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"I hate Paul Ross"

Yes, Jonathan Ross's fatter brother, the so-called film critic who writes for so-called newspaper The News Of The World. You see, Paul Ross is an egotistical moron, and is responsible for half the quotes you see on posters for really terrible movies.

Example on poster for The Scorpion King: "The Scorpion King is the greatest action-adventure movie of all time - Paul Ross"

Reality: "The Scorpion King sucks donkey, and how."

Another, more recent example is for the dire chick flick, The Sweetest Thing. While not actually having seen it myself (I'm no lady), I've been informed by many reliable and respected sources that it's godawful, and I've no reason not to believe them. Paul's quote on the poster?

"The funniest film of all time - Paul Ross"

I kid you not. Methinks someone's getting sick of big brother getting all the limelight, and likes seeing his name in lights.

I hope he falls down a big flight of stairs.

Okaaay.

Anyway, talking of stupid over praising quotes, can anyone think of any others? I have one...

Batman - 'Movie of the Decade'

Paul Ross is really Michael Jackson wearing loads of Make-Up to hide that fact.

He just thinks he's in a rollercoaster, because people keep kicking his seat.

And just how many "A rollercoaster ride of a.." movies has he seen?

Nah, he actually means it. But I like it when you see adverts for games like that.

"Joe Blogg's Olympics has... great... graphics... and is... awesome"

The poster quotes are so weird.

I reckon they just go through a review and find words to form into a quote, but leave the dots out.

If I can demonstrate:
"The Scorpion King is the biggest pile of turgid wankstain I have ever seen. Sure the Rock might think he's the greatest man ever to have lived, especially given his love of talking about himself in the third person, but he's almost as bad as the film itself. If i want to go and see an action-adventure movie I'll get me an Indiana Jones film. This, "The Scorpion King" would be the top of a different list entitled "my worst film of all time"- Paul Ross"

Becomes:
"The Scorpion King is... the greatest... action-adventure movie... of all time" - Paul Ross"

Great song too.

Ha ha, jizzlobber - surprised that one got through. So it's okay for me to use it.

Fattest Pie-Faced Jizzlobber of all time - Paul Ross.

Yes, Jonathan Ross's fatter brother, the so-called film critic who writes for so-called newspaper The News Of The World. You see, Paul Ross is an egotistical moron, and is responsible for half the quotes you see on posters for really terrible movies.

Example on poster for The Scorpion King: "The Scorpion King is the greatest action-adventure movie of all time - Paul Ross"

Reality: "The Scorpion King sucks donkey, and how."

Another, more recent example is for the dire chick flick, The Sweetest Thing. While not actually having seen it myself (I'm no lady), I've been informed by many reliable and respected sources that it's godawful, and I've no reason not to believe them. Paul's quote on the poster?

"The funniest film of all time - Paul Ross"

I kid you not. Methinks someone's getting sick of big brother getting all the limelight, and likes seeing his name in lights.

I hope he falls down a big flight of stairs.