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"Nerdcer"

Ever since man has been alive, it’s been there to defend itself. No matter what happens, you are the main thing what matters and you’re always there to look out for your own well-being. Man has developed to its way of life through vast amounts of technological advancements, which mean we are now able to survive in a world, with our main fears being of each other. By creating weapons, we’ve been able to defend ourselves, by creating knifes and spears we’ve been able to feed ourselves, by creating homes we’ve been able to care for ourselves, and by creating computers we’ve been able to entertain ourselves. Of course, a cure doesn’t exist for every known disease, for every venomous bite, and for every disorder, but we’re getting closer each day. But now, a new disease is spreading through the United Kingdom, which has been affecting children and adults alike in a similar fashion for the past few years. I present to you “Nerdcer”.

Nerdcer was discovered by Dr. Fredricka on the 14th July 2002, and has since this time, made the world stood up and take notice. More commonly seen in males, it attacks the nerves connected to the brain, and instead of malfunctioning them, it increases the overall capacity of the brain. Scientists are baffled by the recent discovery, and only explanation is that computers are actually increasing the overall intelligent of people, although these are only rumours, we can speculate for ourselves the real truth.

Symptoms for the Nerdcer disease include:
Being able to name over 20 porn sites in alphabetical order
Believing you’re doing this for the good of your own being
Changing the refresh rate
Checking the MAXmtu settings ,
Clocking the processor for fun
Configuring Registry strings
Excessive use of computer
Missing meals to stay online,
Knowing and commonly using every abbreviation that the Internet has to offer
Knowing your best friends by their nickname
Understanding every error in Windows


An official report is being made and is soon to be printed and published; informing parents of the dangers of this new found disease. Although, it appears, that the only bad of it that has come is Windows itself, Dr’s and Scientists, believe, for the first time, that a disease may indeed be used to increase the intelligence of those with special needs. But, not all is well. As with everything else, there are side effects, and this is no exception. Within 2 days of Nerdcer being discovered, 17-year-old student Patrick Thistlewait was discovered in his room in a decaying state in which witnesses describe as “horrific”. The cause – Nerdcer.

Made even more frequent with the advances in technology, the parents of Patrick are seeking legal representation in order to sue software and hardware companies for the pain their family has been through. Not only having set them back nearly £5,000 in costs, along with monthly subscriptions to P* G*mer, .N*t, Comp*ter Adv*sor, a monthly £60 phone bill through Satellite connection and an electricity bill which has yet to been disclosed, it has cost them their sons life. In a brief statement, Margaret Thistlewait proclaimed, “Due to the increase in processors being bought out each month, my son was always occupied with something to do, which ultimately lead to his death. Something needs to be done, before another family falls victim to this awful disease”.

Turbonutter was said to be “Ecstatic”
Reaper refused to comment
Tyla was too busy working to reply
“This was my plan all along. I never intended to make any money,” commented Bill Gates.

Reply, damn it. This topic trully rules.

This is a very deadly disease, ladies and gentleman. Be aware.

Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
> Symptoms for the Nerdcer disease include:
> Excessive use of computer

No kiddin :|

Shocktrooper wrote:
> How will your insane actions stop me from using your words?


Umm... Err...

hush.

RBS: King of Logic

Lol!
That should make the front page anyday! Well, in The Sun, anyway :D

How will your insane actions stop me from using your words?

:-D

RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Soo

Soho even.

I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, Ad, but if that's how you want it, so be it.

At 10:08 Chris get's his blue flashing light and strips nekked.

At 10:09 Chris Goes to find the guards van

At 10:09 and 31 seconds, Chris finds it.

At 10:10 Chris starts dancing.

At 10:11 Chris is arrested.

At 10:11. and 34 seconds Chris tries to make a run for it. He forget's that he is in fact in the back of a police van.

At 11:21 Chris will wake up with concussion and a headache.

At 11:21 and 43 seconds Chris will realise he's in a police cell in London. naked.

The thrilling conclusion of Chris' journey, complete with Soo and strumpets will be aired next week. Will he get escape? will he be charged? More importantly, will he find some clothes?

Tune in to find out.

~~~~~~~

Errr... yeah...

Good post Tom :-D

Ho-hum!
Mexcellent!
Excellenté!

And the rest!

:D

I expect to see you on the front page of many newspapers tomorrow, Chris.

:-D

Shocktrooper wrote:
> Ho-hum!

OI!

DOn't make me dance naked with a blue light on my head next to the guards carriage on the London Underground, Ad!

Even inteligent is too hard to spell.

See, I spelt it wrong again.