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"Welcome to the show, today we have a man with nothing to lose in the studio, he was once a man with prospects, he was dearly loved by all that knew him and was especially a man with attitude, now... all that is left is a man that is travelling around the world going on all the worst chat progra... I mean living a life of luxury and mixing with the best people, just when you thought this man couldn't get any shallower, he agreed to come on my show, ladies and gentlemen please welcome... Mr. Payne!"
*Crowd hiss and boo as the backstage door is kicked open and in dives Max Payne*
"Welcome to the show, please take a seat Max". Now as I understand you are on USA's most wanted list and are currently on the run, is that correct?" "I didn't like the way the show started, they has given me the best seat in the house, front row, centre. The studio was dim with light, the after-math of New-York was catching up as I stared down the barrel of a camera, I knew that I had nothing to lose". "OK... Now would you please try to answer the question Mr. Payne, I don't get paid peanuts from ITV for nothing". "My life was once a happy existence, I was living the American Dream, I had a beautiful wife and daughter, but it was no longer to be". "Is this why you decided to come on the show?"
*Deadly silence from Max Payne*
"OK... Moving on from that, what made you seek out the people that killed your family, made your life hell, almost took away your existence and made your world crunch up into a little ball of hatred and evil?" "The floor was distance memory of the past, the colours on the walls were a sign of things to come, but I knew that in order to seek vengeance I would have to over come these ornate feelings that angered my mere existence". "Mr. Payne, is there a reason why you refuse to answer my questions? Is there a reason why you keep rambling on in the background?
*Crowd become anxious and hostile as people begin to walk out of the studio*
"Corruption, money and evil are the new rulers of our world, once an existence was what I had, but drugs and marketing influences dominate our society, the pain was stating all over again, I had even lowered myself to come on Trisha". "Can't you do something like... Start a fight with someone for the audience? If my ratings fall then ITV won't keep me on, without ITV keeping me on those peanuts will no-longer be roasted they will be dry ready salted".
*Ted Young the Trailer Trash loser from Cleethorpes stands up and runs onto the stage the crowd chant, fight, fight, fight, fight as Trisha sits back and watches the peanuts role in*
"Stand up Payne; they don't call me Typhoon Ted for nothing". "Life was nothing but an advertisement campaign, after taking on the evil from the gutters of New York, a pub loser from Cleethorpes was next on my list, I loaded up my dual Micro-phone as I lunged through the air, time slowed down and everything seemed like a distant memory". "Bang...Bang...Bang," Max bashes the micro-phone over Ted's head in slow motion!
*ITV project the Just for men advert*
"Welcome back to Trisha", as viewers may have already gathered, we have Max Payne on the show, but why do they call him a violent man? Let’s ask him to find out why, Mr. Payne, do you have any ideas as to why people class you as a violent man? "Life was soon becoming a whirl-pool of psychotic jokes, I can feel the world rapping around my core being, I can feel my soul clenching like a fist as I express my anger out on the people that surround my very existence". "So... From that I think we can safely say that Mr.Payne is not strictly responsible for his own actions, I don't believe that Mr.Payne is a violent man *Producer refers to Ted Young as Trisha frantically searches and disconnects her Micro-phone leading to studio*.
*The final 3 people left in the crowd leave through the side door as the audience micro-phone picks up on the popcorn packet which was dropped on the way out*
"I would just like to leave one final thought on my experience with Max Payne, after spending the last... *Assistant director spells out time with fingers* 26 da... I mean Minutes here with this man I assume that he is both not violent and quite a charming man *Closes Higher Ratings advice book*, I still haven't found any evidence which explains why Mr. Payne inflicted the vengeance on his families killers and why he wanted to pay someone back for ruining his life before driving over it and then away into the sun-set, it wasn't like they stole his Make-Up bag or how to be the worlds most Trashy TV presenter book was it? One day the truth will come out about Max Payne and I for one will not bother reading up about it, my reputation as a good chat show host would be shot out of the sky if the papers got hold of 'Trisha Reads Book', I mean lets face it I haven't had one successful show yet, why spoil such a good reputation?
*Max Payne leaves out of the side door, flicks his collar up, puts hands in pockets and heads off into the deep depths of the ITV studio*
"Thank you for joining us and remember the number to dial is 0800 - I AM A LOSER if you would like to take part on the show, but remember only people who are mentally challenged are welcome on the show, I can not handle anyone who might fire questions at me like "what is your name", I am not paid to do so and it would only complicate things. Until next time don't read, work or increase you intelligence otherwise this show will no longer be able to follow the simplicity of this show, thank you and goodbye!
