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You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and Pasta after their not-so-recent defeat of the nefarious Shaneo?". Then again, you probably aren't, but let me tell you a story anyway. A story of corruption, adventuring, battling and a good ol' dose of rasslin. This ancient tale of mythical beasts and brave warriors happened roughly a week ago, and here's how it happened:
Banana and Pasta were bored. They'd spent seven months in prison after a failed world-takeover bid, and had now spent a month as jobless slobs mooching off their diring old relative. Banana hadn't washed for several weeks, and started smelling like an old banana which had been left out in the sun for too long. Pasta on the other hand, had at least attended to his hygiene, although this didn't stop him from looking like a mouldy old piece of spaghetti. It was during another one of those long, sunny summer days when Pasta suddenly had another one of his 'brilliant' ideas.
"Banana, I've got that itch!" said Pasta, suddenly brimming with eagerness.
"Shall I get the powder" replied Banana in a lazy, sarcastic tone.
"No no, Banana, not that itch! The itch for adventure! It's been a long time we've done anything other than sit here and drink Mezzo mix laced with jam. It's time that we went out into that big wide world and started exploring!"
"But you're covered with bedsores!"
"Not covered. Anyway, look at you. You need a shave, your face is covered in hair and you stink."
"I don't stink, it's the smell of a finely matured banana. And besides, I've just been left here by the window in the sun too long and started sprouting little white hairs."
"Right, right. Well whether you're coming or not, I'm leaving. I've had enough of this room, and everybody in it."
And with that, Pasta got up off the floor, walked over to the door and tried to open it. He pushed with all his might, but it wouldn't budge.
"Oh great" said Pasta sarcasticly "You've jammed the door shut with your amazing door shutting abilities."
Banana laughed, jumped up off the ground and walked over to the door. With his little finger, Banana pushed on the handle and pulled the door open.
"Fiiine, just fine." said Pasta, and walked out into the sunshine, obviously getting angry. It was a bright, sunny day outside, and Pasta took in a deep breath of fresh air, a pleasant change to the malodourous stench of rotten Banana. Soon though, Banana followed him out into the light, and that familiar but unpleasant odour reached Pasta's nose once more. With that, they walked out into the bright sunny day, seeking the fame, riches and depths of sleaze that they had once had such infinite access to.
The sun wasn't agreeing with Banana, and Pasta could tell. After only ten minutes of brisk stroll down the road, Banana's stench radius had reached over ten yards. The plants on the other side of the road were beginning to droop. Within a few more minutes, Pasta began feeling faint, and finally decided to speak up.
"Banana, haven't you heard of a little thing called deodourant?"
"Of course I've heard of it." said Banana. "We've got a bottle of the old Febreze back at home."
"No, I mean stuff you put on YOU to get rid of your stench, not on the carpets to get rid of your stench. Honestly, we might as well decorate you with those Airwick tablets to get the message through. Even then you'd still look like a Christmas tree and smell like a rotten one. Look - if you don't do anything about your stench, then you'll have to leave me. I'm not going on an adventure with a half rotten stinking Banana."
"I don't think that smell is me. My smell is very distinct - like a rotten banana. This smell is much more striking."
And at that remark, out of the bushes ahead jumped none other than Stryke. He looked dirty. Very dirty, as though he came from a place where water didn't exist and bathing consisted of being twirled around in a centrafuge where the less dense liquids would be strained out. He had a long straggly beard, and carried a gnarled wooden staff and had a pointy hat on.
"They're after me!" cried Stryke in disdain "The police. They want to arrest me for death by odour!"
"What???" muttered Pasta in a barely audible tone.
"Don't you ever watch the news? I used to work in GAME, but I was kicked out after spending too many days playing the in-store version of Neverwinter Nights. I was driving customers away with my stench, and when one of them died I was forced to leave. Now I'm being pursued by the police AND the Guiness book of records people. Apparently, I have the worlds strongest stench!"
"Wait until you get a load of Banana!" said Pasta, "He's wanted for cruelty to animals - once, a dog tried to sniff his butt and had to get its nose amputated for the lingering smell."
"Enough of this talk" said Banana, distressed, "What do you want from us Stryke?"
"Errrm, you gotta hide me, guys. You're the only people I can turn to who won't make me take a shower."
"Alright, alright, go back to our crib and lay low for a while. The police avoid that place because there was once a false alarm when Banana accidentally swallowed some plutonium. Sure, you may get radiation poisoning, but its a small price to pay."
"Right, thanks ever so much guys, you won't regret this. I'll let you in on a little secret - there's something big going down at Special Reserve towers lately. Apparently, there's some new mysterious leader blokey who kicked Tony off his throne! Anyways, ciao!"
And with a hop and a skip and a turn to the right, Stryke disappeared off the way Pasta and Banana had come, with some vivid stink lines wafting away above his head.
"What was that all about?" asked Banana, curiously.
"Don't ask me, although you've got some stiff competition in the smelly stakes. Back to business though - that was some interesting info he gave us on the SR towers. If it's true, this could be our chance to prove ourselves once more and regain the crowns which we've deserved for so long."
"Yeah," said Banana, with a twinkle in his eye "Lets go find SonicRav, he may have some juicy info."
And with that, Banana and Pasta hurried off to find SonicRav, whom they knew would be wandering the streets aimlessly, repeating the same chunk of text over and over again.
But the sun was going down, and still no sign of Sonic. They'd tried all the computer game shops, all the internet cafes - heck, they'd even looked in Woolworths to see if SonicRav was there. But alas, no sign.
"Where could he be?" wondered Pasta alive.
"I know where he is!" suddenly piped up a small irritating passer-by who'd so obviously been eavesdropping. "He's on holiday".
"Not again", moaned Banana. "Last time we needed his help, he was in America. The time before that, he was in the worlds first 7 star hotel. Does this guy actually have a permanent address, or is his life a constant holiday"
"I dunno." said the little nuisance "I just copied that off www.ign.com. I'm Reynolds, bye the way."
"We'll keep that in mind" said Pasta, trying out his new cynicism skills which Stryke had just passed on to him.
And so Pasta and Banana plodded on down the road, towards the looming SR towers.
"We'll never have an adventure" moaned Pasta. "It's no good, they're always reserved for those special people who just pay people to be evil and take over the world and what not. Why can't we have any action in our lives."
"Hey, I get plenty of action. Ever been out on a Friday night? I tell you, it's incredibly easy to pull if you resemble a tripod when you're naked. Heh heh. Bet you've never had 'relations'."
"I have too" whined Pasta "And I know how to make love. It's simple, it's just like playing computer games. Up, left, rotate 180 degrees, engage rotor. And anyway, we're not here to talk about conquests, we're here to get an adventure. Then I can tell you about the Japanese twins I once had."
