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Dear Bil... I mean Mr. Gates
I have wanted to write to you for quite a long time now, but all I got from your PR was "I am sorry Mr. Gates is out spendin... I mean giving money to people who are in need of desperate attention or for people who are nearly broke like Xbox owne... I mean people who take funds from the government". I decided to give it one last try and see if I could get through to you or not. As you are aware you recently released Microsoft's first console onto the market and so far no matter how many time I see stall owners shouting "2 for a pound" it just doesn't seem to work, maybe this is you marketing technique, are you sure you marketing directors chose the correct market? The last person I saw who bought an Xbox got a console which had cabbage leaves all over it, this could have been down to Mrs. Bradbury’s knock-off vegetable store but I am not sure what they give away with consoles today.
Anyway, moving on... Oh yes that was it, is it true that they have cloned you and even made mini Bills that will one day steal from the poor and give to yourself? If so congratulations on taking the first giant step into world domination. I recently purchased a copy of OXM for £69.99, I don't know if it is me but the last time I stol... I mean purchased a magazine it was quite a bit cheaper than this. How is Mrs. Bil... I mean Gates? Has she recovered from her broken hands, I think you had better hurry along with the S-Controller before you take more casualties, after all what will you use for fire-light if you don't have any money?
After reading about you $2 billion investment into Microsoft over the next 2 years I thought you wouldn't mind contributing to my pocket money, I wouldn't normally be so up front about but my dad said, "It wouldn't kill the greedy..." I mean he wondered what it would be like to hold money that had once been in the hands of Dr. Evil’s twin broth... Sorry, I am getting carried away with all this world domination talk, please excuse my cheek. (Cheques made payable to J. Garbe please do not send cash through the post)
Please stop making those posters where you are sat staring at computer screens, my grandma is obsessed with you and her room is full of screen shots and posters of you sitting, looking endlessly intro the heart of a Hard-Drive, she even stopped taking her pills for a whole week which caused out families name to be black-listed in all major beauty and hair saloons when she walked in with a Goatee and a top lip that even you would be proud of.
Is it true that you make something called windows? Why on earth do you make windows, what next will there be Microsoft underwear? Hang on a minute my Grandma would like to ask you something, she would like to know if you have you ever thought of modelling the latest motherboards or maybe doing a bit of top-less video card work? (Please do not reply with an answer to that question I am only 15 and it will ruin my existence and scar me for life if I come home to find sample pictures).
Anyway I will have to rap things up as my pen is starting to run out and I don't want to have to grovel in the streets again looking for something to write with (hint, hint). Please reply to this letter as you are the only hope that I have, you try living with a grandma that loves your idol and a father that wants to join you world-domination classes at the local college, I don't want to sound un-grateful but life is so unfair! If you somehow decide to not reply to this letter just remember this, I am 15 years of age, I have no food, money or clothes, the pen I am writing this letter with was found outside a garbage disposal factory and is running out of ink, I sleep on my Xbox (however my feet don't stick off the edge) and I currently have no games for the system, can you find it in your heart to give me £1 million? If so then I will scrap my letters to Nintendo and So... I mean keep on tying to get through to you. Thank you for taking the time to read this Bill, I will go sit by the letter box now and decide what I will spend the money on.
Yours Sincerely
J. Garbe
(p.s Only reply if you are serious about making a cash donation)
I have wanted to write to you for quite a long time now, but all I got from your PR was "I am sorry Mr. Gates is out spendin... I mean giving money to people who are in need of desperate attention or for people who are nearly broke like Xbox owne... I mean people who take funds from the government". I decided to give it one last try and see if I could get through to you or not. As you are aware you recently released Microsoft's first console onto the market and so far no matter how many time I see stall owners shouting "2 for a pound" it just doesn't seem to work, maybe this is you marketing technique, are you sure you marketing directors chose the correct market? The last person I saw who bought an Xbox got a console which had cabbage leaves all over it, this could have been down to Mrs. Bradbury’s knock-off vegetable store but I am not sure what they give away with consoles today.
Anyway, moving on... Oh yes that was it, is it true that they have cloned you and even made mini Bills that will one day steal from the poor and give to yourself? If so congratulations on taking the first giant step into world domination. I recently purchased a copy of OXM for £69.99, I don't know if it is me but the last time I stol... I mean purchased a magazine it was quite a bit cheaper than this. How is Mrs. Bil... I mean Gates? Has she recovered from her broken hands, I think you had better hurry along with the S-Controller before you take more casualties, after all what will you use for fire-light if you don't have any money?
