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A neon symbol of a fairy. A camp fairy. It is The MoJo Signal.
But to truly understand why this symbol flashes in the sky, you have to go back in time many years. Well, 3 months. But anyway....
--
MoJo sauntered out of his house. Then he sauntered back in. He was practising his saunter, and he thought he had it nailed.
"Damn good saunter you've got there." said a dark figure standing at the gate.
"Lo Snuggly." said MoJo, tripping over a stone. "Damn. That was your fault, wasn't it?"
"No. Shut up. You've been selected for the next superhero."
"Sod off."
"You don't want to wear tight rubber and prance about Gotham City?"
"No. Neighbours is on, and Drew's having a baby by Karl. If you make me miss it..."
"Ok, do you want to save Newcastle from a new and evil threat?"
"How much will you pay me?"
Snuggly sighed, and pointed to something at his feet. It was a big lamp.
"Wow." said MoJo. "A big lamp. Can't wait to tell my friends. None of them has a lamp this big."
"It's yours. The MoJo Signal. Whenever it flashes in the sky, you must saunter to fight crime."
MoJo considered this.
"Well, OK. But only if Rakuga's not over, and I'm not hungry. And maybe if I don't feel it. In fact, no, I cannae be bothered."
"This is your sacred duty. You are the Chosen One. One girl in all the world, born with the strength and skill to fight the vampires..."
MoJo sighed. "You've gotten confused again, haven't you?"
Snuggly scratched his head. "You are the Slayer! She alone..."
"OI! I'm no girl. Look, I got my first stubble the other day!"
Snuggly shrugged. "OK, you're merely camp. Now, you must fight crime. I am off to watch Neighbours. Shame to miss it, after all."
MoJo picked up the lamp. "Aren't you going to say something about GADs and newbies? Thats what you usually do in these spoofs?"
"Nah."
"Fair enough."
--
The MoJo Signal flashes across the sky, and out of a house saunters a figure clad in lycra.
"FOR I AM MOJOMAN!"
A tiny person clad in lilac lycra burst out of the door.
"AND I AM RAKUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...shiiiiiiiiiii..."
MoJo sighed. "Honestly, you're supposed to be my sidekick. We've got to save the world. Can't you maintain a little dignity."
"I'm wearing bloody lilac here. How much dignity am I supposed to have?"
"TO THE MOJOMOBILE!"
"Your mums Micra?"
MoJo hesitated. "We call it the MOJOMOBILE!"
"But we are talking about your mums Micra?"
"Yes."
--
MoJoMan and Rakuga arrived at the MoJo Signal.
"Thank god you're here." gasped Snuggly.
"Yes, whenever evil threatens, we are here."
Snuggly looked them up and down. "In pink and lilac?"
"I told you we should have gone for the mauve!" yelled Rakuga.
"Quiet child. Lilac brings out your eyes..." MoJo hesitated. "I didn't say that! I'm gay."
"Of course not."
"I'm not!"
"You're not."
"Glad thats settled. What seems to be the problem, Snuggly?" said MoJo.
"Oh, nothing much. I'm just glad we can take this depressingly camp fairy signal down. The problem is the sighting of a Man-Shaped Penguin in Newcastle."
"A Man-Shaped Penguin, you say? A penguin shaped exactly like a man?"
"Yes."
"So, you might say A Man. Nothing remotely Penguin about it?"
"Yes, I suppose so. Whats your point?"
MoJo clapped a hand over his eyes. Snuggly looked irritated.
"We believe this Man-Shaped Penguin to be targeting the cast of Auf Weidersehen Pet."
"Ye gods, why?!"
"You've obviously never watched Auf Weidersehen Pet."
Rakuga, at this point, has tripped over his overlarge lilac tights, and is involved in a comical tussle with himself.
"So, what does this Man-Sh..This man call himself?" asked MoJo.
"He goes by many aliases. Guy Pearce is one."
"And the others?"
"Well...can't think of any right now."
MoJo sighed.
"Well, I'd best go and foil him then! Where's he at?"
Snuggly shrugged.
"Fine. Any idea of known contacts?" At this comment, Snuggly began jumping up and down on the spot excitedly.
"Ooh, I know this one. He is in contact with another man."
"Right. Name?"
"Hell if I know. I'm not even a proper cop."
MoJo sighed again, heavily. "Right, I'll start at the television studio. COME RAKUGA!"