"I really didn't want to hear that." said Banana. And they walked on.
Eventually they got to the gates of SR towers, where, judging by the information given to them by Stryke (or as he'd like to be referred to as, Nyatar Stronghammer XVIII - mage and ironsmith) there was an evil imposter who'd snatched control from the arms of Tony.
"How do we get in?" asked Banana.
"It's simple" replied Pasta "We just insert our cheat code which was given to us by Tony last time we saved Special Reserve, and we're through."
"Not so fast" piped up a voice coming from a dark, dank alleyway to their left. "You can't just pop it in and expect it to work. There are regional protocols involved AND the codes have been changed."
"Who are you?" asked pasta.
"I am Edgy" said the mysterious voice, stepping out of the darkness where the voice had originated. "And don't laugh at my looks, I only just got out of bed."
"Yeah right" snickered Banana "And I'm a member of the royal family"
"Don't be rude" interrupted Pasta "Thanks for the advice. What should I do?"
"Well, if you await the release of Action Replay, it'll let you play any region video games and give you up to date cheat codes on all your favourites."
"Yeah, I would do, if it was out. I've been waiting for months!"
"Well, I've got contacts, and I've just e-mailed Datel to ask for information. If you're lucky, you'll have your reply by Monday."
"Monday!" shouted Pasta "The world will be in the midst of a Nuclear war by Monday, I need those codes now!"
"Errm, you guys, the gate IS open." Banana piped up.
"Oh yeah..." said Pasta, disgraced, shamed and blamed.
"Well, bye Edgy!" said Pasta, relieved to be rid of the interloper.
And Pasta and Banana wandered inside the Special Reserve building.
Heading up to the top floor, where all supervillains' offices are, Banana suddenly came up with a brilliant idea.
"I know, why don't we run for notable in the next election, so we can infiltrate this evil mastermind's plan from the inside and flush him out. Then we can restore order to the land."
"Errrm, think about what you're saying, Banana. you want us to wait a few months, run for an election we probably won't win, actually manage to defeat the evil mastermind who, I remind you, wants to destroy the world on Sunday, so we can't use those new cheat codes on Monday. Great plan, idiot. Plus, we're already here so the first part of your 1-step plan is void anyway."
"You're right" said Banana "We can do this... in your dreams!"
"That's good enough for me!" said Pasta, who curled up on the floor and fell asleep.
"Wake up, you idiot!" shouted Banana, so loud that the building's foudations shook.
"God, I was sleeping dude."
"Not you, the other idiot, you know, Pasta. What would we want with Kyle Gass?"
"I dunno" said Kyle, "but I can do a good scat."
"We don't need your musical abilities" said Banana "We're here to save the world!"
"Riiiiight" joked Kyle "And I'm the pope"
"Really! Can I've your autograph!" said Banana excitedly.
"No, and if you ask me again I'll sock you one!"
"Okay, okay. PASTA, GET UP, WE NEED TO GO!"
"Dude, I've been up for ages, I've been chillin with Jack Black." said Pasta.
"Well, we've got to go. Come on, time to save the world."
And with that, Pasta and Banana bade their farewells to the gods of rock, also known as the 'D'.
"Here it is, Tony's office. Lets storm in and take him by surprise" said Pasta.
"Yeah, what a good idea. And while we're at it, why don't we jump off the building. It's a more fun way of committing suicide."
"I sense sarcasm in your voice. Well, Einstein, what would YOUR plan be?"
"Hows about we... storm in and take him by surprise!"
"Dude, that was my idea"
"Yeah but did you come up with errm... hows about we storm in and take him by surprise!"
"I did, I said we'd storm in and take him by surprise! I win, I WIN, one to nothing."
"Okay, okay. Fine. You win. Let's go."
And they stormed into Tony's office, taking him completely by surprise.
"What are you guys doing here?" said Tony
"TONY!!!" shouted Pasta and Banana, simultaneously.
"Yes, that's my name. What do you want?
"Errrm, we came here to save you." said Pasta.
"God, not another pair. Snuggly, would you kindly show these two to the door, it's another load of wannabe heroes following that false rumour that I got kidnapped."
"Certainly sir" said Snuggly, brandishing a big stick with a nail poking out of it.
"Wait, if you ARE Tony, you have to prove it. What would you rather have - a flower from your sweety, a puppy or a large properly formatted data file. Choose!"
"Errrm, is the puppy mechanical in any kind of way?"
"No. It is the bad kind of puppy"
"I'll go with the flower then."
"Aha! We knew it! The Tony WE know and love would have chosen the data file to please all his lackeys on the Special Reserve forum. Die, traitor scum!"
And Pasta lunged at Tony, grabbing the stick off Snuggly and raising it to strike.
"Wait!" shouted Tony. "Isn't there some way which doesn't involve you hitting me wiv your stick?"
"I think I have a solution" piped up Banana "which will satisfy Special Reserve AND let this Tony imposter keep his dignity."
"Oh?" said Pasta.
"Yes!" said Banana, who snatched the stick off Pasta and whacked Tony around the head.
"Owww!" shouted Tony "That really hurt!"
“Really?” said Banana, sarcastically, who persisted in whacking Tony with the stick.
“Arrghhhh” screamed the imposter, who took off his mask to reveal the nefarious Shaneo!
“Shaneo!” cried Banana and Pasta at the same time.
“I thought we dealt with you” said Pasta, annoyed that this pestilence had returned.
“Well, you had, but I thought of an even better plan to take over all of Special Reserve, and I’m invincible!” cackled Shaneo
“In your dreams!” screamed Mr. Snuggly, who brandished a fireman’s helmet and hose and pummelled Shaneo with 10,000 gallons of water. The sheer force powered Shaneo out of the great glass window, who plummeted 10 stories to his death (until the next episode, anyway). His last words were “Preparation H felt so good on the whole, if only it hadn’t slipped out of my grasp!”. And with that, he crumpled onto the floor.
“Well, that sure showed him, didn’t it Banana!” said Pasta gleefully.
“It sure did, Pasta” replied Banana. “Lets go home. We got our adventure, and now we’re minor celebrities. I await our next offer to star in some cheesy B-movie.”
And with that, Banana and Pasta left Special Reserve towers to pursue their awful acting careers, leaving Mr. Snuggly to clean up the mess, as usual. It looks like Special Reserve has been saved, once again, by Banana and Pasta, our kitchen-wide heroes.
