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We all know that Students always leave college with a deficit equivalent to a small third world country, but this is purely down to the high costs of education, course materials, student accommodation and the high price of alcoholic beverages.
So in an effort to curb debt, this guide has been produced for all those students attending college/university who feel pressed into not buying the latest game because the need to eat overrides their gaming passion.
Chapter 1: Hardware Acquisition
Emotional blackmail works wonders. The best time to instigate emotional blackmail is whilst going through your GCSE O Levels, because this is a tough time and you'll have the stress etched into every line on your fresh face. Techniques include:
a) Allowing a copy of OPSM2 fall out of your Letts Revision Guide at the breakfast table in front of your parents, using your dad's credit card to get him a year's subscription to PSW, switching the TV over to GameNetwork at every opportunity when they're not looking.
b) Leaving written quotes for Nintendo Hardware around the house in easy to find places; on the parental bed, on top of the toilet seat, Sellotaped to the steeering wheel of your dad's car, hanging from the washing line etc.
c) Subliminal messaging; setting the table with the knives and forks arranged in the letter 'X', recording 60 XBox commercials into the commercial break of a pre-recorded episode of Coronation Street, writing the letter 'X' on the bathroom mirror, condensation on windows, dew on the lawn, training your dog to splay out in the letter 'X' at the command 'Sit!' etc.
'Using the System' is also a powerful technique to gain some hi-tech gaming equipment. Signing up to a course that requires a high powered computer (Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science is a particularly good one) leaves no alternative but to get the highest spec MAXX Games PC from Special Reserve.
Colleges and Universities are only too happy to furnish students with information on grants and subsidies to enable them to buy this highly sought after equipment, and a good read of the smallprint will enable most students to exploit loopholes in order to require all the hardware they require for gaming.
Chapter 2: Software Acquisition
Most students take to the dark path of piracy. This doesn't help matters because it helps to increase the price of legitimate games, thereby driving more students to the dark path. There is another way. And it's actually cheaper.
By writing off to every games development company in existence explaining that you are "studying 'The Future of Gaming' as part of your 'Games Development Honours Degree' you need to have access to the latest games, preferably before they're released and could they please help out?" you will usually get a favourable response as well as a few freebies. At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
The same applies for the 'History of Gaming', 'Contemporary Gaming', 'Retro Gaming', 'Beta Gaming', 'Gaming Development', 'Sports Gaming', 'RPG Gaming', 'Development of the FPS Genre over the last 30 years Gaming' and 'Best Game Ever Gaming' modules of your respective course.
Another technique is to knock up a quick 3 page Games Review Website, all the better if you can pinch the NUS Logo and slap it on the front page to make it look official, then write off to developers advising them that you could do with some of the latest titles to review, plus a few extras so you can 'give them away in your latest website competitions' (or trade-in for titles you haven't yet got in your collection at your local SR shop). On the basis that any publicity is good publicity you should build up a full back catalogue of Acclaim titles in no time. They may even take you out to lunch a few times to ensure consistent and accurate reviews, and consistently high review scores.
So you've acquired your hardware, you've got a steady income of top titles, there's just one more hurdle to overcome:
Chapter 3: Getting Time to Play
This is a toughie. Particularly if you've signed up to a course like Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science, because these types of courses are very demanding on revision and learning, and therefore detract from your ability to fully enjoy the delights of Vice City, Never Winter Nights, Super Mario Sunshine and Halo 2.
But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to Business: Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of all courses ever invented. Then you can spend all your time on your state subsidised gaming machine playing with the course software supplied by all those nice third parties.
Further Reading:
A Career in Counter Strike, Sniper (1990)
Gaming Journalism: Gettin' Paid for Having Fun, Mr. Snuggly (2000)
0-60 Free Games in 7 Seconds: My Life, Tony Rainbird (2001)
Why Didn't I Read This Post Sooner? (Idiot) Shut up, Grix Thraves (2002)
The GAME Buyout Scandal of 2003: Rags to Riches, er-no (2004)
Writing for Fun and Profit, Meka Dragon (2002)
Other Books in this Series:
The Unemployed's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Housewife's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Single Mother's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Working Man's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Monkey's Guide to Cheap Gaming
How to Milk the Cheap Gaming Guide Topic and Make Money
So in an effort to curb debt, this guide has been produced for all those students attending college/university who feel pressed into not buying the latest game because the need to eat overrides their gaming passion.
