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I’d like to put a few of the so-called experts straight about things so here goes.
Solar power
Does anyone seriously think that this is a good idea? You see, people haven’t thought it through properly: what happens when the Sun runs out? They can’t answer that. I’ll tell you what happens: we realise that the solar powered torches we use are useless, especially when we are digging around in the dark for lumps of coal, which if I am not mistaken is a dark-black sort of colour, hard to find under these circumstances, don’t you think? Also why do people fear existing technology so much? At work, we have never had anyone complain about the Plutonium water heater in the tea-room. As long as you limit yourself to one cup of tea or coffee a day, the risk of anything serious happening to you, is actually very slightly less than the inherent risk of flying in a Space shuttle or driving a Formula One car. Two cups would melt your liver and kidneys though.
Tidal power
Another humdinger of an idea. We build giant hydroelectric generators at enormous cost, which rely on the power of the tides to produce electricity. Fine. So what happens if one day we wake up and the Moon has been hijacked by mentalists? They could hold the whole world to ransom. Personally I think people have been planning to do so for years. You know all those planes that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle, they’ve have had their engines stripped and they will soon be used by mentalists on the Dark side of the Moon to drive it away.
Wind power
Yeah right, I laugh at the notion those poncy white windmills could be used to produce energy. I reckon that they are just an excuse for the Government to grind GM crops in, without anyone getting suspicious. A mate in the know has informed me that the Government has successfully spliced the genes of Kellogs Frosties with those of Rabbits. In future people will be able to buy two packets of Frosties, leave them in the same cupboard overnight and in the morning there should be enough new packets of cereal to last out the year.
Rainforests
People who say that we should save the rainforest should save their money to buy chainsaws and go and do us all a favour. Surely the space reclaimed by cutting down these forests would be better served by building more Zoos (to conserve threatened species-especially forest dwellers who are particularly under threat) and Circuses: in which animals can earn their way, rather than simply lolling around all day eating grass (which doesn’t grow on trees you know!) and doing their doings in public places such as Safari parks.
Biodiversity
The basic premise of this is: ensuring that we have more of each type of species roaming the planet. I’d love to see more monkeys, merekats and happy donkeys but cannot be anything but perturbed about Greenpeace’s suggestion that “every home should have a hornets nest in the living room”. Do we really want more wasps, snakes, scorpions and ants living in our gardens? Imagine the uproar when the Daily Mail discovers that some species of ant can carry objects three hundred times their own body weight. Schools could be nicked by flock of Ants, would be the emphatic headline sending chilling shockwaves throughout the country the very next morning
The colour Green
Why do environmental campaigns always get associated with the colour Green? Bogeys are green and no one wants to save them do they? Well apart from that snotty retard kid you sat next to in school, who kept his lunch stuck firmly underneath his desk. The army wears green and it shoots people, snooker tables are laden with green cloth and it is without doubt one of the most boring cue-based sport in the world, people go green with envy which is a sin and finally sprouts are green, enough said really.
Solar power
Does anyone seriously think that this is a good idea? You see, people haven’t thought it through properly: what happens when the Sun runs out? They can’t answer that. I’ll tell you what happens: we realise that the solar powered torches we use are useless, especially when we are digging around in the dark for lumps of coal, which if I am not mistaken is a dark-black sort of colour, hard to find under these circumstances, don’t you think? Also why do people fear existing technology so much? At work, we have never had anyone complain about the Plutonium water heater in the tea-room. As long as you limit yourself to one cup of tea or coffee a day, the risk of anything serious happening to you, is actually very slightly less than the inherent risk of flying in a Space shuttle or driving a Formula One car. Two cups would melt your liver and kidneys though.
Tidal power
Another humdinger of an idea. We build giant hydroelectric generators at enormous cost, which rely on the power of the tides to produce electricity. Fine. So what happens if one day we wake up and the Moon has been hijacked by mentalists? They could hold the whole world to ransom. Personally I think people have been planning to do so for years. You know all those planes that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle, they’ve have had their engines stripped and they will soon be used by mentalists on the Dark side of the Moon to drive it away.
Wind power
Yeah right, I laugh at the notion those poncy white windmills could be used to produce energy. I reckon that they are just an excuse for the Government to grind GM crops in, without anyone getting suspicious. A mate in the know has informed me that the Government has successfully spliced the genes of Kellogs Frosties with those of Rabbits. In future people will be able to buy two packets of Frosties, leave them in the same cupboard overnight and in the morning there should be enough new packets of cereal to last out the year.