And so, my friends, this ancient tale of deceit, treacherosity and heroism has reached its end. Of course, all characters involved are entirely fictional and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental (snigger). Oh well. And there was no insult intended to any of the people I ‘used’ for this story. :D
Banana and Pasta were bored. They'd spent seven months in prison after a failed world-takeover bid, and had now spent a month as jobless slobs mooching off their diring old relative. Banana hadn't washed for several weeks, and started smelling like an old banana which had been left out in the sun for too long. Pasta on the other hand, had at least attended to his hygiene, although this didn't stop him from looking like a mouldy old piece of spaghetti. It was during another one of those long, sunny summer days when Pasta suddenly had another one of his 'brilliant' ideas.
"Banana, I've got that itch!" said Pasta, suddenly brimming with eagerness.
"Shall I get the powder" replied Banana in a lazy, sarcastic tone.
"No no, Banana, not that itch! The itch for adventure! It's been a long time we've done anything other than sit here and drink Mezzo mix laced with jam. It's time that we went out into that big wide world and started exploring!"
"But you're covered with bedsores!"
"Not covered. Anyway, look at you. You need a shave, your face is covered in hair and you stink."
"I don't stink, it's the smell of a finely matured banana. And besides, I've just been left here by the window in the sun too long and started sprouting little white hairs."
"Right, right. Well whether you're coming or not, I'm leaving. I've had enough of this room, and everybody in it."
And with that, Pasta got up off the floor, walked over to the door and tried to open it. He pushed with all his might, but it wouldn't budge.
"Oh great" said Pasta sarcasticly "You've jammed the door shut with your amazing door shutting abilities."
Banana laughed, jumped up off the ground and walked over to the door. With his little finger, Banana pushed on the handle and pulled the door open.
"Fiiine, just fine." said Pasta, and walked out into the sunshine, obviously getting angry. It was a bright, sunny day outside, and Pasta took in a deep breath of fresh air, a pleasant change to the malodourous stench of rotten Banana. Soon though, Banana followed him out into the light, and that familiar but unpleasant odour reached Pasta's nose once more. With that, they walked out into the bright sunny day, seeking the fame, riches and depths of sleaze that they had once had such infinite access to.
The sun wasn't agreeing with Banana, and Pasta could tell. After only ten minutes of brisk stroll down the road, Banana's stench radius had reached over ten yards. The plants on the other side of the road were beginning to droop. Within a few more minutes, Pasta began feeling faint, and finally decided to speak up.
"Banana, haven't you heard of a little thing called deodourant?"
"Of course I've heard of it." said Banana. "We've got a bottle of the old Febreze back at home."
"No, I mean stuff you put on YOU to get rid of your stench, not on the carpets to get rid of your stench. Honestly, we might as well decorate you with those Airwick tablets to get the message through. Even then you'd still look like a Christmas tree and smell like a rotten one. Look - if you don't do anything about your stench, then you'll have to leave me. I'm not going on an adventure with a half rotten stinking Banana."
"I don't think that smell is me. My smell is very distinct - like a rotten banana. This smell is much more striking."
And at that remark, out of the bushes ahead jumped none other than Stryke. He looked dirty. Very dirty, as though he came from a place where water didn't exist and bathing consisted of being twirled around in a centrafuge where the less dense liquids would be strained out. He had a long straggly beard, and carried a gnarled wooden staff and had a pointy hat on.
"They're after me!" cried Stryke in disdain "The police. They want to arrest me for death by odour!"
"What???" muttered Pasta in a barely audible tone.
"Don't you ever watch the news? I used to work in GAME, but I was kicked out after spending too many days playing the in-store version of Neverwinter Nights. I was driving customers away with my stench, and when one of them died I was forced to leave. Now I'm being pursued by the police AND the Guiness book of records people. Apparently, I have the worlds strongest stench!"
"Wait until you get a load of Banana!" said Pasta, "He's wanted for cruelty to animals - once, a dog tried to sniff his butt and had to get its nose amputated for the lingering smell."
"Enough of this talk" said Banana, distressed, "What do you want from us Stryke?"
"Errrm, you gotta hide me, guys. You're the only people I can turn to who won't make me take a shower."
"Alright, alright, go back to our crib and lay low for a while. The police avoid that place because there was once a false alarm when Banana accidentally swallowed some plutonium. Sure, you may get radiation poisoning, but its a small price to pay."
"Right, thanks ever so much guys, you won't regret this. I'll let you in on a little secret - there's something big going down at Special Reserve towers lately. Apparently, there's some new mysterious leader blokey who kicked Tony off his throne! Anyways, ciao!"
And with a hop and a skip and a turn to the right, Stryke disappeared off the way Pasta and Banana had come, with some vivid stink lines wafting away above his head.
"What was that all about?" asked Banana, curiously.
"Don't ask me, although you've got some stiff competition in the smelly stakes. Back to business though - that was some interesting info he gave us on the SR towers. If it's true, this could be our chance to prove ourselves once more and regain the crowns which we've deserved for so long."
"Yeah," said Banana, with a twinkle in his eye "Lets go find SonicRav, he may have some juicy info."
And with that, Banana and Pasta hurried off to find SonicRav, whom they knew would be wandering the streets aimlessly, repeating the same chunk of text over and over again.
But the sun was going down, and still no sign of Sonic. They'd tried all the computer game shops, all the internet cafes - heck, they'd even looked in Woolworths to see if SonicRav was there. But alas, no sign.
"Where could he be?" wondered Pasta alive.
"I know where he is!" suddenly piped up a small irritating passer-by who'd so obviously been eavesdropping. "He's on holiday".
"Not again", moaned Banana. "Last time we needed his help, he was in America. The time before that, he was in the worlds first 7 star hotel. Does this guy actually have a permanent address, or is his life a constant holiday"
"I dunno." said the little nuisance "I just copied that off www.ign.com. I'm Reynolds, bye the way."
"We'll keep that in mind" said Pasta, trying out his new cynicism skills which Stryke had just passed on to him.
And so Pasta and Banana plodded on down the road, towards the looming SR towers.
"We'll never have an adventure" moaned Pasta. "It's no good, they're always reserved for those special people who just pay people to be evil and take over the world and what not. Why can't we have any action in our lives."
"Hey, I get plenty of action. Ever been out on a Friday night? I tell you, it's incredibly easy to pull if you resemble a tripod when you're naked. Heh heh. Bet you've never had 'relations'."
"I have too" whined Pasta "And I know how to make love. It's simple, it's just like playing computer games. Up, left, rotate 180 degrees, engage rotor. And anyway, we're not here to talk about conquests, we're here to get an adventure. Then I can tell you about the Japanese twins I once had."
"I really didn't want to hear that." said Banana. And they walked on.
Eventually they got to the gates of SR towers, where, judging by the information given to them by Stryke (or as he'd like to be referred to as, Nyatar Stronghammer XVIII - mage and ironsmith) there was an evil imposter who'd snatched control from the arms of Tony.