*Crowd hiss and boo as the backstage door is kicked open and in dives Max Payne*
"Welcome to the show, please take a seat Max". Now as I understand you are on USA's most wanted list and are currently on the run, is that correct?" "I didn't like the way the show started, they has given me the best seat in the house, front row, centre. The studio was dim with light, the after-math of New-York was catching up as I stared down the barrel of a camera, I knew that I had nothing to lose". "OK... Now would you please try to answer the question Mr. Payne, I don't get paid peanuts from ITV for nothing". "My life was once a happy existence, I was living the American Dream, I had a beautiful wife and daughter, but it was no longer to be". "Is this why you decided to come on the show?"
*Deadly silence from Max Payne*
"OK... Moving on from that, what made you seek out the people that killed your family, made your life hell, almost took away your existence and made your world crunch up into a little ball of hatred and evil?" "The floor was distance memory of the past, the colours on the walls were a sign of things to come, but I knew that in order to seek vengeance I would have to over come these ornate feelings that angered my mere existence". "Mr. Payne, is there a reason why you refuse to answer my questions? Is there a reason why you keep rambling on in the background?
*Crowd become anxious and hostile as people begin to walk out of the studio*
"Corruption, money and evil are the new rulers of our world, once an existence was what I had, but drugs and marketing influences dominate our society, the pain was stating all over again, I had even lowered myself to come on Trisha". "Can't you do something like... Start a fight with someone for the audience? If my ratings fall then ITV won't keep me on, without ITV keeping me on those peanuts will no-longer be roasted they will be dry ready salted".
*Ted Young the Trailer Trash loser from Cleethorpes stands up and runs onto the stage the crowd chant, fight, fight, fight, fight as Trisha sits back and watches the peanuts role in*
"Stand up Payne; they don't call me Typhoon Ted for nothing". "Life was nothing but an advertisement campaign, after taking on the evil from the gutters of New York, a pub loser from Cleethorpes was next on my list, I loaded up my dual Micro-phone as I lunged through the air, time slowed down and everything seemed like a distant memory". "Bang...Bang...Bang," Max bashes the micro-phone over Ted's head in slow motion!
*ITV project the Just for men advert*
"Welcome back to Trisha", as viewers may have already gathered, we have Max Payne on the show, but why do they call him a violent man? Let’s ask him to find out why, Mr. Payne, do you have any ideas as to why people class you as a violent man? "Life was soon becoming a whirl-pool of psychotic jokes, I can feel the world rapping around my core being, I can feel my soul clenching like a fist as I express my anger out on the people that surround my very existence". "So... From that I think we can safely say that Mr.Payne is not strictly responsible for his own actions, I don't believe that Mr.Payne is a violent man *Producer refers to Ted Young as Trisha frantically searches and disconnects her Micro-phone leading to studio*.
*The final 3 people left in the crowd leave through the side door as the audience micro-phone picks up on the popcorn packet which was dropped on the way out*
"I would just like to leave one final thought on my experience with Max Payne, after spending the last... *Assistant director spells out time with fingers* 26 da... I mean Minutes here with this man I assume that he is both not violent and quite a charming man *Closes Higher Ratings advice book*, I still haven't found any evidence which explains why Mr. Payne inflicted the vengeance on his families killers and why he wanted to pay someone back for ruining his life before driving over it and then away into the sun-set, it wasn't like they stole his Make-Up bag or how to be the worlds most Trashy TV presenter book was it? One day the truth will come out about Max Payne and I for one will not bother reading up about it, my reputation as a good chat show host would be shot out of the sky if the papers got hold of 'Trisha Reads Book', I mean lets face it I haven't had one successful show yet, why spoil such a good reputation?
*Max Payne leaves out of the side door, flicks his collar up, puts hands in pockets and heads off into the deep depths of the ITV studio*
"Thank you for joining us and remember the number to dial is 0800 - I AM A LOSER if you would like to take part on the show, but remember only people who are mentally challenged are welcome on the show, I can not handle anyone who might fire questions at me like "what is your name", I am not paid to do so and it would only complicate things. Until next time don't read, work or increase you intelligence otherwise this show will no longer be able to follow the simplicity of this show, thank you and goodbye!
