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Most people see sequel after sequel to games that are rubbish in the first place like Army Men and Fifa and think 'I wish all games were perfect, so we didn't have crap like this'. And quite right too. There are many new poor gams around, like King's Field and Next Generation Tennis. There are a whole load of really awful games on each and every console. So, I understand that people would lvoe to live in a world where every game was superb and no way could you buy a game that wasn't nigh on perfect. But this wouldn't be all that good, and I have proof. So gather round, and i'll tell you a tale.
"6:00am Dave sets his alarm so he can squeeze in a bit of gaming before work. He gets hooked on 'International Spy 3' and forgets the time. He suddenly panics, but completes the level first. He jumps in his car without having any breakfast.
9:56am Dave arrives late for work, and has to stay later than usual to make up. This devastates him as he was going to play 'Fantasy Role Starslayer' after work. He takes 10 minutes to calm down, before starting work. After about half an hour of daydreaming and two minutes of paperwork he decides to draw a gaming timetable. He makes sure he has time to play every game he owns at least once a week. This tiemtable covers nearly all of his free time, meaning he won't get out much. He works on the plan all morning, sacrificing his work in the process.
1:02pm Fresh from lunch, Dave sets himself a target to do all his work in the afternoon, so he can get home on time. He keeps this up for an hour, before enterign a daydream about 'Crash & Burn: Total Carnage'. He snaps out of it eventually, and rushes all his work, making a lot of mistakes. He does get home on time, and starts playing.
6:00pm He takes a short break from 'Doom Dungeon' to eat dinner. He gets straight back into playing after eating.
3:47am After playing 'Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom' for over 7 hours, he uses all his energy to turn the machine and TV off, then falls straight asleep.
9:01am He is woken by post falling through the letterbox and rushes to get ready for work. Once he is ready 'Frogs In Fierce Armour: Rage against the tadpole' for 20 minutes.
9:48am He gets a warning from the police about speeding on the way to work and arrives 18 minutes late. He doesn't do any work at all, and sleeps for the whole morning. He is woken by the bustle of people outside his office at lunch. He gets a coffee to waken him, then starts work.
4:57pm. He is all geared up to play 'Rally Deluxe 2002' when his boss enters the office. He puts all of the work that Dave did yesterday on the table and moans about the errors. Dave doesn't pay any attention and gets the sack. He is happy though, as he gets more gaming time. He gets home and 'The Curse of Evil' for 4 hours.
10:34pm He tears away from 'Taxi Daredevil' so he can sleep.
5:12am He wakes up and plays 'Armed Mice: War against the mousetraps' for 6 hours, then eats lunch and watches TV.
11:00pm He finishes a hard days gaming on the hour, then goes to sleep.
He continues the month like this.
A week on, he gets and electricity bill that is very high. He pays it with most of his savings, spending the leftover money on 'Armed Mice 2: Enter the Kitten'. He plays happily for another month.
He gets another bill which he can't pay.
A month passes, Dave hooked on games, and ignoring gettig a job. He never leaves the house, and gets fat. He mainly eats ordered Pizzas, so he is not very healthy.
Soon, the electric men come and take away all his power. He enters a 3-day depression zone. He can't afford food, a shave, but most importantly, he can't paly games.
Eventually he is thrown out of his house and sleeps rough. begging for bread and water. He sleeps on a park bench. Nobody feeds him.
One week on, Dave dies."
Perfect Gaming would not be a good thing. Be thankful some games are to be avoided, as it makes the good games we have look even better. Read reviews and be thankful for the already large quality of great games we have.
"6:00am Dave sets his alarm so he can squeeze in a bit of gaming before work. He gets hooked on 'International Spy 3' and forgets the time. He suddenly panics, but completes the level first. He jumps in his car without having any breakfast.
9:56am Dave arrives late for work, and has to stay later than usual to make up. This devastates him as he was going to play 'Fantasy Role Starslayer' after work. He takes 10 minutes to calm down, before starting work. After about half an hour of daydreaming and two minutes of paperwork he decides to draw a gaming timetable. He makes sure he has time to play every game he owns at least once a week. This tiemtable covers nearly all of his free time, meaning he won't get out much. He works on the plan all morning, sacrificing his work in the process.
1:02pm Fresh from lunch, Dave sets himself a target to do all his work in the afternoon, so he can get home on time. He keeps this up for an hour, before enterign a daydream about 'Crash & Burn: Total Carnage'. He snaps out of it eventually, and rushes all his work, making a lot of mistakes. He does get home on time, and starts playing.
6:00pm He takes a short break from 'Doom Dungeon' to eat dinner. He gets straight back into playing after eating.
3:47am After playing 'Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom' for over 7 hours, he uses all his energy to turn the machine and TV off, then falls straight asleep.