"How do we get in?" asked Banana.
"It's simple" replied Pasta "We just insert our cheat code which was given to us by Tony last time we saved Special Reserve, and we're through."
"Not so fast" piped up a voice coming from a dark, dank alleyway to their left. "You can't just pop it in and expect it to work. There are regional protocols involved AND the codes have been changed."
"Who are you?" asked pasta.
"I am Edgy" said the mysterious voice, stepping out of the darkness where the voice had originated. "And don't laugh at my looks, I only just got out of bed."
"Yeah right" snickered Banana "And I'm a member of the royal family"
"Don't be rude" interrupted Pasta "Thanks for the advice. What should I do?"
"Well, if you await the release of Action Replay, it'll let you play any region video games and give you up to date cheat codes on all your favourites."
"Yeah, I would do, if it was out. I've been waiting for months!"
"Well, I've got contacts, and I've just e-mailed Datel to ask for information. If you're lucky, you'll have your reply by Monday."
"Monday!" shouted Pasta "The world will be in the midst of a Nuclear war by Monday, I need those codes now!"
"Errm, you guys, the gate IS open." Banana piped up.
"Oh yeah..." said Pasta, disgraced, shamed and blamed.
"Well, bye Edgy!" said Pasta, relieved to be rid of the interloper.
And Pasta and Banana wandered inside the Special Reserve building.
Heading up to the top floor, where all supervillains' offices are, Banana suddenly came up with a brilliant idea.
"I know, why don't we run for notable in the next election, so we can infiltrate this evil mastermind's plan from the inside and flush him out. Then we can restore order to the land."
"Errrm, think about what you're saying, Banana. you want us to wait a few months, run for an election we probably won't win, actually manage to defeat the evil mastermind who, I remind you, wants to destroy the world on Sunday, so we can't use those new cheat codes on Monday. Great plan, idiot. Plus, we're already here so the first part of your 1-step plan is void anyway."
"You're right" said Banana "We can do this... in your dreams!"
"That's good enough for me!" said Pasta, who curled up on the floor and fell asleep.
"Wake up, you idiot!" shouted Banana, so loud that the building's foudations shook.
"God, I was sleeping dude."
"Not you, the other idiot, you know, Pasta. What would we want with Kyle Gass?"
"I dunno" said Kyle, "but I can do a good scat."
"We don't need your musical abilities" said Banana "We're here to save the world!"
"Riiiiight" joked Kyle "And I'm the pope"
"Really! Can I've your autograph!" said Banana excitedly.
"No, and if you ask me again I'll sock you one!"
"Okay, okay. PASTA, GET UP, WE NEED TO GO!"
"Dude, I've been up for ages, I've been chillin with Jack Black." said Pasta.
"Well, we've got to go. Come on, time to save the world."
And with that, Pasta and Banana bade their farewells to the gods of rock, also known as the 'D'.
"Here it is, Tony's office. Lets storm in and take him by surprise" said Pasta.
"Yeah, what a good idea. And while we're at it, why don't we jump off the building. It's a more fun way of committing suicide."
"I sense sarcasm in your voice. Well, Einstein, what would YOUR plan be?"
"Hows about we... storm in and take him by surprise!"
"Dude, that was my idea"
"Yeah but did you come up with errm... hows about we storm in and take him by surprise!"
"I did, I said we'd storm in and take him by surprise! I win, I WIN, one to nothing."
"Okay, okay. Fine. You win. Let's go."
And they stormed into Tony's office, taking him completely by surprise.
"What are you guys doing here?" said Tony
"TONY!!!" shouted Pasta and Banana, simultaneously.
"Yes, that's my name. What do you want?
"Errrm, we came here to save you." said Pasta.
"God, not another pair. Snuggly, would you kindly show these two to the door, it's another load of wannabe heroes following that false rumour that I got kidnapped."
"Certainly sir" said Snuggly, brandishing a big stick with a nail poking out of it.
"Wait, if you ARE Tony, you have to prove it. What would you rather have - a flower from your sweety, a puppy or a large properly formatted data file. Choose!"
"Errrm, is the puppy mechanical in any kind of way?"
"No. It is the bad kind of puppy"
"I'll go with the flower then."
"Aha! We knew it! The Tony WE know and love would have chosen the data file to please all his lackeys on the Special Reserve forum. Die, traitor scum!"
And Pasta lunged at Tony, grabbing the stick off Snuggly and raising it to strike.
"Wait!" shouted Tony. "Isn't there some way which doesn't involve you hitting me wiv your stick?"
"I think I have a solution" piped up Banana "which will satisfy Special Reserve AND let this Tony imposter keep his dignity."
"Oh?" said Pasta.
"Yes!" said Banana, who snatched the stick off Pasta and whacked Tony around the head.
"Owww!" shouted Tony "That really hurt!"
“Really?” said Banana, sarcastically, who persisted in whacking Tony with the stick.
“Arrghhhh” screamed the imposter, who took off his mask to reveal the nefarious Shaneo!
“Shaneo!” cried Banana and Pasta at the same time.
“I thought we dealt with you” said Pasta, annoyed that this pestilence had returned.
“Well, you had, but I thought of an even better plan to take over all of Special Reserve, and I’m invincible!” cackled Shaneo
“In your dreams!” screamed Mr. Snuggly, who brandished a fireman’s helmet and hose and pummelled Shaneo with 10,000 gallons of water. The sheer force powered Shaneo out of the great glass window, who plummeted 10 stories to his death (until the next episode, anyway). His last words were “Preparation H felt so good on the whole, if only it hadn’t slipped out of my grasp!”. And with that, he crumpled onto the floor.
“Well, that sure showed him, didn’t it Banana!” said Pasta gleefully.
“It sure did, Pasta” replied Banana. “Lets go home. We got our adventure, and now we’re minor celebrities. I await our next offer to star in some cheesy B-movie.”
And with that, Banana and Pasta left Special Reserve towers to pursue their awful acting careers, leaving Mr. Snuggly to clean up the mess, as usual. It looks like Special Reserve has been saved, once again, by Banana and Pasta, our kitchen-wide heroes.
And so, my friends, this ancient tale of deceit, treacherosity and heroism has reached its end. Of course, all characters involved are entirely fictional and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental (snigger). Oh well. And there was no insult intended to any of the people I ‘used’ for this story. :D
You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and Pasta after their not-so-recent defeat of the nefarious Shaneo?". Then again, you probably aren't, but let me tell you a story anyway. A story of corruption, adventuring, battling and a good ol' dose of rasslin. This ancient tale of mythical beasts and brave warriors happened roughly a week ago, and here's how it happened:
Banana and Pasta were bored. They'd spent seven months in prison after a failed world-takeover bid, and had now spent a month as jobless slobs mooching off their diring old relative. Banana hadn't washed for several weeks, and started smelling like an old banana which had been left out in the sun for too long. Pasta on the other hand, had at least attended to his hygiene, although this didn't stop him from looking like a mouldy old piece of spaghetti. It was during another one of those long, sunny summer days when Pasta suddenly had another one of his 'brilliant' ideas.
