are in a restaurant together*
Mojo: You look so beautiful….
Mystique: Just order the most expensive thing on the menu NOW!
Sniper: Muahaha! I am the evil Sniper, and my txt talk will kill you all!
Mystique: How come you’re not txt talking now?
Sniper: Er…. soz?
Mystique: AAAGH!
*Several receive heart attacks, as Sniper flies off*
Stryke: Wow! I didn’t know I could fly when pretending to be Sniper! Now to terrorise Snuggly!
*Upwire, somewhere in Essex*
M_M: Why won’t you use my pictures of Monkey_Man?
Snuggly: Because you drew them on a computer. And we do news for games, not peculiar mammals.
*Sniper appears*
Sniper: Aha! I will defeat you Snuggly, for all the times you… I mean….. soz!
Snuggly: AGGGGH!
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you!
*Sniper and Monkey_Man fight in the air, as, for some reason, they can fly. It is tedious*
Monkey_Man: Man, this is tedious.
Sniper: Yes. Very tedious.
Monkey_Man: How about we skip to scene 3,128, where you, as Stryke, know I’m M_M, and decide to kill Mystique because she stole your wallet, and I fancy her?
Sniper/Stryke: Suits me.
Scene 3,128
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you Mystique!
*Monkey_Man sticks a branch in Sniper’s ace, which means he now sees him as Stryke.*
Monkey_Man: You’re Stryke! I can’t kill you…. They’ll be an angry mob after me!
Stryke: Actually, I’m about to die…. Avenge my death…..
Monkey_Man: But I just killed you.
Stryke: Fair enough….. *He drops down dead, and Mojo suddenly appears*
Mojo: Nooooo! He funded my spoofs! I’ll kill you Monkey_Man!
Scene 3,129
*Stryke’s funeral*
M_M: I’m sorry about what happened, Mojo.
Mojojojo: I’m gonna kill that mutated monkey! And then, I’ll steal all his drawings and become a rich billionaire! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*M_M goes to talk to Mystique*
M_M: Listen, Myst, I need to tell you something.
Mystique: You fancy me? Yeah I already knew.
M_M: Eh? How?
Mystique: Everyone on the forums knows!
M_M: Well, er, will you go out with me?
Mystique: If you pay me 50 Gads, sure.
M_M: You’re on!
THE END
------------
You may have noticed I kinda ran out of ideas in the middle of that....
Allardini
*Some tree branches with monkeys crawling on them are shown.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: The spoof I am about to tell you isn’t a pretty one *studio audience laugh*. Hey! That’s not funny! Why I oughta…. But, like many spoofs, it all revolves around a girl. Mystique. The most beautiful girl in the world. The girl I’ve loved all my life. But partly because she’s the only girl on SR, just like in many other spoofs.
*School bus. We see Mystique sitting with boyfriend Tiltawhirl.*
Monkey_man Voice Over: I wish I could tell you that was me.
*In front of them sits Asher D, eating a muffin while chatting with his cronies.*
Monkey_man Voice over: I’d take him, too. As in I’d kill him. But, unfortunately, that’s me.
*We see m_m running along side the bus with his glasses falling off as the children and driver, Rakuga, laugh at him*
M_M: Stop the bus! Stop laughing at me!
Mystique: Come on, Rakuga, stop the bus!
Rakuga: Wait, you’re popular but defending the geek, that doesn’t make sense!
Mystique: Of course not, it’s a spoof! We’ve gotta sell me to the audience as a nice girl!
Rakuga: Eh?
Mystique: It’s one of them spoof typical things, in the same way that our conversation is a spoof-typical thing as we’re discussing spoof-typical things and the discussers are a spoof-writer and a person who stars in lot of spoofs!
Rakuga: Ya what?
Mystique: Just stop the damn bus!
Scene 2
*The kids are in a research lab where monkeys are screaming everywhere, being led by Your Honour. M_M and best friend Mojojojo are standing next to each other after Mojo’s Dad, Stryke, totally embarrassed him.*
Your Honour: This here is the biologically created News Monkey, which will be used for research in Upwire in a few months.
*Applause.*
Mojojojo: I swear, m_m, that Dad of mine wishes that you were his son, not me.
M_M: It’s ‘cause I know such much about monkeys. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mojojojo: Erm, yeah… Hey, look there, it’s Mystique. You should go talk to her.
M_M: Nah, I can’t. She’ll punch me.
Mojojojo: Then I will.
*Mojojojo walks over to Mystique who is looking at some cages.*
Mystique: Aw, they’re so cute!
