Viewing Thread:
"Jim'll fix it"

Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to be in a proper game? I mean having my own mansion was alright, but everyone that played the game got annoyed with me, and said they finished it too quickly. I only agreed to do it as I thought it would help my career as a gaming icon, but I don't even get a sodding role in Super Mario Sunshine. After all I did for him, you'd think I'd be allowed to help him on his latest adventure, wouldn't you?

So Jim, please can you fix it for me to be in a proper game with guns and stuff? Something like Metal Gear Solid, yeah, that would be good. I could do the whole stealth thing. And get me some girls too, nakid ones. Yep, guns and girls please Jim.

Thanks

Luigi.

Luigi,

Now then, now then Luigi, have patience. How long did it take to get yourself a starring role in the first place? You can't hope to replace your brother over night. You'll just have to relax in the knowledge that I always pick you for Mario Party.

Jim



Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to get some representation? I was in one of the best games of the last era, and nobody cares. Conker's Bad Fur Day was a great game, but Nintendo didn't do a thing for me. No, they swept the game under the carpet, let it slip out, then got angry when stupid old ladies complained that their little kids had seen such a dirty game on a Nintendo console. So Jim, can you fix it for me to get a better deal next time? Let people know I've got a game, and maybe then more people will buy it, and I won't end up in the game characters retirement home.

Thanks

Conker

Conker,

Now then, now then, look what your uncle Jim has done for you! I've arranged for Microsoft to take on your creators, Rare, so maybe you'll find a more welcome home there. Either that or nobody will buy your next game, as we've all heard that these types of games are for kids?

Jim




Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to have a change of image? I've looked this way for a number of years now, and I fear that I'll end up featuring in another game that turns into nothing more than a collect-athon, featuring a bunch of my dumb 'friends'. I'm not sure that I can stomach another quest like that, it might end up with me going back to my kidnapping ways.

Donkey Kong

D.K.

Ay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay don't you worry my furry little friend, help is at hand. Rare were responsible for dragging you out of the history of gaming, and updating you, but, you ungrateful ape, they've lost you now, and you've fallen back to the warm breast of Nintendo. They reckon they'll work on a game with you in again, but they said that after Donkey Kong 3....

Jim

They could make a MGS style game where Luigi has to hunt down and kill every other gaming character until he is the only one left. That would solve his problem.

er-no wrote:
> Yeah! I wanna see Donkey Kong angry.


I wanna see your Q beneath my TV.

Brilliant post.

Yeah! I wanna see Donkey Kong angry. With bloodshot eyes and foam at the mouth.

THAT. WOULD. RULE.

Even have the name:

'Donkey Kong : WarmBlood'

Quality.

Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to have a visit from that nice celebrity hairdresser, Nicky Clarke. I've seen the wonderful things he can do on Richard and Judy (TV's not the same now they're gone). I'm starting to despair that I'll be stuck with this mullet forever. They all laugh at me behind my back, I'm sure of it.

Thanks,

Solid Snake.

Not bad, Meka.

Damn Luigi ungratefull pervert **mumbles away in angry manner**

PS Great post Meka :D

Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to be in a proper game? I mean having my own mansion was alright, but everyone that played the game got annoyed with me, and said they finished it too quickly. I only agreed to do it as I thought it would help my career as a gaming icon, but I don't even get a sodding role in Super Mario Sunshine. After all I did for him, you'd think I'd be allowed to help him on his latest adventure, wouldn't you?

So Jim, please can you fix it for me to be in a proper game with guns and stuff? Something like Metal Gear Solid, yeah, that would be good. I could do the whole stealth thing. And get me some girls too, nakid ones. Yep, guns and girls please Jim.

Thanks

Luigi.

Luigi,

Now then, now then Luigi, have patience. How long did it take to get yourself a starring role in the first place? You can't hope to replace your brother over night. You'll just have to relax in the knowledge that I always pick you for Mario Party.

Jim



Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to get some representation? I was in one of the best games of the last era, and nobody cares. Conker's Bad Fur Day was a great game, but Nintendo didn't do a thing for me. No, they swept the game under the carpet, let it slip out, then got angry when stupid old ladies complained that their little kids had seen such a dirty game on a Nintendo console. So Jim, can you fix it for me to get a better deal next time? Let people know I've got a game, and maybe then more people will buy it, and I won't end up in the game characters retirement home.

Thanks

Conker

Conker,

Now then, now then, look what your uncle Jim has done for you! I've arranged for Microsoft to take on your creators, Rare, so maybe you'll find a more welcome home there. Either that or nobody will buy your next game, as we've all heard that these types of games are for kids?

Jim




Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to have a change of image? I've looked this way for a number of years now, and I fear that I'll end up featuring in another game that turns into nothing more than a collect-athon, featuring a bunch of my dumb 'friends'. I'm not sure that I can stomach another quest like that, it might end up with me going back to my kidnapping ways.

Donkey Kong

D.K.

Ay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay don't you worry my furry little friend, help is at hand. Rare were responsible for dragging you out of the history of gaming, and updating you, but, you ungrateful ape, they've lost you now, and you've fallen back to the warm breast of Nintendo. They reckon they'll work on a game with you in again, but they said that after Donkey Kong 3....

Jim