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"I Am Turok"

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Fri 16/08/02 at 12:22
Regular
Posts: 787
I am Turok.

I run around after things ten times the size of me and attempt to hurt them with a small pocket knife or a gun. But I can beat them. It's easy, once you've got a huge dead animal to tempt them with, jump at them from a tree and stab them in the eyes with a knife. It works for me! Many times I've been tempted to put my hands over their eyes and say "Guess who!?" But I know that wouldn't work. Dinosaurs and strong. They have huge teeth and they can eat rocks, and trees, and other really big things that normal people can't eat. Well, back to killing things. Once you've stabbed the dinosaurs in the eyes, run away. They flail about like dinosaurs with no eyes. Then, if you're like me, you'll go in a cave or corner and start to cry. Cry until the huge dinosaur gets bored and falls to the ground. I usually cry for another 20 minutes, but only because I, the mighty Turok, am very scared of dinosaurs.

Collecting the dinosaur meat is easy. That is unless you throw up at the site of blood and guts. Like me. When I collect the meat, I usually cry. The main reason being because I don't like being sick. But sometimes I deal with the natives cave men people or monkeys so they collect the meat and then they get half. But sadly for me, this doesn't always happen. A lot of the time I have to collect the dinosaur meat myself. Then what happens, me, the mighty Turok, hunter of all dinosaurs, is called a girl. Just for the soul reason that my clothes go pink. But it's hardly surprising considering that I have to collect and clean meat from a 4 mile long dinosaur every day. But if anyone does call me a girl, I get my knife out! Then and point it at them! Then I start to cry. What can I say? It’s a hard life.

Making fires. I'm good at that! Well I would be if smoke didn't hurt my eyes! It's easy to collect the wood. Use the huge teeth of a dinosaur to chop down and chop up a tree. It's quick and very easy to get wood. After that, getting the meat, not too hard, I do lose about 20 litres of tears, but it's worth it. Setting it alight. Fine, very easy. All you have to do is rub two sticks together for about 10-20 minutes until it eventually starts to set alight. The put it on the fire and hey presto, you've got a fire! But after that it starts to get dangerous. Smoke hurts my eyes. A lot. So whenever I start a fire, I pass out. This means I usually burn my food and accidentally burn down a village sometimes. Then when I eventually do come to, I'm not hungry! It's quite a shame risking many peoples lives for dinner, then burning it, then not being hungry. After seeing that I've destroyed a city, I normally cry.

Finding a bed is no task For me, Turok! The best place is in the trees. Unlike cats, dinosaurs can't climb trees. So making a bed out of leaves in a tree is perfect. But you have to be quiet. If not the dinosaur will eat you. It nearly happened to me. I was singing "Come by yah, my lord!" and a dinosaur, who obviously had taste in music, started to charge at the tree. I went flying at least a mile. It felt good until I landed in something a dinosaur had left behind, it stunk. But as I'm mighty Turok, I picked up a spear and threw it straight at his neck. Sadly, it was like getting a needle stuck in your neck for him, so he ran after me. Luckily, using my skill, co-ordination and a car, I got away from him just fine. That night I slept in the back seat of the car. A lot more comfy than a wet tree. You have to use all your resources when working as a dinosaur hunter.

Me being Turok, finding friends and allies is easy! Plus it helps me on my conquest to destroy dinosaurs with huge weapons. There's a few rules you must follow if you want to become their friends though. Firstly, don't burn down their village, that's very vital thing to remember. Secondly wearing a pink shirt is a big NO-NO. It'll make you look a fool, and it clashes with spears. The final rule is not to kill anyone. You can't make friends if you've killed their whole family and a marginal amount of their best friends. Even if they do look like dinosaurs, don't. I never do, but that's through experience, being a dinosaur hunter and all. Another thing that will help you make is presents. Everyone likes them, even me, Turok. A huge piece of dinosaur meat for male friends and for females, a simple necklace made from dinosaurs teeth. Getting the meat as is easy. Making the necklaces are easy. But never, EVER, give the men a pink shirt. Okay, you want to get rid of it. Then say it's a special fire lighter. Don't say it's a shirt, you'll get forced out of the village by a mob with flaming sticks. Which certainly isn't a pretty site. Believe me!

I am Turok.

Hmm, maybe I'm taking this 'My Name Is Turok' thing too seriously. I won't be picked anyway.

Thanks for reading

RiCkOsS
Fri 16/08/02 at 12:22
Regular
Posts: 10,437
I am Turok.

I run around after things ten times the size of me and attempt to hurt them with a small pocket knife or a gun. But I can beat them. It's easy, once you've got a huge dead animal to tempt them with, jump at them from a tree and stab them in the eyes with a knife. It works for me! Many times I've been tempted to put my hands over their eyes and say "Guess who!?" But I know that wouldn't work. Dinosaurs and strong. They have huge teeth and they can eat rocks, and trees, and other really big things that normal people can't eat. Well, back to killing things. Once you've stabbed the dinosaurs in the eyes, run away. They flail about like dinosaurs with no eyes. Then, if you're like me, you'll go in a cave or corner and start to cry. Cry until the huge dinosaur gets bored and falls to the ground. I usually cry for another 20 minutes, but only because I, the mighty Turok, am very scared of dinosaurs.

