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October 1st 2002:
The queen walks down the stairs backwards saying the words 'White Rabbits' over and over hoping that this month she will earn a respectable amount of money unlike last months £100 million intake. As she walks along the gold plated pieces of carpet she bumps into the slave... I mean Butler.
Butler – "will that be cornflakes and a can of Carling for breakfast again madam".
Queen – "What an earth are you talking about I would like some buffalo with Caviar".
Unlike previous mornings the Queen thought she might take the train up to the bathroom. Being a big fan of video-games she orders slave number 300005 to purchase a copy of Blade 2 Bloodhunt and pre-orders a copy of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell. Sometimes she has a knack of forgetting that she is being recorded and as she starts to scratch her arm like a flee-bitten Dog she explains:
Queen – "I have heard that the way to make the most money in the shortest time is to scratch a body part vigorously and sing a long to your favourite band, in my case S-Club 7."
It was the opposite of what I imagined to find when having a one to one… In a strictly conversation style with the Queen of England. As the train rushed passed the upstairs village we arrived at the bathroom and we were greeted by 15 slaves which would support the major nerves protecting her titanium legs… I mean strong human legs. At this point she just winked at the camera and explained that this would be as far as she would allow the camera to go and for us to let her assistants to scrub her gold hips clean.
Whilst she was in the bathroom I took it upon myself to have a look around upstairs and admire the walls made out of money (literally)! I knew it would be a day of a job so I thought to myself 'let's take advantage of the old bat whilst she has no idea of what I am doing'... That was of course until the super Megaphone roared with the voice "Get Away from those rooms!" The security in this place was immense, even the dogs had 24 hour FBI protection. Being a 3 day trip I knew that I would have other opportunities to explore the deep gruelling underworld known to us as the Queens Palace.
At roughly 9:15 PM she immerged from the bathroom smelling of freshly cleaned metal and looking like a do...delightful masterpiece of abstract... erm... Art?! It was getting near to her bedtime and I didn’t want to get in the way as the train arrived to take her 2 doors down into the master bedroom. It felt kind of strange travelling around with Michael Jackso... I mean Queen Bobiria of orivian (that's the nickname I am entitled to after my years of paying Taxes). She gave her usual wave to the camera before disappearing under a puff of smoke; she then immerged over Graham Norton's Cigarette and proceeded towards her room! *After thought* 'some diary this, she only has two words for the cat and one word for me!'
October 2nd 2002:
The day started rather like yesterdays only this time I actually got a "Good Morning" and a "please" when she asked me to carry her DVD collection down into the front...erm...room! As we entered the front room Gorgeous George the Butler passed across us and turned on the 300" Nuclear TV and Dolby Satellite 100.9 Surround Sound system. Being a big action fan she had a collection of the latest films on the market including Blade 2 and Black Hawk Down. In the mood she was in today I expected her to ask for something along the lines of 'Pride and Prejudice', but no it wasn't for her she was in a 'Demolition Man' mood today.
I was sitting next to the queen watching 'Demolition Man' on DVD yet strangely enough I didn't feel awkward or out of place in anyway. I gave her my little diary and she began to add some notes about myself and the manor of which the camera crew had behaved. She had already doubled the word count of yesterday but she decided to add to this further asking:
Queen – "Is it true that Michael Jackson is no longer the prince of pop?"
I was slightly knocked of balance by this question and I didn't know what to reply with, would it be insulting to say no? Would it be insulting to say he looks like he has walked through the middle of an Army training camp without facial protection? I was on the spot and not sure of what to say or do so I quickly made a Homer Simpson dash for the door and straight upstairs, but escaping the Queen was going to be much harder than I originally expected and as a hologram of her body appeared in every room I went into it was a near impossibility of escaping her.
You know the saying 'Doesn't time fly when you are having fun?' Well the time was surely flying yet fun was the last thing on the agenda. Night fall was quickly upon us and the Queen wanted an early night and even though I knew that I would be leaving tomorrow I had experienced enough to never see the Queen in the same light ever again.
October 3rd 2002:
My bags were packed and I was at the door ready to leave the Queen possibly never to meet her again in my entire life *puts on cheeky smile*.
Queen – "Well Tat Ahh Tat Ahh and Hurrah! Hurrah!"