"Banana, I've got that itch!" said Pasta, suddenly brimming with eagerness.
"Shall I get the powder" replied Banana in a lazy, sarcastic tone.
"No no, Banana, not that itch! The itch for adventure! It's been a long time we've done anything other than sit here and drink Mezzo mix laced with jam. It's time that we went out into that big wide world and started exploring!"
"But you're covered with bedsores!"
"Not covered. Anyway, look at you. You need a shave, your face is covered in hair and you stink."
"I don't stink, it's the smell of a finely matured banana. And besides, I've just been left here by the window in the sun too long and started sprouting little white hairs."
"Right, right. Well whether you're coming or not, I'm leaving. I've had enough of this room, and everybody in it."
And with that, Pasta got up off the floor, walked over to the door and tried to open it. He pushed with all his might, but it wouldn't budge.
"Oh great" said Pasta sarcasticly "You've jammed the door shut with your amazing door shutting abilities."
Banana laughed, jumped up off the ground and walked over to the door. With his little finger, Banana pushed on the handle and pulled the door open.
"Fiiine, just fine." said Pasta, and walked out into the sunshine, obviously getting angry. It was a bright, sunny day outside, and Pasta took in a deep breath of fresh air, a pleasant change to the malodourous stench of rotten Banana. Soon though, Banana followed him out into the light, and that familiar but unpleasant odour reached Pasta's nose once more. With that, they walked out into the bright sunny day, seeking the fame, riches and depths of sleaze that they had once had such infinite access to.
The sun wasn't agreeing with Banana, and Pasta could tell. After only ten minutes of brisk stroll down the road, Banana's stench radius had reached over ten yards. The plants on the other side of the road were beginning to droop. Within a few more minutes, Pasta began feeling faint, and finally decided to speak up.
"Banana, haven't you heard of a little thing called deodourant?"
"Of course I've heard of it." said Banana. "We've got a bottle of the old Febreze back at home."
"No, I mean stuff you put on YOU to get rid of your stench, not on the carpets to get rid of your stench. Honestly, we might as well decorate you with those Airwick tablets to get the message through. Even then you'd still look like a Christmas tree and smell like a rotten one. Look - if you don't do anything about your stench, then you'll have to leave me. I'm not going on an adventure with a half rotten stinking Banana."
"I don't think that smell is me. My smell is very distinct - like a rotten banana. This smell is much more striking."
And at that remark, out of the bushes ahead jumped none other than Stryke. He looked dirty. Very dirty, as though he came from a place where water didn't exist and bathing consisted of being twirled around in a centrafuge where the less dense liquids would be strained out. He had a long straggly beard, and carried a gnarled wooden staff and had a pointy hat on.
"They're after me!" cried Stryke in disdain "The police. They want to arrest me for death by odour!"
"What???" muttered Pasta in a barely audible tone.
"Don't you ever watch the news? I used to work in GAME, but I was kicked out after spending too many days playing the in-store version of Neverwinter Nights. I was driving customers away with my stench, and when one of them died I was forced to leave. Now I'm being pursued by the police AND the Guiness book of records people. Apparently, I have the worlds strongest stench!"
"Wait until you get a load of Banana!" said Pasta, "He's wanted for cruelty to animals - once, a dog tried to sniff his butt and had to get its nose amputated for the lingering smell."
"Enough of this talk" said Banana, distressed, "What do you want from us Stryke?"
"Errrm, you gotta hide me, guys. You're the only people I can turn to who won't make me take a shower."
"Alright, alright, go back to our crib and lay low for a while. The police avoid that place because there was once a false alarm when Banana accidentally swallowed some plutonium. Sure, you may get radiation poisoning, but its a small price to pay."
"Right, thanks ever so much guys, you won't regret this. I'll let you in on a little secret - there's something big going down at Special Reserve towers lately. Apparently, there's some new mysterious leader blokey who kicked Tony off his throne! Anyways, ciao!"
And with a hop and a skip and a turn to the right, Stryke disappeared off the way Pasta and Banana had come, with some vivid stink lines wafting away above his head.
"What was that all about?" asked Banana, curiously.
"Don't ask me, although you've got some stiff competition in the smelly stakes. Back to business though - that was some interesting info he gave us on the SR towers. If it's true, this could be our chance to prove ourselves once more and regain the crowns which we've deserved for so long."
"Yeah," said Banana, with a twinkle in his eye "Lets go find SonicRav, he may have some juicy info."
And with that, Banana and Pasta hurried off to find SonicRav, whom they knew would be wandering the streets aimlessly, repeating the same chunk of text over and over again.
But the sun was going down, and still no sign of Sonic. They'd tried all the computer game shops, all the internet cafes - heck, they'd even looked in Woolworths to see if SonicRav was there. But alas, no sign.
"Where could he be?" wondered Pasta alive.
"I know where he is!" suddenly piped up a small irritating passer-by who'd so obviously been eavesdropping. "He's on holiday".
"Not again", moaned Banana. "Last time we needed his help, he was in America. The time before that, he was in the worlds first 7 star hotel. Does this guy actually have a permanent address, or is his life a constant holiday"
"I dunno." said the little nuisance "I just copied that off www.ign.com. I'm Reynolds, bye the way."
"We'll keep that in mind" said Pasta, trying out his new cynicism skills which Stryke had just passed on to him.
And so Pasta and Banana plodded on down the road, towards the looming SR towers.
"We'll never have an adventure" moaned Pasta. "It's no good, they're always reserved for those special people who just pay people to be evil and take over the world and what not. Why can't we have any action in our lives."
"Hey, I get plenty of action. Ever been out on a Friday night? I tell you, it's incredibly easy to pull if you resemble a tripod when you're naked. Heh heh. Bet you've never had 'relations'."
"I have too" whined Pasta "And I know how to make love. It's simple, it's just like playing computer games. Up, left, rotate 180 degrees, engage rotor. And anyway, we're not here to talk about conquests, we're here to get an adventure. Then I can tell you about the Japanese twins I once had."
"I really didn't want to hear that." said Banana. And they walked on.
Eventually they got to the gates of SR towers, where, judging by the information given to them by Stryke (or as he'd like to be referred to as, Nyatar Stronghammer XVIII - mage and ironsmith) there was an evil imposter who'd snatched control from the arms of Tony.
