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RULES OF GOLF
1.If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
2.Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.
3.When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
4.Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
5.No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
6.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.
7.When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more balls.
8.If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately
shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball
halfway there.
9.The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
10.Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
11.Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
12.A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
13.It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
14.Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
15.The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
16.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
17.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
18.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
19.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his
backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 600mph.
20.There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top
and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which
one is wearing the glove.
21.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
22.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
23.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
24.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
25.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
1.If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
2.Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.
3.When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
4.Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
5.No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
6.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.
7.When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more balls.
8.If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately
shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball
halfway there.
9.The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
10.Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
11.Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
12.A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
13.It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
14.Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
15.The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
16.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
17.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
18.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
19.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his
backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 600mph.
20.There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top
and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which
one is wearing the glove.
21.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
22.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
23.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
24.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
25.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
i hate golf so their great
RULES OF GOLF
1.If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
2.Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.
3.When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
4.Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
5.No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
6.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.
7.When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more balls.
8.If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately
shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball
halfway there.
9.The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
10.Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
11.Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
12.A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
13.It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
14.Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
15.The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
16.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
17.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
18.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
19.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his
backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 600mph.
20.There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top
and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which
one is wearing the glove.
21.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
22.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
23.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
24.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
25.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
1.If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
2.Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.
3.When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
4.Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
5.No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
6.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.
7.When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more balls.
8.If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately
shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball
halfway there.
9.The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
10.Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
11.Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
12.A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
13.It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
14.Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
15.The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
16.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
17.You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
18.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
19.To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his
backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 600mph.
20.There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top
and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which
one is wearing the glove.
21.You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
22.A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
23.If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
24.If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
25.Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.