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hi please could i have opinions on my brother and i future problem.
I am a 58 years old and live with my husband and son i have been a good daughter all my life to my mum and visited her twice a week since leaving home to get married at 18.
My brother is 56 and has never left home or married he lives with my mum in a 3 bed house which is payed for by my dad who has passed away years ago, he has been my 85 year old mums carer for 6 years now with the help of carers who come in 3 times a day to wash change mum ect, i do what i can, i do there house cleaning change mums bed do mums washing and get her medication from the chemist mum is in bed most of the time and she has dementia she lives on ensure drinks and a weetabix for breakfast.
Most of my brother life he has been unemployed mum did everythink for him until 6 years ago, when she was took ill my brother was unemployed when he became mums carer 6 years ago.
My brother gets carer allowance of £50 a week and mum lets him have her i think about £48 attendance allowance and whats left from her pensions ect for him looking after her all in all he get about £250
Mum has not made a will and she is not up to making one now because of her dementia, In that case my brother and i are entitled to by law 50% of mums house each (which is all she has to leave ) i would not expect my brother to sell the house he lives in so he could give me my share as mum would like him to live there when she is gone and my brother wants to still live there too. The likelihood of him getting a job to pay me my share so he could remortgage the house to pay me are not good. I would not expect him to give me 50% of the houses value as he has been looking after her and i am grateful for him doing that and i would like him to have mums house.
Since being mums carer my brother told me he has saved up £28000 (in his bank account) out of what was left from mums pension works pension ect (when the house bills were paid) plus he has spent during that time about £10.000 on ebay on vintage items that he says he will be able to sell to get money in the future. I feel because of these circumstances that it would be nice if he could give me some. What do you out there think?
Do you out there think i am being unreasonable to want some of my brothers savings if not how much would be fair for me to have of mums money my brother has in his account, or should he have it all for looking after mum?I have a feeling that he wants to keep the money he has.
I am grateful that he has been looking after her and that she didnt have to go in a care home as she would have hated it if she did.
Just to say If my brother could not cope in the future and we had to get a paid carer in to help him i would like him to pay out of the savings he has saved out of mums left over money for it, i feel that even though it is in his bank account it came from my mum so it should be used for mums care. What do you think? My mum is my main concern and i would not mind if my brother had nothing left for me out of his savings when and if the time comes. .
By the way there is only my brother and i in this family.
Please asked any question about the message that you don't understand i will be only too happy to answer them.
Thank you for looking. Hope i can get some of your views on our situation.
I am a 58 years old and live with my husband and son i have been a good daughter all my life to my mum and visited her twice a week since leaving home to get married at 18.
My brother is 56 and has never left home or married he lives with my mum in a 3 bed house which is payed for by my dad who has passed away years ago, he has been my 85 year old mums carer for 6 years now with the help of carers who come in 3 times a day to wash change mum ect, i do what i can, i do there house cleaning change mums bed do mums washing and get her medication from the chemist mum is in bed most of the time and she has dementia she lives on ensure drinks and a weetabix for breakfast.
Most of my brother life he has been unemployed mum did everythink for him until 6 years ago, when she was took ill my brother was unemployed when he became mums carer 6 years ago.
My brother gets carer allowance of £50 a week and mum lets him have her i think about £48 attendance allowance and whats left from her pensions ect for him looking after her all in all he get about £250
Mum has not made a will and she is not up to making one now because of her dementia, In that case my brother and i are entitled to by law 50% of mums house each (which is all she has to leave ) i would not expect my brother to sell the house he lives in so he could give me my share as mum would like him to live there when she is gone and my brother wants to still live there too. The likelihood of him getting a job to pay me my share so he could remortgage the house to pay me are not good. I would not expect him to give me 50% of the houses value as he has been looking after her and i am grateful for him doing that and i would like him to have mums house.
Since being mums carer my brother told me he has saved up £28000 (in his bank account) out of what was left from mums pension works pension ect (when the house bills were paid) plus he has spent during that time about £10.000 on ebay on vintage items that he says he will be able to sell to get money in the future. I feel because of these circumstances that it would be nice if he could give me some. What do you out there think?
