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News just in!
LLPD were seen rushing to a lowly mud hut village this morning in an attempt to aprehend well known local resident Tal'Set, better known as Turok. It seems that Tal'Set has had numerous charges made against him, most notably mass murder.
Concerns began when a number of dead dinosaur corpses were found to be beaten to death, shot and horribly mutated by what LLPD (Lost Land Police Dept) are saying is an arsenal of hi-tech weaponry of mass destruction. Sgt Dean O'Saur of Lost Land Police was kind enough to give us this official (and exclusive, I might add) interview.
UMP = Un-named Member of Press
UMP: "Thanks for giving us ths this interview."
Dean: "Can we just hurry this up? I have spankings to carry out."
UMP: "Er... yes. So I understand that Tal'Set, or "Turok" as locals are calling him, has been charged with a number of offences."
Dean: "Yes, that's correct. He's been charged with mass murder, trespassing (), cruelty to animals and carry a weapon(s)."
UMP: "That's awful."
Dean: "Yes, awful... in... deed..."
UMP: "Are you eyeing me up?!"
Dean:
UMP:
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing ()... which is in all honesty absolutely shocking news, as this once honourable warrior has now slipped to the level of Saddam Hussein and Chris Tarrant. We spoke to Tal'Set's mother, Martha, about what she though regarding her son's behaviour.
UMP: "Mrs Set, I'm sorry we had to meet under this circumstances."
Martha: "Really? I'm not."
UMP: "What?! Why not?"
Martha: "Is, er... this going to be on TV? How's my hair look?"
UMP:
Martha:
UMP: "So what's your opinion on Tal's crimes against society?"
Martha: "Oh, come on! He gives a few dinosaurs some cuts and bruises and that makes him a criminal?"
UMP: "Well... he did kind of... mutilate them."
Martha: "Did he?"
UMP: "Well... yes."
Martha: "Oh, right then. Lock the little in jail and throw away the key, that's what I say! Peace, people! Save the Brachiosaurs!!!"
UMP:
The list of Tal'Set's supposed crimes has just been released to the press, and we are glad to announce that we are the fir... er, sec.... no, thirteenth people to show it to the public. Here it is in all of its' gruesome glory. Look away if you're squeamish.
- Butchering numerous Velociraptors with a club-like object.
- Causing noise pollution (ie. running and shouting) and disturbing the local Triceratops.
- Trespassing on the grounds of *cough* Lord Tyrannus.
- Mutilating many of the Lost Lands' endangered species, including deer, baboons, crocodiles and Tyrannosaurus.
- Numerous bloody murders of the Sleg Empire.
- Carrying class 1-1000 weapons, including the illegal Dark Matter Cube.
- Pulling up rare flowers in the jungle.
- The poaching of Stegosaurus.
- Fishing for Kronosaurs without a licence.
So things look bleak for Turok, with even his own mother abandondeding him, which must be a truly sad occurrance to such a *cough* noble warrior. However; with a trial imminent and the hefty charge of trespassing () on his shoulders, the man known as Turok had better be prepared to go away for a long time. Thank you, and goodnight.
STOP PRESS!!
Latest news! Tal'Set has escaped police custordy and is currently on the run. Sgt Dean O'Saur gave this speech today:
"We have just recieved word that the well-known criminal, Tal'Set, has escaped police custordy and is now at large. Now... we all know how dangerous he is... and we, the LLPD, are issuing the public with a warning. If you see this man, do not - DO NOT - approach him. He is very dangerous, and we seriously believe that he has a mental illness. We are also issuing all members of the public with sniper rifles for their own protection, and the Chief of LLPD has said to shoot Tal'Set on sight. Thank you."
So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Tal'Set, a fugitive... and I, for one, am stunned at the events we have witnessed here today. Goodnight.
LLPD were seen rushing to a lowly mud hut village this morning in an attempt to aprehend well known local resident Tal'Set, better known as Turok. It seems that Tal'Set has had numerous charges made against him, most notably mass murder.
Concerns began when a number of dead dinosaur corpses were found to be beaten to death, shot and horribly mutated by what LLPD (Lost Land Police Dept) are saying is an arsenal of hi-tech weaponry of mass destruction. Sgt Dean O'Saur of Lost Land Police was kind enough to give us this official (and exclusive, I might add) interview.
UMP = Un-named Member of Press
UMP: "Thanks for giving us ths this interview."
Dean: "Can we just hurry this up? I have spankings to carry out."
UMP: "Er... yes. So I understand that Tal'Set, or "Turok" as locals are calling him, has been charged with a number of offences."
Dean: "Yes, that's correct. He's been charged with mass murder, trespassing (
UMP: "That's awful."
Dean: "Yes, awful... in... deed..."
UMP: "Are you eyeing me up?!"
Dean:
UMP:
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing (
UMP: "Mrs Set, I'm sorry we had to meet under this circumstances."
Martha: "Really? I'm not."
UMP: "What?! Why not?"
