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with tunes of peace and comfort
as the hills they shape the world
with the grass so soft and green
and the trees so tall they are
thier many branches touch the sky
where the clouds a many all over
they take many shape anf form of all kinds
on the grounds squirels run
up trees and bushes its so much fun
sometimes the come to me as i sit
to sit and watch
as they eat
and from afar i see
a small pond
of a million sparkling diamonds
spread all over
and in this momnet of bliss i forget everything
nothing can be bother me
i can taste heaven
but now its gone
it was all so fast
what felt so real was only a dream
sometimes i go there
to get away
from the pain
but it doesnt last long
before it goes away
but in that moment
i feel free
it makes me feel alive
coz then i know that im not dead
i think ill go back to bed
> *smiles at the last line*
>
> A bit more time spent on it and that could be pretty damn good
> salvatore, I liked the description of millions of diamonds, and the
> bit about tasting heaven. Just work on the presentation a little (the
> structure of the poem), but then again I'm crap at poems, so don't
> listen to me. :D
heh thanks Ant. I know what you mean about the presentation, usually when i get inspierd i just write them out and post them. Ill try to work on them more as i write them :)
A bit more time spent on it and that could be pretty damn good salvatore, I liked the description of millions of diamonds, and the bit about tasting heaven. Just work on the presentation a little (the structure of the poem), but then again I'm crap at poems, so don't listen to me. :D
with tunes of peace and comfort
as the hills they shape the world
with the grass so soft and green
and the trees so tall they are
thier many branches touch the sky
where the clouds a many all over
they take many shape anf form of all kinds
on the grounds squirels run
up trees and bushes its so much fun
sometimes the come to me as i sit
to sit and watch
as they eat
and from afar i see
a small pond
of a million sparkling diamonds
spread all over
and in this momnet of bliss i forget everything
nothing can be bother me
i can taste heaven
but now its gone
it was all so fast
what felt so real was only a dream
sometimes i go there
to get away
from the pain
but it doesnt last long
before it goes away
but in that moment
i feel free
it makes me feel alive
coz then i know that im not dead
i think ill go back to bed