"How do we get in?" asked Banana.
"It's simple" replied Pasta "We just insert our cheat code which was given to us by Tony last time we saved Special Reserve, and we're through."
"Not so fast" piped up a voice coming from a dark, dank alleyway to their left. "You can't just pop it in and expect it to work. There are regional protocols involved AND the codes have been changed."
"Who are you?" asked pasta.
"I am Edgy" said the mysterious voice, stepping out of the darkness where the voice had originated. "And don't laugh at my looks, I only just got out of bed."
"Yeah right" snickered Banana "And I'm a member of the royal family"
"Don't be rude" interrupted Pasta "Thanks for the advice. What should I do?"
"Well, if you await the release of Action Replay, it'll let you play any region video games and give you up to date cheat codes on all your favourites."
"Yeah, I would do, if it was out. I've been waiting for months!"
"Well, I've got contacts, and I've just e-mailed Datel to ask for information. If you're lucky, you'll have your reply by Monday."
"Monday!" shouted Pasta "The world will be in the midst of a Nuclear war by Monday, I need those codes now!"
"Errm, you guys, the gate IS open." Banana piped up.
"Oh yeah..." said Pasta, disgraced, shamed and blamed.
"Well, bye Edgy!" said Pasta, relieved to be rid of the interloper.
And Pasta and Banana wandered inside the Special Reserve building.
Heading up to the top floor, where all supervillains' offices are, Banana suddenly came up with a brilliant idea.
"I know, why don't we run for notable in the next election, so we can infiltrate this evil mastermind's plan from the inside and flush him out. Then we can restore order to the land."
"Errrm, think about what you're saying, Banana. you want us to wait a few months, run for an election we probably won't win, actually manage to defeat the evil mastermind who, I remind you, wants to destroy the world on Sunday, so we can't use those new cheat codes on Monday. Great plan, idiot. Plus, we're already here so the first part of your 1-step plan is void anyway."
"You're right" said Banana "We can do this... in your dreams!"
"That's good enough for me!" said Pasta, who curled up on the floor and fell asleep.
"Wake up, you idiot!" shouted Banana, so loud that the building's foudations shook.
"God, I was sleeping dude."
"Not you, the other idiot, you know, Pasta. What would we want with Kyle Gass?"
"I dunno" said Kyle, "but I can do a good scat."
"We don't need your musical abilities" said Banana "We're here to save the world!"
"Riiiiight" joked Kyle "And I'm the pope"
"Really! Can I've your autograph!" said Banana excitedly.
"No, and if you ask me again I'll sock you one!"
"Okay, okay. PASTA, GET UP, WE NEED TO GO!"
"Dude, I've been up for ages, I've been chillin with Jack Black." said Pasta.
"Well, we've got to go. Come on, time to save the world."
And with that, Pasta and Banana bade their farewells to the gods of rock, also known as the 'D'.
"Here it is, Tony's office. Lets storm in and take him by surprise" said Pasta.
"Yeah, what a good idea. And while we're at it, why don't we jump off the building. It's a more fun way of committing suicide."
"I sense sarcasm in your voice. Well, Einstein, what would YOUR plan be?"
"Hows about we... storm in and take him by surprise!"
"Dude, that was my idea"
"Yeah but did you come up with errm... hows about we storm in and take him by surprise!"
"I did, I said we'd storm in and take him by surprise! I win, I WIN, one to nothing."
"Okay, okay. Fine. You win. Let's go."
And they stormed into Tony's office, taking him completely by surprise.
"What are you guys doing here?" said Tony
"TONY!!!" shouted Pasta and Banana, simultaneously.
"Yes, that's my name. What do you want?
"Errrm, we came here to save you." said Pasta.
"God, not another pair. Snuggly, would you kindly show these two to the door, it's another load of wannabe heroes following that false rumour that I got kidnapped."
"Certainly sir" said Snuggly, brandishing a big stick with a nail poking out of it.
"Wait, if you ARE Tony, you have to prove it. What would you rather have - a flower from your sweety, a puppy or a large properly formatted data file. Choose!"
"Errrm, is the puppy mechanical in any kind of way?"
"No. It is the bad kind of puppy"
"I'll go with the flower then."
"Aha! We knew it! The Tony WE know and love would have chosen the data file to please all his lackeys on the Special Reserve forum. Die, traitor scum!"
And Pasta lunged at Tony, grabbing the stick off Snuggly and raising it to strike.
"Wait!" shouted Tony. "Isn't there some way which doesn't involve you hitting me wiv your stick?"
"I think I have a solution" piped up Banana "which will satisfy Special Reserve AND let this Tony imposter keep his dignity."
"Oh?" said Pasta.
"Yes!" said Banana, who snatched the stick off Pasta and whacked Tony around the head.
"Owww!" shouted Tony "That really hurt!"
“Really?” said Banana, sarcastically, who persisted in whacking Tony with the stick.
“Arrghhhh” screamed the imposter, who took off his mask to reveal the nefarious Shaneo!
“Shaneo!” cried Banana and Pasta at the same time.
“I thought we dealt with you” said Pasta, annoyed that this pestilence had returned.
“Well, you had, but I thought of an even better plan to take over all of Special Reserve, and I’m invincible!” cackled Shaneo
“In your dreams!” screamed Mr. Snuggly, who brandished a fireman’s helmet and hose and pummelled Shaneo with 10,000 gallons of water. The sheer force powered Shaneo out of the great glass window, who plummeted 10 stories to his death (until the next episode, anyway). His last words were “Preparation H felt so good on the whole, if only it hadn’t slipped out of my grasp!”. And with that, he crumpled onto the floor.
“Well, that sure showed him, didn’t it Banana!” said Pasta gleefully.
“It sure did, Pasta” replied Banana. “Lets go home. We got our adventure, and now we’re minor celebrities. I await our next offer to star in some cheesy B-movie.”
And with that, Banana and Pasta left Special Reserve towers to pursue their awful acting careers, leaving Mr. Snuggly to clean up the mess, as usual. It looks like Special Reserve has been saved, once again, by Banana and Pasta, our kitchen-wide heroes.
And so, my friends, this ancient tale of deceit, treacherosity and heroism has reached its end. Of course, all characters involved are entirely fictional and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental (snigger). Oh well. And there was no insult intended to any of the people I ‘used’ for this story. :D
Banana and Pasta were bored. They'd spent seven months in prison after a failed world-takeover bid, and had now spent a month as jobless slobs mooching off their diring old relative. Banana hadn't washed for several weeks, and started smelling like an old banana which had been left out in the sun for too long. Pasta on the other hand, had at least attended to his hygiene, although this didn't stop him from looking like a mouldy old piece of spaghetti. It was during another one of those long, sunny summer days when Pasta suddenly had another one of his 'brilliant' ideas.
