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"Funny quotes of the Week!!!"

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Thu 10/10/02 at 20:18
Regular
Posts: 787
Taken from Football365:-

* ``I'm gutted for Peter, but I'm an out-of-work manager and I'm happy to talk to anyone'' - David O'Leary may be a naive out-of-work manager, but he's certainly not subtle.

* "Manchester United are, without question, the most recognised team in Britain and I know that even Arsenal would admit that" - Alex Ferguson. Bit rattled are you, Mr Ferguson?

* "In the window of my local secondhand bookshop Edwina Currie's A Parliamentary Affair nestles next to Edward Pearce's The Quiet Rise of John Major" - AJ Terlettier, of Harleston, Norfolk, in a letter to The Guardian. Nope, it's got nowt to do with football but, hey, who cares?

* "I was really ill and kept being sick. I lost my sight and all feeling in the left-hand side of my body just disappeared" – Arsenal’s Freddie Ljungberg explains why he had to miss Wednesday’s Champions League game against Auxerre. Sounds a reasonable excuse to me.

* "We're only the side in the second division without a home win and if we carry on like this we'll be the only side in the country" - Notts County Bill Dearden. And, in fairness, you can't fault his logic.

* "I hope that common sense will prevail. I tell myself: where football is being played, no one will get shot" - Bernd Stange, a German who has decided to take on the job of coach of the Iraqi national team.

* "Madness of the year! German will coach the devils" - The reaction of German tabloid Bild.

* "Thursday does not excite the fans. It's a night for taking the missus out for a meal" - Graeme Souness on the "downgraded" UEFA Cup.

* ``We lost to a fluke goal but it couldn't have been scored by a nicer guy, I don't begrudge him that at all - he's a nice man'' - And then reveals he has a nice side after Jamie Redknapp scored the winner for Spurs at Ewood Park on Sunday.

* “There are days when you think about it more than others and I even find myself talking to my leg, saying ‘Please don’t let me down again’ – Jamie Redknapp, in The Daily Mirror, ‘admits that he is still scared by the mental scars of the three years on the sidelines with a knee injury’. After the admission that he talks to his leg, we’re saying that ‘mental’ is the operative word.

* "I was going to grounds, paying my own way in, putting on a big hat so no one would recognise me" - Gordon Strachan on how Brett Ormerod first came to his attention when he was an ‘out-of-work manager’ after being dismissed by Coventry.

* "Marian doesn't tackle people and he doesn't speak. He scores goals and runs around. That's it" - And takes issue with the first of the two yellow cards that resulted in Pahars being sent off against Man City.

* "If I have to work that hard for us to lose 2-0, then I don't think we are on the right track" - Man City keeper Peter Schmeichel spots that something isn't quite right after the defeat at Southampton.

* "You don't know what you're doing" - The travelling City fans give us all a clue as to where they think the problem could be when Kevin Keegan substitutes Shaun Wright-Philips.

* "Keegan's a tactical dunderhead. He thinks tactics are a brand of confectionary" - Unnamed 'thoroughly fed-up member of the Manchester media' in The Times. Use of the word 'dunderhead' should always be saluted.

* "I was going to say by getting as far away from football as possible but that's what we did in the first half out there. That's as far away from football as any team I've managed have ever been" - Keegan after being asked what he planned to do in the ten-day Premiership break.

* "The fans can send me some more masks. I would welcome that" - Fulham's Facundo 'Zorro' Silva who greeted his first goal in the Premiership by donning a mask in what was surely one of the most bizarre celebrations we've seen in the Premiership. And in case you were wondering, he keeps it down his sock.

* "Jason is a big threat - but not as big when he's got somebody dangling round his neck" - Gary Megson on the Andy O'Brien/Jason Roberts incident during WBA's match at Newcastle.

* "It's a Salano penalty. Gary Megson wasn't shouting at the referee then" - Uncle Bobby hits back.

* "I was back in the dressing room when I heard a kerfuffle. To be honest, you often hear a lot of noise during Old Firm games. By the time I got out it all appeared to have quietened down. Actually, I was quite glad about that, because I'm just a wee fella" - Celtic boss Martin O'Neill on the half-time Rangers v Celtic tunnel 'kerfuffle'.

* "Are you joking? Everyone at home knows about English footballers. What could I tell them? Watch out for Michael Owen? David Beckham usually takes the free-kicks?" - Middlesbrough's Szilard Nemeth, in The Observer, after it was suggested to the Slovakian that he 'might make use of his specialist knowledge of English footballers.' Magnificently, Szilard was more concerned that "I cannot find any Slovakian restaurants here".

