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John Snow with his swingometer "Still 100%, hold on, 99.99%, no 100% again, sigh."
Paxman "John is it too early to predict a winner, with any real certainty?"
John "Jeremy, we do have a strong indication, from our Gallop poll carried out earlier, that Saddam could get 100% of the vote, though we must remind the viewers that this is subject to a 2% margin of error either way".
Paxman "How are the other candidates doing?"
John "Stable. Doctors say that they should make a full recovery in the fullness of time....intruigingly they were able to vote by proxy".
Paxman "Do you know who they voted for?"
John "Yes"
Paxman "Well tell me then, come on!"
John "I just told you, they voted yes".
Paxman to special guest "What are your opinions on this farcical election, if i can call it that".
Keith "What were the options again?"
Guard with moustache and gun "So, you voted?"
Voter with moustache "Yes"
Guard with moustache and gun "For Saddam?"
Voter with moustache "No"
Guard with moustache and gun "What?"
Voted with moustache "No. I mean yes I di-"
Gun goes off, man with moustache drops to the floor
The next Voter with moustache leaves the polling station
Guard with moustache and gun "So, you voted?"
> My local bookies had him at 10-1 to win, i knew i should have put a
> tenner on!
*laughs*
A hurried joke.
There's three blokes in the gulag. The first one says, 'What are you in here for?'. The second one says, 'I disagreed with Kornilov's Five Year Plan'. The third one says, 'I agreed with Kornilov's Five Year Plan. And you, why are you here?'. The first man replies, 'I am Kornilov'.
Ho ho! Those Russians, eh? No wonder they dominate the international comedy festivals.
> "you tick the yes box - you live - you tick the no box - we use
> you and your family to test our non-existant biological weapons
> on"
>
> Cynic - Moi ?
There's several videos and about 200 000 dead kurds that might dispute the biological weapons claim by the way....
~~Belldandy~~
Saddam: "Vote Yes if you agree with my proposal, its clearly stated on the form, to rule for another seven years or vote no, quite easy to read this for yourself you know, if you don't agree with this proposal."
Keith: "Er, Don't know".
:-D
If you say no we shoot you