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Lazarus
Lazarus-like
I will rise again
With deadened limbs
still clinging on
still clinging on
to what I had
when what I need
is greed for love
with someone else
who doesn't lie
and will not leave
true love to die
Yet I survive
and soldier on
in foreign lands
and on and on
Still
trying to find the times
I lost and left behind
That bind your memory to my back
in wrought-iron chains that will not snap
and set me free
to be reborn
and carry on
and on and on
Now meaning has gone
For Lazarus I have become:
A lonely old man
and on and on.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Nomad
Re-reading letters you wrote to me
at 3am in a September chill
Hanging on words
(and half-baked love)
I miss you now in purest love
Remembering walking in Summer streets
talking of shared futures
and healing your hurts
but I was rotting inside
though I didn't know it then
I wasted those years taht wasted me
away inside to stay outside your arms
tonight when I need them the most
and this disjointed soliloquy for two
keeps me company
keeps my sanity
Talking to myself at 4am is as sane as I get
these wretched days
these wasted days
alone.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ode to Those that mattered
Where are my friends
with their saffron tears
Where are the people
of yesteryear?
Who propped me up
and set me right
who pulled the punches
that stopped the fight
They're wasting away
in my mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are the girls
who I dreamed about
Where are those girls
I can't live without?
Who made my drunken
ramblings transform
into dulcet tones
of tender love
They're wasting away
in this mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are my dreams
with their amethyst guise?
Where are the hopes
that weren't built up on lies?
Which saved my soul
From empty fears
And drowned my misery
in saffron tears
They're wasting away
In the putrid decay
That's inside my heart
rotting away
rotting away
And where am I?
Sat alone at 5am
Writing words aloud on paper
and watching them die
Wanting to cry
But I'm empty of feeling
and I'm empty of hope
Wasting away
rotting away
Lazarus-like
I will rise again
With deadened limbs
still clinging on
still clinging on
to what I had
when what I need
is greed for love
with someone else
who doesn't lie
and will not leave
true love to die
Yet I survive
and soldier on
in foreign lands
and on and on
Still
trying to find the times
I lost and left behind
That bind your memory to my back
in wrought-iron chains that will not snap
and set me free
to be reborn
and carry on
and on and on
Now meaning has gone
For Lazarus I have become:
A lonely old man
and on and on.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Nomad
Re-reading letters you wrote to me
at 3am in a September chill
Hanging on words
(and half-baked love)
I miss you now in purest love
Remembering walking in Summer streets
talking of shared futures
and healing your hurts
but I was rotting inside
though I didn't know it then
I wasted those years taht wasted me
away inside to stay outside your arms
tonight when I need them the most
and this disjointed soliloquy for two
keeps me company
keeps my sanity
Talking to myself at 4am is as sane as I get
these wretched days
these wasted days
alone.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ode to Those that mattered
Where are my friends
with their saffron tears
Where are the people
of yesteryear?
Who propped me up
and set me right
who pulled the punches
that stopped the fight
They're wasting away
in my mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are the girls
who I dreamed about
Where are those girls
I can't live without?
Who made my drunken
ramblings transform
into dulcet tones
of tender love
They're wasting away
in this mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are my dreams
with their amethyst guise?
Where are the hopes
that weren't built up on lies?
Which saved my soul
From empty fears
And drowned my misery
in saffron tears
They're wasting away
In the putrid decay
That's inside my heart
rotting away
rotting away
And where am I?
Sat alone at 5am
Writing words aloud on paper
and watching them die
Wanting to cry
But I'm empty of feeling
and I'm empty of hope
Wasting away
rotting away
cheers for that
it's a strange feeling
I have
I feel that I should be upset about losing her, but I'm not. I'm mad/disappointed/etc in her, but what I am upset about is the time I lost on her, when there were a million other girls more deserving, better and available, that I could have spent that time on instead. And I'm left with four years that have suddenly become nothingness - wasted time. Perhaps it's a cold and shallow thing to say. But I can't help how I feel.
Still, I'm off to uni in October, and there I will meet new people, move on and be happy again.
Can't help being unhappy at the moment even though I know that the next one will be better. I guess one bright side is that I didn't have to abandon half my film/cd collection to escape :-]
Right now I'm just trying to purge myself of all thoughts of her. Takes some getting used to, that's all.
it's a strange feeling
I have
I feel that I should be upset about losing her, but I'm not. I'm mad/disappointed/etc in her, but what I am upset about is the time I lost on her, when there were a million other girls more deserving, better and available, that I could have spent that time on instead. And I'm left with four years that have suddenly become nothingness - wasted time. Perhaps it's a cold and shallow thing to say. But I can't help how I feel.
Still, I'm off to uni in October, and there I will meet new people, move on and be happy again.
Can't help being unhappy at the moment even though I know that the next one will be better. I guess one bright side is that I didn't have to abandon half my film/cd collection to escape :-]
Right now I'm just trying to purge myself of all thoughts of her. Takes some getting used to, that's all.
Ah.
Pull up a chair Mr Happy, reach for the drink and light that cigarette.
