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"The Dancing-Ice Age to Modern day life."

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Sat 28/09/02 at 21:37
Regular
Posts: 787
Hey folks. Anyway, I have been making fun and mixing up history in my time machine a few weeks ago to give you this report on 'The Dancing Ages'. Okay, I have written everything up and I hope that everything should go well because I think I left one of my time machine pods back in the times of the Romans...

#The Beginning#

First, I travelled back to the beginning of time, or probably known as the Ice Age. First, I had seen life on top of Mt. Bevarge (or known as Mt. Everest). There was human life prancing about round a huge tree that reached to the top of the earth. They were celebating a celebration known as 'Pie'. They had very little beanies and baggie jeans and instead, they wore animal skins from Nike. I had decided take out my stereo out of my backpack and shouted to them...stupidly...

"Want to hear music?!?!"

With their weird instincts and rituals, the were sniffing each other's hands as a warning that there was an intruder. They shouted and screamed like there was a riot at the Berlin Wall. Once the Chief, who was eating a pork pie came out, he took out his long spear and with his ugly, distorted face he chased me down the mountain, wanting the stereo. I took it and ran round the mountain and the village like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. I was suddenly out of breath, and then tried to turn on the stereo. I was not too late. All the people in the village and the Chief stopped...they had turned to each other listening to Coldplay. With their rituls, they took out their idol, Ice Man. Realizing they thought it was the Ice Man, they went cuckoo and started to prance and run round it. I had kept my stereo on the same song and eventually escaped, knowing that was not a success.

#The Egyptians and Moses#

My next stop was to Egypt. Sadly, I was at the time of the plagues and eventually ran away into one of the pyramids. I had slid down into a palace full of beetles. they all looked at me and by the way, I ate a packet of Quavers at the same time so I threw the packet at them as quick as I could and they came out with...

"Thanks, mate!"

I knew why they had said that becuase I was singing an Australian song. I had found my way out the secret passage, simply becuase it said that in English, not Hyphroglyphics. I jumped out and a huge explosion happened, something from The Matrix. All the plagues were finished and I had entered the main town, Cairo. I had seen the arguing of Moses and the Pharoah over a poker game. I took out my new stereo and they had looked at me...

"Funky clothes, mate! Where did ye get them from? I would like a pair of those." So, I replied...

"Shop down the road. Anyway, would like to hear some tunes I have made?"

They had both nodded, I had told them to come out to the river Moses had crossed with his folk and boomed out the Samba. Weirdly, all the slaves and Egyptians covered their ears because the song they had heard thought it was crap. They were moving and dancing to the beat without realizing it. Some of them cheered to the song and some...well, doing the Conga. Ugh, I did it too but I could not control myself. I hjad joined with moses and was having a good time. God joined in too, being ahppy, but angry by throwing all the Jews across the river. The Egyptias went all funny and started to get angry at me...so they took out their swords, whips and peanuts and tried to attack me. I ran back to the pod and left the stereo on for them. I eventually escaped and went back to the base.

#The Romans#

Ahh, The Romans. You could imagine the blood and guts everywhere. Those were the days for them. With no time to waste, I ran through the crowds and I had saw Julius Ceasar eating a Boarburger with a few of his mates who had drunk a couple pints of blood and water with KFC Zinger Burgers. So I decided to go to him to rent the Colloseum for tonight. A big man stopped me in my tracks at it was Fredirck Taitum, the Ancestor roared at me...

"Gueth what? If you want Juliuth Theether, make me waugh! Ning ning!"
So I did, and it was...

"Alex Ferguson goes onto 'Who Vants To Be A Millionaire!!'. He is going for the 1 million pound question and Chris Tarrant asks him whcih animal lives in a sett and the answers were a)badger, b)mole, c)cuckoo and d), ferret.

Alex ferguson doesn't know and goes for a 50/50 and the answers were a) and c). He still doesn't know and uses his 'Phone a Friend' and phones David Beckham. Luckily, he knew the answer and it was a)badger, so Alex sticks with it and Alex get his 1 million pounds.

The next day, he goes and thanks David and David and Alex come out with "Cuckoo's live in clocks. Meh"

Taitum started to pee himself laughing and I ran to Julius Ceaser and asked for the rent of the Colloseum for tonight. I offered him a life-time supply of naughty magazines, chocolate and boar and he agreed.

