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‘The SR Times’ – January 1st 2003
Due to the multi billion pound industry the gaming world has become, the ‘World Governing Association’ has finally carried out the threat that has been lingering ever since it was founded at the end of October 2002 – to take over world gaming affairs. This will mean reduced taxes for America and the United Kingdom, the two main consumers of gaming goods. However, whether this will be a good thing or not is debatable. It would be the equivalent of some uninformed politician repossessing the nation’s favourite newspaper (Ed. Note – The SR Times, of course).
Due to a special request, all major politicians from America and the UK will have their say in the new hardware and games, so you can be absolutely certain your favourite hobby has been well and truly destroyed. Moving swiftly on to the point then, we now have a confirmed list of consoles and four games the public will be able to experience as of January 1st 2004, and here they are:
In CONSOLES:
Replacing the Nintendo GameCube:
The GameBush
America’s president George Bush was particularly insistent in getting his own console, though he was deemed the GameCube’s replacement as the division in charge thought it best represented his character. George want’s to shed his naďve and child like image and replace it with what the ex-consoles Playstation 2 and X-Box managed to achieve. This looks like a goal not so far away, thanks to the forthcoming ‘Resident Evil’ games. Though a newcomer to ‘all this games type business’, Mr. Bush has a lot of followers, and this is represented through his four controller ports. Though some people feel the GameBush has no idea what it’s doing, it’s here to stay, and holds a powerful position in the gaming world.
Replacing the Sony Playstation 2:
The PlayGatesTion
After realising he wouldn’t have a say in the gaming world, Bill Gates, multi billionaire, promptly bought the whole of South America, so he could be included in the world governing association. Of course, he wanted to carry on with the Microsoft X-Box but apparently, according to the games division, he ‘wasn’t butch enough’. He was deemed the replacement for the PS2 - though the most successful, people are cautious about what’s on the inside. Annoyed by this, Bill will insist on charging high prices due to the ‘lack of competition’ as he puts it, and it will be interesting to see if his theory pays off.
Replacing the Sega Dreamcast:
The Labour DreamBlair
When Tony Blair was elected to be in the World Governing Association, he of course wanted his share in the gaming world. The Dreamcast was thought to best fit his character – though old in the politics/gaming world when compared to his fellow competitors, and seemingly unimportant, he does have a few tricks up his sleeve, and can pull of some fantastic games, even if his number of followers is limited. Though his console is expected to fall at the feet of all others, Mr Blair is producing games for all formats, and this is suspected to make up for his hardware losses.
Replacing the Microsoft X-Box:
The Arnie-Box
After becoming the most popular movie star in the world, Arnold Shwarzenigger was granted a place in the World Governing Association. Large, bulky and very durable, the X-Box was thought to represent him best: though no one knows how it keeps going, it manages to stay afloat with a couple of decent games. Mr Shwarzenigger is planning to make a version of each one of his movies, claiming that the other consoles will ‘bow down in my bloody vake of terror’ [coughs].
In GAMES:
In Action/Adventure Games:
The Resident Evil Series
These games, made by the coincidentally named, third party member, Al Gore, see you running a busy company, in which you control an infamous landlord in hope of setting things straight. The residents try to get to you by complaining about things such as the hot water, noisy neighbours, or other such devilish and evil occurrences. We’re already quaking in our boots. New underwear please.
In Simulation Games:
GTA: Nice City
The recently renamed ‘Gentle Timid Adventures’ series will kick off in 2004 with it’s latest instalment – Nice City. The game will consist of completing missions such as ‘Help Doris Take Out Her Garbage For Me’ or, the most challenging: ‘Listen To Your Grandfather Tell War Stories’. The main bulk of the game, however, will see you roaming the city free, with a wealth of opportunities. You can do practically anything in this promising title, as long as it’s legal and within the watchful eye of the law, or the game will trigger a switch in your console which will blow it up, killing you and anyone in a ten metre radius in the process…
In Sports Games:
International Governing Games 2004
This will be the government’s Olympic Games, if you will, with a whole feast of button bashing sports to try your hand at. There’s the ‘High Lie’, which will put those politicians into a furious battle of wits, as they try to out-lie each other. The ‘One Hundred-Minute Hand Gesture’ should be great with your mates, as you take control of the world leader of your choice, and quickly execute boring and pointless hand gestures as they recite a one hundred-minute speech. Unfortunately, that’s all that’s been released on this particular title, but watch out for it, as it’s said to offer some ‘fast paced multiplayer action’…
In Children’s Games:
Tony The Rhymer
This ‘Parappa The Rapper’ style game sees you through a whole host of challenging and fun button tapping tasks. Songs such as ‘A little less Public Health, a little more Taxes, please’ will be included alongside old classics like ‘Oh I do want to be a Politician’ and ‘Welcome to the House of Lords’. You’ll play a cartoon incarnation of Tony Blair, and will have to press buttons at the correct time to make him sing and dance. From what we’ve heard, it looks as though this may be more suited in the now extinct ‘Adult’ genre - it’s the scariest thing we’ve ever seen…
Oh, and one more thing. It’s been stated that anyone found in possession of a games console not made by the World Governing Association will serve a jail sentence of at least ten years, or be shot on the spot if they’re found with a controller in their hands. There will be a worldwide burning of Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and SEGA consoles on June 1st this year for anyone wanting to continue a long and happy life.
