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One day at Drunk Cow's house Cubist, Dead Cow, Ultima Weapon, and Drunk Cow were boring themselves to the core as they talk to each other across a long table.
Drunk Cow= What do you guys want to do today?
Dead Cow= Do you guys want to go to the movies?
Ultima Weapon= We need money, dummy!
Drunk Cow= I have a very big treasure in my house.
Cubist= Treasure!
Drunk Cow= Yea. It's really important to me. Well I have to be taking a nap about now, bye.
Cubist, Ultima Weapon, and Dead Cow look at Drunk Cow as he walks to his room. When they hear the gentle sound of a door closing, they all rush their way to his room and enter silently. Drunk Cow was dead asleep already. He must have been drunk.
How could they find out where the priceless treasure was without waking him? Ultima Weapon thought of a great idea. "If we found a shrink ray we could enter Drunk Cow's brain and search for place he has the treasure hidden. Then we get out and look in that place. It's that easy." Ultima Weapon whispered in an attempt to not wake Drunk Cow. "Where are we going to find a shrink ray genius" Dead Cow announced.
All of them tip-toed around while scratching their heads looking for one of a possible shrink ray. "Will this do?" Cubist says as he holds up a huge gun-like machine. "It will have to do." Ultima Weapon whispers.
They all get under the shrink ray and pull a large lever. Large flashing lights clouded the room wildly. Their bones began contracting and decreasing in size until they were the size of a dust mite next to Drunk Cow's now huge face. They walk over to his ears and dig through the unsightly ear wax. They got to a point where a large structured object the size of a mansion.
There was a small door in the distance that seemed like the entrance to Drunk Cow's brain. Cubist leads the slow march toward the door then open it with a tiny creek. The scene they saw when they entered was out of this world. Drunk Cow's brain was split into four sections that had their own door that went to the section. There was the intelligence part of his brain, the confused part of his brain, the happy thoughts part of his brain, and there was one door entitled "out of order".
"We have to split up to get the information faster." Dead Cow ordered. They decided that Cubist would go into the intelligence section, Ultima Weapon would go into the confused section, and Dead Cow would enter the happy thoughts section. They all go into their selected doors and begin the search for where the treasure is.
Intelligence Section-Cubist
From the moment he entered the room he knew it was a civilized place. The whole place was covered with bookshelves and tea tables with a plate of sugar cubes and two cups of tea beside it. The room wasn't very big though it was about the size of a average bathroom. Cubist scampers over to the nearest bookshelf and stares at the varies titles.
There was a All About Math Book, a Science book, a How to Spam Book, and a grammar book that had one page of information in it. Cubist opened and read "Grammar like cow because it smells!". Then it says " ,.:;"'!? See what mean this person me". Cubist was very baffled so he put the book down and sat in the nearest tea table and sipped peacefully on a cup. Suddenly a small elf like creature walks over to Cubist and sits besides him.
Elf= What are you doing here? I am the only one that controls this dummy's intelligence laddy
Cubist= Um, sorry sir but what exactly are you?
Elf= Well I'm the elf that speaks to Drunk Cow to tell him what to do of course.
(Cubist stares at the elf man)
Cubist= So he wasn't kidding when he says he listens to what the voices in his head tell him to do.
Elf= Yes laddy, so what brings you to these parts?
Cubist= I'm looking for the place where I can find the place to find a treasure. Wow, that was a tounge twister.
Elf= There's no information swiping here laddy, now leave!
The elf then takes out a small sword from his pocket and runs toward Cubist. Cubist is in big peril, but at this moment could it be that Ultima Weapon is having the same problem?
The Confused Section-Ultima Weapon
Ultima Weapon walks through the door and stands staring at the amazing sight. There was Piccaso pictures, elephants, dinosaurs, VCR's reading 12:00, and Micheal Jackson noses floating all around a strange vast room with pink and purple walls, ceiling, and floor. All these things floating must have really confused Drunk Cow to the point of stupidity.
Ultima Weapon walks to a huge whole in the center of the room. He looks down and sees Micheal Jackson trapped.
Micheal= Oh, hi UW.
UW= Micheal Jackson?!?!
