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Whilst watching 'The Empire Strikes Back' the other day I couldn't help but notice just how magnificently shiny Darth Vader's helmet was.
But how does it get so shiny? Is there an imperial helmet polisher? How would you go about obtaining such a position?
Maybe you enlist into the imperial army, and rise through the ranks, from Stormtrooper to Tie-Fighter pilot moving on to becoming one of the Emperor's nifty red guards then finally... helmet polisher.
It certainly is a very important position after all. Imagine if Darth went out with a crusty helmet, how embarrassing could that be? As such you'd be in constant fear in such a job as the imperial helmet polisher. Knowing that Vader would kill you if any nasty remnants of last nights battles remained on his helmet when he went out would surely make such a job way too stressful.
But what other jobs are available out there in the Star Wars Universe?
Jedi Fashion Guru:
Back in the day when Jedi's were plentiful they were more than just keepers of the peace, they were looked up to, and as such comes great responsibility. Being a Jedi creates some complex situations. How should you use the power of the force, for your own gains, or for the good of the people? How do you avoid the pull of the dark side? Most importantly, what should you wear to look best in battle? That's where the Jedi fashion guru would come in to assist a troubled Jedi, and help him, her, or it, to decide exactly which shade of brown to wear, and which colour lightsabre would best bring out the colour off their eyes.
The biggest challenge in this job would be talking Anakin out of using that nasty red lightsabre, as it brings the worst out in him.
Cantina Cleaner:
Cleaning up a regular bar would be relatively trouble free. Mop up the spilt beer, sweep the floor for dropped ash, and a few lost pennies, wipe the stains from the mirrors in the loo, and on a bad day mop up some vomit. But in a Star Wars cantina, things would be much worse. Chances are that in your cleaning efforts you'd stumble across a severed arm or two. With any luck a Jedi would have done the damage with a lightsabre, and the severed part would be cauterised to some extent, so there wouldn't have been too much blood. But what if a blaster is fired from short range right into the gut of a bounty hunter? Chances are that there would be severe drippage, and possible fallout of internal organs.
Still, it wouldn't be all bad, some smugglers may feel guilty for making such a mess, and leave a large tip.
Tauntaun farmer:
Given the below freezing temperatures on Hoth, tauntauns make excellent reliable methods of transport. But where would you get a decent herd of tauntauns? Your friendly local tauntaun farmer, that's who! What a job this would be, forever working in the cold, putting up with the smell of the tauntauns, (which I'm informed is unpleasant, but they smell much worse on the inside) and dealing with predatory Wampa's out for a feast. Worse still, you'd be responsible for ensuring the continuation of the species, so you'd have to encourage them to breed, which surely can't be a pretty sight, or smell.
But how does it get so shiny? Is there an imperial helmet polisher? How would you go about obtaining such a position?
Maybe you enlist into the imperial army, and rise through the ranks, from Stormtrooper to Tie-Fighter pilot moving on to becoming one of the Emperor's nifty red guards then finally... helmet polisher.
It certainly is a very important position after all. Imagine if Darth went out with a crusty helmet, how embarrassing could that be? As such you'd be in constant fear in such a job as the imperial helmet polisher. Knowing that Vader would kill you if any nasty remnants of last nights battles remained on his helmet when he went out would surely make such a job way too stressful.
But what other jobs are available out there in the Star Wars Universe?
Jedi Fashion Guru:
Back in the day when Jedi's were plentiful they were more than just keepers of the peace, they were looked up to, and as such comes great responsibility. Being a Jedi creates some complex situations. How should you use the power of the force, for your own gains, or for the good of the people? How do you avoid the pull of the dark side? Most importantly, what should you wear to look best in battle? That's where the Jedi fashion guru would come in to assist a troubled Jedi, and help him, her, or it, to decide exactly which shade of brown to wear, and which colour lightsabre would best bring out the colour off their eyes.
The biggest challenge in this job would be talking Anakin out of using that nasty red lightsabre, as it brings the worst out in him.