Aren’t politicians wonderful?
Due to the multi billion pound industry the gaming world has become, the ‘World Governing Association’ has finally carried out the threat that has been lingering ever since it was founded at the end of October 2002 – to take over world gaming affairs. This will mean reduced taxes for America and the United Kingdom, the two main consumers of gaming goods. However, whether this will be a good thing or not is debatable. It would be the equivalent of some uninformed politician repossessing the nation’s favourite newspaper (Ed. Note – The SR Times, of course).
Due to a special request, all major politicians from America and the UK will have their say in the new hardware and games, so you can be absolutely certain your favourite hobby has been well and truly destroyed. Moving swiftly on to the point then, we now have a confirmed list of consoles and four games the public will be able to experience as of January 1st 2004, and here they are:
In CONSOLES:
Replacing the Nintendo GameCube:
The GameBush
America’s president George Bush was particularly insistent in getting his own console, though he was deemed the GameCube’s replacement as the division in charge thought it best represented his character. George want’s to shed his naďve and child like image and replace it with what the ex-consoles Playstation 2 and X-Box managed to achieve. This looks like a goal not so far away, thanks to the forthcoming ‘Resident Evil’ games. Though a newcomer to ‘all this games type business’, Mr. Bush has a lot of followers, and this is represented through his four controller ports. Though some people feel the GameBush has no idea what it’s doing, it’s here to stay, and holds a powerful position in the gaming world.
Replacing the Sony Playstation 2:
The PlayGatesTion
After realising he wouldn’t have a say in the gaming world, Bill Gates, multi billionaire, promptly bought the whole of South America, so he could be included in the world governing association. Of course, he wanted to carry on with the Microsoft X-Box but apparently, according to the games division, he ‘wasn’t butch enough’. He was deemed the replacement for the PS2 - though the most successful, people are cautious about what’s on the inside. Annoyed by this, Bill will insist on charging high prices due to the ‘lack of competition’ as he puts it, and it will be interesting to see if his theory pays off.
Replacing the Sega Dreamcast:
The Labour DreamBlair
When Tony Blair was elected to be in the World Governing Association, he of course wanted his share in the gaming world. The Dreamcast was thought to best fit his character – though old in the politics/gaming world when compared to his fellow competitors, and seemingly unimportant, he does have a few tricks up his sleeve, and can pull of some fantastic games, even if his number of followers is limited. Though his console is expected to fall at the feet of all others, Mr Blair is producing games for all formats, and this is suspected to make up for his hardware losses.
Replacing the Microsoft X-Box:
The Arnie-Box
After becoming the most popular movie star in the world, Arnold Shwarzenigger was granted a place in the World Governing Association. Large, bulky and very durable, the X-Box was thought to represent him best: though no one knows how it keeps going, it manages to stay afloat with a couple of decent games. Mr Shwarzenigger is planning to make a version of each one of his movies, claiming that the other consoles will ‘bow down in my bloody vake of terror’ [coughs].
In GAMES:
In Action/Adventure Games:
The Resident Evil Series
These games, made by the coincidentally named, third party member, Al Gore, see you running a busy company, in which you control an infamous landlord in hope of setting things straight. The residents try to get to you by complaining about things such as the hot water, noisy neighbours, or other such devilish and evil occurrences. We’re already quaking in our boots. New underwear please.