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"Welcome to the show, today we have a man with nothing to lose in the studio, he was once a man with prospects, he was dearly loved by all that knew him and was especially a man with attitude, now... all that is left is a man that is travelling around the world going on all the worst chat progra... I mean living a life of luxury and mixing with the best people, just when you thought this man couldn't get any shallower, he agreed to come on my show, ladies and gentlemen please welcome... Mr. Payne!"
*Crowd hiss and boo as the backstage door is kicked open and in dives Max Payne*
"Welcome to the show, please take a seat Max". Now as I understand you are on USA's most wanted list and are currently on the run, is that correct?" "I didn't like the way the show started, they has given me the best seat in the house, front row, centre. The studio was dim with light, the after-math of New-York was catching up as I stared down the barrel of a camera, I knew that I had nothing to lose". "OK... Now would you please try to answer the question Mr. Payne, I don't get paid peanuts from ITV for nothing". "My life was once a happy existence, I was living the American Dream, I had a beautiful wife and daughter, but it was no longer to be". "Is this why you decided to come on the show?"
*Deadly silence from Max Payne*
"OK... Moving on from that, what made you seek out the people that killed your family, made your life hell, almost took away your existence and made your world crunch up into a little ball of hatred and evil?" "The floor was distance memory of the past, the colours on the walls were a sign of things to come, but I knew that in order to seek vengeance I would have to over come these ornate feelings that angered my mere existence". "Mr. Payne, is there a reason why you refuse to answer my questions? Is there a reason why you keep rambling on in the background?
*Crowd become anxious and hostile as people begin to walk out of the studio*
"Corruption, money and evil are the new rulers of our world, once an existence was what I had, but drugs and marketing influences dominate our society, the pain was stating all over again, I had even lowered myself to come on Trisha". "Can't you do something like... Start a fight with someone for the audience? If my ratings fall then ITV won't keep me on, without ITV keeping me on those peanuts will no-longer be roasted they will be dry ready salted".
*Ted Young the Trailer Trash loser from Cleethorpes stands up and runs onto the stage the crowd chant, fight, fight, fight, fight as Trisha sits back and watches the peanuts role in*
"Stand up Payne; they don't call me Typhoon Ted for nothing". "Life was nothing but an advertisement campaign, after taking on the evil from the gutters of New York, a pub loser from Cleethorpes was next on my list, I loaded up my dual Micro-phone as I lunged through the air, time slowed down and everything seemed like a distant memory". "Bang...Bang...Bang," Max bashes the micro-phone over Ted's head in slow motion!
*ITV project the Just for men advert*
"Welcome back to Trisha", as viewers may have already gathered, we have Max Payne on the show, but why do they call him a violent man? Let’s ask him to find out why, Mr. Payne, do you have any ideas as to why people class you as a violent man? "Life was soon becoming a whirl-pool of psychotic jokes, I can feel the world rapping around my core being, I can feel my soul clenching like a fist as I express my anger out on the people that surround my very existence". "So... From that I think we can safely say that Mr.Payne is not strictly responsible for his own actions, I don't believe that Mr.Payne is a violent man *Producer refers to Ted Young as Trisha frantically searches and disconnects her Micro-phone leading to studio*.
*The final 3 people left in the crowd leave through the side door as the audience micro-phone picks up on the popcorn packet which was dropped on the way out*
"I would just like to leave one final thought on my experience with Max Payne, after spending the last... *Assistant director spells out time with fingers* 26 da... I mean Minutes here with this man I assume that he is both not violent and quite a charming man *Closes Higher Ratings advice book*, I still haven't found any evidence which explains why Mr. Payne inflicted the vengeance on his families killers and why he wanted to pay someone back for ruining his life before driving over it and then away into the sun-set, it wasn't like they stole his Make-Up bag or how to be the worlds most Trashy TV presenter book was it? One day the truth will come out about Max Payne and I for one will not bother reading up about it, my reputation as a good chat show host would be shot out of the sky if the papers got hold of 'Trisha Reads Book', I mean lets face it I haven't had one successful show yet, why spoil such a good reputation?
*Max Payne leaves out of the side door, flicks his collar up, puts hands in pockets and heads off into the deep depths of the ITV studio*
"Thank you for joining us and remember the number to dial is 0800 - I AM A LOSER if you would like to take part on the show, but remember only people who are mentally challenged are welcome on the show, I can not handle anyone who might fire questions at me like "what is your name", I am not paid to do so and it would only complicate things. Until next time don't read, work or increase you intelligence otherwise this show will no longer be able to follow the simplicity of this show, thank you and goodbye!