Me – "Thankyou your highness it has been the best 3 days of my entire life"
*Uncrosses fingers and begins to remember the stag night in Amsterdam*
I started saying goodbye to her staff at 9:30 AM and I finished at around 2:00 PM. As the helicopter hovered low over the courtyard I couldn't wait to see the tail wind blow off her 'too pay' into the wind, it would really make my day and sum up my experience with the queen of England! Little did I know that she was both a computer games fan and a DVD fan but even now knowing what she gets up to and how she lives *Wink Wink* I won’t be losing any sleep about it.
She has said around 100 words to me in 3 days; I caught a train to the bathroom, watched Demolition Man on DVD, listened in on her private conversations with Prince Phillip, Witnessed her secret Carling Beer stash and met Gorgeous Gorge the Butler, not to mention her secret storage of pirated videos! My account was over, the Queen vamoosed... I mean the Queens diary vamoosed and I didn't even need to visit a mental health doctor. Royalty shamoyalty, they lead the same lives as us with the exception of a few cushy extras ;)
Thanks for Reading
Garbe123
The queen walks down the stairs backwards saying the words 'White Rabbits' over and over hoping that this month she will earn a respectable amount of money unlike last months £100 million intake. As she walks along the gold plated pieces of carpet she bumps into the slave... I mean Butler.
Butler – "will that be cornflakes and a can of Carling for breakfast again madam".
Queen – "What an earth are you talking about I would like some buffalo with Caviar".
Unlike previous mornings the Queen thought she might take the train up to the bathroom. Being a big fan of video-games she orders slave number 300005 to purchase a copy of Blade 2 Bloodhunt and pre-orders a copy of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell. Sometimes she has a knack of forgetting that she is being recorded and as she starts to scratch her arm like a flee-bitten Dog she explains:
Queen – "I have heard that the way to make the most money in the shortest time is to scratch a body part vigorously and sing a long to your favourite band, in my case S-Club 7."
It was the opposite of what I imagined to find when having a one to one… In a strictly conversation style with the Queen of England. As the train rushed passed the upstairs village we arrived at the bathroom and we were greeted by 15 slaves which would support the major nerves protecting her titanium legs… I mean strong human legs. At this point she just winked at the camera and explained that this would be as far as she would allow the camera to go and for us to let her assistants to scrub her gold hips clean.
Whilst she was in the bathroom I took it upon myself to have a look around upstairs and admire the walls made out of money (literally)! I knew it would be a day of a job so I thought to myself 'let's take advantage of the old bat whilst she has no idea of what I am doing'... That was of course until the super Megaphone roared with the voice "Get Away from those rooms!" The security in this place was immense, even the dogs had 24 hour FBI protection. Being a 3 day trip I knew that I would have other opportunities to explore the deep gruelling underworld known to us as the Queens Palace.
At roughly 9:15 PM she immerged from the bathroom smelling of freshly cleaned metal and looking like a do...delightful masterpiece of abstract... erm... Art?! It was getting near to her bedtime and I didn’t want to get in the way as the train arrived to take her 2 doors down into the master bedroom. It felt kind of strange travelling around with Michael Jackso... I mean Queen Bobiria of orivian (that's the nickname I am entitled to after my years of paying Taxes). She gave her usual wave to the camera before disappearing under a puff of smoke; she then immerged over Graham Norton's Cigarette and proceeded towards her room! *After thought* 'some diary this, she only has two words for the cat and one word for me!'
October 2nd 2002:
The day started rather like yesterdays only this time I actually got a "Good Morning" and a "please" when she asked me to carry her DVD collection down into the front...erm...room! As we entered the front room Gorgeous George the Butler passed across us and turned on the 300" Nuclear TV and Dolby Satellite 100.9 Surround Sound system. Being a big action fan she had a collection of the latest films on the market including Blade 2 and Black Hawk Down. In the mood she was in today I expected her to ask for something along the lines of 'Pride and Prejudice', but no it wasn't for her she was in a 'Demolition Man' mood today.
I was sitting next to the queen watching 'Demolition Man' on DVD yet strangely enough I didn't feel awkward or out of place in anyway. I gave her my little diary and she began to add some notes about myself and the manor of which the camera crew had behaved. She had already doubled the word count of yesterday but she decided to add to this further asking:
Queen – "Is it true that Michael Jackson is no longer the prince of pop?"