Micheal= Can you help me up out of here please?
(Ultima Weapon throws down a rope ladder that was on the side of the irregular shaped whole)
(Micheal Jackson starts climbing up and talks as he climbs)
Micheal= As soon as I changed my skin to white I was transported down here instantly. I dont know why exactly but I've been here for a while.
(Micheal reaches the top)
Micheal= Oh my, just look at that nose of yours it is so ugly. Wait I think I could fix that.
UW= Huh!?
(Micheal takes out a plastic surgery needle and starts walking toward UW)
Micheal= Don't worry, it will look great when I'm done.
Ultima weapon steps back a bit. Soon the steps turned into leaps as Micheal Jackson tries getting to Ultima Weapon's nose. Ultima Weapon seems to be in as much trouble as Cubist! While this is going on though Dead Cow is on his own adventure.
The Happy thoughts Section-Dead Cow
Dead Cow opens his door and walks into a huge world filled with grassy plains, sunny days, happy animals, video games, and several pie people. The pie people saw Dead Cow standing near the exit door so they grabbed his hand and started showing him varies places that Drunk Cow enjoy going. The cheery goo that dripped from the pie peoples hands was soothing to Dead Cow.
They took him to a television that was playing Super Mario Sunshine on a human that had a screen jammed between his jaw. "This thought humorous Drunk Cow." the pie people said. Then the pie people brought Dead Cow to a video game disc.
Animal Crossing disc= Hi Dead Cow we were expecting you.
Dead Cow= Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, it talks!
Animal Crossing disc= Yes I do t....
(gets cut off by Dead Cow)
Dead Cow= Ahhhhhhhhh, it did it again!
Animal Crossing disc= Are you finished?
Dead Cow= Um..... wait, one more. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's talking, help me. Now I think I'm done. Hey your Animal Crossing the new game for GameCube!
Animal Crossing disc= Yes I know, so like I was saying........
(Dead Cow doesn't pay any notice to the cartrage and just thinks of the thought that he doesn't have that game)
Dead Cow= I want you now.
Animal Crossing disc= Why your so kind.
Dead Cow then jumps for the game and takes him in his hand. The pie people become outraged at this moment and grab his arms. Dead Cow slips away because the goo of the pie people and he runs for the door.
Out of Order Section-Dead Cow, Ultima Weapon, and Cubist
All three guys run out of their doors at the same moment. They all needed to get away quickly so they ran into the out of order room. Inside was a dark spooky room with bleeding walls, scary statues, and many cobwebs. They run up nearby stairs. The sound of many people rushing through the door behind them echoes throughout the spooky scenery. They get to a corner where the walls bleed with a red liquid. Near the walls was a small pillar with a book placed on it reading "Treasure".
Ultima Weapon opens it and reads small letters "it's in the whole in the wall". All of them now knew where the treasure was. They ran right through Micheal Jackson and his needle and ran back down stairs with the pie people just behind him. They go through the exit door and leave the way they entered the brain. All of them break through the ear wax once again and are out of his ear.
Without a seconds notice they return to their normal size. Meaning if they were to spend another second inside the confines of Drunk Cow's head, it would of grown in there causing his head to explode. Cubist, Ultima Weapon, and Dead Cow were happy that they were alive but they still really wanted the treasure. Cubist pushes Drunk Cow's bookshelf out of the way. A small whole was exposed and Dead Cow reaches in and pulls out the treasure.
"WHAATTTTT!?!?!" All that was in Dead Cow's hands was a fresh slice of homemade cheery pie. They all stayed looking at the pie for some time while they thought "How could this be treasure for Drunk Cow". The guys got one chair and one bat each and sat next to Drunk Cow's body, waiting for him to awake for they can let out their anger with him.
Drunk Cow= Yawnnnn! Hey what are you guys doing here?
All together= Don't try running!
They all lift their weapons and all you could hear from then on was the sound of a cow being slaghtered...
THE END
Drunk
Drunk Cow= What do you guys want to do today?
Dead Cow= Do you guys want to go to the movies?
Ultima Weapon= We need money, dummy!
Drunk Cow= I have a very big treasure in my house.
