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CIA Intelligence reports “Afghanistan very hot and arid”
Following months of covert surveillance and super-secret intel missions, CIA mouthpiece Frank Costello delivered his report to an eager and salivating Bush.
“We spent millions on top-secret research and stuff and have realised Afghanistan is too inhospitable for summer vacation destination”
Following recent US intervention in tropical areas such as Grenada, El Salvador, and the former Yugoslavia (temperate but some lovely scenery), US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld admitted that the “war on terror” had “Failed to meet it’s expected goal of removing Bin Laden and toppling the Al-Queda network”.
In a statement, Rumsfeld continued “It’s a big country. And dusty. And Bin Laden keeps moving around and hiding in caves, it’s not fair really. So we decided to scale down the hunt for what Bush originally labeled ‘the most evil man alive’ and have ensured that the 8 Special Forces members left there walk about shouting “Bin Laden please come out now”. We are positive that he will stand up and mock them, then we shall apprehend him.”
Bush went on to explain the difficulties on “smashing the terror network Al-Queda”:
“Well, they’re everywhere. And some of them pretend to be other people and stuff. We ask them if they’re terrorists and everyone says no. It’s hard as hell and frankly I’m bored of it now. Bin Laden is an evil man, but he is an evil man we cannot find. Hussein however, we know where that guy is at and we’re going to take him down. Mark my words”
Major General Smythe-Thompson, head of UN Peacekeeping said “It’s true, Bin Laden is proving very difficult to find. So we’re not going to bother, once he realises we’ve all gone home with the hump then he’ll come out to play. It’s one thing to be able to read car-license plates from space with our satellite technology, it’s quite another to find a living person in a country with almost zero buildings and negligible population areas. And they wear brown, so you have to squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Vice President Dick Chaney spoke about the struggle to locate Bin Laden.
“Look man, everyone has a beard over there. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And what Bush called ‘the very definition of swift justice’ was relying on Bin Laden fighting like a man, not hiding like a small boy that doesn’t want a spank. We didn’t factor in problems like the target hiding underground. That’s why we dropped more ordinance in 2 weeks than the entire Gulf War. Did he come out and say sorry? No. So we’re taking our ball and going home.”
Evil Despot Saddam Hussein released the following statement concerning the imminent invasion of Iraq by US forces meekly supported by 18 British Army personnel:
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Nato has examined the statement and refuses to comment.
Following months of covert surveillance and super-secret intel missions, CIA mouthpiece Frank Costello delivered his report to an eager and salivating Bush.
“We spent millions on top-secret research and stuff and have realised Afghanistan is too inhospitable for summer vacation destination”
Following recent US intervention in tropical areas such as Grenada, El Salvador, and the former Yugoslavia (temperate but some lovely scenery), US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld admitted that the “war on terror” had “Failed to meet it’s expected goal of removing Bin Laden and toppling the Al-Queda network”.
In a statement, Rumsfeld continued “It’s a big country. And dusty. And Bin Laden keeps moving around and hiding in caves, it’s not fair really. So we decided to scale down the hunt for what Bush originally labeled ‘the most evil man alive’ and have ensured that the 8 Special Forces members left there walk about shouting “Bin Laden please come out now”. We are positive that he will stand up and mock them, then we shall apprehend him.”
Bush went on to explain the difficulties on “smashing the terror network Al-Queda”:
“Well, they’re everywhere. And some of them pretend to be other people and stuff. We ask them if they’re terrorists and everyone says no. It’s hard as hell and frankly I’m bored of it now. Bin Laden is an evil man, but he is an evil man we cannot find. Hussein however, we know where that guy is at and we’re going to take him down. Mark my words”
Major General Smythe-Thompson, head of UN Peacekeeping said “It’s true, Bin Laden is proving very difficult to find. So we’re not going to bother, once he realises we’ve all gone home with the hump then he’ll come out to play. It’s one thing to be able to read car-license plates from space with our satellite technology, it’s quite another to find a living person in a country with almost zero buildings and negligible population areas. And they wear brown, so you have to squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Vice President Dick Chaney spoke about the struggle to locate Bin Laden.
“Look man, everyone has a beard over there. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And what Bush called ‘the very definition of swift justice’ was relying on Bin Laden fighting like a man, not hiding like a small boy that doesn’t want a spank. We didn’t factor in problems like the target hiding underground. That’s why we dropped more ordinance in 2 weeks than the entire Gulf War. Did he come out and say sorry? No. So we’re taking our ball and going home.”
Evil Despot Saddam Hussein released the following statement concerning the imminent invasion of Iraq by US forces meekly supported by 18 British Army personnel:
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Nato has examined the statement and refuses to comment.
Despite a lot of you knowing my thoughts on the whole war of terror, I have to admit this is pretty funny :) Well done on GAD !
~~Belldandy~~
~~Belldandy~~
Very, very good.
Everyone read this. or I'll strangle you with the hair on my troll doll.
Everyone read this. or I'll strangle you with the hair on my troll doll.
Yay, you won.
Top post Goaty.
Now I remember why I used to come on here everyday...
Now I remember why I used to come on here everyday...