I was slightly knocked of balance by this question and I didn't know what to reply with, would it be insulting to say no? Would it be insulting to say he looks like he has walked through the middle of an Army training camp without facial protection? I was on the spot and not sure of what to say or do so I quickly made a Homer Simpson dash for the door and straight upstairs, but escaping the Queen was going to be much harder than I originally expected and as a hologram of her body appeared in every room I went into it was a near impossibility of escaping her.
You know the saying 'Doesn't time fly when you are having fun?' Well the time was surely flying yet fun was the last thing on the agenda. Night fall was quickly upon us and the Queen wanted an early night and even though I knew that I would be leaving tomorrow I had experienced enough to never see the Queen in the same light ever again.
October 3rd 2002:
My bags were packed and I was at the door ready to leave the Queen possibly never to meet her again in my entire life *puts on cheeky smile*.
Queen – "Well Tat Ahh Tat Ahh and Hurrah! Hurrah!"
Me – "Thankyou your highness it has been the best 3 days of my entire life"
*Uncrosses fingers and begins to remember the stag night in Amsterdam*
I started saying goodbye to her staff at 9:30 AM and I finished at around 2:00 PM. As the helicopter hovered low over the courtyard I couldn't wait to see the tail wind blow off her 'too pay' into the wind, it would really make my day and sum up my experience with the queen of England! Little did I know that she was both a computer games fan and a DVD fan but even now knowing what she gets up to and how she lives *Wink Wink* I won’t be losing any sleep about it.
She has said around 100 words to me in 3 days; I caught a train to the bathroom, watched Demolition Man on DVD, listened in on her private conversations with Prince Phillip, Witnessed her secret Carling Beer stash and met Gorgeous Gorge the Butler, not to mention her secret storage of pirated videos! My account was over, the Queen vamoosed... I mean the Queens diary vamoosed and I didn't even need to visit a mental health doctor. Royalty shamoyalty, they lead the same lives as us with the exception of a few cushy extras ;)
Thanks for Reading
Garbe123
LOL.
Amusement.
Amusement.
Thanks Tom :)
heh, excellent
October 1st 2002:
The queen walks down the stairs backwards saying the words 'White Rabbits' over and over hoping that this month she will earn a respectable amount of money unlike last months £100 million intake. As she walks along the gold plated pieces of carpet she bumps into the slave... I mean Butler.
Butler – "will that be cornflakes and a can of Carling for breakfast again madam".
Queen – "What an earth are you talking about I would like some buffalo with Caviar".
Unlike previous mornings the Queen thought she might take the train up to the bathroom. Being a big fan of video-games she orders slave number 300005 to purchase a copy of Blade 2 Bloodhunt and pre-orders a copy of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell. Sometimes she has a knack of forgetting that she is being recorded and as she starts to scratch her arm like a flee-bitten Dog she explains:
Queen – "I have heard that the way to make the most money in the shortest time is to scratch a body part vigorously and sing a long to your favourite band, in my case S-Club 7."
It was the opposite of what I imagined to find when having a one to one… In a strictly conversation style with the Queen of England. As the train rushed passed the upstairs village we arrived at the bathroom and we were greeted by 15 slaves which would support the major nerves protecting her titanium legs… I mean strong human legs. At this point she just winked at the camera and explained that this would be as far as she would allow the camera to go and for us to let her assistants to scrub her gold hips clean.
Whilst she was in the bathroom I took it upon myself to have a look around upstairs and admire the walls made out of money (literally)! I knew it would be a day of a job so I thought to myself 'let's take advantage of the old bat whilst she has no idea of what I am doing'... That was of course until the super Megaphone roared with the voice "Get Away from those rooms!" The security in this place was immense, even the dogs had 24 hour FBI protection. Being a 3 day trip I knew that I would have other opportunities to explore the deep gruelling underworld known to us as the Queens Palace.
At roughly 9:15 PM she immerged from the bathroom smelling of freshly cleaned metal and looking like a do...delightful masterpiece of abstract... erm... Art?! It was getting near to her bedtime and I didn’t want to get in the way as the train arrived to take her 2 doors down into the master bedroom. It felt kind of strange travelling around with Michael Jackso... I mean Queen Bobiria of orivian (that's the nickname I am entitled to after my years of paying Taxes). She gave her usual wave to the camera before disappearing under a puff of smoke; she then immerged over Graham Norton's Cigarette and proceeded towards her room! *After thought* 'some diary this, she only has two words for the cat and one word for me!'
