The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
This is a rant that isn’t to be taken too seriously…
If I had parents who were willing to help me out, school could have been bearable. I would have avoided all the tedious bits and got something out of it. Here’s how and why:
Assemblies: So very boring. Stop talking at me Mr Headteacher, you so boring you could drill a second channel tunnel all by yourself. If only my parents had said that I wasn’t allowed to take undertake any Religious worship in any form. Assemblies have hymns in them that excludes me from your interesting rantings, thank you very much Mr Headman. Even if they aren’t scheduled someone might shout out something religious by accident, can’t take the risk sorry.
Art: I had zero talent at art. My shading ranged from “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-black” to “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-through paper and onto table-black”. Why didn’t my teacher encourage me to develop my blatant lack of talent and guide me towards a career in modern art? We all know how Tracy Eimen got started- no artistic talent, so anyone with arty pretensions in this scenario needs to create art “with meaning”. Can’t paint, why not claim that an unmade bed is art. I could have done the same.
Careers advice: Why didn’t they tell us the truth. Some people get lucky and do a job they love, the rest don’t and spend their whole working life obsessed with how much they are getting paid and waiting for their holidays. Why didn’t they advise me to forget the silly talk about being a Fighter Pilot (the women actually asked me what skills I thought I’d need to be one-she should have just slapped me for my own good- I was talking about reflexes and then ability to remain calm under pressure). They should have said: Most jobs are boring why not get one that will pay well, so when you aren’t working you have enough money to enjoy yourself. IT, accountancy, law and banking go for these types of jobs Iceberg (I already had my nickname sorted for my RAF career).
Games: I was always good a sport. Why didn’t they stop me from playing badminton, basketball (I’m 5”10”-am I going to the NBA yet?) and volleyball, and make me play tennis all the time. Even if I turned out to be rubbish I reckon I would still be ranked in Britains top five. I’d live for my first round humiliation at Wimbledon each year.
RE: I always wondered why a school would go out of their way to teach you stuff, which you were supposed to believe was true, then send you into a lesson in which the teacher lied with every word. I can’t go straight from a Physics lesson and then listen to this? Again my parents could have got me out of these lessons. It’s not that I don’t respect people’s religions (and cultures) or that I don’t possess my own views but you can’t even ask a RE teacher (or humanities-whatever they are called) if they believe in God, as they are not allowed to answer.
Specialisation: If only I could have got out of geography, history, RE etc and done more Maths. I hated Maths but I would have become really good at Maths. Then when I was a merchant banker (average earnings in London £650,000 pa-evening standard 2002) I could learn all about Geography when I was taking my fifthteenth holiday of the year to somewhere exotic.
And just think of the potential laws suits i could have instigated if the teachers had done any of the above...
If I had parents who were willing to help me out, school could have been bearable. I would have avoided all the tedious bits and got something out of it. Here’s how and why:
Assemblies: So very boring. Stop talking at me Mr Headteacher, you so boring you could drill a second channel tunnel all by yourself. If only my parents had said that I wasn’t allowed to take undertake any Religious worship in any form. Assemblies have hymns in them that excludes me from your interesting rantings, thank you very much Mr Headman. Even if they aren’t scheduled someone might shout out something religious by accident, can’t take the risk sorry.
Art: I had zero talent at art. My shading ranged from “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-black” to “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-through paper and onto table-black”. Why didn’t my teacher encourage me to develop my blatant lack of talent and guide me towards a career in modern art? We all know how Tracy Eimen got started- no artistic talent, so anyone with arty pretensions in this scenario needs to create art “with meaning”. Can’t paint, why not claim that an unmade bed is art. I could have done the same.
Careers advice: Why didn’t they tell us the truth. Some people get lucky and do a job they love, the rest don’t and spend their whole working life obsessed with how much they are getting paid and waiting for their holidays. Why didn’t they advise me to forget the silly talk about being a Fighter Pilot (the women actually asked me what skills I thought I’d need to be one-she should have just slapped me for my own good- I was talking about reflexes and then ability to remain calm under pressure). They should have said: Most jobs are boring why not get one that will pay well, so when you aren’t working you have enough money to enjoy yourself. IT, accountancy, law and banking go for these types of jobs Iceberg (I already had my nickname sorted for my RAF career).
Games: I was always good a sport. Why didn’t they stop me from playing badminton, basketball (I’m 5”10”-am I going to the NBA yet?) and volleyball, and make me play tennis all the time. Even if I turned out to be rubbish I reckon I would still be ranked in Britains top five. I’d live for my first round humiliation at Wimbledon each year.
RE: I always wondered why a school would go out of their way to teach you stuff, which you were supposed to believe was true, then send you into a lesson in which the teacher lied with every word. I can’t go straight from a Physics lesson and then listen to this? Again my parents could have got me out of these lessons. It’s not that I don’t respect people’s religions (and cultures) or that I don’t possess my own views but you can’t even ask a RE teacher (or humanities-whatever they are called) if they believe in God, as they are not allowed to answer.
Specialisation: If only I could have got out of geography, history, RE etc and done more Maths. I hated Maths but I would have become really good at Maths. Then when I was a merchant banker (average earnings in London £650,000 pa-evening standard 2002) I could learn all about Geography when I was taking my fifthteenth holiday of the year to somewhere exotic.
And just think of the potential laws suits i could have instigated if the teachers had done any of the above...