Cantina Cleaner:
Cleaning up a regular bar would be relatively trouble free. Mop up the spilt beer, sweep the floor for dropped ash, and a few lost pennies, wipe the stains from the mirrors in the loo, and on a bad day mop up some vomit. But in a Star Wars cantina, things would be much worse. Chances are that in your cleaning efforts you'd stumble across a severed arm or two. With any luck a Jedi would have done the damage with a lightsabre, and the severed part would be cauterised to some extent, so there wouldn't have been too much blood. But what if a blaster is fired from short range right into the gut of a bounty hunter? Chances are that there would be severe drippage, and possible fallout of internal organs.
Still, it wouldn't be all bad, some smugglers may feel guilty for making such a mess, and leave a large tip.
Tauntaun farmer:
Given the below freezing temperatures on Hoth, tauntauns make excellent reliable methods of transport. But where would you get a decent herd of tauntauns? Your friendly local tauntaun farmer, that's who! What a job this would be, forever working in the cold, putting up with the smell of the tauntauns, (which I'm informed is unpleasant, but they smell much worse on the inside) and dealing with predatory Wampa's out for a feast. Worse still, you'd be responsible for ensuring the continuation of the species, so you'd have to encourage them to breed, which surely can't be a pretty sight, or smell.
I think what happens is: The prop men get some pledge, give it a skoosh and a bit of a rub.
Darth Vader does not poo.
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> I think he walks through a car wash
Do you think he goes for the five star wash and Blow dry ?
> I think he walks through a car wash
Do you think he goes for the five star wash and Blow dry ?
I've got such a dirty mind :S
I think he walks through a car wash
I really must get around to watching The Empire Strikes Back.
I taped it the night it was on and haven't watched it yet.
I shall witness the Well-Polished-Helmet-ness.
I taped it the night it was on and haven't watched it yet.
I shall witness the Well-Polished-Helmet-ness.
Ah, and Vader gets the nifty new blue bigger Star Destroyer in Empire Strikes Back. So if his helmet wasn't shiny in New Hope, then maybe his new ship came with a polisher?
Also, that machine that eats him only appeared in Empire. So that could come with built in helmet polisher. It does lower the helmet onto his head - perhaps after a damn good polishing automatic?
Also, that machine that eats him only appeared in Empire. So that could come with built in helmet polisher. It does lower the helmet onto his head - perhaps after a damn good polishing automatic?
Vader's helmet in A New Hope is really dull and unpolished.
I just remember noticing that when I watched it for the second time, I think.
I just remember noticing that when I watched it for the second time, I think.
Whilst watching 'The Empire Strikes Back' the other day I couldn't help but notice just how magnificently shiny Darth Vader's helmet was.
But how does it get so shiny? Is there an imperial helmet polisher? How would you go about obtaining such a position?
Maybe you enlist into the imperial army, and rise through the ranks, from Stormtrooper to Tie-Fighter pilot moving on to becoming one of the Emperor's nifty red guards then finally... helmet polisher.
It certainly is a very important position after all. Imagine if Darth went out with a crusty helmet, how embarrassing could that be? As such you'd be in constant fear in such a job as the imperial helmet polisher. Knowing that Vader would kill you if any nasty remnants of last nights battles remained on his helmet when he went out would surely make such a job way too stressful.
But what other jobs are available out there in the Star Wars Universe?
Jedi Fashion Guru:
Back in the day when Jedi's were plentiful they were more than just keepers of the peace, they were looked up to, and as such comes great responsibility. Being a Jedi creates some complex situations. How should you use the power of the force, for your own gains, or for the good of the people? How do you avoid the pull of the dark side? Most importantly, what should you wear to look best in battle? That's where the Jedi fashion guru would come in to assist a troubled Jedi, and help him, her, or it, to decide exactly which shade of brown to wear, and which colour lightsabre would best bring out the colour off their eyes.