October 2nd 2002:
The day started rather like yesterdays only this time I actually got a "Good Morning" and a "please" when she asked me to carry her DVD collection down into the front...erm...room! As we entered the front room Gorgeous George the Butler passed across us and turned on the 300" Nuclear TV and Dolby Satellite 100.9 Surround Sound system. Being a big action fan she had a collection of the latest films on the market including Blade 2 and Black Hawk Down. In the mood she was in today I expected her to ask for something along the lines of 'Pride and Prejudice', but no it wasn't for her she was in a 'Demolition Man' mood today.
I was sitting next to the queen watching 'Demolition Man' on DVD yet strangely enough I didn't feel awkward or out of place in anyway. I gave her my little diary and she began to add some notes about myself and the manor of which the camera crew had behaved. She had already doubled the word count of yesterday but she decided to add to this further asking:
Queen – "Is it true that Michael Jackson is no longer the prince of pop?"
I was slightly knocked of balance by this question and I didn't know what to reply with, would it be insulting to say no? Would it be insulting to say he looks like he has walked through the middle of an Army training camp without facial protection? I was on the spot and not sure of what to say or do so I quickly made a Homer Simpson dash for the door and straight upstairs, but escaping the Queen was going to be much harder than I originally expected and as a hologram of her body appeared in every room I went into it was a near impossibility of escaping her.
You know the saying 'Doesn't time fly when you are having fun?' Well the time was surely flying yet fun was the last thing on the agenda. Night fall was quickly upon us and the Queen wanted an early night and even though I knew that I would be leaving tomorrow I had experienced enough to never see the Queen in the same light ever again.
October 3rd 2002:
My bags were packed and I was at the door ready to leave the Queen possibly never to meet her again in my entire life *puts on cheeky smile*.
Queen – "Well Tat Ahh Tat Ahh and Hurrah! Hurrah!"
Me – "Thankyou your highness it has been the best 3 days of my entire life"
*Uncrosses fingers and begins to remember the stag night in Amsterdam*
I started saying goodbye to her staff at 9:30 AM and I finished at around 2:00 PM. As the helicopter hovered low over the courtyard I couldn't wait to see the tail wind blow off her 'too pay' into the wind, it would really make my day and sum up my experience with the queen of England! Little did I know that she was both a computer games fan and a DVD fan but even now knowing what she gets up to and how she lives *Wink Wink* I won’t be losing any sleep about it.
She has said around 100 words to me in 3 days; I caught a train to the bathroom, watched Demolition Man on DVD, listened in on her private conversations with Prince Phillip, Witnessed her secret Carling Beer stash and met Gorgeous Gorge the Butler, not to mention her secret storage of pirated videos! My account was over, the Queen vamoosed... I mean the Queens diary vamoosed and I didn't even need to visit a mental health doctor. Royalty shamoyalty, they lead the same lives as us with the exception of a few cushy extras ;)
Thanks for Reading
Garbe123
The queen walks down the stairs backwards saying the words 'White Rabbits' over and over hoping that this month she will earn a respectable amount of money unlike last months £100 million intake. As she walks along the gold plated pieces of carpet she bumps into the slave... I mean Butler.
Butler – "will that be cornflakes and a can of Carling for breakfast again madam".
Queen – "What an earth are you talking about I would like some buffalo with Caviar".
Unlike previous mornings the Queen thought she might take the train up to the bathroom. Being a big fan of video-games she orders slave number 300005 to purchase a copy of Blade 2 Bloodhunt and pre-orders a copy of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell. Sometimes she has a knack of forgetting that she is being recorded and as she starts to scratch her arm like a flee-bitten Dog she explains:
Queen – "I have heard that the way to make the most money in the shortest time is to scratch a body part vigorously and sing a long to your favourite band, in my case S-Club 7."
