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Gone are the days of the Gamecube being ridiculed as an overpriced hand-bag, and electronically endowed child's plaything...Ninty have finally got what they've always wanted - a mature image! With the earth shattering announcements of a new range of games yesterday, the big N look to have secured that niche market comprising of 'old people'. Behold the latest gems, all exclusive to the GCN:
SOUL CALIBUR: XTREME CRICKET
With Soul Calibur 2 being released on all major platforms, the series is looking to establish itsself as a main player - however, not to be outdone by Dead or Alive's Beach Volleyball antics on the XBOX, SC have gone and got themselves a brand new Gamecube game - 'Xtreme Cricket'! Coupling every male over 60's love of cricket with their secret pervy desires (ever wondered why they all read The Sun?), they're surely on to a winner. With such sumptous locations as "The Oval" and "Old Trafford", some of the sexiest cyber-chicks will be hitting fours and sixes in skimpy bikinis. Featuring all new bouncing technology, using months of motion capture research and an all new collision detection system...the cricket ball will act totally realistically. Featuring a stunning replay option, every single catch, wicket and LBW can be seen again, and again, and again..and of course, you can enhance the experience with the slo-mo and zoom options, and even save to memory card so that you can show your friends at the bridge club. Out February 2003.
HYMNS HYMNS REVOLUTION
Based loosely on the smash hit Sunday evening BBC show Songs Of Praise, you will get to tour various churches and cathedrals, singing all your favourite hymns and prayers along with hundreds of other faceless people in white robes. With an authentic soundtrack recorded by the likes of Charlotte Church (well, she's the only classical singer anyone's heard of so no need for other examples) you will be able to use the amazing new 'walking stick pad' peripheral with it's buttons strategically placed on the spine of the cane in order to hit the right notes at the right time. The ideal cocktail/anniversary/birthday party game for all old folk, you can either choose the career singer mode, or face off against a friend. With unlockables such as an interview with that lovely Darious off of Pop Idol and a slideshow of pictures featuring characters from Monarch of the Glen, you'll be playing this one until your joints seize up!
Coming out in April 2003, as a stand-alone game and a bundle including the walking stick controller.
COUNTDOWN - THE ULTIMATE QUIZ CHALLENGE
The official game of the long-running Channel 4 show, this is the only game that allows you to trade pleasantries with Richard 'crazier suits than Jonathan Ross' Whitely. Featuring excellently detailed cutscenes with the Dictionary Corner, including any one of a variety of boring anecdotes at the half-way point of the show, and a gorgously recreated Carol Vordeman, this could just be THE game that puts the Gamecube in front of the XBOX. You can pick from a dozen characters, including 'super smart twelve year old', 'smarmy student' and 'middle-aged saddo', and guide them through the thrilling world of 'making long words with nine random letters', 'getting to that number with those little numbers' and 'guessing what that jumbled up word is'. With an option to play with up to three of your mates, go for a hi-score or just have a quick numbers round, this is probably the closest you'll get to saying those immortal words: 'consonant please Carol'. Out in June 2003.
SIM TEA-ROOM
Ask any pensioner what they most want in life, and they'll answer "my own tea-room"...well, thanks to Nintendo these pipe-dreams are now a virtual reality! Sim Tea-Room will allow players to build their own tea-room in a quaint little village by the coast, giving them the choice to have either leather-bound menus or ones with lacy frilly stuff round the edges, and making them make the tough decisions such as "should you give those little biscuits with the tea, or just sugar?". As you progress, you will be able to expand your operation, either making your original tea-room bigger, or opening up another branch in another secluded, quiet area where like-minded folk can relax in the garden, watching darling little fountains and eating shortbread. However, with unpredictable events such as earthquakes and mindless vandalism, this game ain't no walk in the park. So, get your thinking hair-nets on in time for Autumn 2003, when Sim Tea-Room hits the GCN!
SUNDAY DRIVER
From Reflections, this new title will see you driving an ancient Ford Fiesta at dangerously slow speeds, causing huge tailbacks and lots of horn-tooting. But that's just the tip of the iceberg - a host of varied missions such as 'get the papers' and 'remember your glasses', along with outside sections where you can walk the streets (with help from a zimmer-frame, of course) and do more complicated missions, like 'stubbing out your fags' and 'figuring out a way to tie-up your shoe-laces without breaking your hip again'. This won't be easy, though, because the kids are on your tail! That's right, you'll have to evade your offspring, who believe you're too old to be on the streets and need to be in a home. With shocking plot twists and hidden side-missions, Sunday Driver is shaping up to be a must-buy when it hits the shops in October next year.