9:01am He is woken by post falling through the letterbox and rushes to get ready for work. Once he is ready 'Frogs In Fierce Armour: Rage against the tadpole' for 20 minutes.
9:48am He gets a warning from the police about speeding on the way to work and arrives 18 minutes late. He doesn't do any work at all, and sleeps for the whole morning. He is woken by the bustle of people outside his office at lunch. He gets a coffee to waken him, then starts work.
4:57pm. He is all geared up to play 'Rally Deluxe 2002' when his boss enters the office. He puts all of the work that Dave did yesterday on the table and moans about the errors. Dave doesn't pay any attention and gets the sack. He is happy though, as he gets more gaming time. He gets home and 'The Curse of Evil' for 4 hours.
10:34pm He tears away from 'Taxi Daredevil' so he can sleep.
5:12am He wakes up and plays 'Armed Mice: War against the mousetraps' for 6 hours, then eats lunch and watches TV.
11:00pm He finishes a hard days gaming on the hour, then goes to sleep.
He continues the month like this.
A week on, he gets and electricity bill that is very high. He pays it with most of his savings, spending the leftover money on 'Armed Mice 2: Enter the Kitten'. He plays happily for another month.
He gets another bill which he can't pay.
A month passes, Dave hooked on games, and ignoring gettig a job. He never leaves the house, and gets fat. He mainly eats ordered Pizzas, so he is not very healthy.
Soon, the electric men come and take away all his power. He enters a 3-day depression zone. He can't afford food, a shave, but most importantly, he can't paly games.
Eventually he is thrown out of his house and sleeps rough. begging for bread and water. He sleeps on a park bench. Nobody feeds him.
One week on, Dave dies."
Perfect Gaming would not be a good thing. Be thankful some games are to be avoided, as it makes the good games we have look even better. Read reviews and be thankful for the already large quality of great games we have.
Weirdo... :-P
Funny post. Sound alot like me when I got ToCA but I managed to avoid begging for bread and thus begged for Jacobs Crackers instead.
And I know Rage Against The Tadpole was a bad pun.
They were rip-offs of Final Fantasy, Crazy Taxi, Burnout and those online PC adventure RPGs respectively.
Frogs In Feirce Armour was a take on FIFA... :-)
Frogs In Feirce Armour was a take on FIFA... :-)
Funny post.
There's some brilliant sounding game titles in there:
Fantasy Role Starslayer
Taxi Daredevil
Crash & Burn: Total Carnage
Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom
If only they were real.... Taxi Daredevil sounds like my perfect game. :)
There's some brilliant sounding game titles in there:
Fantasy Role Starslayer
Taxi Daredevil
Crash & Burn: Total Carnage
Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom
If only they were real.... Taxi Daredevil sounds like my perfect game. :)
Most people see sequel after sequel to games that are rubbish in the first place like Army Men and Fifa and think 'I wish all games were perfect, so we didn't have crap like this'. And quite right too. There are many new poor gams around, like King's Field and Next Generation Tennis. There are a whole load of really awful games on each and every console. So, I understand that people would lvoe to live in a world where every game was superb and no way could you buy a game that wasn't nigh on perfect. But this wouldn't be all that good, and I have proof. So gather round, and i'll tell you a tale.
"6:00am Dave sets his alarm so he can squeeze in a bit of gaming before work. He gets hooked on 'International Spy 3' and forgets the time. He suddenly panics, but completes the level first. He jumps in his car without having any breakfast.
9:56am Dave arrives late for work, and has to stay later than usual to make up. This devastates him as he was going to play 'Fantasy Role Starslayer' after work. He takes 10 minutes to calm down, before starting work. After about half an hour of daydreaming and two minutes of paperwork he decides to draw a gaming timetable. He makes sure he has time to play every game he owns at least once a week. This tiemtable covers nearly all of his free time, meaning he won't get out much. He works on the plan all morning, sacrificing his work in the process.
1:02pm Fresh from lunch, Dave sets himself a target to do all his work in the afternoon, so he can get home on time. He keeps this up for an hour, before enterign a daydream about 'Crash & Burn: Total Carnage'. He snaps out of it eventually, and rushes all his work, making a lot of mistakes. He does get home on time, and starts playing.
6:00pm He takes a short break from 'Doom Dungeon' to eat dinner. He gets straight back into playing after eating.
3:47am After playing 'Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom' for over 7 hours, he uses all his energy to turn the machine and TV off, then falls straight asleep.
9:01am He is woken by post falling through the letterbox and rushes to get ready for work. Once he is ready 'Frogs In Fierce Armour: Rage against the tadpole' for 20 minutes.