*Crowd hiss and boo as the backstage door is kicked open and in dives Max Payne*
"Welcome to the show, please take a seat Max". Now as I understand you are on USA's most wanted list and are currently on the run, is that correct?" "I didn't like the way the show started, they has given me the best seat in the house, front row, centre. The studio was dim with light, the after-math of New-York was catching up as I stared down the barrel of a camera, I knew that I had nothing to lose". "OK... Now would you please try to answer the question Mr. Payne, I don't get paid peanuts from ITV for nothing". "My life was once a happy existence, I was living the American Dream, I had a beautiful wife and daughter, but it was no longer to be". "Is this why you decided to come on the show?"
*Deadly silence from Max Payne*
"OK... Moving on from that, what made you seek out the people that killed your family, made your life hell, almost took away your existence and made your world crunch up into a little ball of hatred and evil?" "The floor was distance memory of the past, the colours on the walls were a sign of things to come, but I knew that in order to seek vengeance I would have to over come these ornate feelings that angered my mere existence". "Mr. Payne, is there a reason why you refuse to answer my questions? Is there a reason why you keep rambling on in the background?
*Crowd become anxious and hostile as people begin to walk out of the studio*
"Corruption, money and evil are the new rulers of our world, once an existence was what I had, but drugs and marketing influences dominate our society, the pain was stating all over again, I had even lowered myself to come on Trisha". "Can't you do something like... Start a fight with someone for the audience? If my ratings fall then ITV won't keep me on, without ITV keeping me on those peanuts will no-longer be roasted they will be dry ready salted".
*Ted Young the Trailer Trash loser from Cleethorpes stands up and runs onto the stage the crowd chant, fight, fight, fight, fight as Trisha sits back and watches the peanuts role in*
"Stand up Payne; they don't call me Typhoon Ted for nothing". "Life was nothing but an advertisement campaign, after taking on the evil from the gutters of New York, a pub loser from Cleethorpes was next on my list, I loaded up my dual Micro-phone as I lunged through the air, time slowed down and everything seemed like a distant memory". "Bang...Bang...Bang," Max bashes the micro-phone over Ted's head in slow motion!
*ITV project the Just for men advert*
"Welcome back to Trisha", as viewers may have already gathered, we have Max Payne on the show, but why do they call him a violent man? Let’s ask him to find out why, Mr. Payne, do you have any ideas as to why people class you as a violent man? "Life was soon becoming a whirl-pool of psychotic jokes, I can feel the world rapping around my core being, I can feel my soul clenching like a fist as I express my anger out on the people that surround my very existence". "So... From that I think we can safely say that Mr.Payne is not strictly responsible for his own actions, I don't believe that Mr.Payne is a violent man *Producer refers to Ted Young as Trisha frantically searches and disconnects her Micro-phone leading to studio*.
*The final 3 people left in the crowd leave through the side door as the audience micro-phone picks up on the popcorn packet which was dropped on the way out*
"I would just like to leave one final thought on my experience with Max Payne, after spending the last... *Assistant director spells out time with fingers* 26 da... I mean Minutes here with this man I assume that he is both not violent and quite a charming man *Closes Higher Ratings advice book*, I still haven't found any evidence which explains why Mr. Payne inflicted the vengeance on his families killers and why he wanted to pay someone back for ruining his life before driving over it and then away into the sun-set, it wasn't like they stole his Make-Up bag or how to be the worlds most Trashy TV presenter book was it? One day the truth will come out about Max Payne and I for one will not bother reading up about it, my reputation as a good chat show host would be shot out of the sky if the papers got hold of 'Trisha Reads Book', I mean lets face it I haven't had one successful show yet, why spoil such a good reputation?
*Max Payne leaves out of the side door, flicks his collar up, puts hands in pockets and heads off into the deep depths of the ITV studio*
"Thank you for joining us and remember the number to dial is 0800 - I AM A LOSER if you would like to take part on the show, but remember only people who are mentally challenged are welcome on the show, I can not handle anyone who might fire questions at me like "what is your name", I am not paid to do so and it would only complicate things. Until next time don't read, work or increase you intelligence otherwise this show will no longer be able to follow the simplicity of this show, thank you and goodbye!