Do you out there think i am being unreasonable to want some of my brothers savings if not how much would be fair for me to have of mums money my brother has in his account, or should he have it all for looking after mum?I have a feeling that he wants to keep the money he has.
I am grateful that he has been looking after her and that she didnt have to go in a care home as she would have hated it if she did.
Just to say If my brother could not cope in the future and we had to get a paid carer in to help him i would like him to pay out of the savings he has saved out of mums left over money for it, i feel that even though it is in his bank account it came from my mum so it should be used for mums care. What do you think? My mum is my main concern and i would not mind if my brother had nothing left for me out of his savings when and if the time comes. .
By the way there is only my brother and i in this family.
Please asked any question about the message that you don't understand i will be only too happy to answer them.
Thank you for looking. Hope i can get some of your views on our situation.
hi please could i have opinions on my brother and i future problem.
I am a 58 years old and live with my husband and son i have been a good daughter all my life to my mum and visited her twice a week since leaving home to get married at 18.
My brother is 56 and has never left home or married he lives with my mum in a 3 bed house which is payed for by my dad who has passed away years ago, he has been my 85 year old mums carer for 6 years now with the help of carers who come in 3 times a day to wash change mum ect, i do what i can, i do there house cleaning change mums bed do mums washing and get her medication from the chemist mum is in bed most of the time and she has dementia she lives on ensure drinks and a weetabix for breakfast.
Most of my brother life he has been unemployed mum did everythink for him until 6 years ago, when she was took ill my brother was unemployed when he became mums carer 6 years ago.
My brother gets carer allowance of £50 a week and mum lets him have her i think about £48 attendance allowance and whats left from her pensions ect for him looking after her all in all he get about £250
Mum has not made a will and she is not up to making one now because of her dementia, In that case my brother and i are entitled to by law 50% of mums house each (which is all she has to leave ) i would not expect my brother to sell the house he lives in so he could give me my share as mum would like him to live there when she is gone and my brother wants to still live there too. The likelihood of him getting a job to pay me my share so he could remortgage the house to pay me are not good. I would not expect him to give me 50% of the houses value as he has been looking after her and i am grateful for him doing that and i would like him to have mums house.
Since being mums carer my brother told me he has saved up £28000 (in his bank account) out of what was left from mums pension works pension ect (when the house bills were paid) plus he has spent during that time about £10.000 on ebay on vintage items that he says he will be able to sell to get money in the future. I feel because of these circumstances that it would be nice if he could give me some. What do you out there think?
Do you out there think i am being unreasonable to want some of my brothers savings if not how much would be fair for me to have of mums money my brother has in his account, or should he have it all for looking after mum?I have a feeling that he wants to keep the money he has.
I am grateful that he has been looking after her and that she didnt have to go in a care home as she would have hated it if she did.
Just to say If my brother could not cope in the future and we had to get a paid carer in to help him i would like him to pay out of the savings he has saved out of mums left over money for it, i feel that even though it is in his bank account it came from my mum so it should be used for mums care. What do you think? My mum is my main concern and i would not mind if my brother had nothing left for me out of his savings when and if the time comes. .
By the way there is only my brother and i in this family.
Please asked any question about the message that you don't understand i will be only too happy to answer them.
Thank you for looking. Hope i can get some of your views on our situation.
I am a 58 years old and live with my husband and son i have been a good daughter all my life to my mum and visited her twice a week since leaving home to get married at 18.
My brother is 56 and has never left home or married he lives with my mum in a 3 bed house which is payed for by my dad who has passed away years ago, he has been my 85 year old mums carer for 6 years now with the help of carers who come in 3 times a day to wash change mum ect, i do what i can, i do there house cleaning change mums bed do mums washing and get her medication from the chemist mum is in bed most of the time and she has dementia she lives on ensure drinks and a weetabix for breakfast.