9:48am He gets a warning from the police about speeding on the way to work and arrives 18 minutes late. He doesn't do any work at all, and sleeps for the whole morning. He is woken by the bustle of people outside his office at lunch. He gets a coffee to waken him, then starts work.
4:57pm. He is all geared up to play 'Rally Deluxe 2002' when his boss enters the office. He puts all of the work that Dave did yesterday on the table and moans about the errors. Dave doesn't pay any attention and gets the sack. He is happy though, as he gets more gaming time. He gets home and 'The Curse of Evil' for 4 hours.
10:34pm He tears away from 'Taxi Daredevil' so he can sleep.
5:12am He wakes up and plays 'Armed Mice: War against the mousetraps' for 6 hours, then eats lunch and watches TV.
11:00pm He finishes a hard days gaming on the hour, then goes to sleep.
He continues the month like this.
A week on, he gets and electricity bill that is very high. He pays it with most of his savings, spending the leftover money on 'Armed Mice 2: Enter the Kitten'. He plays happily for another month.
He gets another bill which he can't pay.
A month passes, Dave hooked on games, and ignoring gettig a job. He never leaves the house, and gets fat. He mainly eats ordered Pizzas, so he is not very healthy.
Soon, the electric men come and take away all his power. He enters a 3-day depression zone. He can't afford food, a shave, but most importantly, he can't paly games.
Eventually he is thrown out of his house and sleeps rough. begging for bread and water. He sleeps on a park bench. Nobody feeds him.
One week on, Dave dies."
Perfect Gaming would not be a good thing. Be thankful some games are to be avoided, as it makes the good games we have look even better. Read reviews and be thankful for the already large quality of great games we have.
"6:00am Dave sets his alarm so he can squeeze in a bit of gaming before work. He gets hooked on 'International Spy 3' and forgets the time. He suddenly panics, but completes the level first. He jumps in his car without having any breakfast.
9:56am Dave arrives late for work, and has to stay later than usual to make up. This devastates him as he was going to play 'Fantasy Role Starslayer' after work. He takes 10 minutes to calm down, before starting work. After about half an hour of daydreaming and two minutes of paperwork he decides to draw a gaming timetable. He makes sure he has time to play every game he owns at least once a week. This tiemtable covers nearly all of his free time, meaning he won't get out much. He works on the plan all morning, sacrificing his work in the process.
1:02pm Fresh from lunch, Dave sets himself a target to do all his work in the afternoon, so he can get home on time. He keeps this up for an hour, before enterign a daydream about 'Crash & Burn: Total Carnage'. He snaps out of it eventually, and rushes all his work, making a lot of mistakes. He does get home on time, and starts playing.
6:00pm He takes a short break from 'Doom Dungeon' to eat dinner. He gets straight back into playing after eating.
3:47am After playing 'Grand Cross 2: Enchanted Kingdom' for over 7 hours, he uses all his energy to turn the machine and TV off, then falls straight asleep.
9:01am He is woken by post falling through the letterbox and rushes to get ready for work. Once he is ready 'Frogs In Fierce Armour: Rage against the tadpole' for 20 minutes.
9:48am He gets a warning from the police about speeding on the way to work and arrives 18 minutes late. He doesn't do any work at all, and sleeps for the whole morning. He is woken by the bustle of people outside his office at lunch. He gets a coffee to waken him, then starts work.
4:57pm. He is all geared up to play 'Rally Deluxe 2002' when his boss enters the office. He puts all of the work that Dave did yesterday on the table and moans about the errors. Dave doesn't pay any attention and gets the sack. He is happy though, as he gets more gaming time. He gets home and 'The Curse of Evil' for 4 hours.
10:34pm He tears away from 'Taxi Daredevil' so he can sleep.
5:12am He wakes up and plays 'Armed Mice: War against the mousetraps' for 6 hours, then eats lunch and watches TV.
11:00pm He finishes a hard days gaming on the hour, then goes to sleep.
He continues the month like this.
A week on, he gets and electricity bill that is very high. He pays it with most of his savings, spending the leftover money on 'Armed Mice 2: Enter the Kitten'. He plays happily for another month.
He gets another bill which he can't pay.
A month passes, Dave hooked on games, and ignoring gettig a job. He never leaves the house, and gets fat. He mainly eats ordered Pizzas, so he is not very healthy.
Soon, the electric men come and take away all his power. He enters a 3-day depression zone. He can't afford food, a shave, but most importantly, he can't paly games.
Eventually he is thrown out of his house and sleeps rough. begging for bread and water. He sleeps on a park bench. Nobody feeds him.
One week on, Dave dies."
Perfect Gaming would not be a good thing. Be thankful some games are to be avoided, as it makes the good games we have look even better. Read reviews and be thankful for the already large quality of great games we have.