"Banana, I've got that itch!" said Pasta, suddenly brimming with eagerness.
"Shall I get the powder" replied Banana in a lazy, sarcastic tone.
"No no, Banana, not that itch! The itch for adventure! It's been a long time we've done anything other than sit here and drink Mezzo mix laced with jam. It's time that we went out into that big wide world and started exploring!"
"But you're covered with bedsores!"
"Not covered. Anyway, look at you. You need a shave, your face is covered in hair and you stink."
"I don't stink, it's the smell of a finely matured banana. And besides, I've just been left here by the window in the sun too long and started sprouting little white hairs."
"Right, right. Well whether you're coming or not, I'm leaving. I've had enough of this room, and everybody in it."
And with that, Pasta got up off the floor, walked over to the door and tried to open it. He pushed with all his might, but it wouldn't budge.
"Oh great" said Pasta sarcasticly "You've jammed the door shut with your amazing door shutting abilities."
Banana laughed, jumped up off the ground and walked over to the door. With his little finger, Banana pushed on the handle and pulled the door open.
"Fiiine, just fine." said Pasta, and walked out into the sunshine, obviously getting angry. It was a bright, sunny day outside, and Pasta took in a deep breath of fresh air, a pleasant change to the malodourous stench of rotten Banana. Soon though, Banana followed him out into the light, and that familiar but unpleasant odour reached Pasta's nose once more. With that, they walked out into the bright sunny day, seeking the fame, riches and depths of sleaze that they had once had such infinite access to.
The sun wasn't agreeing with Banana, and Pasta could tell. After only ten minutes of brisk stroll down the road, Banana's stench radius had reached over ten yards. The plants on the other side of the road were beginning to droop. Within a few more minutes, Pasta began feeling faint, and finally decided to speak up.
"Banana, haven't you heard of a little thing called deodourant?"
"Of course I've heard of it." said Banana. "We've got a bottle of the old Febreze back at home."
"No, I mean stuff you put on YOU to get rid of your stench, not on the carpets to get rid of your stench. Honestly, we might as well decorate you with those Airwick tablets to get the message through. Even then you'd still look like a Christmas tree and smell like a rotten one. Look - if you don't do anything about your stench, then you'll have to leave me. I'm not going on an adventure with a half rotten stinking Banana."
"I don't think that smell is me. My smell is very distinct - like a rotten banana. This smell is much more striking."
And at that remark, out of the bushes ahead jumped none other than Stryke. He looked dirty. Very dirty, as though he came from a place where water didn't exist and bathing consisted of being twirled around in a centrafuge where the less dense liquids would be strained out. He had a long straggly beard, and carried a gnarled wooden staff and had a pointy hat on.
"They're after me!" cried Stryke in disdain "The police. They want to arrest me for death by odour!"
"What???" muttered Pasta in a barely audible tone.
"Don't you ever watch the news? I used to work in GAME, but I was kicked out after spending too many days playing the in-store version of Neverwinter Nights. I was driving customers away with my stench, and when one of them died I was forced to leave. Now I'm being pursued by the police AND the Guiness book of records people. Apparently, I have the worlds strongest stench!"
"Wait until you get a load of Banana!" said Pasta, "He's wanted for cruelty to animals - once, a dog tried to sniff his butt and had to get its nose amputated for the lingering smell."
"Enough of this talk" said Banana, distressed, "What do you want from us Stryke?"
"Errrm, you gotta hide me, guys. You're the only people I can turn to who won't make me take a shower."
"Alright, alright, go back to our crib and lay low for a while. The police avoid that place because there was once a false alarm when Banana accidentally swallowed some plutonium. Sure, you may get radiation poisoning, but its a small price to pay."
"Right, thanks ever so much guys, you won't regret this. I'll let you in on a little secret - there's something big going down at Special Reserve towers lately. Apparently, there's some new mysterious leader blokey who kicked Tony off his throne! Anyways, ciao!"
And with a hop and a skip and a turn to the right, Stryke disappeared off the way Pasta and Banana had come, with some vivid stink lines wafting away above his head.
"What was that all about?" asked Banana, curiously.
"Don't ask me, although you've got some stiff competition in the smelly stakes. Back to business though - that was some interesting info he gave us on the SR towers. If it's true, this could be our chance to prove ourselves once more and regain the crowns which we've deserved for so long."
"Yeah," said Banana, with a twinkle in his eye "Lets go find SonicRav, he may have some juicy info."
And with that, Banana and Pasta hurried off to find SonicRav, whom they knew would be wandering the streets aimlessly, repeating the same chunk of text over and over again.
But the sun was going down, and still no sign of Sonic. They'd tried all the computer game shops, all the internet cafes - heck, they'd even looked in Woolworths to see if SonicRav was there. But alas, no sign.
"Where could he be?" wondered Pasta alive.
"I know where he is!" suddenly piped up a small irritating passer-by who'd so obviously been eavesdropping. "He's on holiday".
"Not again", moaned Banana. "Last time we needed his help, he was in America. The time before that, he was in the worlds first 7 star hotel. Does this guy actually have a permanent address, or is his life a constant holiday"
"I dunno." said the little nuisance "I just copied that off www.ign.com. I'm Reynolds, bye the way."
"We'll keep that in mind" said Pasta, trying out his new cynicism skills which Stryke had just passed on to him.
And so Pasta and Banana plodded on down the road, towards the looming SR towers.
"We'll never have an adventure" moaned Pasta. "It's no good, they're always reserved for those special people who just pay people to be evil and take over the world and what not. Why can't we have any action in our lives."
"Hey, I get plenty of action. Ever been out on a Friday night? I tell you, it's incredibly easy to pull if you resemble a tripod when you're naked. Heh heh. Bet you've never had 'relations'."
"I have too" whined Pasta "And I know how to make love. It's simple, it's just like playing computer games. Up, left, rotate 180 degrees, engage rotor. And anyway, we're not here to talk about conquests, we're here to get an adventure. Then I can tell you about the Japanese twins I once had."
"I really didn't want to hear that." said Banana. And they walked on.
Eventually they got to the gates of SR towers, where, judging by the information given to them by Stryke (or as he'd like to be referred to as, Nyatar Stronghammer XVIII - mage and ironsmith) there was an evil imposter who'd snatched control from the arms of Tony.
"How do we get in?" asked Banana.
"It's simple" replied Pasta "We just insert our cheat code which was given to us by Tony last time we saved Special Reserve, and we're through."
"Not so fast" piped up a voice coming from a dark, dank alleyway to their left. "You can't just pop it in and expect it to work. There are regional protocols involved AND the codes have been changed."