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
This is a rant that isn’t to be taken too seriously…
If I had parents who were willing to help me out, school could have been bearable. I would have avoided all the tedious bits and got something out of it. Here’s how and why:
Assemblies: So very boring. Stop talking at me Mr Headteacher, you so boring you could drill a second channel tunnel all by yourself. If only my parents had said that I wasn’t allowed to take undertake any Religious worship in any form. Assemblies have hymns in them that excludes me from your interesting rantings, thank you very much Mr Headman. Even if they aren’t scheduled someone might shout out something religious by accident, can’t take the risk sorry.
Art: I had zero talent at art. My shading ranged from “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-black” to “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-through paper and onto table-black”. Why didn’t my teacher encourage me to develop my blatant lack of talent and guide me towards a career in modern art? We all know how Tracy Eimen got started- no artistic talent, so anyone with arty pretensions in this scenario needs to create art “with meaning”. Can’t paint, why not claim that an unmade bed is art. I could have done the same.
Careers advice: Why didn’t they tell us the truth. Some people get lucky and do a job they love, the rest don’t and spend their whole working life obsessed with how much they are getting paid and waiting for their holidays. Why didn’t they advise me to forget the silly talk about being a Fighter Pilot (the women actually asked me what skills I thought I’d need to be one-she should have just slapped me for my own good- I was talking about reflexes and then ability to remain calm under pressure). They should have said: Most jobs are boring why not get one that will pay well, so when you aren’t working you have enough money to enjoy yourself. IT, accountancy, law and banking go for these types of jobs Iceberg (I already had my nickname sorted for my RAF career).
Games: I was always good a sport. Why didn’t they stop me from playing badminton, basketball (I’m 5”10”-am I going to the NBA yet?) and volleyball, and make me play tennis all the time. Even if I turned out to be rubbish I reckon I would still be ranked in Britains top five. I’d live for my first round humiliation at Wimbledon each year.
RE: I always wondered why a school would go out of their way to teach you stuff, which you were supposed to believe was true, then send you into a lesson in which the teacher lied with every word. I can’t go straight from a Physics lesson and then listen to this? Again my parents could have got me out of these lessons. It’s not that I don’t respect people’s religions (and cultures) or that I don’t possess my own views but you can’t even ask a RE teacher (or humanities-whatever they are called) if they believe in God, as they are not allowed to answer.
Specialisation: If only I could have got out of geography, history, RE etc and done more Maths. I hated Maths but I would have become really good at Maths. Then when I was a merchant banker (average earnings in London £650,000 pa-evening standard 2002) I could learn all about Geography when I was taking my fifthteenth holiday of the year to somewhere exotic.
And just think of the potential laws suits i could have instigated if the teachers had done any of the above...
If I had parents who were willing to help me out, school could have been bearable. I would have avoided all the tedious bits and got something out of it. Here’s how and why:
Assemblies: So very boring. Stop talking at me Mr Headteacher, you so boring you could drill a second channel tunnel all by yourself. If only my parents had said that I wasn’t allowed to take undertake any Religious worship in any form. Assemblies have hymns in them that excludes me from your interesting rantings, thank you very much Mr Headman. Even if they aren’t scheduled someone might shout out something religious by accident, can’t take the risk sorry.
Art: I had zero talent at art. My shading ranged from “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-black” to “exerting a large amount of pressure with pencil onto paper-through paper and onto table-black”. Why didn’t my teacher encourage me to develop my blatant lack of talent and guide me towards a career in modern art? We all know how Tracy Eimen got started- no artistic talent, so anyone with arty pretensions in this scenario needs to create art “with meaning”. Can’t paint, why not claim that an unmade bed is art. I could have done the same.
Careers advice: Why didn’t they tell us the truth. Some people get lucky and do a job they love, the rest don’t and spend their whole working life obsessed with how much they are getting paid and waiting for their holidays. Why didn’t they advise me to forget the silly talk about being a Fighter Pilot (the women actually asked me what skills I thought I’d need to be one-she should have just slapped me for my own good- I was talking about reflexes and then ability to remain calm under pressure). They should have said: Most jobs are boring why not get one that will pay well, so when you aren’t working you have enough money to enjoy yourself. IT, accountancy, law and banking go for these types of jobs Iceberg (I already had my nickname sorted for my RAF career).
Games: I was always good a sport. Why didn’t they stop me from playing badminton, basketball (I’m 5”10”-am I going to the NBA yet?) and volleyball, and make me play tennis all the time. Even if I turned out to be rubbish I reckon I would still be ranked in Britains top five. I’d live for my first round humiliation at Wimbledon each year.
RE: I always wondered why a school would go out of their way to teach you stuff, which you were supposed to believe was true, then send you into a lesson in which the teacher lied with every word. I can’t go straight from a Physics lesson and then listen to this? Again my parents could have got me out of these lessons. It’s not that I don’t respect people’s religions (and cultures) or that I don’t possess my own views but you can’t even ask a RE teacher (or humanities-whatever they are called) if they believe in God, as they are not allowed to answer.
Specialisation: If only I could have got out of geography, history, RE etc and done more Maths. I hated Maths but I would have become really good at Maths. Then when I was a merchant banker (average earnings in London £650,000 pa-evening standard 2002) I could learn all about Geography when I was taking my fifthteenth holiday of the year to somewhere exotic.
And just think of the potential laws suits i could have instigated if the teachers had done any of the above...