Mojojojo: Yeah, they’re great…
Mystique: Nah, actually, they suck.
Mojojojo: Oh, erm, yeah, they suck. Did you know that they like Coen Brothers movies?
Mystique: I said they suck! *Mystique hits Mojojojo.*
M_M: Told ya so….
Your Honour: Shut up. Over here you can see we are working on 500 new types of biologically created monkeys.
Mystique: Actually, there’s only two here. It says they’re called “Paralysed Monkey” and “In need of Panadol monkey.”
Your Honour: Well, they are probably having research done on them now.
Mystique: Actually they’re up on the ceiling, doing something tat looks kinda grosse…
Your Honour: Shut up.
*The group moves on*
M_M: Mystique, wait! Can I draw you?
Mystique: Draw me? You perv!
M_M: Please, it’s for the, er, school newspaper!
Mystique: We live in Essex. Schools don’t have newspapers. Ah, what the hey, draw away. But don’t make my boobs looks small.
M_M: That could never happen!
*M_M is drawing away when a bio-monkey attacks him and starts strangling him.*
M_M: Somebody help me!
Scene 3
*M_M waves to aunt and Uncle Rosalind and Goatboy and jumps into bed, exhausted. He wakes up next morning, puts on his glasses and finds he sees better without them.*
M_M: Woah.
*M_M then looks at himself in the mirror.*
M_M: Wait a sec. Body Hair. Deeper Voice. Could it be? Yes! Puberty! Woohoo! And they said it DIDN’T happen overnight!
*M_M rushes downstairs.*
M_M: Hey Auntie Ros, yo uncle Goaty!
Goaty: Hey there. Don’t forget to come and kick the neighbour’s dog after school with me!
M_M: I’ll be there!
*M_M is in the canteen on his own at school, eating his lunch. He looks up. Suddenly, he notices a tree branch is sticking out of his wrist, and has attached itself to a tray in front of him. He tries to swing it back and it hits Tiltawhirl’s head, pouring baked beans all over him.*
Tiltawhirl: You won’t get away with this, M_M!
*M_M pokes the tree branch at Tilty.*
Tiltawhirl: Ow…
M_M: I know branch-fu. Ba-dum-cha!
*Some guys start attacking him. He runs away, poking tree branches where necessary, into a side street. He looks at his fingers, sees he can climb up walls, and starts practising his many new abilities…*
Scene 4
*M_M is looking through a magazine when he notices an advert.
SRW ECLIPSE: SPECIAL EDITION – DEFEAT THE CONG MAN AND WIN 50 GADS.
A smile comes to M_M’s face.*
*M_M’s house a few mornings later*
Goatboy: Wait, M_M, where are you going?
M_M: The library. To, er, read.
Goatboy: Let me give you a lift, there’s something I need to talk to you about…
M_M: It’s called puberty, you idiot!
*M_M runs off.*
*The Cong Man is fighting Hawk in the SRW arena. He nails the diving headbutt and wins, making the crowd go wild in excitement.*
Ice Blaster: “Can anyone stop the mighty Cong Man? Well, it looks like we have one last challenger to try and win 50 GADS.” Hey, kid, what’s your name again?
M_M: The human monkey.
Ice Blaster: *sighs* Why do I always come up with the names? “Ladies and Gentleman, the one and only, Monkey_Man!”
Monkey_Man: *We see him in a rubbish costume consisting of a hat with a monkey on it* He got my name wrong! Aaaahhhh!
*Monkey_Man runs around with a branch sticking out of his wrist, knocks over Cong Man. The crowd love him.*
*Later, in a backstage office, M_M is standing in front of Ant, who’s counting out Gads.*
Ant: 1, 2, and 3. Here ya go.
M_M: Wait, the ad said 50!
Ant: That’s if you beat him. You just shoved wood in his face.
M_M: But-
Ant: Where’s the part where I should care?
Armitage Shanks: Now you moron! *Armitage is holding a Super Soaker to Ant’s head.*
Ant: No! Not water! Here, take the Gads!
Armitage Shanks: Now pb shall be defeated! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*Armitage runs off.*
Ant: You fool! You could have stopped him!
M_M: Where’s the part where I should care?
Ant: Right about now-
M_M: Put the gun down.
Ant: *feebly* Yes sir.
Scene 5
*M_M is walking in the streets when a crowd forms somewhere. He goes there, and sees uncle Goatboy lying on the floor, wet. He sees Armitage Shanks running off, puts on his Monkey hat and chases him. They somehow end up on the top of a tall building.*
Armitage Shanks: Don’t touch me – I’ll shoot you!