Rakuga stopped what he was doing. "What, in public?"
--
The Micra pulled up to the Newcastle television studio. Then it broke down.
"Damn."
Rakuga fell out of the back window.
"Damn."
MoJo tripped over the clutch somehow on the way out.
"Damn."
They kicked open the door and then realised it was a revolving door.
"We suck at this superhero business." commented Rakuga.
"You're the one wearing lilac."
"Fair point."
"ALRIGHT GUY PEARCE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
A voice echoed from a closet.
"As I've told the press many time, there's nothing to come out of! I'm not gay!"
"Just get the hell out of the closet."
"No. It's nice and warm and there's a coat I like in here somewhere."
MoJo kicked in the closet, and Guy Pearce fell out.
"He doesn't look a bit like a penguin!" remarked Rakuga.
"Eh? Penguin?" said Guy Pearce.
"Nevermind. You're under arrest."
"Why?"
"For trying to assassinate the cast of Auf Weidersehen Pet."
"Who? What? How? What?"
"Four very good questions, but Head of Police Snuggly told us.."
"Wait, Head of Newcastle Police is a fella called Loki. Nice chap, likes strippers and getting drunk."
MoJo looked stunned.
"So who's the guy who's been giving you and your gnome orders?" asked Guy Pearce.
"Not a gnome." remarked Rakuga
"Quiet you." said MoJo, puzzled. "Hm, this looks like a case for MOJOMAN! TO THE MOJOMOBILE! You as well Mike."
--
"Is that a Micra?"
"Shut it Aussie boy."
--
Will MoJoMan find Snuggly and work out who he is?
No, probably not.
Nice to see I was in the story. ;0)
(And yes I did read all of it)
>
>
> That was about someone else.... I need her NOW.
--
Judging from your description, I need her now too :)
> You're both gay. Argument settled :)
Turn the lights down low, and I will show you where to go.
The moonlight plays across your skin...
(jokes)
That was about someone else.... I need her NOW.
> "What, that you suck?" was the last thing he said to me when
> I told him "hang on" :( he's nasty.
-------
No, you said you'd just figured something out, then I said "What, that you suck?"
See? It was witty! What you said makes no sense :)
:-)
> "I cannae be bothered."
>
> Let me just say, that I have never said that. Ever
No. He says "I'd chin ya but I can't be a$$ed"
Anyway, interesting Stryke, I'm just suprised it took you this long to come up with a comeback after all the spoofs you've been in.
And I'm not camp. The only thing that relates me to camp is cub scouts and watching Graham Norton. Apart from that I am totally 100% non-camp.
And why does MoJo always treat me bad :(
"What, that you suck?" was the last thing he said to me when I told him "hang on" :( he's nasty.
Let me just say, that I have never said that. Ever
Anyway, some funny stuff there, Stryke me lad. Funny indeed
A neon symbol of a fairy. A camp fairy. It is The MoJo Signal.
But to truly understand why this symbol flashes in the sky, you have to go back in time many years. Well, 3 months. But anyway....
--
MoJo sauntered out of his house. Then he sauntered back in. He was practising his saunter, and he thought he had it nailed.
"Damn good saunter you've got there." said a dark figure standing at the gate.
"Lo Snuggly." said MoJo, tripping over a stone. "Damn. That was your fault, wasn't it?"
"No. Shut up. You've been selected for the next superhero."
"Sod off."
"You don't want to wear tight rubber and prance about Gotham City?"
"No. Neighbours is on, and Drew's having a baby by Karl. If you make me miss it..."
"Ok, do you want to save Newcastle from a new and evil threat?"
"How much will you pay me?"
Snuggly sighed, and pointed to something at his feet. It was a big lamp.
"Wow." said MoJo. "A big lamp. Can't wait to tell my friends. None of them has a lamp this big."
"It's yours. The MoJo Signal. Whenever it flashes in the sky, you must saunter to fight crime."
MoJo considered this.
"Well, OK. But only if Rakuga's not over, and I'm not hungry. And maybe if I don't feel it. In fact, no, I cannae be bothered."
"This is your sacred duty. You are the Chosen One. One girl in all the world, born with the strength and skill to fight the vampires..."
MoJo sighed. "You've gotten confused again, haven't you?"
Snuggly scratched his head. "You are the Slayer! She alone..."
"OI! I'm no girl. Look, I got my first stubble the other day!"