Collecting the dinosaur meat is easy. That is unless you throw up at the site of blood and guts. Like me. When I collect the meat, I usually cry. The main reason being because I don't like being sick. But sometimes I deal with the natives cave men people or monkeys so they collect the meat and then they get half. But sadly for me, this doesn't always happen. A lot of the time I have to collect the dinosaur meat myself. Then what happens, me, the mighty Turok, hunter of all dinosaurs, is called a girl. Just for the soul reason that my clothes go pink. But it's hardly surprising considering that I have to collect and clean meat from a 4 mile long dinosaur every day. But if anyone does call me a girl, I get my knife out! Then and point it at them! Then I start to cry. What can I say? It’s a hard life.

Making fires. I'm good at that! Well I would be if smoke didn't hurt my eyes! It's easy to collect the wood. Use the huge teeth of a dinosaur to chop down and chop up a tree. It's quick and very easy to get wood. After that, getting the meat, not too hard, I do lose about 20 litres of tears, but it's worth it. Setting it alight. Fine, very easy. All you have to do is rub two sticks together for about 10-20 minutes until it eventually starts to set alight. The put it on the fire and hey presto, you've got a fire! But after that it starts to get dangerous. Smoke hurts my eyes. A lot. So whenever I start a fire, I pass out. This means I usually burn my food and accidentally burn down a village sometimes. Then when I eventually do come to, I'm not hungry! It's quite a shame risking many peoples lives for dinner, then burning it, then not being hungry. After seeing that I've destroyed a city, I normally cry.

Finding a bed is no task For me, Turok! The best place is in the trees. Unlike cats, dinosaurs can't climb trees. So making a bed out of leaves in a tree is perfect. But you have to be quiet. If not the dinosaur will eat you. It nearly happened to me. I was singing "Come by yah, my lord!" and a dinosaur, who obviously had taste in music, started to charge at the tree. I went flying at least a mile. It felt good until I landed in something a dinosaur had left behind, it stunk. But as I'm mighty Turok, I picked up a spear and threw it straight at his neck. Sadly, it was like getting a needle stuck in your neck for him, so he ran after me. Luckily, using my skill, co-ordination and a car, I got away from him just fine. That night I slept in the back seat of the car. A lot more comfy than a wet tree. You have to use all your resources when working as a dinosaur hunter.

Me being Turok, finding friends and allies is easy! Plus it helps me on my conquest to destroy dinosaurs with huge weapons. There's a few rules you must follow if you want to become their friends though. Firstly, don't burn down their village, that's very vital thing to remember. Secondly wearing a pink shirt is a big NO-NO. It'll make you look a fool, and it clashes with spears. The final rule is not to kill anyone. You can't make friends if you've killed their whole family and a marginal amount of their best friends. Even if they do look like dinosaurs, don't. I never do, but that's through experience, being a dinosaur hunter and all. Another thing that will help you make is presents. Everyone likes them, even me, Turok. A huge piece of dinosaur meat for male friends and for females, a simple necklace made from dinosaurs teeth. Getting the meat as is easy. Making the necklaces are easy. But never, EVER, give the men a pink shirt. Okay, you want to get rid of it. Then say it's a special fire lighter. Don't say it's a shirt, you'll get forced out of the village by a mob with flaming sticks. Which certainly isn't a pretty site. Believe me!

I am Turok.

Hmm, maybe I'm taking this 'My Name Is Turok' thing too seriously. I won't be picked anyway.

Thanks for reading

RiCkOsS
Fri 16/08/02 at 12:23
Regular
"wow"
Posts: 558
SUCH CR-AP, you did this yesterday, you cheat.
Fri 16/08/02 at 12:28
Regular
Posts: 10,437
I didn't see your topic. Anyway, it's obviously different to what you wrote, so how am I a cheat? You won't have read it anyway, I posted it a second ago.
Fri 16/08/02 at 12:30
Regular
"One Of A Kind"
Posts: 1,914
c wrote:
> SUCH CR-AP, you did this yesterday, you cheat.

just shut up!!!
Fri 16/08/02 at 20:21
Regular
Posts: 10,437
Blazing Anton wrote:
> c wrote:
> SUCH CR-AP, you did this yesterday, you cheat.
>
> just shut up!!!

I get you don't like this guy? Like the most of the population. :-D
Sat 17/08/02 at 11:17
Regular
Posts: 10,437
POP!

(Somebody has to read it)
Sat 17/08/02 at 21:13
Regular
"Peace Respect Punk"
Posts: 8,069
Parts of that made me laugh out loud. "They flail around like dinosaurs with no eyes"... :D

Anyway... interesting. Good tips there for any budding dino hunter...
Mon 19/08/02 at 19:26
Regular
Posts: 10,437
It's nice to help a fellow hunter if it means saving lives...

:-D
Mon 19/08/02 at 19:31
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Sibs wrote:
> Anyway... interesting. Good tips there for any budding dino hunter...


That'll be me then.

"Come taste lead suckas!"

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