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"Osama bin Laden spotted making guest appearance on Friends"

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Wed 25/09/02 at 00:16
Regular
Posts: 787
OSAMA BIN LADEN SPOTTED MAKING GUEST APPEARANCE IN FRIENDS:

Osama bin Laden, plotter of the September 11th attacks on America and head of terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda, has finally been spotted by American Intelligence, after making a walk-on appearance on popular ABC sitcom Friends on Monday night. The episode, entitled The One With The Mis-Delivered Sandwich was centred around character Joey's appeals to his next-door neighbour to get his sandwich back, after a delivery mix-up.

Bin Laden made his appearance just before the ad break, playing Joey's next-door neighbour, Mr. Malhami. After Joey had mistakenly ordered his sandwich (containing meatballs and three kinds of cheese) to number 12 instead of the correct address, 12A, the door was answered by a weak-looking bin Laden, who gratefully accepted the sandwich before blessing the delivery boy and assuring him his place next to Allah in paradise was guaranteed. Bin Laden then looked into the camera and japed "I will bring destruction to the West, Praise Be to Allah," before slamming the door in the delivery boy's face, to hoots of applause from the whooping audience.

Upon confronting Mr. Malhami upon the whereabouts of his sandwich, Joey, played by Matt LeBlanc, demanded his sandwich be returned, only to be met with derision from the most wanted man in the world. “Begone, American infidel,” said the wizened Bin Laden, “your sandwich belongs to Al-Qaeda now.” Joey then looked over his neighbour’s shoulder to see his sandwich sitting intact on a table full of blueprints, and made a surprised face which show insiders claim is supposed to represent ‘Joey’s resentment that his sandwich is not in his possession.’

Other characters in the show, including Jennifer Aniston's Rachel Green and Matthew Perry's Chandler Bing discussed the rudeness with which the hunted Arab had dispatched their slow-witted friend. "That guy was, like, totally out of line," quipped Rachel. "Yeah," said Perry's Bing, "and did you see the length of his beard? Could he look any more like the leader of an extremist terrorist organisation hunted by the majority of the world's police?"

The show was drawn to a conclusion when Joey, aided by pal Ross (played by David Schwimmer), crept into Mr. Malhami's apartment when he left for an afternoon bagel to get the sandwich back, only to find the sandwich company had got his order wrong and filled the snack with salad instead of meat and dairy products. Bin Laden's character then arrived back at his apartment to be met with the two halfwits, and claimed "By the Great God [Allah], may you be struck down by the full force of Al-Qaeda's military power, and lose the use of your puny American legs." Joey and Ross then bumbled their way out of the apartment, making their moronic excuses to the delight of the watching audience. Bin Laden then shook his head, picked up the sandwich, took a bite, then threw it into the bin with a disgusted look on his face. "Yeuch, I hate salad almost as much as I hate you American dogs," he said, as the closing credits began to run.

According to behind the scenes staff on Friends, Bin Laden was a constant source of humour off-set, constantly making jokes and pulling pranks on fellow cast members. "We just thought of him as one of the guys," said grip Davey Mendoza, claiming "he'd be constantly running to the cast's trailers between scenes, asking if anyone wanted a quick game of racketball or wanted to help him torture an American spy he just found messing around in his cave. He was a real team player, and we'd love to have him back again." Executive Producer Lawrence Kassdan agreed. "Osama was a real hoot, that time he pretended to be putting a car bomb under Lisa Kudrow's Pinto, we couldn't start the next scene without falling about laughing," he said. "Lisa slept at her mother's all week, it was a fantastic gag."

TV experts reckon that Bin Laden may have a promising career ahead of him if he continues to evade arrest or death. "The Friends guest appearance is usually just a slot for ageing comedians who need to plug their new book or withered old actors to show they can still cut it with the young guns, but Osama really shone," said TV Weekly's Suzanne Waahlman. "I forsee a sitcom set deep in the caves of Afghanistan if bin Laden is game," she added. "And even he gets captured and arrested, maybe he could feature in a gritty American prison soap, a la Oz. Heck, if Robert Downey Jr. can appear in Ally McBeal, I see no reason why the American government shouldn't grant bin Laden the right to make appearances in shows like Frasier, or to a lesser extent, The Drew Carey Show," she concluded. "With the money there's to be made with voice-overs on cartoons and commercials these days, he could have his gang back up and running in no time."

"After months of surveillance and over a year's worth of various leads, we believe we finally have some solid information to work with regarding the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden," said FBI chairman Jack Peeley. "At approximately 8.07pm on Monday night, our satellite picked up images of bin Laden in a condo in mid-New York, conversing with 6 young, attractive friends. We believe these individuals may also be members of the Al-Qaeda organisation, and we are looking into their top secret, yet hilarious FBI files."
Wed 25/09/02 at 21:11
Posts: 0
Drunk Cow wrote:
> Dead Cow wrote:
> Wicked Post!
>
>
> DEAD COW!!!!!
>
> He must of drank too much. Where did you came from never ssen you
> around these parts. You said wicked, are you american? tell me I must
> communicate with my own kind.

No sorry mate, i do go for 3 weeks 4 times a year though so i've picked up a few "American" words Wouldn't that be cool though two American cows!
Wed 25/09/02 at 21:06
Regular
"sweats salad dressi"
Posts: 4,599
Dead Cow wrote:
> Wicked Post!


DEAD COW!!!!!

He must of drank too much. Where did you came from never ssen you around these parts. You said wicked, are you american? tell me I must communicate with my own kind.
Wed 25/09/02 at 21:03
Posts: 0
Wicked Post!
Wed 25/09/02 at 20:59
Moderator
"possibly impossible"
Posts: 24,985
lol, this made my lunch hour at work. Big pat on the back for Snuggly (and someone get that cow out of the office..)
Wed 25/09/02 at 18:16
"The Will of D."
Posts: 5,643
It's weird... that's the first time a staffie has started a topic on my watch. Plus also great job, but don't forget that we should be earning the GAD's not you that's greedy.
Wed 25/09/02 at 18:06
Regular
"Too Orangy For Crow"
Posts: 15,844
Heh, excellent. May I ask how long it took to write this up and how long it was stewing in that brain of yours?
Wed 25/09/02 at 18:05
Regular
"Unknown Legend"
Posts: 305
Nice Post, go give yourself a GAD :P
Wed 25/09/02 at 17:51
Regular
"I'm Back!!"
Posts: 1,973
pron his twin.. Ben Laden.. dount he's be on friends in new york!?!
Wed 25/09/02 at 15:18
Regular
Posts: 18,775
Heh, cool.
Wed 25/09/02 at 15:05
Regular
"5 European Cups!!!"
Posts: 5,795
Mr.Snuggly wrote:

> Osama bin Laden, plotter of the September 11th attacks on America and
> head of terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda, has finally been spotted by
> American Intelligence...

"American Intelligence"? I didn't know there was such a thing...

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