In Simulation Games:
GTA: Nice City
The recently renamed ‘Gentle Timid Adventures’ series will kick off in 2004 with it’s latest instalment – Nice City. The game will consist of completing missions such as ‘Help Doris Take Out Her Garbage For Me’ or, the most challenging: ‘Listen To Your Grandfather Tell War Stories’. The main bulk of the game, however, will see you roaming the city free, with a wealth of opportunities. You can do practically anything in this promising title, as long as it’s legal and within the watchful eye of the law, or the game will trigger a switch in your console which will blow it up, killing you and anyone in a ten metre radius in the process…
In Sports Games:
International Governing Games 2004
This will be the government’s Olympic Games, if you will, with a whole feast of button bashing sports to try your hand at. There’s the ‘High Lie’, which will put those politicians into a furious battle of wits, as they try to out-lie each other. The ‘One Hundred-Minute Hand Gesture’ should be great with your mates, as you take control of the world leader of your choice, and quickly execute boring and pointless hand gestures as they recite a one hundred-minute speech. Unfortunately, that’s all that’s been released on this particular title, but watch out for it, as it’s said to offer some ‘fast paced multiplayer action’…
In Children’s Games:
Tony The Rhymer
This ‘Parappa The Rapper’ style game sees you through a whole host of challenging and fun button tapping tasks. Songs such as ‘A little less Public Health, a little more Taxes, please’ will be included alongside old classics like ‘Oh I do want to be a Politician’ and ‘Welcome to the House of Lords’. You’ll play a cartoon incarnation of Tony Blair, and will have to press buttons at the correct time to make him sing and dance. From what we’ve heard, it looks as though this may be more suited in the now extinct ‘Adult’ genre - it’s the scariest thing we’ve ever seen…
Oh, and one more thing. It’s been stated that anyone found in possession of a games console not made by the World Governing Association will serve a jail sentence of at least ten years, or be shot on the spot if they’re found with a controller in their hands. There will be a worldwide burning of Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and SEGA consoles on June 1st this year for anyone wanting to continue a long and happy life.
Aren’t politicians wonderful?
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‘The SR Times’ – January 1st 2003
Due to the multi billion pound industry the gaming world has become, the ‘World Governing Association’ has finally carried out the threat that has been lingering ever since it was founded at the end of October 2002 – to take over world gaming affairs. This will mean reduced taxes for America and the United Kingdom, the two main consumers of gaming goods. However, whether this will be a good thing or not is debatable. It would be the equivalent of some uninformed politician repossessing the nation’s favourite newspaper (Ed. Note – The SR Times, of course).
Due to a special request, all major politicians from America and the UK will have their say in the new hardware and games, so you can be absolutely certain your favourite hobby has been well and truly destroyed. Moving swiftly on to the point then, we now have a confirmed list of consoles and four games the public will be able to experience as of January 1st 2004, and here they are:
In CONSOLES:
Replacing the Nintendo GameCube:
The GameBush
America’s president George Bush was particularly insistent in getting his own console, though he was deemed the GameCube’s replacement as the division in charge thought it best represented his character. George want’s to shed his naďve and child like image and replace it with what the ex-consoles Playstation 2 and X-Box managed to achieve. This looks like a goal not so far away, thanks to the forthcoming ‘Resident Evil’ games. Though a newcomer to ‘all this games type business’, Mr. Bush has a lot of followers, and this is represented through his four controller ports. Though some people feel the GameBush has no idea what it’s doing, it’s here to stay, and holds a powerful position in the gaming world.
Replacing the Sony Playstation 2:
The PlayGatesTion
After realising he wouldn’t have a say in the gaming world, Bill Gates, multi billionaire, promptly bought the whole of South America, so he could be included in the world governing association. Of course, he wanted to carry on with the Microsoft X-Box but apparently, according to the games division, he ‘wasn’t butch enough’. He was deemed the replacement for the PS2 - though the most successful, people are cautious about what’s on the inside. Annoyed by this, Bill will insist on charging high prices due to the ‘lack of competition’ as he puts it, and it will be interesting to see if his theory pays off.
Replacing the Sega Dreamcast:
The Labour DreamBlair
When Tony Blair was elected to be in the World Governing Association, he of course wanted his share in the gaming world. The Dreamcast was thought to best fit his character – though old in the politics/gaming world when compared to his fellow competitors, and seemingly unimportant, he does have a few tricks up his sleeve, and can pull of some fantastic games, even if his number of followers is limited. Though his console is expected to fall at the feet of all others, Mr Blair is producing games for all formats, and this is suspected to make up for his hardware losses.
