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Want your girl to become a pro gamer like yourself? Some would say it’s an impossible and daunting task, a girl interested in gaming? Interested in sitting in a dark room staring at the screen while you mash buttons on a control pad doesn’t sound like a thrilling night in but there are ways and after a lot of persuading (and maybe a promise of some “quality time” with one another) and hopefully she’ll give you a chance.
It can be done but you’ll need a little help, women are sensitive creatures and you must take your time to listen blah blah blah blah what time did you get in last night blah blah blah blah is that perfume I can smell on you?
OK you’ve been given the go ahead, you’d better make the most of it put away a night this won’t be a five minute job. First things first set it up so the computer and screen are the main focus, something most of your pro gamers have probably already done, tidy your pit and generally clean up, no one wants to see your Lara Croft posters, tear them down (careful mind, you want them back up right?). No other distractoins, force her to stare at the screen (use your lighting skills here to darken everything, now how did Perfect Dark do it?).
If you’re using a PC make sure it’s up to scratch and problem free, no crashes and you’ll need a meaty joystick, no cheap £4.99 job you got from the local Del Boy, if you want her interested buy something decent that she can get a feel for. Yes you can see it coming can’t you but let’s face it if she liked the feel she’s going to want to keep a hold of it, hell you can say “Now just grab hold of the joystick” then smirk and laugh away like your five years old again, maybe spark up a conversation over it, as long as it’s gaming talk it’s all good. Any other cheap sexual related comments are good just don’t delve into the damn right dirty otherwise you may offend and I think you know what the results will be.
Now sit her down, get her comfy got some snacks, crisps, sweets, sandwiches, drinks you don’t want her moving so don’t give her an excuse you want her staring at that screen with intent on loving! Choose your games wisely don’t throw her in at the deep end with a copy of Unreal Tournament, start off easy with something simple and colourful, girls like colour at this moment in time special effects and real time lighting aren’t going to impress. After a few plays she’ll be getting a feel for it all, now offer her a selection of games, ones you too enjoy, that way she’ll think she’s in control here when obviously you pre approved every game before hand and this is actually something you could do together.
Now me and you both know she is not going to be good at this, not in the slightest but even after the umpteenth time and falls into the lava trying to jump that one gap, DO NOT snatch up the pad and show her how its done, encourage, encourage, encourage. Once it’s done praise her for it and she will soon be interested. If you feel the need to laugh and mock her do so but only in your head, very important, do it out loud and your chances of actually sharing an interest with someone of the opposite sex are gone.
Tip; Girls like to play girls in games, Fact, choose a beat em up maybe, girls go for Chun Li’s flipping power like Chris Tucker says “Ya’ll”. Play against her for a while and as much as it might pain you, let her win it’ll boost her confidence, she beat you, you play all the time and she beat you! Shrug off the insults your plan is going perfectly.
Sooner or later she should start enjoying herself, tests prove that if you can do it you enjoy it no matter what it is it gives you a sense of power and this is what she will be feeling, it’s her first time she’s going to love it.
I must warn you though this may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, it could even come along the lines that time you superglued your head to the floor and walked around for a week with a piece of carpet hanging from your head and being called Rug Boy at school. She may get a little too interested in this, if you’re a casual gamer then she could become an obsessive gamer and any spare time she gets could be lost through her wanting to complete the next task on Rollercoaster Tycoon or worst comes to the worst she could even take up your gaming time, picture it you want to use the computer to finally beat that Tony Hawks but she’s playing and she’s saving over your data and then there’s the issue of money, who’s paying for all this, soon she’ll want broadband, know what you’re getting into you can’t reset this.
Plus there’s always the chance of her becoming too dependant on games, getting acne and burst out with one liners such as “I am Turok!” in her sleep.
So take your time over this, do you play games like it’s a religion? Do you really want your girlfriend to be a part of this? Should you keep her at distance, think about this, it’s up to you, you’ll be like two monkeys thrown in a cage with only one bannana between you and you’re not planning on sharing, do you really want this, you decide.
Thanks for reading
Starlight
It can be done but you’ll need a little help, women are sensitive creatures and you must take your time to listen blah blah blah blah what time did you get in last night blah blah blah blah is that perfume I can smell on you?