Cubist= Treasure!
Drunk Cow= Yea. It's really important to me. Well I have to be taking a nap about now, bye.
Cubist, Ultima Weapon, and Dead Cow look at Drunk Cow as he walks to his room. When they hear the gentle sound of a door closing, they all rush their way to his room and enter silently. Drunk Cow was dead asleep already. He must have been drunk.
How could they find out where the priceless treasure was without waking him? Ultima Weapon thought of a great idea. "If we found a shrink ray we could enter Drunk Cow's brain and search for place he has the treasure hidden. Then we get out and look in that place. It's that easy." Ultima Weapon whispered in an attempt to not wake Drunk Cow. "Where are we going to find a shrink ray genius" Dead Cow announced.
All of them tip-toed around while scratching their heads looking for one of a possible shrink ray. "Will this do?" Cubist says as he holds up a huge gun-like machine. "It will have to do." Ultima Weapon whispers.
They all get under the shrink ray and pull a large lever. Large flashing lights clouded the room wildly. Their bones began contracting and decreasing in size until they were the size of a dust mite next to Drunk Cow's now huge face. They walk over to his ears and dig through the unsightly ear wax. They got to a point where a large structured object the size of a mansion.
There was a small door in the distance that seemed like the entrance to Drunk Cow's brain. Cubist leads the slow march toward the door then open it with a tiny creek. The scene they saw when they entered was out of this world. Drunk Cow's brain was split into four sections that had their own door that went to the section. There was the intelligence part of his brain, the confused part of his brain, the happy thoughts part of his brain, and there was one door entitled "out of order".
"We have to split up to get the information faster." Dead Cow ordered. They decided that Cubist would go into the intelligence section, Ultima Weapon would go into the confused section, and Dead Cow would enter the happy thoughts section. They all go into their selected doors and begin the search for where the treasure is.
Intelligence Section-Cubist
From the moment he entered the room he knew it was a civilized place. The whole place was covered with bookshelves and tea tables with a plate of sugar cubes and two cups of tea beside it. The room wasn't very big though it was about the size of a average bathroom. Cubist scampers over to the nearest bookshelf and stares at the varies titles.
There was a All About Math Book, a Science book, a How to Spam Book, and a grammar book that had one page of information in it. Cubist opened and read "Grammar like cow because it smells!". Then it says " ,.:;"'!? See what mean this person me". Cubist was very baffled so he put the book down and sat in the nearest tea table and sipped peacefully on a cup. Suddenly a small elf like creature walks over to Cubist and sits besides him.
Elf= What are you doing here? I am the only one that controls this dummy's intelligence laddy
Cubist= Um, sorry sir but what exactly are you?
Elf= Well I'm the elf that speaks to Drunk Cow to tell him what to do of course.
(Cubist stares at the elf man)
Cubist= So he wasn't kidding when he says he listens to what the voices in his head tell him to do.
Elf= Yes laddy, so what brings you to these parts?
Cubist= I'm looking for the place where I can find the place to find a treasure. Wow, that was a tounge twister.
Elf= There's no information swiping here laddy, now leave!
The elf then takes out a small sword from his pocket and runs toward Cubist. Cubist is in big peril, but at this moment could it be that Ultima Weapon is having the same problem?
The Confused Section-Ultima Weapon
Ultima Weapon walks through the door and stands staring at the amazing sight. There was Piccaso pictures, elephants, dinosaurs, VCR's reading 12:00, and Micheal Jackson noses floating all around a strange vast room with pink and purple walls, ceiling, and floor. All these things floating must have really confused Drunk Cow to the point of stupidity.
Ultima Weapon walks to a huge whole in the center of the room. He looks down and sees Micheal Jackson trapped.
Micheal= Oh, hi UW.
UW= Micheal Jackson?!?!
Micheal= Can you help me up out of here please?
(Ultima Weapon throws down a rope ladder that was on the side of the irregular shaped whole)
(Micheal Jackson starts climbing up and talks as he climbs)
Micheal= As soon as I changed my skin to white I was transported down here instantly. I dont know why exactly but I've been here for a while.