After reading about you $2 billion investment into Microsoft over the next 2 years I thought you wouldn't mind contributing to my pocket money, I wouldn't normally be so up front about but my dad said, "It wouldn't kill the greedy..." I mean he wondered what it would be like to hold money that had once been in the hands of Dr. Evil’s twin broth... Sorry, I am getting carried away with all this world domination talk, please excuse my cheek. (Cheques made payable to J. Garbe please do not send cash through the post)
Please stop making those posters where you are sat staring at computer screens, my grandma is obsessed with you and her room is full of screen shots and posters of you sitting, looking endlessly intro the heart of a Hard-Drive, she even stopped taking her pills for a whole week which caused out families name to be black-listed in all major beauty and hair saloons when she walked in with a Goatee and a top lip that even you would be proud of.
Is it true that you make something called windows? Why on earth do you make windows, what next will there be Microsoft underwear? Hang on a minute my Grandma would like to ask you something, she would like to know if you have you ever thought of modelling the latest motherboards or maybe doing a bit of top-less video card work? (Please do not reply with an answer to that question I am only 15 and it will ruin my existence and scar me for life if I come home to find sample pictures).
Anyway I will have to rap things up as my pen is starting to run out and I don't want to have to grovel in the streets again looking for something to write with (hint, hint). Please reply to this letter as you are the only hope that I have, you try living with a grandma that loves your idol and a father that wants to join you world-domination classes at the local college, I don't want to sound un-grateful but life is so unfair! If you somehow decide to not reply to this letter just remember this, I am 15 years of age, I have no food, money or clothes, the pen I am writing this letter with was found outside a garbage disposal factory and is running out of ink, I sleep on my Xbox (however my feet don't stick off the edge) and I currently have no games for the system, can you find it in your heart to give me £1 million? If so then I will scrap my letters to Nintendo and So... I mean keep on tying to get through to you. Thank you for taking the time to read this Bill, I will go sit by the letter box now and decide what I will spend the money on.
Yours Sincerely
J. Garbe
(p.s Only reply if you are serious about making a cash donation)
LOL, I agree, sometimes we won't give to the people who really need it and for the ones that have it all we spend what little money we have on them! That is irony at its best/worst which ever way you look at it.
It's ironic isn't it that we give what little money we have to a company which is run by a multi-billionaire! But it's worth it.... at least I think it is?
Dear Bil... I mean Mr. Gates
I have wanted to write to you for quite a long time now, but all I got from your PR was "I am sorry Mr. Gates is out spendin... I mean giving money to people who are in need of desperate attention or for people who are nearly broke like Xbox owne... I mean people who take funds from the government". I decided to give it one last try and see if I could get through to you or not. As you are aware you recently released Microsoft's first console onto the market and so far no matter how many time I see stall owners shouting "2 for a pound" it just doesn't seem to work, maybe this is you marketing technique, are you sure you marketing directors chose the correct market? The last person I saw who bought an Xbox got a console which had cabbage leaves all over it, this could have been down to Mrs. Bradbury’s knock-off vegetable store but I am not sure what they give away with consoles today.
Anyway, moving on... Oh yes that was it, is it true that they have cloned you and even made mini Bills that will one day steal from the poor and give to yourself? If so congratulations on taking the first giant step into world domination. I recently purchased a copy of OXM for £69.99, I don't know if it is me but the last time I stol... I mean purchased a magazine it was quite a bit cheaper than this. How is Mrs. Bil... I mean Gates? Has she recovered from her broken hands, I think you had better hurry along with the S-Controller before you take more casualties, after all what will you use for fire-light if you don't have any money?
After reading about you $2 billion investment into Microsoft over the next 2 years I thought you wouldn't mind contributing to my pocket money, I wouldn't normally be so up front about but my dad said, "It wouldn't kill the greedy..." I mean he wondered what it would be like to hold money that had once been in the hands of Dr. Evil’s twin broth... Sorry, I am getting carried away with all this world domination talk, please excuse my cheek. (Cheques made payable to J. Garbe please do not send cash through the post)
Please stop making those posters where you are sat staring at computer screens, my grandma is obsessed with you and her room is full of screen shots and posters of you sitting, looking endlessly intro the heart of a Hard-Drive, she even stopped taking her pills for a whole week which caused out families name to be black-listed in all major beauty and hair saloons when she walked in with a Goatee and a top lip that even you would be proud of.