Snuggly shrugged. "OK, you're merely camp. Now, you must fight crime. I am off to watch Neighbours. Shame to miss it, after all."
MoJo picked up the lamp. "Aren't you going to say something about GADs and newbies? Thats what you usually do in these spoofs?"
"Nah."
"Fair enough."
--
The MoJo Signal flashes across the sky, and out of a house saunters a figure clad in lycra.
"FOR I AM MOJOMAN!"
A tiny person clad in lilac lycra burst out of the door.
"AND I AM RAKUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...shiiiiiiiiiii..."
MoJo sighed. "Honestly, you're supposed to be my sidekick. We've got to save the world. Can't you maintain a little dignity."
"I'm wearing bloody lilac here. How much dignity am I supposed to have?"
"TO THE MOJOMOBILE!"
"Your mums Micra?"
MoJo hesitated. "We call it the MOJOMOBILE!"
"But we are talking about your mums Micra?"
"Yes."
--
MoJoMan and Rakuga arrived at the MoJo Signal.
"Thank god you're here." gasped Snuggly.
"Yes, whenever evil threatens, we are here."
Snuggly looked them up and down. "In pink and lilac?"
"I told you we should have gone for the mauve!" yelled Rakuga.
"Quiet child. Lilac brings out your eyes..." MoJo hesitated. "I didn't say that! I'm gay."
"Of course not."
"I'm not!"
"You're not."
"Glad thats settled. What seems to be the problem, Snuggly?" said MoJo.
"Oh, nothing much. I'm just glad we can take this depressingly camp fairy signal down. The problem is the sighting of a Man-Shaped Penguin in Newcastle."
"A Man-Shaped Penguin, you say? A penguin shaped exactly like a man?"
"Yes."
"So, you might say A Man. Nothing remotely Penguin about it?"
"Yes, I suppose so. Whats your point?"
MoJo clapped a hand over his eyes. Snuggly looked irritated.
"We believe this Man-Shaped Penguin to be targeting the cast of Auf Weidersehen Pet."
"Ye gods, why?!"
"You've obviously never watched Auf Weidersehen Pet."
Rakuga, at this point, has tripped over his overlarge lilac tights, and is involved in a comical tussle with himself.
"So, what does this Man-Sh..This man call himself?" asked MoJo.
"He goes by many aliases. Guy Pearce is one."
"And the others?"
"Well...can't think of any right now."
MoJo sighed.
"Well, I'd best go and foil him then! Where's he at?"
Snuggly shrugged.
"Fine. Any idea of known contacts?" At this comment, Snuggly began jumping up and down on the spot excitedly.
"Ooh, I know this one. He is in contact with another man."
"Right. Name?"
"Hell if I know. I'm not even a proper cop."
MoJo sighed again, heavily. "Right, I'll start at the television studio. COME RAKUGA!"
Rakuga stopped what he was doing. "What, in public?"
--
The Micra pulled up to the Newcastle television studio. Then it broke down.
"Damn."
Rakuga fell out of the back window.
"Damn."
MoJo tripped over the clutch somehow on the way out.
"Damn."
They kicked open the door and then realised it was a revolving door.
"We suck at this superhero business." commented Rakuga.
"You're the one wearing lilac."
"Fair point."
"ALRIGHT GUY PEARCE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
A voice echoed from a closet.
"As I've told the press many time, there's nothing to come out of! I'm not gay!"
"Just get the hell out of the closet."
"No. It's nice and warm and there's a coat I like in here somewhere."
MoJo kicked in the closet, and Guy Pearce fell out.
"He doesn't look a bit like a penguin!" remarked Rakuga.
"Eh? Penguin?" said Guy Pearce.
"Nevermind. You're under arrest."
"Why?"
"For trying to assassinate the cast of Auf Weidersehen Pet."
"Who? What? How? What?"
"Four very good questions, but Head of Police Snuggly told us.."
"Wait, Head of Newcastle Police is a fella called Loki. Nice chap, likes strippers and getting drunk."
MoJo looked stunned.
"So who's the guy who's been giving you and your gnome orders?" asked Guy Pearce.
"Not a gnome." remarked Rakuga
"Quiet you." said MoJo, puzzled. "Hm, this looks like a case for MOJOMAN! TO THE MOJOMOBILE! You as well Mike."
--
"Is that a Micra?"
"Shut it Aussie boy."
--
Will MoJoMan find Snuggly and work out who he is?
No, probably not.