Updates, previews and reviews will be up on www.nintendo.com over the next few months. Or not.
SOUL CALIBUR: XTREME CRICKET
With Soul Calibur 2 being released on all major platforms, the series is looking to establish itsself as a main player - however, not to be outdone by Dead or Alive's Beach Volleyball antics on the XBOX, SC have gone and got themselves a brand new Gamecube game - 'Xtreme Cricket'! Coupling every male over 60's love of cricket with their secret pervy desires (ever wondered why they all read The Sun?), they're surely on to a winner. With such sumptous locations as "The Oval" and "Old Trafford", some of the sexiest cyber-chicks will be hitting fours and sixes in skimpy bikinis. Featuring all new bouncing technology, using months of motion capture research and an all new collision detection system...the cricket ball will act totally realistically. Featuring a stunning replay option, every single catch, wicket and LBW can be seen again, and again, and again..and of course, you can enhance the experience with the slo-mo and zoom options, and even save to memory card so that you can show your friends at the bridge club. Out February 2003.
HYMNS HYMNS REVOLUTION
Based loosely on the smash hit Sunday evening BBC show Songs Of Praise, you will get to tour various churches and cathedrals, singing all your favourite hymns and prayers along with hundreds of other faceless people in white robes. With an authentic soundtrack recorded by the likes of Charlotte Church (well, she's the only classical singer anyone's heard of so no need for other examples) you will be able to use the amazing new 'walking stick pad' peripheral with it's buttons strategically placed on the spine of the cane in order to hit the right notes at the right time. The ideal cocktail/anniversary/birthday party game for all old folk, you can either choose the career singer mode, or face off against a friend. With unlockables such as an interview with that lovely Darious off of Pop Idol and a slideshow of pictures featuring characters from Monarch of the Glen, you'll be playing this one until your joints seize up!
Coming out in April 2003, as a stand-alone game and a bundle including the walking stick controller.
COUNTDOWN - THE ULTIMATE QUIZ CHALLENGE
The official game of the long-running Channel 4 show, this is the only game that allows you to trade pleasantries with Richard 'crazier suits than Jonathan Ross' Whitely. Featuring excellently detailed cutscenes with the Dictionary Corner, including any one of a variety of boring anecdotes at the half-way point of the show, and a gorgously recreated Carol Vordeman, this could just be THE game that puts the Gamecube in front of the XBOX. You can pick from a dozen characters, including 'super smart twelve year old', 'smarmy student' and 'middle-aged saddo', and guide them through the thrilling world of 'making long words with nine random letters', 'getting to that number with those little numbers' and 'guessing what that jumbled up word is'. With an option to play with up to three of your mates, go for a hi-score or just have a quick numbers round, this is probably the closest you'll get to saying those immortal words: 'consonant please Carol'. Out in June 2003.
SIM TEA-ROOM
Ask any pensioner what they most want in life, and they'll answer "my own tea-room"...well, thanks to Nintendo these pipe-dreams are now a virtual reality! Sim Tea-Room will allow players to build their own tea-room in a quaint little village by the coast, giving them the choice to have either leather-bound menus or ones with lacy frilly stuff round the edges, and making them make the tough decisions such as "should you give those little biscuits with the tea, or just sugar?". As you progress, you will be able to expand your operation, either making your original tea-room bigger, or opening up another branch in another secluded, quiet area where like-minded folk can relax in the garden, watching darling little fountains and eating shortbread. However, with unpredictable events such as earthquakes and mindless vandalism, this game ain't no walk in the park. So, get your thinking hair-nets on in time for Autumn 2003, when Sim Tea-Room hits the GCN!
SUNDAY DRIVER
From Reflections, this new title will see you driving an ancient Ford Fiesta at dangerously slow speeds, causing huge tailbacks and lots of horn-tooting. But that's just the tip of the iceberg - a host of varied missions such as 'get the papers' and 'remember your glasses', along with outside sections where you can walk the streets (with help from a zimmer-frame, of course) and do more complicated missions, like 'stubbing out your fags' and 'figuring out a way to tie-up your shoe-laces without breaking your hip again'. This won't be easy, though, because the kids are on your tail! That's right, you'll have to evade your offspring, who believe you're too old to be on the streets and need to be in a home. With shocking plot twists and hidden side-missions, Sunday Driver is shaping up to be a must-buy when it hits the shops in October next year.
Updates, previews and reviews will be up on www.nintendo.com over the next few months. Or not.
*POP*
Come on, I know you're reading this...reply!
Come on, I know you're reading this...reply!
Ah well, one day I will get that cap back and your ideas will be mine!