"Who are you?" asked pasta.
"I am Edgy" said the mysterious voice, stepping out of the darkness where the voice had originated. "And don't laugh at my looks, I only just got out of bed."
"Yeah right" snickered Banana "And I'm a member of the royal family"
"Don't be rude" interrupted Pasta "Thanks for the advice. What should I do?"
"Well, if you await the release of Action Replay, it'll let you play any region video games and give you up to date cheat codes on all your favourites."
"Yeah, I would do, if it was out. I've been waiting for months!"
"Well, I've got contacts, and I've just e-mailed Datel to ask for information. If you're lucky, you'll have your reply by Monday."
"Monday!" shouted Pasta "The world will be in the midst of a Nuclear war by Monday, I need those codes now!"
"Errm, you guys, the gate IS open." Banana piped up.
"Oh yeah..." said Pasta, disgraced, shamed and blamed.
"Well, bye Edgy!" said Pasta, relieved to be rid of the interloper.
And Pasta and Banana wandered inside the Special Reserve building.
Heading up to the top floor, where all supervillains' offices are, Banana suddenly came up with a brilliant idea.
"I know, why don't we run for notable in the next election, so we can infiltrate this evil mastermind's plan from the inside and flush him out. Then we can restore order to the land."
"Errrm, think about what you're saying, Banana. you want us to wait a few months, run for an election we probably won't win, actually manage to defeat the evil mastermind who, I remind you, wants to destroy the world on Sunday, so we can't use those new cheat codes on Monday. Great plan, idiot. Plus, we're already here so the first part of your 1-step plan is void anyway."
"You're right" said Banana "We can do this... in your dreams!"
"That's good enough for me!" said Pasta, who curled up on the floor and fell asleep.
"Wake up, you idiot!" shouted Banana, so loud that the building's foudations shook.
"God, I was sleeping dude."
"Not you, the other idiot, you know, Pasta. What would we want with Kyle Gass?"
"I dunno" said Kyle, "but I can do a good scat."
"We don't need your musical abilities" said Banana "We're here to save the world!"
"Riiiiight" joked Kyle "And I'm the pope"
"Really! Can I've your autograph!" said Banana excitedly.
"No, and if you ask me again I'll sock you one!"
"Okay, okay. PASTA, GET UP, WE NEED TO GO!"
"Dude, I've been up for ages, I've been chillin with Jack Black." said Pasta.
"Well, we've got to go. Come on, time to save the world."
And with that, Pasta and Banana bade their farewells to the gods of rock, also known as the 'D'.
"Here it is, Tony's office. Lets storm in and take him by surprise" said Pasta.
"Yeah, what a good idea. And while we're at it, why don't we jump off the building. It's a more fun way of committing suicide."
"I sense sarcasm in your voice. Well, Einstein, what would YOUR plan be?"
"Hows about we... storm in and take him by surprise!"
"Dude, that was my idea"
"Yeah but did you come up with errm... hows about we storm in and take him by surprise!"
"I did, I said we'd storm in and take him by surprise! I win, I WIN, one to nothing."
"Okay, okay. Fine. You win. Let's go."
And they stormed into Tony's office, taking him completely by surprise.
"What are you guys doing here?" said Tony
"TONY!!!" shouted Pasta and Banana, simultaneously.
"Yes, that's my name. What do you want?
"Errrm, we came here to save you." said Pasta.
"God, not another pair. Snuggly, would you kindly show these two to the door, it's another load of wannabe heroes following that false rumour that I got kidnapped."
"Certainly sir" said Snuggly, brandishing a big stick with a nail poking out of it.
"Wait, if you ARE Tony, you have to prove it. What would you rather have - a flower from your sweety, a puppy or a large properly formatted data file. Choose!"
"Errrm, is the puppy mechanical in any kind of way?"
"No. It is the bad kind of puppy"
"I'll go with the flower then."
"Aha! We knew it! The Tony WE know and love would have chosen the data file to please all his lackeys on the Special Reserve forum. Die, traitor scum!"
And Pasta lunged at Tony, grabbing the stick off Snuggly and raising it to strike.
"Wait!" shouted Tony. "Isn't there some way which doesn't involve you hitting me wiv your stick?"
"I think I have a solution" piped up Banana "which will satisfy Special Reserve AND let this Tony imposter keep his dignity."
"Oh?" said Pasta.
"Yes!" said Banana, who snatched the stick off Pasta and whacked Tony around the head.
"Owww!" shouted Tony "That really hurt!"
“Really?” said Banana, sarcastically, who persisted in whacking Tony with the stick.
“Arrghhhh” screamed the imposter, who took off his mask to reveal the nefarious Shaneo!
“Shaneo!” cried Banana and Pasta at the same time.
“I thought we dealt with you” said Pasta, annoyed that this pestilence had returned.
“Well, you had, but I thought of an even better plan to take over all of Special Reserve, and I’m invincible!” cackled Shaneo
“In your dreams!” screamed Mr. Snuggly, who brandished a fireman’s helmet and hose and pummelled Shaneo with 10,000 gallons of water. The sheer force powered Shaneo out of the great glass window, who plummeted 10 stories to his death (until the next episode, anyway). His last words were “Preparation H felt so good on the whole, if only it hadn’t slipped out of my grasp!”. And with that, he crumpled onto the floor.
“Well, that sure showed him, didn’t it Banana!” said Pasta gleefully.
“It sure did, Pasta” replied Banana. “Lets go home. We got our adventure, and now we’re minor celebrities. I await our next offer to star in some cheesy B-movie.”
And with that, Banana and Pasta left Special Reserve towers to pursue their awful acting careers, leaving Mr. Snuggly to clean up the mess, as usual. It looks like Special Reserve has been saved, once again, by Banana and Pasta, our kitchen-wide heroes.
And so, my friends, this ancient tale of deceit, treacherosity and heroism has reached its end. Of course, all characters involved are entirely fictional and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental (snigger). Oh well. And there was no insult intended to any of the people I ‘used’ for this story. :D
Brilliant Mate!!!!!!
Thanks. Although Pasta wasn't actually referring to you :).
I have not bothered to read it but you deserve to win GAD
½pint wrote:
> You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and
> Pasta after their not-so-recent defeat of the nefarious Shaneo?".
Amazin
> You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and
> Pasta after their not-so-recent defeat of the nefarious Shaneo?".
Amazin
½pint wrote:
> You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE ALL THAT!!!???!!!
> You might be thinking to yourself "What happened to Banana and
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE ALL THAT!!!???!!!
Trust a noob or two to come along, quote the whole post then quote 'amazin' or 'great' or 'wow' at the end.