Replacing the Microsoft X-Box:
The Arnie-Box
After becoming the most popular movie star in the world, Arnold Shwarzenigger was granted a place in the World Governing Association. Large, bulky and very durable, the X-Box was thought to represent him best: though no one knows how it keeps going, it manages to stay afloat with a couple of decent games. Mr Shwarzenigger is planning to make a version of each one of his movies, claiming that the other consoles will ‘bow down in my bloody vake of terror’ [coughs].
In GAMES:
In Action/Adventure Games:
The Resident Evil Series
These games, made by the coincidentally named, third party member, Al Gore, see you running a busy company, in which you control an infamous landlord in hope of setting things straight. The residents try to get to you by complaining about things such as the hot water, noisy neighbours, or other such devilish and evil occurrences. We’re already quaking in our boots. New underwear please.
In Simulation Games:
GTA: Nice City
The recently renamed ‘Gentle Timid Adventures’ series will kick off in 2004 with it’s latest instalment – Nice City. The game will consist of completing missions such as ‘Help Doris Take Out Her Garbage For Me’ or, the most challenging: ‘Listen To Your Grandfather Tell War Stories’. The main bulk of the game, however, will see you roaming the city free, with a wealth of opportunities. You can do practically anything in this promising title, as long as it’s legal and within the watchful eye of the law, or the game will trigger a switch in your console which will blow it up, killing you and anyone in a ten metre radius in the process…
In Sports Games:
International Governing Games 2004
This will be the government’s Olympic Games, if you will, with a whole feast of button bashing sports to try your hand at. There’s the ‘High Lie’, which will put those politicians into a furious battle of wits, as they try to out-lie each other. The ‘One Hundred-Minute Hand Gesture’ should be great with your mates, as you take control of the world leader of your choice, and quickly execute boring and pointless hand gestures as they recite a one hundred-minute speech. Unfortunately, that’s all that’s been released on this particular title, but watch out for it, as it’s said to offer some ‘fast paced multiplayer action’…
In Children’s Games:
Tony The Rhymer
This ‘Parappa The Rapper’ style game sees you through a whole host of challenging and fun button tapping tasks. Songs such as ‘A little less Public Health, a little more Taxes, please’ will be included alongside old classics like ‘Oh I do want to be a Politician’ and ‘Welcome to the House of Lords’. You’ll play a cartoon incarnation of Tony Blair, and will have to press buttons at the correct time to make him sing and dance. From what we’ve heard, it looks as though this may be more suited in the now extinct ‘Adult’ genre - it’s the scariest thing we’ve ever seen…
Oh, and one more thing. It’s been stated that anyone found in possession of a games console not made by the World Governing Association will serve a jail sentence of at least ten years, or be shot on the spot if they’re found with a controller in their hands. There will be a worldwide burning of Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and SEGA consoles on June 1st this year for anyone wanting to continue a long and happy life.
Aren’t politicians wonderful?
Due to the multi billion pound industry the gaming world has become, the ‘World Governing Association’ has finally carried out the threat that has been lingering ever since it was founded at the end of October 2002 – to take over world gaming affairs. This will mean reduced taxes for America and the United Kingdom, the two main consumers of gaming goods. However, whether this will be a good thing or not is debatable. It would be the equivalent of some uninformed politician repossessing the nation’s favourite newspaper (Ed. Note – The SR Times, of course).
Due to a special request, all major politicians from America and the UK will have their say in the new hardware and games, so you can be absolutely certain your favourite hobby has been well and truly destroyed. Moving swiftly on to the point then, we now have a confirmed list of consoles and four games the public will be able to experience as of January 1st 2004, and here they are:
In CONSOLES:
Replacing the Nintendo GameCube:
The GameBush
America’s president George Bush was particularly insistent in getting his own console, though he was deemed the GameCube’s replacement as the division in charge thought it best represented his character. George want’s to shed his naďve and child like image and replace it with what the ex-consoles Playstation 2 and X-Box managed to achieve. This looks like a goal not so far away, thanks to the forthcoming ‘Resident Evil’ games. Though a newcomer to ‘all this games type business’, Mr. Bush has a lot of followers, and this is represented through his four controller ports. Though some people feel the GameBush has no idea what it’s doing, it’s here to stay, and holds a powerful position in the gaming world.