M_M: It’s Water.
Armitage: Ah. AAAAHHH! *falls off building. M_M goes back to Goatboy.*
Goatboy: Avenge my death.
M_M: Done that.
Goatboy: I see. Well, remember this: With great power, comes lots of Gads.
M_M: Cool. *Goatboy dies.*
Scene 6
*Stryke and Mr. Happy are pacing around in their laboratory.*
Stryke: I can’t believe SR shut down our top-secret drug that would make humans stronger!
Mr. Happy: You mean the steroids? Erm, Stryke, those have been illegal for decades. Let’s go watch an obscure film no-one’s heard of.
Stryke: And they wouldn’t let us use them!
*Mr. Happy sighs.*
Stryke: Wait! I know! We’ll use them on me to test what happens with them!
Mr. Happy: I already know what happens when-
Stryke: Silence! *He takes the steroids. He feels cool.*
Mr. Happy: I hate this life. *Happy takes another illegal drug that kills him.*
Scene 7
*Graduation at M_M’s school. Mystique and Tiltawhirl have split up. Stryke comes in to pick up Mojojojo, who is chatting with M_M.*
Stryke: Well done, both of you. I remember when I was your age…
Mojojojo: Dad, we’re older than you.
Stryke: Then how can I be your Dad?
Mojojojo: It’s a spoof, it doesn’t have to make sense.
Stryke: Fair Enough.
*M_M walks over to Mystique.*
M_M: So, what are you gonna do, now that school’s over?
Mystique: I’m gonna try and become an actress.
M_M: Cool! You were great in all the school plays!
Mystique: I wasn’t in any of the school plays.
M_M: Oh… Then, why do you wanna be an actress?
Mystique: It requires no talent, and I get to sleep with loads of celebs and nick their wallets.
M_M: Right… Well I’m gonna continue doing my computer drawings an-
Mystique: And carry on being a geek. I’ve gotta go, Mojojojojojojojojojojojojo says he’ll pay me if I go out with him tonight.
Scene 8
*Myst and Mojo are in a restaurant together*
Mojo: You look so beautiful….
Mystique: Just order the most expensive thing on the menu NOW!
Sniper: Muahaha! I am the evil Sniper, and my txt talk will kill you all!
Mystique: How come you’re not txt talking now?
Sniper: Er…. soz?
Mystique: AAAGH!
*Several receive heart attacks, as Sniper flies off*
Stryke: Wow! I didn’t know I could fly when pretending to be Sniper! Now to terrorise Snuggly!
*Upwire, somewhere in Essex*
M_M: Why won’t you use my pictures of Monkey_Man?
Snuggly: Because you drew them on a computer. And we do news for games, not peculiar mammals.
*Sniper appears*
Sniper: Aha! I will defeat you Snuggly, for all the times you… I mean….. soz!
Snuggly: AGGGGH!
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you!
*Sniper and Monkey_Man fight in the air, as, for some reason, they can fly. It is tedious*
Monkey_Man: Man, this is tedious.
Sniper: Yes. Very tedious.
Monkey_Man: How about we skip to scene 3,128, where you, as Stryke, know I’m M_M, and decide to kill Mystique because she stole your wallet, and I fancy her?
Sniper/Stryke: Suits me.
Scene 3,128
Monkey_Man: I’ll save you Mystique!
*Monkey_Man sticks a branch in Sniper’s ace, which means he now sees him as Stryke.*
Monkey_Man: You’re Stryke! I can’t kill you…. They’ll be an angry mob after me!
Stryke: Actually, I’m about to die…. Avenge my death…..
Monkey_Man: But I just killed you.
Stryke: Fair enough….. *He drops down dead, and Mojo suddenly appears*
Mojo: Nooooo! He funded my spoofs! I’ll kill you Monkey_Man!
Scene 3,129
*Stryke’s funeral*
M_M: I’m sorry about what happened, Mojo.
Mojojojo: I’m gonna kill that mutated monkey! And then, I’ll steal all his drawings and become a rich billionaire! MUAHAHAHAHA!
*M_M goes to talk to Mystique*
M_M: Listen, Myst, I need to tell you something.
Mystique: You fancy me? Yeah I already knew.
M_M: Eh? How?
Mystique: Everyone on the forums knows!
M_M: Well, er, will you go out with me?
Mystique: If you pay me 50 Gads, sure.
M_M: You’re on!
THE END
------------
You may have noticed I kinda ran out of ideas in the middle of that....
Allardini