Rainforests
People who say that we should save the rainforest should save their money to buy chainsaws and go and do us all a favour. Surely the space reclaimed by cutting down these forests would be better served by building more Zoos (to conserve threatened species-especially forest dwellers who are particularly under threat) and Circuses: in which animals can earn their way, rather than simply lolling around all day eating grass (which doesn’t grow on trees you know!) and doing their doings in public places such as Safari parks.
Biodiversity
The basic premise of this is: ensuring that we have more of each type of species roaming the planet. I’d love to see more monkeys, merekats and happy donkeys but cannot be anything but perturbed about Greenpeace’s suggestion that “every home should have a hornets nest in the living room”. Do we really want more wasps, snakes, scorpions and ants living in our gardens? Imagine the uproar when the Daily Mail discovers that some species of ant can carry objects three hundred times their own body weight. Schools could be nicked by flock of Ants, would be the emphatic headline sending chilling shockwaves throughout the country the very next morning
The colour Green
Why do environmental campaigns always get associated with the colour Green? Bogeys are green and no one wants to save them do they? Well apart from that snotty retard kid you sat next to in school, who kept his lunch stuck firmly underneath his desk. The army wears green and it shoots people, snooker tables are laden with green cloth and it is without doubt one of the most boring cue-based sport in the world, people go green with envy which is a sin and finally sprouts are green, enough said really.
I’d like to put a few of the so-called experts straight about things so here goes.
Solar power
Does anyone seriously think that this is a good idea? You see, people haven’t thought it through properly: what happens when the Sun runs out? They can’t answer that. I’ll tell you what happens: we realise that the solar powered torches we use are useless, especially when we are digging around in the dark for lumps of coal, which if I am not mistaken is a dark-black sort of colour, hard to find under these circumstances, don’t you think? Also why do people fear existing technology so much? At work, we have never had anyone complain about the Plutonium water heater in the tea-room. As long as you limit yourself to one cup of tea or coffee a day, the risk of anything serious happening to you, is actually very slightly less than the inherent risk of flying in a Space shuttle or driving a Formula One car. Two cups would melt your liver and kidneys though.
Tidal power
Another humdinger of an idea. We build giant hydroelectric generators at enormous cost, which rely on the power of the tides to produce electricity. Fine. So what happens if one day we wake up and the Moon has been hijacked by mentalists? They could hold the whole world to ransom. Personally I think people have been planning to do so for years. You know all those planes that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle, they’ve have had their engines stripped and they will soon be used by mentalists on the Dark side of the Moon to drive it away.
Wind power
Yeah right, I laugh at the notion those poncy white windmills could be used to produce energy. I reckon that they are just an excuse for the Government to grind GM crops in, without anyone getting suspicious. A mate in the know has informed me that the Government has successfully spliced the genes of Kellogs Frosties with those of Rabbits. In future people will be able to buy two packets of Frosties, leave them in the same cupboard overnight and in the morning there should be enough new packets of cereal to last out the year.
Rainforests
People who say that we should save the rainforest should save their money to buy chainsaws and go and do us all a favour. Surely the space reclaimed by cutting down these forests would be better served by building more Zoos (to conserve threatened species-especially forest dwellers who are particularly under threat) and Circuses: in which animals can earn their way, rather than simply lolling around all day eating grass (which doesn’t grow on trees you know!) and doing their doings in public places such as Safari parks.
Biodiversity
The basic premise of this is: ensuring that we have more of each type of species roaming the planet. I’d love to see more monkeys, merekats and happy donkeys but cannot be anything but perturbed about Greenpeace’s suggestion that “every home should have a hornets nest in the living room”. Do we really want more wasps, snakes, scorpions and ants living in our gardens? Imagine the uproar when the Daily Mail discovers that some species of ant can carry objects three hundred times their own body weight. Schools could be nicked by flock of Ants, would be the emphatic headline sending chilling shockwaves throughout the country the very next morning
The colour Green
Why do environmental campaigns always get associated with the colour Green? Bogeys are green and no one wants to save them do they? Well apart from that snotty retard kid you sat next to in school, who kept his lunch stuck firmly underneath his desk. The army wears green and it shoots people, snooker tables are laden with green cloth and it is without doubt one of the most boring cue-based sport in the world, people go green with envy which is a sin and finally sprouts are green, enough said really.
