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Me like most people my age have a job, and like most that job is a paper boy. But why do we do it? Is it the money? The exercise? Or Carla, 21 from London studying animal biology at uni who wants to be a vet and likes going out with mates and drinking hot coco infront of an open fire.
Though no matter how many plus points there are there is always some down points. And may I just say delivering papers is one of the most dangerous and corrupt jobs there is. So today I’m going to take you through some of those dangers starting with…
Attack of the letterboxes
You got a letterbox right? You’d say it was a good letterbox, a nice letterbox. What you don’t know is that they are creations of Satan, daemons in natural form and here’s the proof. Its Sunday morning and I’m walking along, I go into a garden, pull a paper from the bag, push it through the letter box and… wham! Stabs straight into my middle finger slicing off the top layer of skin. (you may think that must of hurt, but wait there’s more) I try to pull it out by opening the letterbox again when the paper drops onto the floor, releases the flap and wham! Right into my finger again! It begins to bleed and then the woman opens the door dragging my finger along. And after all that she has a go at me from getting blood on her carpet.
Other times I’ve had my hand stuck in one for 20 minutes and once I broke a flap off and it dropped on my foot. Still think it’s a nice harmless thing?
Gates
But not just gates, gates with springs. As most paperboys (paper people if you’re one of those sad politically correct monkeys) will know at Christmas you get tips and you get bigger tips if you do things like deliver them on time or shut gates. However some people don’t trust us and put springs on they’re gates so when they open they shut automatically afterwards. What happens if you open the gate but don’t move fast enough? Yes that right, it hits into you and feels as though someone’s shot you.
This actually happened to me today. I walked into a garden, avoided ripping my hand off, delivered the paper and opened gate, went to walk out and then… the damn thing sprang back and stabbed me in the back.
Dogs
What can I say? They bite, they don’t like me, they bite me, they bite my fingers (probally because they smell of blood after cutting them on the letterbox) end of story.
Weather
This is it the big one. Hell on earth, a hole in my pocket, the thorn in my side. THE WEATHER IS EVIL! Be it sun, rain, snow or wind it can never be just right.
Sun – you think its gonna be really cold so you put a jumper and a coat on. You get to the shop and its cold, get the papers and then the sun shines and shines and shines. You become so sweaty and hot that you don’t have enough energy to lift the papers (very bad indeed) and for the rest of the day your exhausted.
Rain – basically you get wet, your papers get wet (and 9 out of 10 times you catch a cold).
Wind – so much fun. Walking down the road with a paper in your hands and the wind blows (for the next few minutes you have to chase it down the road) then you have to put it together with the pages in order.
Snow – the daddy of weather. I can’t say much so I’ll tell you a short story that happened at Christmas. I was riding down a hill in my bike and pressed the brakes (big mistake) as it was snowing. I skidded down the road for about 20m before flipping off my bike and cracking my head open on a wall.
That is why I hate the weather.
So next time you see one give them a pat on the back, or a thumbs up, even just a smile (unless you have a long bushy mustache and walk around in a trench coat, in that case just try not to frighten them)
Still think that being a paperboy is easy?
-think again-
Though no matter how many plus points there are there is always some down points. And may I just say delivering papers is one of the most dangerous and corrupt jobs there is. So today I’m going to take you through some of those dangers starting with…
Attack of the letterboxes
You got a letterbox right? You’d say it was a good letterbox, a nice letterbox. What you don’t know is that they are creations of Satan, daemons in natural form and here’s the proof. Its Sunday morning and I’m walking along, I go into a garden, pull a paper from the bag, push it through the letter box and… wham! Stabs straight into my middle finger slicing off the top layer of skin. (you may think that must of hurt, but wait there’s more) I try to pull it out by opening the letterbox again when the paper drops onto the floor, releases the flap and wham! Right into my finger again! It begins to bleed and then the woman opens the door dragging my finger along. And after all that she has a go at me from getting blood on her carpet.
Other times I’ve had my hand stuck in one for 20 minutes and once I broke a flap off and it dropped on my foot. Still think it’s a nice harmless thing?
Gates
But not just gates, gates with springs. As most paperboys (paper people if you’re one of those sad politically correct monkeys) will know at Christmas you get tips and you get bigger tips if you do things like deliver them on time or shut gates. However some people don’t trust us and put springs on they’re gates so when they open they shut automatically afterwards. What happens if you open the gate but don’t move fast enough? Yes that right, it hits into you and feels as though someone’s shot you.
This actually happened to me today. I walked into a garden, avoided ripping my hand off, delivered the paper and opened gate, went to walk out and then… the damn thing sprang back and stabbed me in the back.