OK you’ve been given the go ahead, you’d better make the most of it put away a night this won’t be a five minute job. First things first set it up so the computer and screen are the main focus, something most of your pro gamers have probably already done, tidy your pit and generally clean up, no one wants to see your Lara Croft posters, tear them down (careful mind, you want them back up right?). No other distractoins, force her to stare at the screen (use your lighting skills here to darken everything, now how did Perfect Dark do it?).
If you’re using a PC make sure it’s up to scratch and problem free, no crashes and you’ll need a meaty joystick, no cheap £4.99 job you got from the local Del Boy, if you want her interested buy something decent that she can get a feel for. Yes you can see it coming can’t you but let’s face it if she liked the feel she’s going to want to keep a hold of it, hell you can say “Now just grab hold of the joystick” then smirk and laugh away like your five years old again, maybe spark up a conversation over it, as long as it’s gaming talk it’s all good. Any other cheap sexual related comments are good just don’t delve into the damn right dirty otherwise you may offend and I think you know what the results will be.
Now sit her down, get her comfy got some snacks, crisps, sweets, sandwiches, drinks you don’t want her moving so don’t give her an excuse you want her staring at that screen with intent on loving! Choose your games wisely don’t throw her in at the deep end with a copy of Unreal Tournament, start off easy with something simple and colourful, girls like colour at this moment in time special effects and real time lighting aren’t going to impress. After a few plays she’ll be getting a feel for it all, now offer her a selection of games, ones you too enjoy, that way she’ll think she’s in control here when obviously you pre approved every game before hand and this is actually something you could do together.
Now me and you both know she is not going to be good at this, not in the slightest but even after the umpteenth time and falls into the lava trying to jump that one gap, DO NOT snatch up the pad and show her how its done, encourage, encourage, encourage. Once it’s done praise her for it and she will soon be interested. If you feel the need to laugh and mock her do so but only in your head, very important, do it out loud and your chances of actually sharing an interest with someone of the opposite sex are gone.
Tip; Girls like to play girls in games, Fact, choose a beat em up maybe, girls go for Chun Li’s flipping power like Chris Tucker says “Ya’ll”. Play against her for a while and as much as it might pain you, let her win it’ll boost her confidence, she beat you, you play all the time and she beat you! Shrug off the insults your plan is going perfectly.
Sooner or later she should start enjoying herself, tests prove that if you can do it you enjoy it no matter what it is it gives you a sense of power and this is what she will be feeling, it’s her first time she’s going to love it.
I must warn you though this may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, it could even come along the lines that time you superglued your head to the floor and walked around for a week with a piece of carpet hanging from your head and being called Rug Boy at school. She may get a little too interested in this, if you’re a casual gamer then she could become an obsessive gamer and any spare time she gets could be lost through her wanting to complete the next task on Rollercoaster Tycoon or worst comes to the worst she could even take up your gaming time, picture it you want to use the computer to finally beat that Tony Hawks but she’s playing and she’s saving over your data and then there’s the issue of money, who’s paying for all this, soon she’ll want broadband, know what you’re getting into you can’t reset this.
Plus there’s always the chance of her becoming too dependant on games, getting acne and burst out with one liners such as “I am Turok!” in her sleep.
So take your time over this, do you play games like it’s a religion? Do you really want your girlfriend to be a part of this? Should you keep her at distance, think about this, it’s up to you, you’ll be like two monkeys thrown in a cage with only one bannana between you and you’re not planning on sharing, do you really want this, you decide.
Thanks for reading
Starlight
Interesting idea, but it's a bit cliched. I kept expecting to come to a line like:
"Choose a game with pink fluff in it. Girls like pink fluff. And Kewt bunnies"
yadda yadda yadda.
I'll get me coat.
"Choose a game with pink fluff in it. Girls like pink fluff. And Kewt bunnies"
yadda yadda yadda.
I'll get me coat.
Thanks for reading guys and as for the rest of you mortals, read it!
(Please)
(Please)
you were right starlight it was a good post, thanks for bringing me here
I must admit, nowadays, I rarely read reasonably lengthy posts all the way through, but Starlight, my hat goes off to you; you got me hooked and didn't let go till I'd finished reading!
I really enjoyed reading that (especially the Lara Croft posters bit) and it certainly brightened up my evening. Well done!
Saying that, I seriously doubt I'll be taking any of your advice, after my ex actually FRAGGED me once at networked Quake 3 Arena. I never forgave her and she just HAD to go. ;)
I really enjoyed reading that (especially the Lara Croft posters bit) and it certainly brightened up my evening. Well done!