Chapter 1: Hardware Acquisition
Emotional blackmail works wonders. The best time to instigate emotional blackmail is whilst going through your GCSE O Levels, because this is a tough time and you'll have the stress etched into every line on your fresh face. Techniques include:
a) Allowing a copy of OPSM2 fall out of your Letts Revision Guide at the breakfast table in front of your parents, using your dad's credit card to get him a year's subscription to PSW, switching the TV over to GameNetwork at every opportunity when they're not looking.
b) Leaving written quotes for Nintendo Hardware around the house in easy to find places; on the parental bed, on top of the toilet seat, Sellotaped to the steeering wheel of your dad's car, hanging from the washing line etc.
c) Subliminal messaging; setting the table with the knives and forks arranged in the letter 'X', recording 60 XBox commercials into the commercial break of a pre-recorded episode of Coronation Street, writing the letter 'X' on the bathroom mirror, condensation on windows, dew on the lawn, training your dog to splay out in the letter 'X' at the command 'Sit!' etc.
'Using the System' is also a powerful technique to gain some hi-tech gaming equipment. Signing up to a course that requires a high powered computer (Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science is a particularly good one) leaves no alternative but to get the highest spec MAXX Games PC from Special Reserve.
Colleges and Universities are only too happy to furnish students with information on grants and subsidies to enable them to buy this highly sought after equipment, and a good read of the smallprint will enable most students to exploit loopholes in order to require all the hardware they require for gaming.
Chapter 2: Software Acquisition
Most students take to the dark path of piracy. This doesn't help matters because it helps to increase the price of legitimate games, thereby driving more students to the dark path. There is another way. And it's actually cheaper.
By writing off to every games development company in existence explaining that you are "studying 'The Future of Gaming' as part of your 'Games Development Honours Degree' you need to have access to the latest games, preferably before they're released and could they please help out?" you will usually get a favourable response as well as a few freebies. At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
The same applies for the 'History of Gaming', 'Contemporary Gaming', 'Retro Gaming', 'Beta Gaming', 'Gaming Development', 'Sports Gaming', 'RPG Gaming', 'Development of the FPS Genre over the last 30 years Gaming' and 'Best Game Ever Gaming' modules of your respective course.
Another technique is to knock up a quick 3 page Games Review Website, all the better if you can pinch the NUS Logo and slap it on the front page to make it look official, then write off to developers advising them that you could do with some of the latest titles to review, plus a few extras so you can 'give them away in your latest website competitions' (or trade-in for titles you haven't yet got in your collection at your local SR shop). On the basis that any publicity is good publicity you should build up a full back catalogue of Acclaim titles in no time. They may even take you out to lunch a few times to ensure consistent and accurate reviews, and consistently high review scores.
So you've acquired your hardware, you've got a steady income of top titles, there's just one more hurdle to overcome:
Chapter 3: Getting Time to Play
This is a toughie. Particularly if you've signed up to a course like Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science, because these types of courses are very demanding on revision and learning, and therefore detract from your ability to fully enjoy the delights of Vice City, Never Winter Nights, Super Mario Sunshine and Halo 2.
But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to Business: Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of all courses ever invented. Then you can spend all your time on your state subsidised gaming machine playing with the course software supplied by all those nice third parties.
Further Reading:
A Career in Counter Strike, Sniper (1990)
Gaming Journalism: Gettin' Paid for Having Fun, Mr. Snuggly (2000)
0-60 Free Games in 7 Seconds: My Life, Tony Rainbird (2001)
Why Didn't I Read This Post Sooner? (Idiot) Shut up, Grix Thraves (2002)
The GAME Buyout Scandal of 2003: Rags to Riches, er-no (2004)
Writing for Fun and Profit, Meka Dragon (2002)
Other Books in this Series:
The Unemployed's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Housewife's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Single Mother's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Working Man's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Monkey's Guide to Cheap Gaming
How to Milk the Cheap Gaming Guide Topic and Make Money
I think FM has run out of money and needs free games for his addiction
My parents have never bought me a console and have has very bad luck with two PCs and hate everything to do with games etc
Best chance for me is to get a job or ask Santa
Sheepy: Wants a console soon
My parents have never bought me a console and have has very bad luck with two PCs and hate everything to do with games etc
Best chance for me is to get a job or ask Santa
Sheepy: Wants a console soon
I'll send you a signed copy instead, much more valuable in the long run, considering that this book is aimed at students therefore it will get shoplifted from Waterstones more than it will actually sell copies.
Can I have some of the royalties too?
Gangsta Hamsta wrote:
> ...Behind drama. Drama students can apparantly not turn up and claim
> they were perfecting their 'sleep acting'. A true fact
Cool, thank you, I'll include that in the second edition of the book (assuming the first edition ever gets published) and give you an acknowledgement :)
> ...Behind drama. Drama students can apparantly not turn up and claim
> they were perfecting their 'sleep acting'. A true fact
Cool, thank you, I'll include that in the second edition of the book (assuming the first edition ever gets published) and give you an acknowledgement :)
FantasyMeister wrote: (a bunch of funny stuff including)
>At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them >profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
Excellent - my first draft letter is already complete
>But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to> Business: >Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of
>all courses ever invented.....