Martha: "Is, er... this going to be on TV? How's my hair look?"
UMP:
Martha:
UMP: "So what's your opinion on Tal's crimes against society?"
Martha: "Oh, come on! He gives a few dinosaurs some cuts and bruises and that makes him a criminal?"
UMP: "Well... he did kind of... mutilate them."
Martha: "Did he?"
UMP: "Well... yes."
Martha: "Oh, right then. Lock the little
UMP:
The list of Tal'Set's supposed crimes has just been released to the press, and we are glad to announce that we are the fir... er, sec.... no, thirteenth people to show it to the public. Here it is in all of its' gruesome glory. Look away if you're squeamish.
- Butchering numerous Velociraptors with a club-like object.
- Causing noise pollution (ie. running and shouting) and disturbing the local Triceratops.
- Trespassing on the grounds of *cough* Lord Tyrannus.
- Mutilating many of the Lost Lands' endangered species, including deer, baboons, crocodiles and Tyrannosaurus.
- Numerous bloody murders of the Sleg Empire.
- Carrying class 1-1000 weapons, including the illegal Dark Matter Cube.
- Pulling up rare flowers in the jungle.
- The poaching of Stegosaurus.
- Fishing for Kronosaurs without a licence.
So things look bleak for Turok, with even his own mother abandondeding him, which must be a truly sad occurrance to such a *cough* noble warrior. However; with a trial imminent and the hefty charge of trespassing (
STOP PRESS!!
Latest news! Tal'Set has escaped police custordy and is currently on the run. Sgt Dean O'Saur gave this speech today:
"We have just recieved word that the well-known criminal, Tal'Set, has escaped police custordy and is now at large. Now... we all know how dangerous he is... and we, the LLPD, are issuing the public with a warning. If you see this man, do not - DO NOT - approach him. He is very dangerous, and we seriously believe that he has a mental illness. We are also issuing all members of the public with sniper rifles for their own protection, and the Chief of LLPD has said to shoot Tal'Set on sight. Thank you."
So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Tal'Set, a fugitive... and I, for one, am stunned at the events we have witnessed here today. Goodnight.
sheer comic genius
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing ()... which is in all honesty absolutely shocking news, as this once honourable warrior has now slipped to the level of Saddam Hussein and Chris Tarrant.
heh :D
this is a winning topic if ever i saw one!
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing (
heh :D
this is a winning topic if ever i saw one!
I'm about as stunned as I would be waking up in the middle of a football stadium during a live match on Channel 5 (atleast not many will be watching then :) ) wearing nothing but a ham sandwich!
How could Turok stoop to such levels!
Maybe it's too much Vitamin-D on his chest.
How could Turok stoop to such levels!
Maybe it's too much Vitamin-D on his chest.
LOL! Excellent stuff. It's about that Turok got what's coming to him for all of his crimes against, er... wildlife.
News just in!
LLPD were seen rushing to a lowly mud hut village this morning in an attempt to aprehend well known local resident Tal'Set, better known as Turok. It seems that Tal'Set has had numerous charges made against him, most notably mass murder.
Concerns began when a number of dead dinosaur corpses were found to be beaten to death, shot and horribly mutated by what LLPD (Lost Land Police Dept) are saying is an arsenal of hi-tech weaponry of mass destruction. Sgt Dean O'Saur of Lost Land Police was kind enough to give us this official (and exclusive, I might add) interview.
UMP = Un-named Member of Press
UMP: "Thanks for giving us ths this interview."
Dean: "Can we just hurry this up? I have spankings to carry out."
UMP: "Er... yes. So I understand that Tal'Set, or "Turok" as locals are calling him, has been charged with a number of offences."
Dean: "Yes, that's correct. He's been charged with mass murder, trespassing (), cruelty to animals and carry a weapon(s)."
UMP: "That's awful."
Dean: "Yes, awful... in... deed..."
UMP: "Are you eyeing me up?!"
Dean:
UMP:
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing ()... which is in all honesty absolutely shocking news, as this once honourable warrior has now slipped to the level of Saddam Hussein and Chris Tarrant. We spoke to Tal'Set's mother, Martha, about what she though regarding her son's behaviour.
UMP: "Mrs Set, I'm sorry we had to meet under this circumstances."
Martha: "Really? I'm not."
UMP: "What?! Why not?"
Martha: "Is, er... this going to be on TV? How's my hair look?"
UMP:
Martha:
UMP: "So what's your opinion on Tal's crimes against society?"
Martha: "Oh, come on! He gives a few dinosaurs some cuts and bruises and that makes him a criminal?"
UMP: "Well... he did kind of... mutilate them."
Martha: "Did he?"
UMP: "Well... yes."
Martha: "Oh, right then. Lock the little in jail and throw away the key, that's what I say! Peace, people! Save the Brachiosaurs!!!"
UMP:
The list of Tal'Set's supposed crimes has just been released to the press, and we are glad to announce that we are the fir... er, sec.... no, thirteenth people to show it to the public. Here it is in all of its' gruesome glory. Look away if you're squeamish.