Maybe Bush watched "Thunderbirds" and thought it was called "Die infidel", presumed Bin Laden had a base underneath the swimming pool and just wanted to "be sure"
Off topic maybe, but I always found it quite funny that the only swimming pool in the whole of Afghanistan was owned by the Taliban leader Mullar Omar, and it was one of the US's bombing targets.
Goatboy wrote:
> And they wear brown, so you have to
> squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Thats so funny in so many ways :)
> And they wear brown, so you have to
> squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Thats so funny in so many ways :)
CIA Intelligence reports “Afghanistan very hot and arid”
Following months of covert surveillance and super-secret intel missions, CIA mouthpiece Frank Costello delivered his report to an eager and salivating Bush.
“We spent millions on top-secret research and stuff and have realised Afghanistan is too inhospitable for summer vacation destination”
Following recent US intervention in tropical areas such as Grenada, El Salvador, and the former Yugoslavia (temperate but some lovely scenery), US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld admitted that the “war on terror” had “Failed to meet it’s expected goal of removing Bin Laden and toppling the Al-Queda network”.
In a statement, Rumsfeld continued “It’s a big country. And dusty. And Bin Laden keeps moving around and hiding in caves, it’s not fair really. So we decided to scale down the hunt for what Bush originally labeled ‘the most evil man alive’ and have ensured that the 8 Special Forces members left there walk about shouting “Bin Laden please come out now”. We are positive that he will stand up and mock them, then we shall apprehend him.”
Bush went on to explain the difficulties on “smashing the terror network Al-Queda”:
“Well, they’re everywhere. And some of them pretend to be other people and stuff. We ask them if they’re terrorists and everyone says no. It’s hard as hell and frankly I’m bored of it now. Bin Laden is an evil man, but he is an evil man we cannot find. Hussein however, we know where that guy is at and we’re going to take him down. Mark my words”
Major General Smythe-Thompson, head of UN Peacekeeping said “It’s true, Bin Laden is proving very difficult to find. So we’re not going to bother, once he realises we’ve all gone home with the hump then he’ll come out to play. It’s one thing to be able to read car-license plates from space with our satellite technology, it’s quite another to find a living person in a country with almost zero buildings and negligible population areas. And they wear brown, so you have to squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Vice President Dick Chaney spoke about the struggle to locate Bin Laden.
“Look man, everyone has a beard over there. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And what Bush called ‘the very definition of swift justice’ was relying on Bin Laden fighting like a man, not hiding like a small boy that doesn’t want a spank. We didn’t factor in problems like the target hiding underground. That’s why we dropped more ordinance in 2 weeks than the entire Gulf War. Did he come out and say sorry? No. So we’re taking our ball and going home.”
Evil Despot Saddam Hussein released the following statement concerning the imminent invasion of Iraq by US forces meekly supported by 18 British Army personnel:
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Nato has examined the statement and refuses to comment.
Following months of covert surveillance and super-secret intel missions, CIA mouthpiece Frank Costello delivered his report to an eager and salivating Bush.
“We spent millions on top-secret research and stuff and have realised Afghanistan is too inhospitable for summer vacation destination”
Following recent US intervention in tropical areas such as Grenada, El Salvador, and the former Yugoslavia (temperate but some lovely scenery), US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld admitted that the “war on terror” had “Failed to meet it’s expected goal of removing Bin Laden and toppling the Al-Queda network”.
In a statement, Rumsfeld continued “It’s a big country. And dusty. And Bin Laden keeps moving around and hiding in caves, it’s not fair really. So we decided to scale down the hunt for what Bush originally labeled ‘the most evil man alive’ and have ensured that the 8 Special Forces members left there walk about shouting “Bin Laden please come out now”. We are positive that he will stand up and mock them, then we shall apprehend him.”
Bush went on to explain the difficulties on “smashing the terror network Al-Queda”:
“Well, they’re everywhere. And some of them pretend to be other people and stuff. We ask them if they’re terrorists and everyone says no. It’s hard as hell and frankly I’m bored of it now. Bin Laden is an evil man, but he is an evil man we cannot find. Hussein however, we know where that guy is at and we’re going to take him down. Mark my words”
Major General Smythe-Thompson, head of UN Peacekeeping said “It’s true, Bin Laden is proving very difficult to find. So we’re not going to bother, once he realises we’ve all gone home with the hump then he’ll come out to play. It’s one thing to be able to read car-license plates from space with our satellite technology, it’s quite another to find a living person in a country with almost zero buildings and negligible population areas. And they wear brown, so you have to squint a lot to even see if it’s a person or a reporter”
Vice President Dick Chaney spoke about the struggle to locate Bin Laden.
“Look man, everyone has a beard over there. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And what Bush called ‘the very definition of swift justice’ was relying on Bin Laden fighting like a man, not hiding like a small boy that doesn’t want a spank. We didn’t factor in problems like the target hiding underground. That’s why we dropped more ordinance in 2 weeks than the entire Gulf War. Did he come out and say sorry? No. So we’re taking our ball and going home.”
Evil Despot Saddam Hussein released the following statement concerning the imminent invasion of Iraq by US forces meekly supported by 18 British Army personnel:
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Nato has examined the statement and refuses to comment.