...Behind drama. Drama students can apparantly not turn up and claim they were perfecting their 'sleep acting'. A true fact
>At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them >profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
Excellent - my first draft letter is already complete
>But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to> Business: >Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of
>all courses ever invented.....
...Behind drama. Drama students can apparantly not turn up and claim they were perfecting their 'sleep acting'. A true fact
We all know that Students always leave college with a deficit equivalent to a small third world country, but this is purely down to the high costs of education, course materials, student accommodation and the high price of alcoholic beverages.
So in an effort to curb debt, this guide has been produced for all those students attending college/university who feel pressed into not buying the latest game because the need to eat overrides their gaming passion.
Chapter 1: Hardware Acquisition
Emotional blackmail works wonders. The best time to instigate emotional blackmail is whilst going through your GCSE O Levels, because this is a tough time and you'll have the stress etched into every line on your fresh face. Techniques include:
a) Allowing a copy of OPSM2 fall out of your Letts Revision Guide at the breakfast table in front of your parents, using your dad's credit card to get him a year's subscription to PSW, switching the TV over to GameNetwork at every opportunity when they're not looking.
b) Leaving written quotes for Nintendo Hardware around the house in easy to find places; on the parental bed, on top of the toilet seat, Sellotaped to the steeering wheel of your dad's car, hanging from the washing line etc.
c) Subliminal messaging; setting the table with the knives and forks arranged in the letter 'X', recording 60 XBox commercials into the commercial break of a pre-recorded episode of Coronation Street, writing the letter 'X' on the bathroom mirror, condensation on windows, dew on the lawn, training your dog to splay out in the letter 'X' at the command 'Sit!' etc.
'Using the System' is also a powerful technique to gain some hi-tech gaming equipment. Signing up to a course that requires a high powered computer (Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science is a particularly good one) leaves no alternative but to get the highest spec MAXX Games PC from Special Reserve.
Colleges and Universities are only too happy to furnish students with information on grants and subsidies to enable them to buy this highly sought after equipment, and a good read of the smallprint will enable most students to exploit loopholes in order to require all the hardware they require for gaming.
Chapter 2: Software Acquisition
Most students take to the dark path of piracy. This doesn't help matters because it helps to increase the price of legitimate games, thereby driving more students to the dark path. There is another way. And it's actually cheaper.
By writing off to every games development company in existence explaining that you are "studying 'The Future of Gaming' as part of your 'Games Development Honours Degree' you need to have access to the latest games, preferably before they're released and could they please help out?" you will usually get a favourable response as well as a few freebies. At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
The same applies for the 'History of Gaming', 'Contemporary Gaming', 'Retro Gaming', 'Beta Gaming', 'Gaming Development', 'Sports Gaming', 'RPG Gaming', 'Development of the FPS Genre over the last 30 years Gaming' and 'Best Game Ever Gaming' modules of your respective course.
Another technique is to knock up a quick 3 page Games Review Website, all the better if you can pinch the NUS Logo and slap it on the front page to make it look official, then write off to developers advising them that you could do with some of the latest titles to review, plus a few extras so you can 'give them away in your latest website competitions' (or trade-in for titles you haven't yet got in your collection at your local SR shop). On the basis that any publicity is good publicity you should build up a full back catalogue of Acclaim titles in no time. They may even take you out to lunch a few times to ensure consistent and accurate reviews, and consistently high review scores.
So you've acquired your hardware, you've got a steady income of top titles, there's just one more hurdle to overcome:
Chapter 3: Getting Time to Play
This is a toughie. Particularly if you've signed up to a course like Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science, because these types of courses are very demanding on revision and learning, and therefore detract from your ability to fully enjoy the delights of Vice City, Never Winter Nights, Super Mario Sunshine and Halo 2.
But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to Business: Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of all courses ever invented. Then you can spend all your time on your state subsidised gaming machine playing with the course software supplied by all those nice third parties.