- Butchering numerous Velociraptors with a club-like object.
- Causing noise pollution (ie. running and shouting) and disturbing the local Triceratops.
- Trespassing on the grounds of *cough* Lord Tyrannus.
- Mutilating many of the Lost Lands' endangered species, including deer, baboons, crocodiles and Tyrannosaurus.
- Numerous bloody murders of the Sleg Empire.
- Carrying class 1-1000 weapons, including the illegal Dark Matter Cube.
- Pulling up rare flowers in the jungle.
- The poaching of Stegosaurus.
- Fishing for Kronosaurs without a licence.
So things look bleak for Turok, with even his own mother abandondeding him, which must be a truly sad occurrance to such a *cough* noble warrior. However; with a trial imminent and the hefty charge of trespassing () on his shoulders, the man known as Turok had better be prepared to go away for a long time. Thank you, and goodnight.
STOP PRESS!!
Latest news! Tal'Set has escaped police custordy and is currently on the run. Sgt Dean O'Saur gave this speech today:
"We have just recieved word that the well-known criminal, Tal'Set, has escaped police custordy and is now at large. Now... we all know how dangerous he is... and we, the LLPD, are issuing the public with a warning. If you see this man, do not - DO NOT - approach him. He is very dangerous, and we seriously believe that he has a mental illness. We are also issuing all members of the public with sniper rifles for their own protection, and the Chief of LLPD has said to shoot Tal'Set on sight. Thank you."
So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Tal'Set, a fugitive... and I, for one, am stunned at the events we have witnessed here today. Goodnight.
LLPD were seen rushing to a lowly mud hut village this morning in an attempt to aprehend well known local resident Tal'Set, better known as Turok. It seems that Tal'Set has had numerous charges made against him, most notably mass murder.
Concerns began when a number of dead dinosaur corpses were found to be beaten to death, shot and horribly mutated by what LLPD (Lost Land Police Dept) are saying is an arsenal of hi-tech weaponry of mass destruction. Sgt Dean O'Saur of Lost Land Police was kind enough to give us this official (and exclusive, I might add) interview.
UMP = Un-named Member of Press
UMP: "Thanks for giving us ths this interview."
Dean: "Can we just hurry this up? I have spankings to carry out."
UMP: "Er... yes. So I understand that Tal'Set, or "Turok" as locals are calling him, has been charged with a number of offences."
Dean: "Yes, that's correct. He's been charged with mass murder, trespassing (
UMP: "That's awful."
Dean: "Yes, awful... in... deed..."
UMP: "Are you eyeing me up?!"
Dean:
UMP:
So Tal'Set has been charged with mass murder, cruelty to animals, trespassing (
UMP: "Mrs Set, I'm sorry we had to meet under this circumstances."
Martha: "Really? I'm not."
UMP: "What?! Why not?"
Martha: "Is, er... this going to be on TV? How's my hair look?"
UMP:
Martha:
UMP: "So what's your opinion on Tal's crimes against society?"
Martha: "Oh, come on! He gives a few dinosaurs some cuts and bruises and that makes him a criminal?"
UMP: "Well... he did kind of... mutilate them."
Martha: "Did he?"
UMP: "Well... yes."
Martha: "Oh, right then. Lock the little
UMP:
The list of Tal'Set's supposed crimes has just been released to the press, and we are glad to announce that we are the fir... er, sec.... no, thirteenth people to show it to the public. Here it is in all of its' gruesome glory. Look away if you're squeamish.
- Butchering numerous Velociraptors with a club-like object.
- Causing noise pollution (ie. running and shouting) and disturbing the local Triceratops.
- Trespassing on the grounds of *cough* Lord Tyrannus.
- Mutilating many of the Lost Lands' endangered species, including deer, baboons, crocodiles and Tyrannosaurus.
- Numerous bloody murders of the Sleg Empire.
- Carrying class 1-1000 weapons, including the illegal Dark Matter Cube.
- Pulling up rare flowers in the jungle.
- The poaching of Stegosaurus.
- Fishing for Kronosaurs without a licence.
So things look bleak for Turok, with even his own mother abandondeding him, which must be a truly sad occurrance to such a *cough* noble warrior. However; with a trial imminent and the hefty charge of trespassing (
STOP PRESS!!
Latest news! Tal'Set has escaped police custordy and is currently on the run. Sgt Dean O'Saur gave this speech today:
"We have just recieved word that the well-known criminal, Tal'Set, has escaped police custordy and is now at large. Now... we all know how dangerous he is... and we, the LLPD, are issuing the public with a warning. If you see this man, do not - DO NOT - approach him. He is very dangerous, and we seriously believe that he has a mental illness. We are also issuing all members of the public with sniper rifles for their own protection, and the Chief of LLPD has said to shoot Tal'Set on sight. Thank you."
So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Tal'Set, a fugitive... and I, for one, am stunned at the events we have witnessed here today. Goodnight.