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Rare character Banjo, of Banjo Kazooie fame today shocked his creators by announcing that he wouldn’t appear in Xbox games unless he is given a massive pay rise as compensation for all of the confusion that has surrounded his future that he has had to deal with.
“It’s been terrible, the last few months. After two successful outings on the N64 I thought I would be considered to be a little more important around here, but I wasn’t told a thing. What these guys at Rare have to realise that with all this stress, I could bloody well sue them, but I’m not doing that, I just want a pay rise. Well, I say pay rise, they don’t pay me at the moment, so any money will do. And I know they’ve got it. I saw some bloke drive up to our doors with a truckload of the stuff.” Said Banjo when we spoke to him at secret meeting, yesterday.
The problem for Rare, however, is that if they start to pay Banjo the word is sure to spread to other characters, we all know how much Conker likes money in games, he’d bite off his own tail to get paid for real.
With Microsoft huge sums of cash now behind Rare this shouldn’t really be a problem, except for one character. Sabre Wulf has been in the game for so long, he’d want back-pay from the Spectrum days, as well as interest, and compensation for his years spent in the gaming wilderness, when he should have been pursuing other typical old man interests, like knotting hankies to wear on his head, and grumbling at youth.
Kazooie did offer a solution to Rare “Sod him. I can do a game on my own, hell, I deserve my own game after carrying him through the last two. Well, he carried me, but you know what I mean. Go on, cast him adrift, let him find his own level dancing for dirty faced orphans in Romania. I can see it now, my own game. Collecting things, flying through the air, insulting everyone without that silly bear apologising on my behalf, it’d be great!”
A Rare employee said “It will be dealt with internally.”
***UPDATE***
Breath a sigh of relief, for the problem has been resolved. When Rare refused to cough up cash for the hairy gaming hero he made a number of more reasonable demands, which we will see implemented in the next Banjo game. The start of the game will feature a ‘Banjo rap’, in the style of the DK rap. Banjo will wear a red cap for the duration of the adventure, and there will be an extensive ‘in space’ section, and a number train simulating mini-games.
Kazooie declined to comment on these latest developments.
“It’s been terrible, the last few months. After two successful outings on the N64 I thought I would be considered to be a little more important around here, but I wasn’t told a thing. What these guys at Rare have to realise that with all this stress, I could bloody well sue them, but I’m not doing that, I just want a pay rise. Well, I say pay rise, they don’t pay me at the moment, so any money will do. And I know they’ve got it. I saw some bloke drive up to our doors with a truckload of the stuff.” Said Banjo when we spoke to him at secret meeting, yesterday.
The problem for Rare, however, is that if they start to pay Banjo the word is sure to spread to other characters, we all know how much Conker likes money in games, he’d bite off his own tail to get paid for real.
With Microsoft huge sums of cash now behind Rare this shouldn’t really be a problem, except for one character. Sabre Wulf has been in the game for so long, he’d want back-pay from the Spectrum days, as well as interest, and compensation for his years spent in the gaming wilderness, when he should have been pursuing other typical old man interests, like knotting hankies to wear on his head, and grumbling at youth.
Kazooie did offer a solution to Rare “Sod him. I can do a game on my own, hell, I deserve my own game after carrying him through the last two. Well, he carried me, but you know what I mean. Go on, cast him adrift, let him find his own level dancing for dirty faced orphans in Romania. I can see it now, my own game. Collecting things, flying through the air, insulting everyone without that silly bear apologising on my behalf, it’d be great!”
A Rare employee said “It will be dealt with internally.”
***UPDATE***
Breath a sigh of relief, for the problem has been resolved. When Rare refused to cough up cash for the hairy gaming hero he made a number of more reasonable demands, which we will see implemented in the next Banjo game. The start of the game will feature a ‘Banjo rap’, in the style of the DK rap. Banjo will wear a red cap for the duration of the adventure, and there will be an extensive ‘in space’ section, and a number train simulating mini-games.
Kazooie declined to comment on these latest developments.
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agreed. sorry about that, its just a little well spread revenge aganst daveouses outburst. now for the big, unevenly spread revenge
Maybe he's happy to move to a console where little kids won't be dribbling over his disc as they put it in the console. ;-)
Anyway, who cares, this stuff is getting old.
Anyway, who cares, this stuff is getting old.
if i was banjo i'd run away to become a dancing bear in a circus rather then be an x-boxee, but the least said about that the better (maybe)
LOL nice post Meka...
i meant bank
lol banjo and his vurtual bak account
lol.
i get it now. oh ha ha ha :-D
it was a joke topic. you got me!
i get it now. oh ha ha ha :-D
it was a joke topic. you got me!
Daveus wrote:
> can you explain to me how Banjo has an opinion in his appearance(s)
> ?
> he has no soul, no blood, infact no opinion...because he's a computer
> generated character created by Rare. there for, he can't demand a pay
> rise. please...inlighten me
that made me laugh more than the origional topic lol :)
> can you explain to me how Banjo has an opinion in his appearance(s)
> ?
> he has no soul, no blood, infact no opinion...because he's a computer
> generated character created by Rare. there for, he can't demand a pay
> rise. please...inlighten me
that made me laugh more than the origional topic lol :)
how does a computer character sign contracts then? or should i ask Banjo when i next see him? or maybe i could get Kazooe to pass on the message. what'd you think? :-)
Daveus is a bit slow on the uptake, it's that fanboy brain of his, it takes a while to compute.
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