* "If he could have scored from there I'm a Dutchman!" - Rotherham's Ronnie Moore after defender Chris Swailes was sent off by ref Graham Laws for bringing down Portsmouth's Svetoslav Todorov.

* "The referee said if he caught sight of them during the game, I'd have to take them off," - Pompey keeper Shaka Hislop explains why he (almost) ran the risk of performing a mid-match striptease after referee Laws objected to his non-matching white cycling shorts.

* “You'll never play here again" – Arsenal fans on Sunday as their team gave Sunderland a bit of a chasing. Just a shame about that Worthington Cup draw, eh?

* "One nil, in the second half" – The Sunderland fans’ response.

* "If they play us every week they have every chance" - Peter Reid on the possibility that Arsenal could beat Nottingham Forest's top-flight record of 42 consecutive games unbeaten. Just change 'us' to 'Sunderland' and the quote is still relevant.

* "I don't leave on the bench - Charlie leaves himself on the bench. He should have been going away with Scotland. But he isn't, and there are reasons for that" - Dundee United boss Alex Smith's remarkable 'explanation' after Charlie Miller began the 2-1 defeat at Hibs on Saturday on the bench. It's really not a shock that he was sacked on Monday, is it?

* "I thought Phil Stamp was magnificent" - Hearts boss Craig Levein inadvertently gives us another reason to think that Scottish football really is at its lowest ebb.

* "I was sitting one away from Sven-Goran Eriksson in our recent home game against Leeds and he turned to me and asked who David Thompson was. I said 'He's someone who could play for your team.' I know he was also at our game at West Brom" - Graeme Souness reveals the moment that David Thompson first caught Sven's eye.

* "We had a Slovakian au pair, so I might get the missus to ring her up and ask her about their national football team. I don't know much about their footballers but their au pairs are good" - David James on England's latest spy. I wonder if she'll have any problems catching Sven's eye?

* “I don’t pick the team – but if I did I’d play myself” – Danny Mills on his England chances. Memo to Gary Neville: Don’t worry, Sven’s still got the job. We think



Some good quotes there, especially the 2nd one.
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Thu 10/10/02 at 20:18
Regular
"Baros!!!"
Posts: 6,989
Taken from Football365:-

* ``I'm gutted for Peter, but I'm an out-of-work manager and I'm happy to talk to anyone'' - David O'Leary may be a naive out-of-work manager, but he's certainly not subtle.

* "Manchester United are, without question, the most recognised team in Britain and I know that even Arsenal would admit that" - Alex Ferguson. Bit rattled are you, Mr Ferguson?

* "In the window of my local secondhand bookshop Edwina Currie's A Parliamentary Affair nestles next to Edward Pearce's The Quiet Rise of John Major" - AJ Terlettier, of Harleston, Norfolk, in a letter to The Guardian. Nope, it's got nowt to do with football but, hey, who cares?

* "I was really ill and kept being sick. I lost my sight and all feeling in the left-hand side of my body just disappeared" – Arsenal’s Freddie Ljungberg explains why he had to miss Wednesday’s Champions League game against Auxerre. Sounds a reasonable excuse to me.

* "We're only the side in the second division without a home win and if we carry on like this we'll be the only side in the country" - Notts County Bill Dearden. And, in fairness, you can't fault his logic.

* "I hope that common sense will prevail. I tell myself: where football is being played, no one will get shot" - Bernd Stange, a German who has decided to take on the job of coach of the Iraqi national team.

* "Madness of the year! German will coach the devils" - The reaction of German tabloid Bild.

* "Thursday does not excite the fans. It's a night for taking the missus out for a meal" - Graeme Souness on the "downgraded" UEFA Cup.

* ``We lost to a fluke goal but it couldn't have been scored by a nicer guy, I don't begrudge him that at all - he's a nice man'' - And then reveals he has a nice side after Jamie Redknapp scored the winner for Spurs at Ewood Park on Sunday.

* “There are days when you think about it more than others and I even find myself talking to my leg, saying ‘Please don’t let me down again’ – Jamie Redknapp, in The Daily Mirror, ‘admits that he is still scared by the mental scars of the three years on the sidelines with a knee injury’. After the admission that he talks to his leg, we’re saying that ‘mental’ is the operative word.