Dogs
What can I say? They bite, they don’t like me, they bite me, they bite my fingers (probally because they smell of blood after cutting them on the letterbox) end of story.
Weather
This is it the big one. Hell on earth, a hole in my pocket, the thorn in my side. THE WEATHER IS EVIL! Be it sun, rain, snow or wind it can never be just right.
Sun – you think its gonna be really cold so you put a jumper and a coat on. You get to the shop and its cold, get the papers and then the sun shines and shines and shines. You become so sweaty and hot that you don’t have enough energy to lift the papers (very bad indeed) and for the rest of the day your exhausted.
Rain – basically you get wet, your papers get wet (and 9 out of 10 times you catch a cold).
Wind – so much fun. Walking down the road with a paper in your hands and the wind blows (for the next few minutes you have to chase it down the road) then you have to put it together with the pages in order.
Snow – the daddy of weather. I can’t say much so I’ll tell you a short story that happened at Christmas. I was riding down a hill in my bike and pressed the brakes (big mistake) as it was snowing. I skidded down the road for about 20m before flipping off my bike and cracking my head open on a wall.
That is why I hate the weather.
So next time you see one give them a pat on the back, or a thumbs up, even just a smile (unless you have a long bushy mustache and walk around in a trench coat, in that case just try not to frighten them)
Still think that being a paperboy is easy?
-think again-
sorry Mystique, paper persons.
but your right, old people are evil and very crazy.
i delivered a paper to the wrong house once and on the way back to the shop relised what i'd done. i went back and knocked on the door, a old man opened the door and i asked him for the paper.
we argued for around 5 minutes and in the end he just shut the door as he said it was in his house so it was his paper now.
(reminded me of that old guy from friends who walks about in a pyjamas and stole that monkey)
but your right, old people are evil and very crazy.
i delivered a paper to the wrong house once and on the way back to the shop relised what i'd done. i went back and knocked on the door, a old man opened the door and i asked him for the paper.
we argued for around 5 minutes and in the end he just shut the door as he said it was in his house so it was his paper now.
(reminded me of that old guy from friends who walks about in a pyjamas and stole that monkey)
I done a paperound for three years (yes I was a right pro) everyone loved me, the weather was a right un. It would be tipping it down with rain and you would have to go out in it to do your round so you wouldn't be late for school. Gah.
My school used to start at 9 and I never used to finish unil at least 20 to. Heh heh.
My school used to start at 9 and I never used to finish unil at least 20 to. Heh heh.
It's Paperperson
:op
You forgot old people.
I remember helping my mate do her round and we got attacked by this old woman because she doesn't like the free newspapers.
Crazy old bint.
:op
You forgot old people.
I remember helping my mate do her round and we got attacked by this old woman because she doesn't like the free newspapers.
Crazy old bint.
I had a paper round but only lasted 1 week it was my second day on the job and i was just posting the paper when i looked behind me there was this massive dog snarling at me i thought my life was over but then the owner of the dog came out aand got the dog in, i wanted to quit the round but the paper man woulden't let me, so i worked till the end of the week then i just didn't turn up.
Me like most people my age have a job, and like most that job is a paper boy. But why do we do it? Is it the money? The exercise? Or Carla, 21 from London studying animal biology at uni who wants to be a vet and likes going out with mates and drinking hot coco infront of an open fire.
Though no matter how many plus points there are there is always some down points. And may I just say delivering papers is one of the most dangerous and corrupt jobs there is. So today I’m going to take you through some of those dangers starting with…
Attack of the letterboxes
You got a letterbox right? You’d say it was a good letterbox, a nice letterbox. What you don’t know is that they are creations of Satan, daemons in natural form and here’s the proof. Its Sunday morning and I’m walking along, I go into a garden, pull a paper from the bag, push it through the letter box and… wham! Stabs straight into my middle finger slicing off the top layer of skin. (you may think that must of hurt, but wait there’s more) I try to pull it out by opening the letterbox again when the paper drops onto the floor, releases the flap and wham! Right into my finger again! It begins to bleed and then the woman opens the door dragging my finger along. And after all that she has a go at me from getting blood on her carpet.
Other times I’ve had my hand stuck in one for 20 minutes and once I broke a flap off and it dropped on my foot. Still think it’s a nice harmless thing?
Gates
But not just gates, gates with springs. As most paperboys (paper people if you’re one of those sad politically correct monkeys) will know at Christmas you get tips and you get bigger tips if you do things like deliver them on time or shut gates. However some people don’t trust us and put springs on they’re gates so when they open they shut automatically afterwards. What happens if you open the gate but don’t move fast enough? Yes that right, it hits into you and feels as though someone’s shot you.
