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At a sprightly 31 years of age I'm probably approaching old age at a faster pace than many of you 'youngsters'. But all of us are going to hit the age where we're put out to graze eventually! What'll they do with all us gamers 'when we're 64'....?
The 'Sunshine Retirement Home for Veteran Gamers' could be the answer. There, there'll be specially trained nurses who can plug us into our consoles at the start of the day (after a cup of tea of course), making sure that the control-pad lead doesn't get tangled up in the blankets over our knees. They'd have to get an extra large television for our failing eyesight after decades of peering at screens...and perhaps we'd need specially designed control-pads for our shaky digits. I can see it now...my friends and I sitting there muttering under our breaths, breaking wind and leering at the nurses whilst we whip through another level of Goldeneye, making comments such as 'Mmmmm...they...y'know..they don't make 'em like this anymore..' and 'Nurse...(cough,cough)come here and inser my disk for me (heh, heh, heh)'.
Of course, we'd all need more regular toilet breaks...
And every so often we'd have a 90's theme night where somebody with a Hammond organ would come along and play old Nintendo/Sega song themes whilst we bop the night away, yarning about how the grass was greener, the sky was bluer and Lara's breasts were bigger in the good old days...
I for one would be putting my name down for a place in the 'Sunshine Retirement Home' right away....
I'll see you all there in 40 or 50 years time....
Paul (the Playman) Harries
The 'Sunshine Retirement Home for Veteran Gamers' could be the answer. There, there'll be specially trained nurses who can plug us into our consoles at the start of the day (after a cup of tea of course), making sure that the control-pad lead doesn't get tangled up in the blankets over our knees. They'd have to get an extra large television for our failing eyesight after decades of peering at screens...and perhaps we'd need specially designed control-pads for our shaky digits. I can see it now...my friends and I sitting there muttering under our breaths, breaking wind and leering at the nurses whilst we whip through another level of Goldeneye, making comments such as 'Mmmmm...they...y'know..they don't make 'em like this anymore..' and 'Nurse...(cough,cough)come here and inser my disk for me (heh, heh, heh)'.
Of course, we'd all need more regular toilet breaks...
And every so often we'd have a 90's theme night where somebody with a Hammond organ would come along and play old Nintendo/Sega song themes whilst we bop the night away, yarning about how the grass was greener, the sky was bluer and Lara's breasts were bigger in the good old days...
I for one would be putting my name down for a place in the 'Sunshine Retirement Home' right away....
I'll see you all there in 40 or 50 years time....
Paul (the Playman) Harries
As fun as it sounds to sit around all day in a skid marked chair after everyone has let off in it so that i can play a soncole for 2 hours a day and spend the rest of the time having bathroom breaks and sleeping with my IV. I think i'll pass although the 90's night sounds good (don't quote me on that;D )
At a sprightly 31 years of age I'm probably approaching old age at a faster pace than many of you 'youngsters'. But all of us are going to hit the age where we're put out to graze eventually! What'll they do with all us gamers 'when we're 64'....?
The 'Sunshine Retirement Home for Veteran Gamers' could be the answer. There, there'll be specially trained nurses who can plug us into our consoles at the start of the day (after a cup of tea of course), making sure that the control-pad lead doesn't get tangled up in the blankets over our knees. They'd have to get an extra large television for our failing eyesight after decades of peering at screens...and perhaps we'd need specially designed control-pads for our shaky digits. I can see it now...my friends and I sitting there muttering under our breaths, breaking wind and leering at the nurses whilst we whip through another level of Goldeneye, making comments such as 'Mmmmm...they...y'know..they don't make 'em like this anymore..' and 'Nurse...(cough,cough)come here and inser my disk for me (heh, heh, heh)'.
Of course, we'd all need more regular toilet breaks...
And every so often we'd have a 90's theme night where somebody with a Hammond organ would come along and play old Nintendo/Sega song themes whilst we bop the night away, yarning about how the grass was greener, the sky was bluer and Lara's breasts were bigger in the good old days...
I for one would be putting my name down for a place in the 'Sunshine Retirement Home' right away....
I'll see you all there in 40 or 50 years time....
Paul (the Playman) Harries
The 'Sunshine Retirement Home for Veteran Gamers' could be the answer. There, there'll be specially trained nurses who can plug us into our consoles at the start of the day (after a cup of tea of course), making sure that the control-pad lead doesn't get tangled up in the blankets over our knees. They'd have to get an extra large television for our failing eyesight after decades of peering at screens...and perhaps we'd need specially designed control-pads for our shaky digits. I can see it now...my friends and I sitting there muttering under our breaths, breaking wind and leering at the nurses whilst we whip through another level of Goldeneye, making comments such as 'Mmmmm...they...y'know..they don't make 'em like this anymore..' and 'Nurse...(cough,cough)come here and inser my disk for me (heh, heh, heh)'.
Of course, we'd all need more regular toilet breaks...
And every so often we'd have a 90's theme night where somebody with a Hammond organ would come along and play old Nintendo/Sega song themes whilst we bop the night away, yarning about how the grass was greener, the sky was bluer and Lara's breasts were bigger in the good old days...
I for one would be putting my name down for a place in the 'Sunshine Retirement Home' right away....
I'll see you all there in 40 or 50 years time....
Paul (the Playman) Harries