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I've just got off the blower to my mate, Noah, and he's given me a bit of inside info: "When the rainy season doth return, there will be a flood of rains, bringing tremendous moistness to our lands. I am constructing an ark with which to transport pairs of every animal to safety, so that the joys of diverse creatures may perpetuate for ever more."
I didn't like the sound of that. Either I drown in tremendous moistness or I escape on Noah's ark, which will inevitably smell of wet labradors and buffalo poo. So, it has fallen upon me to organise a secondary escape-ark: which I shall call: the boat.
Seeing as Noah is rescuing all the animals, I thought it would be a good idea to rescue couples of video-game characters, so that their offspring may provide computer-generated entertainment for civilisations of the future. Below is the provisional invitation list for those couples chosen to sail to safety on... 'the boat'. My understanding of the birds and bees is a little shakey, but, hopefully, breeding will be underway by the time the waters subside... and we can all dry-off our joypads and start playing again. By we, of course, I mean me. You will, presumeably, all have drowned.
MARIO (of Super Mario fame) & CHUN LI (from Street Fighter 2)
In my eyes, the king and queen of video games. Mario's always been after a lady who doesn't need rescuing from a strange fluorescent world: so that he can stay at home eating mushrooms. Chun Li fits the bill nicely. While Mario dishes up huge cauldrons of delicious 'spaghetti al fungi', Chun Li makes impressive use of her ninja kung-fu chop in slicing tomatoes for the side salad.
[Compatability Rating: 'Swan Vesta', the perfect match]
TUROK (the dinosaur hunter) & LARA CROFT (who raids tombs)
Physically, a beautiful couple with potentially beautiful avatar-sproglets. Could be a roller-coaster relationship though. Turok comes home from work and tells Lara he's been hunting some particularly irksome raptors. Lara tells him he's lying, she's been stealing million-year old dinosaur bones from tombs, 'dinosaurs are extinct, I know that kind of thing' she says. Next thing you know, Turok's been accused of cheating with that 'blonde bimbo who works in Dead Or Alive 2'.
[Compatability Rating:'sulphur-tipped twiglets', an unlikely match... but it might just work]
ANNA KOURNIKOVA (who is in a tennis game, phew!) & TONY HAWKS (a pro skater)
I have to admit, I just couldn't let Anna drown, she may not be crucial to video games, but it's my boat... so there. And with typically dishonest intentions I plan to wait until Tony Hawks starts grinding along the hull of the arc, then push him into the sea. Ha. Then me and Anna will get married and live in a mansion with a quad-bike racing circuit in the garden... and a lake... with jet-skis... and a helipad.
[Compatability Rating:'Wimbledon vs Man U?', no chance of a match!]
I didn't like the sound of that. Either I drown in tremendous moistness or I escape on Noah's ark, which will inevitably smell of wet labradors and buffalo poo. So, it has fallen upon me to organise a secondary escape-ark: which I shall call: the boat.
Seeing as Noah is rescuing all the animals, I thought it would be a good idea to rescue couples of video-game characters, so that their offspring may provide computer-generated entertainment for civilisations of the future. Below is the provisional invitation list for those couples chosen to sail to safety on... 'the boat'. My understanding of the birds and bees is a little shakey, but, hopefully, breeding will be underway by the time the waters subside... and we can all dry-off our joypads and start playing again. By we, of course, I mean me. You will, presumeably, all have drowned.
MARIO (of Super Mario fame) & CHUN LI (from Street Fighter 2)
In my eyes, the king and queen of video games. Mario's always been after a lady who doesn't need rescuing from a strange fluorescent world: so that he can stay at home eating mushrooms. Chun Li fits the bill nicely. While Mario dishes up huge cauldrons of delicious 'spaghetti al fungi', Chun Li makes impressive use of her ninja kung-fu chop in slicing tomatoes for the side salad.
[Compatability Rating: 'Swan Vesta', the perfect match]
TUROK (the dinosaur hunter) & LARA CROFT (who raids tombs)
Physically, a beautiful couple with potentially beautiful avatar-sproglets. Could be a roller-coaster relationship though. Turok comes home from work and tells Lara he's been hunting some particularly irksome raptors. Lara tells him he's lying, she's been stealing million-year old dinosaur bones from tombs, 'dinosaurs are extinct, I know that kind of thing' she says. Next thing you know, Turok's been accused of cheating with that 'blonde bimbo who works in Dead Or Alive 2'.
[Compatability Rating:'sulphur-tipped twiglets', an unlikely match... but it might just work]
ANNA KOURNIKOVA (who is in a tennis game, phew!) & TONY HAWKS (a pro skater)
I have to admit, I just couldn't let Anna drown, she may not be crucial to video games, but it's my boat... so there. And with typically dishonest intentions I plan to wait until Tony Hawks starts grinding along the hull of the arc, then push him into the sea. Ha. Then me and Anna will get married and live in a mansion with a quad-bike racing circuit in the garden... and a lake... with jet-skis... and a helipad.
[Compatability Rating:'Wimbledon vs Man U?', no chance of a match!]
I've just got off the blower to my mate, Noah, and he's given me a bit of inside info: "When the rainy season doth return, there will be a flood of rains, bringing tremendous moistness to our lands. I am constructing an ark with which to transport pairs of every animal to safety, so that the joys of diverse creatures may perpetuate for ever more."