Further Reading:
A Career in Counter Strike, Sniper (1990)
Gaming Journalism: Gettin' Paid for Having Fun, Mr. Snuggly (2000)
0-60 Free Games in 7 Seconds: My Life, Tony Rainbird (2001)
Why Didn't I Read This Post Sooner? (Idiot) Shut up, Grix Thraves (2002)
The GAME Buyout Scandal of 2003: Rags to Riches, er-no (2004)
Writing for Fun and Profit, Meka Dragon (2002)
Other Books in this Series:
The Unemployed's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Housewife's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Single Mother's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Working Man's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Monkey's Guide to Cheap Gaming
How to Milk the Cheap Gaming Guide Topic and Make Money
So in an effort to curb debt, this guide has been produced for all those students attending college/university who feel pressed into not buying the latest game because the need to eat overrides their gaming passion.
Chapter 1: Hardware Acquisition
Emotional blackmail works wonders. The best time to instigate emotional blackmail is whilst going through your GCSE O Levels, because this is a tough time and you'll have the stress etched into every line on your fresh face. Techniques include:
a) Allowing a copy of OPSM2 fall out of your Letts Revision Guide at the breakfast table in front of your parents, using your dad's credit card to get him a year's subscription to PSW, switching the TV over to GameNetwork at every opportunity when they're not looking.
b) Leaving written quotes for Nintendo Hardware around the house in easy to find places; on the parental bed, on top of the toilet seat, Sellotaped to the steeering wheel of your dad's car, hanging from the washing line etc.
c) Subliminal messaging; setting the table with the knives and forks arranged in the letter 'X', recording 60 XBox commercials into the commercial break of a pre-recorded episode of Coronation Street, writing the letter 'X' on the bathroom mirror, condensation on windows, dew on the lawn, training your dog to splay out in the letter 'X' at the command 'Sit!' etc.
'Using the System' is also a powerful technique to gain some hi-tech gaming equipment. Signing up to a course that requires a high powered computer (Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science is a particularly good one) leaves no alternative but to get the highest spec MAXX Games PC from Special Reserve.
Colleges and Universities are only too happy to furnish students with information on grants and subsidies to enable them to buy this highly sought after equipment, and a good read of the smallprint will enable most students to exploit loopholes in order to require all the hardware they require for gaming.
Chapter 2: Software Acquisition
Most students take to the dark path of piracy. This doesn't help matters because it helps to increase the price of legitimate games, thereby driving more students to the dark path. There is another way. And it's actually cheaper.
By writing off to every games development company in existence explaining that you are "studying 'The Future of Gaming' as part of your 'Games Development Honours Degree' you need to have access to the latest games, preferably before they're released and could they please help out?" you will usually get a favourable response as well as a few freebies. At this stage it's a very good idea to write back thanking them profusely, explaing it's a 7 year Degree course, so 'keep 'em coming'.
The same applies for the 'History of Gaming', 'Contemporary Gaming', 'Retro Gaming', 'Beta Gaming', 'Gaming Development', 'Sports Gaming', 'RPG Gaming', 'Development of the FPS Genre over the last 30 years Gaming' and 'Best Game Ever Gaming' modules of your respective course.
Another technique is to knock up a quick 3 page Games Review Website, all the better if you can pinch the NUS Logo and slap it on the front page to make it look official, then write off to developers advising them that you could do with some of the latest titles to review, plus a few extras so you can 'give them away in your latest website competitions' (or trade-in for titles you haven't yet got in your collection at your local SR shop). On the basis that any publicity is good publicity you should build up a full back catalogue of Acclaim titles in no time. They may even take you out to lunch a few times to ensure consistent and accurate reviews, and consistently high review scores.
So you've acquired your hardware, you've got a steady income of top titles, there's just one more hurdle to overcome:
Chapter 3: Getting Time to Play
This is a toughie. Particularly if you've signed up to a course like Engineering CAD with modules from Computer Science, because these types of courses are very demanding on revision and learning, and therefore detract from your ability to fully enjoy the delights of Vice City, Never Winter Nights, Super Mario Sunshine and Halo 2.
But don't worry, after the first year simply switch courses to Business: Tourism and Leisure, quite possibly the least demanding of all courses ever invented. Then you can spend all your time on your state subsidised gaming machine playing with the course software supplied by all those nice third parties.
Further Reading:
A Career in Counter Strike, Sniper (1990)
Gaming Journalism: Gettin' Paid for Having Fun, Mr. Snuggly (2000)
0-60 Free Games in 7 Seconds: My Life, Tony Rainbird (2001)
Why Didn't I Read This Post Sooner? (Idiot) Shut up, Grix Thraves (2002)
The GAME Buyout Scandal of 2003: Rags to Riches, er-no (2004)
Writing for Fun and Profit, Meka Dragon (2002)
Other Books in this Series:
The Unemployed's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Housewife's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Single Mother's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Working Man's Guide to Cheap Gaming
The Monkey's Guide to Cheap Gaming
How to Milk the Cheap Gaming Guide Topic and Make Money