It may look like we're all miserable in this room but we aren't. Some of us are, the recently wounded.
They still stagger, emerge from the wreckage and stumble along trying to work out where they are and how they got there.
There are those of us that have been here a while and are beginning to get our feelings back. Some of them are angry, some weep and others sit and stare out of the window trying to understand the who/why/where/when.
And there are those of us that have been here a long time now and just like the atmosphere.
The feeling that we've all been through a battle together and somehow survived.
The thing is, everyone here will at some point leave the room and take someone's hand - knowing full well the dangers involved.
The important thing to remember is, no matter how precious and loving you thought she was?
The next one's always better.
Trust me.
Pull up a chair Mr Happy, reach for the drink and light that cigarette.
It may look like we're all miserable in this room but we aren't. Some of us are, the recently wounded.
They still stagger, emerge from the wreckage and stumble along trying to work out where they are and how they got there.
There are those of us that have been here a while and are beginning to get our feelings back. Some of them are angry, some weep and others sit and stare out of the window trying to understand the who/why/where/when.
And there are those of us that have been here a long time now and just like the atmosphere.
The feeling that we've all been through a battle together and somehow survived.
The thing is, everyone here will at some point leave the room and take someone's hand - knowing full well the dangers involved.
The important thing to remember is, no matter how precious and loving you thought she was?
The next one's always better.
Trust me.
That's not happy but it is surreal.
You live up to your name don't you!
Lazarus
Lazarus-like
I will rise again
With deadened limbs
still clinging on
still clinging on
to what I had
when what I need
is greed for love
with someone else
who doesn't lie
and will not leave
true love to die
Yet I survive
and soldier on
in foreign lands
and on and on
Still
trying to find the times
I lost and left behind
That bind your memory to my back
in wrought-iron chains that will not snap
and set me free
to be reborn
and carry on
and on and on
Now meaning has gone
For Lazarus I have become:
A lonely old man
and on and on.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Nomad
Re-reading letters you wrote to me
at 3am in a September chill
Hanging on words
(and half-baked love)
I miss you now in purest love
Remembering walking in Summer streets
talking of shared futures
and healing your hurts
but I was rotting inside
though I didn't know it then
I wasted those years taht wasted me
away inside to stay outside your arms
tonight when I need them the most
and this disjointed soliloquy for two
keeps me company
keeps my sanity
Talking to myself at 4am is as sane as I get
these wretched days
these wasted days
alone.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ode to Those that mattered
Where are my friends
with their saffron tears
Where are the people
of yesteryear?
Who propped me up
and set me right
who pulled the punches
that stopped the fight
They're wasting away
in my mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are the girls
who I dreamed about
Where are those girls
I can't live without?
Who made my drunken
ramblings transform
into dulcet tones
of tender love
They're wasting away
in this mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are my dreams
with their amethyst guise?
Where are the hopes
that weren't built up on lies?
Which saved my soul
From empty fears
And drowned my misery
in saffron tears
They're wasting away
In the putrid decay
That's inside my heart
rotting away
rotting away
And where am I?
Sat alone at 5am
Writing words aloud on paper
and watching them die
Wanting to cry
But I'm empty of feeling
and I'm empty of hope
Wasting away
rotting away
Lazarus-like
I will rise again
With deadened limbs
still clinging on
still clinging on
to what I had
when what I need
is greed for love
with someone else
who doesn't lie
and will not leave
true love to die
Yet I survive
and soldier on
in foreign lands
and on and on
Still
trying to find the times
I lost and left behind
That bind your memory to my back
in wrought-iron chains that will not snap
and set me free
to be reborn
and carry on
and on and on
Now meaning has gone
For Lazarus I have become:
A lonely old man
and on and on.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Nomad
Re-reading letters you wrote to me
at 3am in a September chill
Hanging on words
(and half-baked love)
I miss you now in purest love
Remembering walking in Summer streets
talking of shared futures
and healing your hurts
but I was rotting inside
though I didn't know it then
I wasted those years taht wasted me
away inside to stay outside your arms
tonight when I need them the most
and this disjointed soliloquy for two
keeps me company
keeps my sanity
Talking to myself at 4am is as sane as I get
these wretched days
these wasted days
alone.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ode to Those that mattered
Where are my friends
with their saffron tears
Where are the people
of yesteryear?
Who propped me up
and set me right
who pulled the punches
that stopped the fight
They're wasting away
in my mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are the girls
who I dreamed about
Where are those girls
I can't live without?
Who made my drunken
ramblings transform
into dulcet tones
of tender love
They're wasting away
in this mental decay
rotting away
rotting away
Where are my dreams
with their amethyst guise?
Where are the hopes
that weren't built up on lies?
Which saved my soul
From empty fears
And drowned my misery
in saffron tears
They're wasting away
In the putrid decay
That's inside my heart
rotting away
rotting away
And where am I?
Sat alone at 5am
Writing words aloud on paper
and watching them die
Wanting to cry
But I'm empty of feeling
and I'm empty of hope
Wasting away
rotting away