I didn't like the sound of that. Either I drown in tremendous moistness or I escape on Noah's ark, which will inevitably smell of wet labradors and buffalo poo. So, it has fallen upon me to organise a secondary escape-ark: which I shall call: the boat.
Seeing as Noah is rescuing all the animals, I thought it would be a good idea to rescue couples of video-game characters, so that their offspring may provide computer-generated entertainment for civilisations of the future. Below is the provisional invitation list for those couples chosen to sail to safety on... 'the boat'. My understanding of the birds and bees is a little shakey, but, hopefully, breeding will be underway by the time the waters subside... and we can all dry-off our joypads and start playing again. By we, of course, I mean me. You will, presumeably, all have drowned.
MARIO (of Super Mario fame) & CHUN LI (from Street Fighter 2)
In my eyes, the king and queen of video games. Mario's always been after a lady who doesn't need rescuing from a strange fluorescent world: so that he can stay at home eating mushrooms. Chun Li fits the bill nicely. While Mario dishes up huge cauldrons of delicious 'spaghetti al fungi', Chun Li makes impressive use of her ninja kung-fu chop in slicing tomatoes for the side salad.
[Compatability Rating: 'Swan Vesta', the perfect match]
TUROK (the dinosaur hunter) & LARA CROFT (who raids tombs)
Physically, a beautiful couple with potentially beautiful avatar-sproglets. Could be a roller-coaster relationship though. Turok comes home from work and tells Lara he's been hunting some particularly irksome raptors. Lara tells him he's lying, she's been stealing million-year old dinosaur bones from tombs, 'dinosaurs are extinct, I know that kind of thing' she says. Next thing you know, Turok's been accused of cheating with that 'blonde bimbo who works in Dead Or Alive 2'.
[Compatability Rating:'sulphur-tipped twiglets', an unlikely match... but it might just work]
ANNA KOURNIKOVA (who is in a tennis game, phew!) & TONY HAWKS (a pro skater)
I have to admit, I just couldn't let Anna drown, she may not be crucial to video games, but it's my boat... so there. And with typically dishonest intentions I plan to wait until Tony Hawks starts grinding along the hull of the arc, then push him into the sea. Ha. Then me and Anna will get married and live in a mansion with a quad-bike racing circuit in the garden... and a lake... with jet-skis... and a helipad.
[Compatability Rating:'Wimbledon vs Man U?', no chance of a match!]
I didn't like the sound of that. Either I drown in tremendous moistness or I escape on Noah's ark, which will inevitably smell of wet labradors and buffalo poo. So, it has fallen upon me to organise a secondary escape-ark: which I shall call: the boat.
Seeing as Noah is rescuing all the animals, I thought it would be a good idea to rescue couples of video-game characters, so that their offspring may provide computer-generated entertainment for civilisations of the future. Below is the provisional invitation list for those couples chosen to sail to safety on... 'the boat'. My understanding of the birds and bees is a little shakey, but, hopefully, breeding will be underway by the time the waters subside... and we can all dry-off our joypads and start playing again. By we, of course, I mean me. You will, presumeably, all have drowned.
MARIO (of Super Mario fame) & CHUN LI (from Street Fighter 2)
In my eyes, the king and queen of video games. Mario's always been after a lady who doesn't need rescuing from a strange fluorescent world: so that he can stay at home eating mushrooms. Chun Li fits the bill nicely. While Mario dishes up huge cauldrons of delicious 'spaghetti al fungi', Chun Li makes impressive use of her ninja kung-fu chop in slicing tomatoes for the side salad.
[Compatability Rating: 'Swan Vesta', the perfect match]
TUROK (the dinosaur hunter) & LARA CROFT (who raids tombs)
Physically, a beautiful couple with potentially beautiful avatar-sproglets. Could be a roller-coaster relationship though. Turok comes home from work and tells Lara he's been hunting some particularly irksome raptors. Lara tells him he's lying, she's been stealing million-year old dinosaur bones from tombs, 'dinosaurs are extinct, I know that kind of thing' she says. Next thing you know, Turok's been accused of cheating with that 'blonde bimbo who works in Dead Or Alive 2'.
[Compatability Rating:'sulphur-tipped twiglets', an unlikely match... but it might just work]
ANNA KOURNIKOVA (who is in a tennis game, phew!) & TONY HAWKS (a pro skater)
I have to admit, I just couldn't let Anna drown, she may not be crucial to video games, but it's my boat... so there. And with typically dishonest intentions I plan to wait until Tony Hawks starts grinding along the hull of the arc, then push him into the sea. Ha. Then me and Anna will get married and live in a mansion with a quad-bike racing circuit in the garden... and a lake... with jet-skis... and a helipad.
[Compatability Rating:'Wimbledon vs Man U?', no chance of a match!]
LOL! Great post.
The argument between Lara & Turok was the highlight.
The argument between Lara & Turok was the highlight.
~Just testing~
I wrote a reply to this post yet it didn't register on the post count. Strange??
I wrote a reply to this post yet it didn't register on the post count. Strange??
Lol- excellent, as per usual that was a great read. Blended with some humourous moments.
Expect this to go yellow.
Expect this to go yellow.
A GAD worthy post if there ever was one, very funny if not a little short.
Cheers folks... I always appreciate the feedback, especially when it's positive... I get a fuzzy feeling inside. In fact, I think I'll write some more right now.