Most of my brother life he has been unemployed mum did everythink for him until 6 years ago, when she was took ill my brother was unemployed when he became mums carer 6 years ago.
My brother gets carer allowance of £50 a week and mum lets him have her i think about £48 attendance allowance and whats left from her pensions ect for him looking after her all in all he get about £250
Mum has not made a will and she is not up to making one now because of her dementia, In that case my brother and i are entitled to by law 50% of mums house each (which is all she has to leave ) i would not expect my brother to sell the house he lives in so he could give me my share as mum would like him to live there when she is gone and my brother wants to still live there too. The likelihood of him getting a job to pay me my share so he could remortgage the house to pay me are not good. I would not expect him to give me 50% of the houses value as he has been looking after her and i am grateful for him doing that and i would like him to have mums house.
Since being mums carer my brother told me he has saved up £28000 (in his bank account) out of what was left from mums pension works pension ect (when the house bills were paid) plus he has spent during that time about £10.000 on ebay on vintage items that he says he will be able to sell to get money in the future. I feel because of these circumstances that it would be nice if he could give me some. What do you out there think?
Do you out there think i am being unreasonable to want some of my brothers savings if not how much would be fair for me to have of mums money my brother has in his account, or should he have it all for looking after mum?I have a feeling that he wants to keep the money he has.
I am grateful that he has been looking after her and that she didnt have to go in a care home as she would have hated it if she did.
Just to say If my brother could not cope in the future and we had to get a paid carer in to help him i would like him to pay out of the savings he has saved out of mums left over money for it, i feel that even though it is in his bank account it came from my mum so it should be used for mums care. What do you think? My mum is my main concern and i would not mind if my brother had nothing left for me out of his savings when and if the time comes. .
By the way there is only my brother and i in this family.
Please asked any question about the message that you don't understand i will be only too happy to answer them.
Thank you for looking. Hope i can get some of your views on our situation.
Anyone care to start...:)
Perhaps Vampyr could lend his legal knowledge to this conundrum:)
Perhaps Vampyr could lend his legal knowledge to this conundrum:)
My personal opinion:
° whatever your brother has in his account is his unless he stole any of it;
° if your mother is not up to making a will then you or your brother should try for something like power of attorney to prevent her being taken advantage of;
° any agreement between you, your brother and anyone else regarding money, possessions etc. and what happens to them needs to be in the form of a legal contract;
Again, these are my personal opinions and I'm sorry if I offend or upset you.
This really isn't the best place to ask this sort of thing -- I'd suggest trying somewhere like the Citizen's Advice Bureau for a start.
° whatever your brother has in his account is his unless he stole any of it;
° if your mother is not up to making a will then you or your brother should try for something like power of attorney to prevent her being taken advantage of;
° any agreement between you, your brother and anyone else regarding money, possessions etc. and what happens to them needs to be in the form of a legal contract;
Again, these are my personal opinions and I'm sorry if I offend or upset you.
This really isn't the best place to ask this sort of thing -- I'd suggest trying somewhere like the Citizen's Advice Bureau for a start.
Just proves the old saying I suppose. Money is thicker than blood.
The money he has is his so i would say no, you have absolutely no entitlement to it.
As for the house, 50% is yours, 50% is his. You wont be able to sell it out from under him so unless you can come to some sort of agreement, you're lumbered with ownership of half a house. I'd suggest to him that he doesn't need a house to himself and to downgrade to something smaller.
As for the house, 50% is yours, 50% is his. You wont be able to sell it out from under him so unless you can come to some sort of agreement, you're lumbered with ownership of half a house. I'd suggest to him that he doesn't need a house to himself and to downgrade to something smaller.
Timmargh wrote:
> This really isn't the best place to ask this sort of
> thing -- I'd suggest trying somewhere like the Citizen's Advice
> Bureau for a start.
Sound advice at last...
> This really isn't the best place to ask this sort of
> thing -- I'd suggest trying somewhere like the Citizen's Advice
> Bureau for a start.
Sound advice at last...