(Micheal reaches the top)
Micheal= Oh my, just look at that nose of yours it is so ugly. Wait I think I could fix that.
UW= Huh!?
(Micheal takes out a plastic surgery needle and starts walking toward UW)
Micheal= Don't worry, it will look great when I'm done.
Ultima weapon steps back a bit. Soon the steps turned into leaps as Micheal Jackson tries getting to Ultima Weapon's nose. Ultima Weapon seems to be in as much trouble as Cubist! While this is going on though Dead Cow is on his own adventure.
The Happy thoughts Section-Dead Cow
Dead Cow opens his door and walks into a huge world filled with grassy plains, sunny days, happy animals, video games, and several pie people. The pie people saw Dead Cow standing near the exit door so they grabbed his hand and started showing him varies places that Drunk Cow enjoy going. The cheery goo that dripped from the pie peoples hands was soothing to Dead Cow.
They took him to a television that was playing Super Mario Sunshine on a human that had a screen jammed between his jaw. "This thought humorous Drunk Cow." the pie people said. Then the pie people brought Dead Cow to a video game disc.
Animal Crossing disc= Hi Dead Cow we were expecting you.
Dead Cow= Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, it talks!
Animal Crossing disc= Yes I do t....
(gets cut off by Dead Cow)
Dead Cow= Ahhhhhhhhh, it did it again!
Animal Crossing disc= Are you finished?
Dead Cow= Um..... wait, one more. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's talking, help me. Now I think I'm done. Hey your Animal Crossing the new game for GameCube!
Animal Crossing disc= Yes I know, so like I was saying........
(Dead Cow doesn't pay any notice to the cartrage and just thinks of the thought that he doesn't have that game)
Dead Cow= I want you now.
Animal Crossing disc= Why your so kind.
Dead Cow then jumps for the game and takes him in his hand. The pie people become outraged at this moment and grab his arms. Dead Cow slips away because the goo of the pie people and he runs for the door.
Out of Order Section-Dead Cow, Ultima Weapon, and Cubist
All three guys run out of their doors at the same moment. They all needed to get away quickly so they ran into the out of order room. Inside was a dark spooky room with bleeding walls, scary statues, and many cobwebs. They run up nearby stairs. The sound of many people rushing through the door behind them echoes throughout the spooky scenery. They get to a corner where the walls bleed with a red liquid. Near the walls was a small pillar with a book placed on it reading "Treasure".
Ultima Weapon opens it and reads small letters "it's in the whole in the wall". All of them now knew where the treasure was. They ran right through Micheal Jackson and his needle and ran back down stairs with the pie people just behind him. They go through the exit door and leave the way they entered the brain. All of them break through the ear wax once again and are out of his ear.
Without a seconds notice they return to their normal size. Meaning if they were to spend another second inside the confines of Drunk Cow's head, it would of grown in there causing his head to explode. Cubist, Ultima Weapon, and Dead Cow were happy that they were alive but they still really wanted the treasure. Cubist pushes Drunk Cow's bookshelf out of the way. A small whole was exposed and Dead Cow reaches in and pulls out the treasure.
"WHAATTTTT!?!?!" All that was in Dead Cow's hands was a fresh slice of homemade cheery pie. They all stayed looking at the pie for some time while they thought "How could this be treasure for Drunk Cow". The guys got one chair and one bat each and sat next to Drunk Cow's body, waiting for him to awake for they can let out their anger with him.
Drunk Cow= Yawnnnn! Hey what are you guys doing here?
All together= Don't try running!
They all lift their weapons and all you could hear from then on was the sound of a cow being slaghtered...
THE END
Drunk
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Thank you many times guys.:D
I always do.
Actually, great stuff Drunk Cow.
I enjoyed reading that.
:-)
I enjoyed reading that.
:-)
KRS already made an album called blueprint.
Thanks gerrid but I think even your good judgement won't bring people into reading my stories.
Drunk Cow's stories are great? why does no one read them?
You I had sugar cubes in my section! :D It suited me prefectly. Thanks Drunk Cow great story!
I found you.
Wow onw peplay and that wasnt even a replay. Goshness.
Um.. thanks hippy. I guess.
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