Saying that, I seriously doubt I'll be taking any of your advice, after my ex actually FRAGGED me once at networked Quake 3 Arena. I never forgave her and she just HAD to go. ;)
Of course, vibrating joypads help..... ;-)
My other half is in to gaming, just about, but she treats it as something that can be done when she has a lot of spare time, as opposed to me, trying to play games every second I'm awake. Her favorites remain pretty much unchanged with Mario 64, Shenmue and Banjo, but she's just seen me playing Luigi's Mansion and Super Monkey Ball had a little go on that. Now she's added 2 more games to her list.
My other half is in to gaming, just about, but she treats it as something that can be done when she has a lot of spare time, as opposed to me, trying to play games every second I'm awake. Her favorites remain pretty much unchanged with Mario 64, Shenmue and Banjo, but she's just seen me playing Luigi's Mansion and Super Monkey Ball had a little go on that. Now she's added 2 more games to her list.
Want your girl to become a pro gamer like yourself? Some would say it’s an impossible and daunting task, a girl interested in gaming? Interested in sitting in a dark room staring at the screen while you mash buttons on a control pad doesn’t sound like a thrilling night in but there are ways and after a lot of persuading (and maybe a promise of some “quality time” with one another) and hopefully she’ll give you a chance.
It can be done but you’ll need a little help, women are sensitive creatures and you must take your time to listen blah blah blah blah what time did you get in last night blah blah blah blah is that perfume I can smell on you?
OK you’ve been given the go ahead, you’d better make the most of it put away a night this won’t be a five minute job. First things first set it up so the computer and screen are the main focus, something most of your pro gamers have probably already done, tidy your pit and generally clean up, no one wants to see your Lara Croft posters, tear them down (careful mind, you want them back up right?). No other distractoins, force her to stare at the screen (use your lighting skills here to darken everything, now how did Perfect Dark do it?).
If you’re using a PC make sure it’s up to scratch and problem free, no crashes and you’ll need a meaty joystick, no cheap £4.99 job you got from the local Del Boy, if you want her interested buy something decent that she can get a feel for. Yes you can see it coming can’t you but let’s face it if she liked the feel she’s going to want to keep a hold of it, hell you can say “Now just grab hold of the joystick” then smirk and laugh away like your five years old again, maybe spark up a conversation over it, as long as it’s gaming talk it’s all good. Any other cheap sexual related comments are good just don’t delve into the damn right dirty otherwise you may offend and I think you know what the results will be.
Now sit her down, get her comfy got some snacks, crisps, sweets, sandwiches, drinks you don’t want her moving so don’t give her an excuse you want her staring at that screen with intent on loving! Choose your games wisely don’t throw her in at the deep end with a copy of Unreal Tournament, start off easy with something simple and colourful, girls like colour at this moment in time special effects and real time lighting aren’t going to impress. After a few plays she’ll be getting a feel for it all, now offer her a selection of games, ones you too enjoy, that way she’ll think she’s in control here when obviously you pre approved every game before hand and this is actually something you could do together.
Now me and you both know she is not going to be good at this, not in the slightest but even after the umpteenth time and falls into the lava trying to jump that one gap, DO NOT snatch up the pad and show her how its done, encourage, encourage, encourage. Once it’s done praise her for it and she will soon be interested. If you feel the need to laugh and mock her do so but only in your head, very important, do it out loud and your chances of actually sharing an interest with someone of the opposite sex are gone.
Tip; Girls like to play girls in games, Fact, choose a beat em up maybe, girls go for Chun Li’s flipping power like Chris Tucker says “Ya’ll”. Play against her for a while and as much as it might pain you, let her win it’ll boost her confidence, she beat you, you play all the time and she beat you! Shrug off the insults your plan is going perfectly.
Sooner or later she should start enjoying herself, tests prove that if you can do it you enjoy it no matter what it is it gives you a sense of power and this is what she will be feeling, it’s her first time she’s going to love it.
I must warn you though this may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, it could even come along the lines that time you superglued your head to the floor and walked around for a week with a piece of carpet hanging from your head and being called Rug Boy at school. She may get a little too interested in this, if you’re a casual gamer then she could become an obsessive gamer and any spare time she gets could be lost through her wanting to complete the next task on Rollercoaster Tycoon or worst comes to the worst she could even take up your gaming time, picture it you want to use the computer to finally beat that Tony Hawks but she’s playing and she’s saving over your data and then there’s the issue of money, who’s paying for all this, soon she’ll want broadband, know what you’re getting into you can’t reset this.