So, that night I held the 'Music Concert' with my 'Stereo'. I roared to everyone of they wanted to hear some Techno tunes, and they all roared "Aye!!!" They did not understand what it was, so I put on the music and the hard banging kickdrums and the hatty hats and because of this, all the people in the audience had gone crazy and started to enjoy this new sensation. With their rituals and all kind of weird stuff, they roared and Julius to dance to it too. The problem was that Julius did not like it and all his guards had woken all the lions, tigers, elephants and ferrets to kill me. I started to panic about it. As usual, I transported back to my pod and left the stereo on. All the animals heard it too and started to 'Dance to the Beat with DJ DJ!'. Yes, and it was not a success, again.

#Medieval Times#

I had one this review about it before and it went fantastic. The only problem was that Arthur was in the Dark Ages, but I msut concern that I gave him the idea of Medieval Breakdancing and made Breakdancing a sport, not for war.

"This is the evidence, I'm afraid folks"
FBI Agency Recruit Files

#'Samurais Sliced My Butt' and Kublai Kahn Times#

I had always loved to visit China once in my life and I did. First, I ended up in the times when the Great Wall of China was being built. First, I had seen Kublai Kahn ordering his workers to do this and that kinda crap. He was watching many people working their lives away. I ran over to him like Baywatch minus the bits. I asked him if I could 'Speed up' the time they were working at, so he did want me to do it. He looked at me with a weird look because of my clothes. He spoke in a different language we do not understand today.

Outside the main room of Kahn's house, I put on some heavy metal by the Rolling Stones. The song was called, if I could remember, 'Stones are Still Rolling Down The Hill, Dumby'. All of a sudden, the workers were listening to the song and went hyper. They had made all the cement and stuck the bricks and stuff together. Kahn was delighted and decided to take a nap. Without Kahn's help, the workers had made a new wall that had signs in a different language 'The Proof of God' That's what they told me, but not if there was a God or no.

Kahn woke up in the next few hours or so, after when I was shocked, seeing what had happened to his plans. I never knew what happened to him when he had saw it, but I would of probably knew he would of been really furious and probab;y took a freak and then, he would take an overdose on Yellow Fresh Made Tea.

#Part 2#

So, I travelled 1000 years more into the future to see the age of the samurais. I ended up in a huge field of samurais fighting in a war with the Mongolians, or known to them as the Songborilians. they were slapping and scrapping each other to see who has the best fighting skills against each other. I immeaditely stepped in and I asked them if they wanted to listen to 'Agadoo', but unfortunatly, they though the world was going to end and tried to kill me. Christopher Columbus had now discovered China and he died because he had seen too much. Well, I entered the pod and went back to the base for a cup of tea and finish the job.

So, the samurai's sung this song...

You can dance, you can dance,
Now everyone pull down your pants.

Okay, so the legacy and time travelling was finished. The question remains that what had happened to today's society? Well...

1. The Romans are still here, but they will be kiiled off in the next few seconds.
2. Samurais don't know Kendo anymore.
3. The Egyptians hold the biggest dance nation country ever, whilst Ibiza only has zilch.
4. The Great Wall of China is now known as The Grate Wall of God and Cheese.
5. Frederick Taitum died a funny death.
6. The 'First' people only held a contest of running in circles. People still does this now on Mt. Everest.
7. Egyptains wear Goth Clothes.

So, the name's of the histroy people are...

The Ice Man Folk
Ed's Egyptians
Rumpus Romans
Medieval Breakdancers
Singing's Samurais
Kahn's 'Kahn U Dig It?'

And one thing left...I forgot to ask God what was the meaning of life!! D'oh!

Anyway, I hope you have read it and enjoyed it. Yahoo.com is know at 2 points.

UW.
Sun 29/09/02 at 20:09
Posts: 0
No-one is saying anything now, so I will go and check something else out.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:25
Posts: 0
Yes...I know. I need help.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:24
Regular
"Max Power"
Posts: 2,196
same as what everyone else said
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:22
Posts: 0
Nomad Soul wrote:
> My conclusion: A muddled hotchpotch of inspired madness.
>
> In other words: you're insane, but in a good way.

Yeah, I know. I am the Weight-Loss Guru.

UW.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:14
Regular
Posts: 3,182
My conclusion: A muddled hotchpotch of inspired madness.

In other words: you're insane, but in a good way.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:03
Posts: 0
Fosbe wrote:
> I read it but i cant be bothered to reply.

Yeah, I know. Me neither.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:02
Posts: 0
Nomad Soul wrote:
> I'll read it. Just letting you know.

Okay.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:02
Regular
"ProGolfer"
Posts: 2,085
I read it but i cant be bothered to reply.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:02
Posts: 0
blahpro wrote:
> That was...er...an interesting read...

er...thank you....

UW.
Sat 28/09/02 at 22:01
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
That was...er...an interesting read...

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