It was the opposite of what I imagined to find when having a one to one… In a strictly conversation style with the Queen of England. As the train rushed passed the upstairs village we arrived at the bathroom and we were greeted by 15 slaves which would support the major nerves protecting her titanium legs… I mean strong human legs. At this point she just winked at the camera and explained that this would be as far as she would allow the camera to go and for us to let her assistants to scrub her gold hips clean.
Whilst she was in the bathroom I took it upon myself to have a look around upstairs and admire the walls made out of money (literally)! I knew it would be a day of a job so I thought to myself 'let's take advantage of the old bat whilst she has no idea of what I am doing'... That was of course until the super Megaphone roared with the voice "Get Away from those rooms!" The security in this place was immense, even the dogs had 24 hour FBI protection. Being a 3 day trip I knew that I would have other opportunities to explore the deep gruelling underworld known to us as the Queens Palace.
At roughly 9:15 PM she immerged from the bathroom smelling of freshly cleaned metal and looking like a do...delightful masterpiece of abstract... erm... Art?! It was getting near to her bedtime and I didn’t want to get in the way as the train arrived to take her 2 doors down into the master bedroom. It felt kind of strange travelling around with Michael Jackso... I mean Queen Bobiria of orivian (that's the nickname I am entitled to after my years of paying Taxes). She gave her usual wave to the camera before disappearing under a puff of smoke; she then immerged over Graham Norton's Cigarette and proceeded towards her room! *After thought* 'some diary this, she only has two words for the cat and one word for me!'
October 2nd 2002:
The day started rather like yesterdays only this time I actually got a "Good Morning" and a "please" when she asked me to carry her DVD collection down into the front...erm...room! As we entered the front room Gorgeous George the Butler passed across us and turned on the 300" Nuclear TV and Dolby Satellite 100.9 Surround Sound system. Being a big action fan she had a collection of the latest films on the market including Blade 2 and Black Hawk Down. In the mood she was in today I expected her to ask for something along the lines of 'Pride and Prejudice', but no it wasn't for her she was in a 'Demolition Man' mood today.
I was sitting next to the queen watching 'Demolition Man' on DVD yet strangely enough I didn't feel awkward or out of place in anyway. I gave her my little diary and she began to add some notes about myself and the manor of which the camera crew had behaved. She had already doubled the word count of yesterday but she decided to add to this further asking:
Queen – "Is it true that Michael Jackson is no longer the prince of pop?"
I was slightly knocked of balance by this question and I didn't know what to reply with, would it be insulting to say no? Would it be insulting to say he looks like he has walked through the middle of an Army training camp without facial protection? I was on the spot and not sure of what to say or do so I quickly made a Homer Simpson dash for the door and straight upstairs, but escaping the Queen was going to be much harder than I originally expected and as a hologram of her body appeared in every room I went into it was a near impossibility of escaping her.
You know the saying 'Doesn't time fly when you are having fun?' Well the time was surely flying yet fun was the last thing on the agenda. Night fall was quickly upon us and the Queen wanted an early night and even though I knew that I would be leaving tomorrow I had experienced enough to never see the Queen in the same light ever again.
October 3rd 2002:
My bags were packed and I was at the door ready to leave the Queen possibly never to meet her again in my entire life *puts on cheeky smile*.
Queen – "Well Tat Ahh Tat Ahh and Hurrah! Hurrah!"
Me – "Thankyou your highness it has been the best 3 days of my entire life"
*Uncrosses fingers and begins to remember the stag night in Amsterdam*
I started saying goodbye to her staff at 9:30 AM and I finished at around 2:00 PM. As the helicopter hovered low over the courtyard I couldn't wait to see the tail wind blow off her 'too pay' into the wind, it would really make my day and sum up my experience with the queen of England! Little did I know that she was both a computer games fan and a DVD fan but even now knowing what she gets up to and how she lives *Wink Wink* I won’t be losing any sleep about it.
She has said around 100 words to me in 3 days; I caught a train to the bathroom, watched Demolition Man on DVD, listened in on her private conversations with Prince Phillip, Witnessed her secret Carling Beer stash and met Gorgeous Gorge the Butler, not to mention her secret storage of pirated videos! My account was over, the Queen vamoosed... I mean the Queens diary vamoosed and I didn't even need to visit a mental health doctor. Royalty shamoyalty, they lead the same lives as us with the exception of a few cushy extras ;)
Thanks for Reading
Garbe123