Plus there’s always the chance of her becoming too dependant on games, getting acne and burst out with one liners such as “I am Turok!” in her sleep.
So take your time over this, do you play games like it’s a religion? Do you really want your girlfriend to be a part of this? Should you keep her at distance, think about this, it’s up to you, you’ll be like two monkeys thrown in a cage with only one bannana between you and you’re not planning on sharing, do you really want this, you decide.
Thanks for reading
Starlight
It can be done but you’ll need a little help, women are sensitive creatures and you must take your time to listen blah blah blah blah what time did you get in last night blah blah blah blah is that perfume I can smell on you?
OK you’ve been given the go ahead, you’d better make the most of it put away a night this won’t be a five minute job. First things first set it up so the computer and screen are the main focus, something most of your pro gamers have probably already done, tidy your pit and generally clean up, no one wants to see your Lara Croft posters, tear them down (careful mind, you want them back up right?). No other distractoins, force her to stare at the screen (use your lighting skills here to darken everything, now how did Perfect Dark do it?).
If you’re using a PC make sure it’s up to scratch and problem free, no crashes and you’ll need a meaty joystick, no cheap £4.99 job you got from the local Del Boy, if you want her interested buy something decent that she can get a feel for. Yes you can see it coming can’t you but let’s face it if she liked the feel she’s going to want to keep a hold of it, hell you can say “Now just grab hold of the joystick” then smirk and laugh away like your five years old again, maybe spark up a conversation over it, as long as it’s gaming talk it’s all good. Any other cheap sexual related comments are good just don’t delve into the damn right dirty otherwise you may offend and I think you know what the results will be.
Now sit her down, get her comfy got some snacks, crisps, sweets, sandwiches, drinks you don’t want her moving so don’t give her an excuse you want her staring at that screen with intent on loving! Choose your games wisely don’t throw her in at the deep end with a copy of Unreal Tournament, start off easy with something simple and colourful, girls like colour at this moment in time special effects and real time lighting aren’t going to impress. After a few plays she’ll be getting a feel for it all, now offer her a selection of games, ones you too enjoy, that way she’ll think she’s in control here when obviously you pre approved every game before hand and this is actually something you could do together.
Now me and you both know she is not going to be good at this, not in the slightest but even after the umpteenth time and falls into the lava trying to jump that one gap, DO NOT snatch up the pad and show her how its done, encourage, encourage, encourage. Once it’s done praise her for it and she will soon be interested. If you feel the need to laugh and mock her do so but only in your head, very important, do it out loud and your chances of actually sharing an interest with someone of the opposite sex are gone.
Tip; Girls like to play girls in games, Fact, choose a beat em up maybe, girls go for Chun Li’s flipping power like Chris Tucker says “Ya’ll”. Play against her for a while and as much as it might pain you, let her win it’ll boost her confidence, she beat you, you play all the time and she beat you! Shrug off the insults your plan is going perfectly.
Sooner or later she should start enjoying herself, tests prove that if you can do it you enjoy it no matter what it is it gives you a sense of power and this is what she will be feeling, it’s her first time she’s going to love it.
I must warn you though this may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, it could even come along the lines that time you superglued your head to the floor and walked around for a week with a piece of carpet hanging from your head and being called Rug Boy at school. She may get a little too interested in this, if you’re a casual gamer then she could become an obsessive gamer and any spare time she gets could be lost through her wanting to complete the next task on Rollercoaster Tycoon or worst comes to the worst she could even take up your gaming time, picture it you want to use the computer to finally beat that Tony Hawks but she’s playing and she’s saving over your data and then there’s the issue of money, who’s paying for all this, soon she’ll want broadband, know what you’re getting into you can’t reset this.
Plus there’s always the chance of her becoming too dependant on games, getting acne and burst out with one liners such as “I am Turok!” in her sleep.
So take your time over this, do you play games like it’s a religion? Do you really want your girlfriend to be a part of this? Should you keep her at distance, think about this, it’s up to you, you’ll be like two monkeys thrown in a cage with only one bannana between you and you’re not planning on sharing, do you really want this, you decide.
Thanks for reading
Starlight