Solar power
Does anyone seriously think that this is a good idea? You see, people haven’t thought it through properly: what happens when the Sun runs out? They can’t answer that. I’ll tell you what happens: we realise that the solar powered torches we use are useless, especially when we are digging around in the dark for lumps of coal, which if I am not mistaken is a dark-black sort of colour, hard to find under these circumstances, don’t you think? Also why do people fear existing technology so much? At work, we have never had anyone complain about the Plutonium water heater in the tea-room. As long as you limit yourself to one cup of tea or coffee a day, the risk of anything serious happening to you, is actually very slightly less than the inherent risk of flying in a Space shuttle or driving a Formula One car. Two cups would melt your liver and kidneys though.
Tidal power
Another humdinger of an idea. We build giant hydroelectric generators at enormous cost, which rely on the power of the tides to produce electricity. Fine. So what happens if one day we wake up and the Moon has been hijacked by mentalists? They could hold the whole world to ransom. Personally I think people have been planning to do so for years. You know all those planes that went missing in the Bermuda Triangle, they’ve have had their engines stripped and they will soon be used by mentalists on the Dark side of the Moon to drive it away.
Wind power
Yeah right, I laugh at the notion those poncy white windmills could be used to produce energy. I reckon that they are just an excuse for the Government to grind GM crops in, without anyone getting suspicious. A mate in the know has informed me that the Government has successfully spliced the genes of Kellogs Frosties with those of Rabbits. In future people will be able to buy two packets of Frosties, leave them in the same cupboard overnight and in the morning there should be enough new packets of cereal to last out the year.
Rainforests
People who say that we should save the rainforest should save their money to buy chainsaws and go and do us all a favour. Surely the space reclaimed by cutting down these forests would be better served by building more Zoos (to conserve threatened species-especially forest dwellers who are particularly under threat) and Circuses: in which animals can earn their way, rather than simply lolling around all day eating grass (which doesn’t grow on trees you know!) and doing their doings in public places such as Safari parks.
Biodiversity
The basic premise of this is: ensuring that we have more of each type of species roaming the planet. I’d love to see more monkeys, merekats and happy donkeys but cannot be anything but perturbed about Greenpeace’s suggestion that “every home should have a hornets nest in the living room”. Do we really want more wasps, snakes, scorpions and ants living in our gardens? Imagine the uproar when the Daily Mail discovers that some species of ant can carry objects three hundred times their own body weight. Schools could be nicked by flock of Ants, would be the emphatic headline sending chilling shockwaves throughout the country the very next morning
The colour Green
Why do environmental campaigns always get associated with the colour Green? Bogeys are green and no one wants to save them do they? Well apart from that snotty retard kid you sat next to in school, who kept his lunch stuck firmly underneath his desk. The army wears green and it shoots people, snooker tables are laden with green cloth and it is without doubt one of the most boring cue-based sport in the world, people go green with envy which is a sin and finally sprouts are green, enough said really.
Yeah, and what about those idiots who think that the environment is there to be saved. I mean, what fools do they take us for? We own this planet! We owe it nothing, it only provides us with the resources which allow us to live! No-one should take care of this planet, instead we should all get in bed with George 'Dubya', and drain this planet of everything useful to us WONDERFUL humans. Now, please excuse me while I go shoot down those flying pigs...
What the hell are you on about? Some points I agree with but then you back it up with something that doesn't make any sense? And you have a plutonium tea maker!? OH GOD.
:-)
:-)
Just used water from heater on my Ready Brekk. The advert was right, I am glowing. The light within shines so brightly but the candle burns so quickly.
I feel ill.
Burning inside.
Pain.
Feel dizzy.
Stumble.
Grab hold of heater to steady myself.
Notice sticker is peeling.
Peel of sticker in one final, contemptuous act of rebellion.
Underneath it says : Caution water may be hot.
Sticker was a joke all along.
The heater is not powered by plutonium after all.
No it's heated by depleted uranium shells left over from the Gulf war.
Now where is that sugar?
I feel ill.
Burning inside.
Pain.
Feel dizzy.
Stumble.
Grab hold of heater to steady myself.
Notice sticker is peeling.
Peel of sticker in one final, contemptuous act of rebellion.
Underneath it says : Caution water may be hot.
Sticker was a joke all along.
The heater is not powered by plutonium after all.
No it's heated by depleted uranium shells left over from the Gulf war.
Now where is that sugar?
Not to do with the topic, but I admire you 'The sagacious one'. 2 major gameaday wins in three days is a good sign... :).
Ah it's nice to be appreciated.