Replacing the Sony Playstation 2:
The PlayGatesTion
After realising he wouldn’t have a say in the gaming world, Bill Gates, multi billionaire, promptly bought the whole of South America, so he could be included in the world governing association. Of course, he wanted to carry on with the Microsoft X-Box but apparently, according to the games division, he ‘wasn’t butch enough’. He was deemed the replacement for the PS2 - though the most successful, people are cautious about what’s on the inside. Annoyed by this, Bill will insist on charging high prices due to the ‘lack of competition’ as he puts it, and it will be interesting to see if his theory pays off.
Replacing the Sega Dreamcast:
The Labour DreamBlair
When Tony Blair was elected to be in the World Governing Association, he of course wanted his share in the gaming world. The Dreamcast was thought to best fit his character – though old in the politics/gaming world when compared to his fellow competitors, and seemingly unimportant, he does have a few tricks up his sleeve, and can pull of some fantastic games, even if his number of followers is limited. Though his console is expected to fall at the feet of all others, Mr Blair is producing games for all formats, and this is suspected to make up for his hardware losses.
Replacing the Microsoft X-Box:
The Arnie-Box
After becoming the most popular movie star in the world, Arnold Shwarzenigger was granted a place in the World Governing Association. Large, bulky and very durable, the X-Box was thought to represent him best: though no one knows how it keeps going, it manages to stay afloat with a couple of decent games. Mr Shwarzenigger is planning to make a version of each one of his movies, claiming that the other consoles will ‘bow down in my bloody vake of terror’ [coughs].
In GAMES:
In Action/Adventure Games:
The Resident Evil Series
These games, made by the coincidentally named, third party member, Al Gore, see you running a busy company, in which you control an infamous landlord in hope of setting things straight. The residents try to get to you by complaining about things such as the hot water, noisy neighbours, or other such devilish and evil occurrences. We’re already quaking in our boots. New underwear please.
In Simulation Games:
GTA: Nice City
The recently renamed ‘Gentle Timid Adventures’ series will kick off in 2004 with it’s latest instalment – Nice City. The game will consist of completing missions such as ‘Help Doris Take Out Her Garbage For Me’ or, the most challenging: ‘Listen To Your Grandfather Tell War Stories’. The main bulk of the game, however, will see you roaming the city free, with a wealth of opportunities. You can do practically anything in this promising title, as long as it’s legal and within the watchful eye of the law, or the game will trigger a switch in your console which will blow it up, killing you and anyone in a ten metre radius in the process…
In Sports Games:
International Governing Games 2004
This will be the government’s Olympic Games, if you will, with a whole feast of button bashing sports to try your hand at. There’s the ‘High Lie’, which will put those politicians into a furious battle of wits, as they try to out-lie each other. The ‘One Hundred-Minute Hand Gesture’ should be great with your mates, as you take control of the world leader of your choice, and quickly execute boring and pointless hand gestures as they recite a one hundred-minute speech. Unfortunately, that’s all that’s been released on this particular title, but watch out for it, as it’s said to offer some ‘fast paced multiplayer action’…
In Children’s Games:
Tony The Rhymer
This ‘Parappa The Rapper’ style game sees you through a whole host of challenging and fun button tapping tasks. Songs such as ‘A little less Public Health, a little more Taxes, please’ will be included alongside old classics like ‘Oh I do want to be a Politician’ and ‘Welcome to the House of Lords’. You’ll play a cartoon incarnation of Tony Blair, and will have to press buttons at the correct time to make him sing and dance. From what we’ve heard, it looks as though this may be more suited in the now extinct ‘Adult’ genre - it’s the scariest thing we’ve ever seen…
Oh, and one more thing. It’s been stated that anyone found in possession of a games console not made by the World Governing Association will serve a jail sentence of at least ten years, or be shot on the spot if they’re found with a controller in their hands. There will be a worldwide burning of Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and SEGA consoles on June 1st this year for anyone wanting to continue a long and happy life.
Aren’t politicians wonderful?
i will be upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heh - Iraq would be old news... ;)
Cheers Time_Warp :). I was trying to make it so that when I was describing the console, I could just as well have been describing the politicians.
Heheh!
Good stuff, Maverick. Witty, the correct length, and a post that could well bag you your first GAD.
Good luck! (Y)
Good stuff, Maverick. Witty, the correct length, and a post that could well bag you your first GAD.
Good luck! (Y)
Thanks for the support AJ! :).
Good post better than I could ever do *get's all emotional*
No I'm a big boy now.....
No I'm a big boy now.....
great post Mav
Nice post mate, quite funny too :-)
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