Is it true that you make something called windows? Why on earth do you make windows, what next will there be Microsoft underwear? Hang on a minute my Grandma would like to ask you something, she would like to know if you have you ever thought of modelling the latest motherboards or maybe doing a bit of top-less video card work? (Please do not reply with an answer to that question I am only 15 and it will ruin my existence and scar me for life if I come home to find sample pictures).
Anyway I will have to rap things up as my pen is starting to run out and I don't want to have to grovel in the streets again looking for something to write with (hint, hint). Please reply to this letter as you are the only hope that I have, you try living with a grandma that loves your idol and a father that wants to join you world-domination classes at the local college, I don't want to sound un-grateful but life is so unfair! If you somehow decide to not reply to this letter just remember this, I am 15 years of age, I have no food, money or clothes, the pen I am writing this letter with was found outside a garbage disposal factory and is running out of ink, I sleep on my Xbox (however my feet don't stick off the edge) and I currently have no games for the system, can you find it in your heart to give me £1 million? If so then I will scrap my letters to Nintendo and So... I mean keep on tying to get through to you. Thank you for taking the time to read this Bill, I will go sit by the letter box now and decide what I will spend the money on.
Yours Sincerely
J. Garbe
(p.s Only reply if you are serious about making a cash donation)
I have wanted to write to you for quite a long time now, but all I got from your PR was "I am sorry Mr. Gates is out spendin... I mean giving money to people who are in need of desperate attention or for people who are nearly broke like Xbox owne... I mean people who take funds from the government". I decided to give it one last try and see if I could get through to you or not. As you are aware you recently released Microsoft's first console onto the market and so far no matter how many time I see stall owners shouting "2 for a pound" it just doesn't seem to work, maybe this is you marketing technique, are you sure you marketing directors chose the correct market? The last person I saw who bought an Xbox got a console which had cabbage leaves all over it, this could have been down to Mrs. Bradbury’s knock-off vegetable store but I am not sure what they give away with consoles today.
Anyway, moving on... Oh yes that was it, is it true that they have cloned you and even made mini Bills that will one day steal from the poor and give to yourself? If so congratulations on taking the first giant step into world domination. I recently purchased a copy of OXM for £69.99, I don't know if it is me but the last time I stol... I mean purchased a magazine it was quite a bit cheaper than this. How is Mrs. Bil... I mean Gates? Has she recovered from her broken hands, I think you had better hurry along with the S-Controller before you take more casualties, after all what will you use for fire-light if you don't have any money?
After reading about you $2 billion investment into Microsoft over the next 2 years I thought you wouldn't mind contributing to my pocket money, I wouldn't normally be so up front about but my dad said, "It wouldn't kill the greedy..." I mean he wondered what it would be like to hold money that had once been in the hands of Dr. Evil’s twin broth... Sorry, I am getting carried away with all this world domination talk, please excuse my cheek. (Cheques made payable to J. Garbe please do not send cash through the post)
Please stop making those posters where you are sat staring at computer screens, my grandma is obsessed with you and her room is full of screen shots and posters of you sitting, looking endlessly intro the heart of a Hard-Drive, she even stopped taking her pills for a whole week which caused out families name to be black-listed in all major beauty and hair saloons when she walked in with a Goatee and a top lip that even you would be proud of.
Is it true that you make something called windows? Why on earth do you make windows, what next will there be Microsoft underwear? Hang on a minute my Grandma would like to ask you something, she would like to know if you have you ever thought of modelling the latest motherboards or maybe doing a bit of top-less video card work? (Please do not reply with an answer to that question I am only 15 and it will ruin my existence and scar me for life if I come home to find sample pictures).
Anyway I will have to rap things up as my pen is starting to run out and I don't want to have to grovel in the streets again looking for something to write with (hint, hint). Please reply to this letter as you are the only hope that I have, you try living with a grandma that loves your idol and a father that wants to join you world-domination classes at the local college, I don't want to sound un-grateful but life is so unfair! If you somehow decide to not reply to this letter just remember this, I am 15 years of age, I have no food, money or clothes, the pen I am writing this letter with was found outside a garbage disposal factory and is running out of ink, I sleep on my Xbox (however my feet don't stick off the edge) and I currently have no games for the system, can you find it in your heart to give me £1 million? If so then I will scrap my letters to Nintendo and So... I mean keep on tying to get through to you. Thank you for taking the time to read this Bill, I will go sit by the letter box now and decide what I will spend the money on.
Yours Sincerely
J. Garbe
(p.s Only reply if you are serious about making a cash donation)