Mwahahahah...Mwahahaha *coughchokecough*
Mwahahahah...Mwahahaha *coughchokecough*
*hides idea-stealer cap*
Thanks.
Thanks.
LOL, darn you stole my idea :) Used it well though! Funny post!
Gone are the days of the Gamecube being ridiculed as an overpriced hand-bag, and electronically endowed child's plaything...Ninty have finally got what they've always wanted - a mature image! With the earth shattering announcements of a new range of games yesterday, the big N look to have secured that niche market comprising of 'old people'. Behold the latest gems, all exclusive to the GCN:
SOUL CALIBUR: XTREME CRICKET
With Soul Calibur 2 being released on all major platforms, the series is looking to establish itsself as a main player - however, not to be outdone by Dead or Alive's Beach Volleyball antics on the XBOX, SC have gone and got themselves a brand new Gamecube game - 'Xtreme Cricket'! Coupling every male over 60's love of cricket with their secret pervy desires (ever wondered why they all read The Sun?), they're surely on to a winner. With such sumptous locations as "The Oval" and "Old Trafford", some of the sexiest cyber-chicks will be hitting fours and sixes in skimpy bikinis. Featuring all new bouncing technology, using months of motion capture research and an all new collision detection system...the cricket ball will act totally realistically. Featuring a stunning replay option, every single catch, wicket and LBW can be seen again, and again, and again..and of course, you can enhance the experience with the slo-mo and zoom options, and even save to memory card so that you can show your friends at the bridge club. Out February 2003.
HYMNS HYMNS REVOLUTION
Based loosely on the smash hit Sunday evening BBC show Songs Of Praise, you will get to tour various churches and cathedrals, singing all your favourite hymns and prayers along with hundreds of other faceless people in white robes. With an authentic soundtrack recorded by the likes of Charlotte Church (well, she's the only classical singer anyone's heard of so no need for other examples) you will be able to use the amazing new 'walking stick pad' peripheral with it's buttons strategically placed on the spine of the cane in order to hit the right notes at the right time. The ideal cocktail/anniversary/birthday party game for all old folk, you can either choose the career singer mode, or face off against a friend. With unlockables such as an interview with that lovely Darious off of Pop Idol and a slideshow of pictures featuring characters from Monarch of the Glen, you'll be playing this one until your joints seize up!
Coming out in April 2003, as a stand-alone game and a bundle including the walking stick controller.
COUNTDOWN - THE ULTIMATE QUIZ CHALLENGE
The official game of the long-running Channel 4 show, this is the only game that allows you to trade pleasantries with Richard 'crazier suits than Jonathan Ross' Whitely. Featuring excellently detailed cutscenes with the Dictionary Corner, including any one of a variety of boring anecdotes at the half-way point of the show, and a gorgously recreated Carol Vordeman, this could just be THE game that puts the Gamecube in front of the XBOX. You can pick from a dozen characters, including 'super smart twelve year old', 'smarmy student' and 'middle-aged saddo', and guide them through the thrilling world of 'making long words with nine random letters', 'getting to that number with those little numbers' and 'guessing what that jumbled up word is'. With an option to play with up to three of your mates, go for a hi-score or just have a quick numbers round, this is probably the closest you'll get to saying those immortal words: 'consonant please Carol'. Out in June 2003.
SIM TEA-ROOM
Ask any pensioner what they most want in life, and they'll answer "my own tea-room"...well, thanks to Nintendo these pipe-dreams are now a virtual reality! Sim Tea-Room will allow players to build their own tea-room in a quaint little village by the coast, giving them the choice to have either leather-bound menus or ones with lacy frilly stuff round the edges, and making them make the tough decisions such as "should you give those little biscuits with the tea, or just sugar?". As you progress, you will be able to expand your operation, either making your original tea-room bigger, or opening up another branch in another secluded, quiet area where like-minded folk can relax in the garden, watching darling little fountains and eating shortbread. However, with unpredictable events such as earthquakes and mindless vandalism, this game ain't no walk in the park. So, get your thinking hair-nets on in time for Autumn 2003, when Sim Tea-Room hits the GCN!
SUNDAY DRIVER
From Reflections, this new title will see you driving an ancient Ford Fiesta at dangerously slow speeds, causing huge tailbacks and lots of horn-tooting. But that's just the tip of the iceberg - a host of varied missions such as 'get the papers' and 'remember your glasses', along with outside sections where you can walk the streets (with help from a zimmer-frame, of course) and do more complicated missions, like 'stubbing out your fags' and 'figuring out a way to tie-up your shoe-laces without breaking your hip again'. This won't be easy, though, because the kids are on your tail! That's right, you'll have to evade your offspring, who believe you're too old to be on the streets and need to be in a home. With shocking plot twists and hidden side-missions, Sunday Driver is shaping up to be a must-buy when it hits the shops in October next year.