* "I was going to grounds, paying my own way in, putting on a big hat so no one would recognise me" - Gordon Strachan on how Brett Ormerod first came to his attention when he was an ‘out-of-work manager’ after being dismissed by Coventry.

* "Marian doesn't tackle people and he doesn't speak. He scores goals and runs around. That's it" - And takes issue with the first of the two yellow cards that resulted in Pahars being sent off against Man City.

* "If I have to work that hard for us to lose 2-0, then I don't think we are on the right track" - Man City keeper Peter Schmeichel spots that something isn't quite right after the defeat at Southampton.

* "You don't know what you're doing" - The travelling City fans give us all a clue as to where they think the problem could be when Kevin Keegan substitutes Shaun Wright-Philips.

* "Keegan's a tactical dunderhead. He thinks tactics are a brand of confectionary" - Unnamed 'thoroughly fed-up member of the Manchester media' in The Times. Use of the word 'dunderhead' should always be saluted.

* "I was going to say by getting as far away from football as possible but that's what we did in the first half out there. That's as far away from football as any team I've managed have ever been" - Keegan after being asked what he planned to do in the ten-day Premiership break.

* "The fans can send me some more masks. I would welcome that" - Fulham's Facundo 'Zorro' Silva who greeted his first goal in the Premiership by donning a mask in what was surely one of the most bizarre celebrations we've seen in the Premiership. And in case you were wondering, he keeps it down his sock.

* "Jason is a big threat - but not as big when he's got somebody dangling round his neck" - Gary Megson on the Andy O'Brien/Jason Roberts incident during WBA's match at Newcastle.

* "It's a Salano penalty. Gary Megson wasn't shouting at the referee then" - Uncle Bobby hits back.

* "I was back in the dressing room when I heard a kerfuffle. To be honest, you often hear a lot of noise during Old Firm games. By the time I got out it all appeared to have quietened down. Actually, I was quite glad about that, because I'm just a wee fella" - Celtic boss Martin O'Neill on the half-time Rangers v Celtic tunnel 'kerfuffle'.

* "Are you joking? Everyone at home knows about English footballers. What could I tell them? Watch out for Michael Owen? David Beckham usually takes the free-kicks?" - Middlesbrough's Szilard Nemeth, in The Observer, after it was suggested to the Slovakian that he 'might make use of his specialist knowledge of English footballers.' Magnificently, Szilard was more concerned that "I cannot find any Slovakian restaurants here".

* "If he could have scored from there I'm a Dutchman!" - Rotherham's Ronnie Moore after defender Chris Swailes was sent off by ref Graham Laws for bringing down Portsmouth's Svetoslav Todorov.

* "The referee said if he caught sight of them during the game, I'd have to take them off," - Pompey keeper Shaka Hislop explains why he (almost) ran the risk of performing a mid-match striptease after referee Laws objected to his non-matching white cycling shorts.

* “You'll never play here again" – Arsenal fans on Sunday as their team gave Sunderland a bit of a chasing. Just a shame about that Worthington Cup draw, eh?

* "One nil, in the second half" – The Sunderland fans’ response.

* "If they play us every week they have every chance" - Peter Reid on the possibility that Arsenal could beat Nottingham Forest's top-flight record of 42 consecutive games unbeaten. Just change 'us' to 'Sunderland' and the quote is still relevant.

* "I don't leave on the bench - Charlie leaves himself on the bench. He should have been going away with Scotland. But he isn't, and there are reasons for that" - Dundee United boss Alex Smith's remarkable 'explanation' after Charlie Miller began the 2-1 defeat at Hibs on Saturday on the bench. It's really not a shock that he was sacked on Monday, is it?

* "I thought Phil Stamp was magnificent" - Hearts boss Craig Levein inadvertently gives us another reason to think that Scottish football really is at its lowest ebb.

* "I was sitting one away from Sven-Goran Eriksson in our recent home game against Leeds and he turned to me and asked who David Thompson was. I said 'He's someone who could play for your team.' I know he was also at our game at West Brom" - Graeme Souness reveals the moment that David Thompson first caught Sven's eye.

* "We had a Slovakian au pair, so I might get the missus to ring her up and ask her about their national football team. I don't know much about their footballers but their au pairs are good" - David James on England's latest spy. I wonder if she'll have any problems catching Sven's eye?

* “I don’t pick the team – but if I did I’d play myself” – Danny Mills on his England chances. Memo to Gary Neville: Don’t worry, Sven’s still got the job. We think



Some good quotes there, especially the 2nd one.

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