This actually happened to me today. I walked into a garden, avoided ripping my hand off, delivered the paper and opened gate, went to walk out and then… the damn thing sprang back and stabbed me in the back.
Dogs
What can I say? They bite, they don’t like me, they bite me, they bite my fingers (probally because they smell of blood after cutting them on the letterbox) end of story.
Weather
This is it the big one. Hell on earth, a hole in my pocket, the thorn in my side. THE WEATHER IS EVIL! Be it sun, rain, snow or wind it can never be just right.
Sun – you think its gonna be really cold so you put a jumper and a coat on. You get to the shop and its cold, get the papers and then the sun shines and shines and shines. You become so sweaty and hot that you don’t have enough energy to lift the papers (very bad indeed) and for the rest of the day your exhausted.
Rain – basically you get wet, your papers get wet (and 9 out of 10 times you catch a cold).
Wind – so much fun. Walking down the road with a paper in your hands and the wind blows (for the next few minutes you have to chase it down the road) then you have to put it together with the pages in order.
Snow – the daddy of weather. I can’t say much so I’ll tell you a short story that happened at Christmas. I was riding down a hill in my bike and pressed the brakes (big mistake) as it was snowing. I skidded down the road for about 20m before flipping off my bike and cracking my head open on a wall.
That is why I hate the weather.
So next time you see one give them a pat on the back, or a thumbs up, even just a smile (unless you have a long bushy mustache and walk around in a trench coat, in that case just try not to frighten them)
Still think that being a paperboy is easy?
-think again-
Though no matter how many plus points there are there is always some down points. And may I just say delivering papers is one of the most dangerous and corrupt jobs there is. So today I’m going to take you through some of those dangers starting with…
Attack of the letterboxes
You got a letterbox right? You’d say it was a good letterbox, a nice letterbox. What you don’t know is that they are creations of Satan, daemons in natural form and here’s the proof. Its Sunday morning and I’m walking along, I go into a garden, pull a paper from the bag, push it through the letter box and… wham! Stabs straight into my middle finger slicing off the top layer of skin. (you may think that must of hurt, but wait there’s more) I try to pull it out by opening the letterbox again when the paper drops onto the floor, releases the flap and wham! Right into my finger again! It begins to bleed and then the woman opens the door dragging my finger along. And after all that she has a go at me from getting blood on her carpet.
Other times I’ve had my hand stuck in one for 20 minutes and once I broke a flap off and it dropped on my foot. Still think it’s a nice harmless thing?
Gates
But not just gates, gates with springs. As most paperboys (paper people if you’re one of those sad politically correct monkeys) will know at Christmas you get tips and you get bigger tips if you do things like deliver them on time or shut gates. However some people don’t trust us and put springs on they’re gates so when they open they shut automatically afterwards. What happens if you open the gate but don’t move fast enough? Yes that right, it hits into you and feels as though someone’s shot you.
This actually happened to me today. I walked into a garden, avoided ripping my hand off, delivered the paper and opened gate, went to walk out and then… the damn thing sprang back and stabbed me in the back.
Dogs
What can I say? They bite, they don’t like me, they bite me, they bite my fingers (probally because they smell of blood after cutting them on the letterbox) end of story.
Weather
This is it the big one. Hell on earth, a hole in my pocket, the thorn in my side. THE WEATHER IS EVIL! Be it sun, rain, snow or wind it can never be just right.
Sun – you think its gonna be really cold so you put a jumper and a coat on. You get to the shop and its cold, get the papers and then the sun shines and shines and shines. You become so sweaty and hot that you don’t have enough energy to lift the papers (very bad indeed) and for the rest of the day your exhausted.
Rain – basically you get wet, your papers get wet (and 9 out of 10 times you catch a cold).
Wind – so much fun. Walking down the road with a paper in your hands and the wind blows (for the next few minutes you have to chase it down the road) then you have to put it together with the pages in order.
Snow – the daddy of weather. I can’t say much so I’ll tell you a short story that happened at Christmas. I was riding down a hill in my bike and pressed the brakes (big mistake) as it was snowing. I skidded down the road for about 20m before flipping off my bike and cracking my head open on a wall.
That is why I hate the weather.
So next time you see one give them a pat on the back, or a thumbs up, even just a smile (unless you have a long bushy mustache and walk around in a trench coat, in that case just try not to frighten them)
Still think that being a paperboy is easy?
-think again-