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"Mario go me fired!"

Mario is my hero. No two ways about it, he’s got a really hot Girlfriend (a bit wussy but hey no ones perfect); he is a master driver, expert golfer, world-class tennis player and the hero of the world. Naturally a loser like me will look up at him with awe. Sadly I do attempt to mimic him, for example whilst playing Tennis with my friends I just love to smack them with the tennis ball. On my fourteenth birthday party (few years ago now) I went go-karting and in my attempt to beat my friends I picked up random trackside obstacles and chucked it at them. So as you may gather I am an impressionable lad and trying to be my hero is a very hard thing to do. I plan to train at Brooklyn, where I will train to be a plumber, I will bring along my taller but younger Brother as well. Yet it’s these games that truly influence me, I truly try what is in the games… and… well last Wednesday I picked up Super Mario Sunshine.

Now this is an incredible game and I was playing it all day… that was until I had to go to work at my local Waitrose. Now Waitrose is a wonderful place if you happen to be Mario… that of course I am not but nevertheless if I want to be my hero, I need to act like my hero. So as I stacked a collection of Cambell’s leak soup on to a recently cleaned shelf I did something I’d later regret. I leaped onto the small fridge and placing my arm on the highest shelf I hauled myself over into the biscuit aisle. Now if I were Mario I would have cleared that with little difficulty and landed feat first on the other side. But I’m not. So after crashing through the Jaffa cakes and flour knocking most of them onto the floor I came tumbling onto the next aisle. Brushing my now white coloured uniform I stood up looking at the elderly lady who was watching on in disbelief. I smiled at her as I contemplated jumping the next shelf. Well my confidence of jumping over shelves has been crushed so I decided to walk. Popping round to the next aisle presented with another cool jumping opportunity. There was a gold cage and who ever had been working on it had left a nice pile of toilet tissues below it, I ran and leaped onto the first pile of toilet tissues and crashed into the gold cage. The gold cage then rolled round the corner as the checkout lady dashed out in shocked anger. In a panic I contemplated escaping, and then I remembered how I got back to an area in Mario Sunshine, I leaped on someone’s head and I was catapulted miles away. So guess what? Yep I jumped on the checkout manager’s head. But instead of being catapulted back to where I started, I heard a crack and she fell onto the floor.

Now I glanced from left to right, no one saw… well at least I didn’t think. Anyway my manager was a little angry after discovering the biscuit aisle looking like Afghanistan and came dashing round the corner to see the checkout manager lying unconscious on the floor. “What the hell happened here!” he exclaimed and I informed him that I didn’t know as I only just got here. As he attempted to wake the checkout manager I picked up a bottle of fabric softener to put out when a brain wave hit me. I opened the bottle a bit and dropped it on the floor. The entire floor was covered in some blue thick liquid. My manager again spun around and sighed, presuming I dropped it he told me to clean it up and so I left. Heading into the refuge bay I looked around for a pump of some sort. I saw a hose pipe and used a broom to get it down, a man from the Deli came in to dispose of his rubbish and gave me the worlds strangest looks… as if I was mad. After sticking it into a bucket of water I darted into the shop, various shelf stackers, deli workers, checkout employees and customer service people watched on in confusion. I ran into my aisle and my manager had gone, I presume he had left to help the poor checkout manager in the medical room. Anyway before I cleaned the messy goop up I darted and slid on my belly across the puddle, I dunno how Mario can cope because that hurt. Anyway I grabbed the hose and pulled the spray and it wasn’t quite disappearing, instead it was flowing all over the place. My manager returned and was fuming; I realized that this was some bad guy and so I attempted an escape by jumping in the air and firing my hose at the ground. But I didn’t hover instead I fell back down again. My manager opened his mouth to shout I sprayed the water into his mouth. He staggered back and slipped on the water and fell on his back. Everyone was watching on in disbelief as I ran at the tubby man leaped in the air and landed on his stomach with my butt. Instead of spewing out water and getting back up though like the boss in Mario Sunshine he lay there in pain… and then the police came.

So there you have it, I was fired. Fired because I listened to Mario. Let me assure you no fat plumber can jump that high unless he is on steroids, and if he is then he is a bad man. And half the things that Mario does is impossible… so don’t believe it… it’s all lies.

Dringo.

Biscuit aisle looking like Afghanistan...lol, would've never thought of that one. Well worthy of the win. :)

Lol, nice post Dringo.

Worthy GAD win, mate :-)

gerrid wrote:
> hehe, club.
******

The He-Man Mystique Haters Club.
Coolest cats in town.

Ine-San wrote:
> You won a GAD for that?
> You can't even spell got right.
> If it is true (which it most probably isn't) then you deserve the GAD,
> but...

erm???? Naturally the got was a typing error and not a deliberate belief that got was spelt go.

hehe, club.

I hope you weren't referring to moi?
I havn't tried to win a GAD and am not even a member of your club.

Bad loser, methinks.

You won a GAD for that?
You can't even spell got right.
If it is true (which it most probably isn't) then you deserve the GAD, but...

Dringo wrote:
> I do not fit into the catagory of brainless humanoid, mutant or
> dinosaur.

You don't?

Man, it's too easy. ;o)

I do not fit into the catagory of brainless humanoid, mutant or dinosaur.