The biggest challenge in this job would be talking Anakin out of using that nasty red lightsabre, as it brings the worst out in him.
Cantina Cleaner:
Cleaning up a regular bar would be relatively trouble free. Mop up the spilt beer, sweep the floor for dropped ash, and a few lost pennies, wipe the stains from the mirrors in the loo, and on a bad day mop up some vomit. But in a Star Wars cantina, things would be much worse. Chances are that in your cleaning efforts you'd stumble across a severed arm or two. With any luck a Jedi would have done the damage with a lightsabre, and the severed part would be cauterised to some extent, so there wouldn't have been too much blood. But what if a blaster is fired from short range right into the gut of a bounty hunter? Chances are that there would be severe drippage, and possible fallout of internal organs.
Still, it wouldn't be all bad, some smugglers may feel guilty for making such a mess, and leave a large tip.
Tauntaun farmer:
Given the below freezing temperatures on Hoth, tauntauns make excellent reliable methods of transport. But where would you get a decent herd of tauntauns? Your friendly local tauntaun farmer, that's who! What a job this would be, forever working in the cold, putting up with the smell of the tauntauns, (which I'm informed is unpleasant, but they smell much worse on the inside) and dealing with predatory Wampa's out for a feast. Worse still, you'd be responsible for ensuring the continuation of the species, so you'd have to encourage them to breed, which surely can't be a pretty sight, or smell.
But how does it get so shiny? Is there an imperial helmet polisher? How would you go about obtaining such a position?
Maybe you enlist into the imperial army, and rise through the ranks, from Stormtrooper to Tie-Fighter pilot moving on to becoming one of the Emperor's nifty red guards then finally... helmet polisher.
It certainly is a very important position after all. Imagine if Darth went out with a crusty helmet, how embarrassing could that be? As such you'd be in constant fear in such a job as the imperial helmet polisher. Knowing that Vader would kill you if any nasty remnants of last nights battles remained on his helmet when he went out would surely make such a job way too stressful.
But what other jobs are available out there in the Star Wars Universe?
Jedi Fashion Guru:
Back in the day when Jedi's were plentiful they were more than just keepers of the peace, they were looked up to, and as such comes great responsibility. Being a Jedi creates some complex situations. How should you use the power of the force, for your own gains, or for the good of the people? How do you avoid the pull of the dark side? Most importantly, what should you wear to look best in battle? That's where the Jedi fashion guru would come in to assist a troubled Jedi, and help him, her, or it, to decide exactly which shade of brown to wear, and which colour lightsabre would best bring out the colour off their eyes.
The biggest challenge in this job would be talking Anakin out of using that nasty red lightsabre, as it brings the worst out in him.
Cantina Cleaner:
Cleaning up a regular bar would be relatively trouble free. Mop up the spilt beer, sweep the floor for dropped ash, and a few lost pennies, wipe the stains from the mirrors in the loo, and on a bad day mop up some vomit. But in a Star Wars cantina, things would be much worse. Chances are that in your cleaning efforts you'd stumble across a severed arm or two. With any luck a Jedi would have done the damage with a lightsabre, and the severed part would be cauterised to some extent, so there wouldn't have been too much blood. But what if a blaster is fired from short range right into the gut of a bounty hunter? Chances are that there would be severe drippage, and possible fallout of internal organs.
Still, it wouldn't be all bad, some smugglers may feel guilty for making such a mess, and leave a large tip.
Tauntaun farmer:
Given the below freezing temperatures on Hoth, tauntauns make excellent reliable methods of transport. But where would you get a decent herd of tauntauns? Your friendly local tauntaun farmer, that's who! What a job this would be, forever working in the cold, putting up with the smell of the tauntauns, (which I'm informed is unpleasant, but they smell much worse on the inside) and dealing with predatory Wampa's out for a feast. Worse still, you'd be responsible for ensuring the continuation of the species, so you'd have to encourage them to breed, which surely can't be a pretty sight, or smell.