Updates, previews and reviews will be up on www.nintendo.com over the next few months. Or not.
SOUL CALIBUR: XTREME CRICKET
With Soul Calibur 2 being released on all major platforms, the series is looking to establish itsself as a main player - however, not to be outdone by Dead or Alive's Beach Volleyball antics on the XBOX, SC have gone and got themselves a brand new Gamecube game - 'Xtreme Cricket'! Coupling every male over 60's love of cricket with their secret pervy desires (ever wondered why they all read The Sun?), they're surely on to a winner. With such sumptous locations as "The Oval" and "Old Trafford", some of the sexiest cyber-chicks will be hitting fours and sixes in skimpy bikinis. Featuring all new bouncing technology, using months of motion capture research and an all new collision detection system...the cricket ball will act totally realistically. Featuring a stunning replay option, every single catch, wicket and LBW can be seen again, and again, and again..and of course, you can enhance the experience with the slo-mo and zoom options, and even save to memory card so that you can show your friends at the bridge club. Out February 2003.
HYMNS HYMNS REVOLUTION
Based loosely on the smash hit Sunday evening BBC show Songs Of Praise, you will get to tour various churches and cathedrals, singing all your favourite hymns and prayers along with hundreds of other faceless people in white robes. With an authentic soundtrack recorded by the likes of Charlotte Church (well, she's the only classical singer anyone's heard of so no need for other examples) you will be able to use the amazing new 'walking stick pad' peripheral with it's buttons strategically placed on the spine of the cane in order to hit the right notes at the right time. The ideal cocktail/anniversary/birthday party game for all old folk, you can either choose the career singer mode, or face off against a friend. With unlockables such as an interview with that lovely Darious off of Pop Idol and a slideshow of pictures featuring characters from Monarch of the Glen, you'll be playing this one until your joints seize up!
Coming out in April 2003, as a stand-alone game and a bundle including the walking stick controller.
COUNTDOWN - THE ULTIMATE QUIZ CHALLENGE
The official game of the long-running Channel 4 show, this is the only game that allows you to trade pleasantries with Richard 'crazier suits than Jonathan Ross' Whitely. Featuring excellently detailed cutscenes with the Dictionary Corner, including any one of a variety of boring anecdotes at the half-way point of the show, and a gorgously recreated Carol Vordeman, this could just be THE game that puts the Gamecube in front of the XBOX. You can pick from a dozen characters, including 'super smart twelve year old', 'smarmy student' and 'middle-aged saddo', and guide them through the thrilling world of 'making long words with nine random letters', 'getting to that number with those little numbers' and 'guessing what that jumbled up word is'. With an option to play with up to three of your mates, go for a hi-score or just have a quick numbers round, this is probably the closest you'll get to saying those immortal words: 'consonant please Carol'. Out in June 2003.
SIM TEA-ROOM
Ask any pensioner what they most want in life, and they'll answer "my own tea-room"...well, thanks to Nintendo these pipe-dreams are now a virtual reality! Sim Tea-Room will allow players to build their own tea-room in a quaint little village by the coast, giving them the choice to have either leather-bound menus or ones with lacy frilly stuff round the edges, and making them make the tough decisions such as "should you give those little biscuits with the tea, or just sugar?". As you progress, you will be able to expand your operation, either making your original tea-room bigger, or opening up another branch in another secluded, quiet area where like-minded folk can relax in the garden, watching darling little fountains and eating shortbread. However, with unpredictable events such as earthquakes and mindless vandalism, this game ain't no walk in the park. So, get your thinking hair-nets on in time for Autumn 2003, when Sim Tea-Room hits the GCN!
SUNDAY DRIVER
From Reflections, this new title will see you driving an ancient Ford Fiesta at dangerously slow speeds, causing huge tailbacks and lots of horn-tooting. But that's just the tip of the iceberg - a host of varied missions such as 'get the papers' and 'remember your glasses', along with outside sections where you can walk the streets (with help from a zimmer-frame, of course) and do more complicated missions, like 'stubbing out your fags' and 'figuring out a way to tie-up your shoe-laces without breaking your hip again'. This won't be easy, though, because the kids are on your tail! That's right, you'll have to evade your offspring, who believe you're too old to be on the streets and need to be in a home. With shocking plot twists and hidden side-missions, Sunday Driver is shaping up to be a must-buy when it hits the shops in October next year.
Updates, previews and reviews will be up on www.nintendo.com over the next few months. Or not.