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DAY 1
The morning after Grix and Rasta saved me, I met up with a few of their friends. MJ said sorry for nearly killing me and he started to tell me about how big a fan he was of me, I get it all the time, doesn’t anyone think I get sick of it? Obviously not. Anyway, I got to know some other people like Slik, who I didn’t get to meet because he was doing his hair for 12 hours, I briefly met Uncle Albert before he had to go to the hospital about constipation. One of the favourites I met had to be Fog, he was so happy. He had just got a new cloak and hat with the £50 he got off Grix, which Rasta hadn’t paid back, so whenever anyone asked where Fog got his new things Rasta tried to change the subject so that Grix wouldn’t remember. Fog tried to shave off his beard but he just looked stupid so we got it back from the bin and stuck it onto his chin, it smelled a lot stale fish and cod liver oil. He didn’t seem to care though he had to rush off to ‘meet’ someone.
So after a couple of hours of talking to MJ, Slik, Grix and Rasta, they told me what was going to have to happen, I didn’t really like the idea of it, but who would want to be put in a sealed box with a biscuit, courtesy of Cookie Monster, and a torch? I really don’t think anyone would answer yes to that. So anyway, they put me a dog bowl to wash me, I was going to see Miyamoto after all, but somehow dog didn’t make me much cleaner. I ended up eating some soap, Rasta said “It cleans you on the inside then soaks through, you get very clean very fast!” That liar, it’ll take years of therapy to get that taste out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to break his GameCube and make him cry, it would be unfair on the GameCube so I had to settle with watching him sit on a nail. It’s like a second Christmas.
Rasta went off to hospital and it was time for me to get into a box with a biscuit and torch. I asked Grix to make some air holes for me, sadly he tried to stab me with a nail before I explained that I meant in the box and not in me. It was weird, because as much as I hated the idea of going in a box, I was looking forward, sure it would be no watching Rasta get a nail stuck up him, when you’ve never done something like this before, you get excited about it. Anyway, I went into this tiny box wondering what was going to happen, was I going to get smuggled to Japan? Pretend to be luggage?? No, Grix was putting me in a letterbox. All that excitement ruined, oh well, it might not be as boring as I expect, maybe a lovely post lady would come and get me.
I started to munch away on my biscuit through boredom, just then noticed how big the air holes were. I managed to rip my through one of them. Finally a bit of space, a lot of letters, but a bit a space nonetheless. I turned on the torch. In a situation like this there’s only two thing you can do – swim on the letters or read them. I figured that swimming would be good, until I did it. I kept drowning in the letters and having to drag myself back to the top of the pile, so I rethought what I should do, at that time reading the letters seemed like a much better idea. I ripped open the first one a started to read it. Supposedly Mrs. Smith won’t go back to that cheating pig of a husband and Aunty Albert’s got an extension onto Uncle Albert’s Zimmer frame so he can ‘try day and night’. I felt a bit horrible doing this, but that didn’t stop me! What did stop me was someone saying “Hey! Get off that or I’ll use my magic to send you to the moon!” Like anyone would, I hid under all the letters and began to cry and beg “Don’t-a hurt me! I’m-a Mario.” It was only when I emerged from the letters I realised it was Fog, who else wears a pink cape and hat?
I asked him what he was doing here, he didn’t really want to answer when he realised it was me. “I’m here because, errr, I wanted to wish you luck and assist you with my magical powers!” I knew he was lying, he knew I knew he was lying, I knew he knew I knew he was lying, and it goes on like that, but it didn’t bother me, he can’t being anything that embarrassing in a post box. I asked him how to get out of this post box, he said he could help if I had some money, so I gave him £50. It was a bad mistake, for about 20 minutes he was making funny noises and mumbling ‘magic’ words. I didn’t think anything was going to happen, it didn’t really, well nothing magical. But a letter did come through the letterbox and hit Fog in the head. Even though it was funny, I didn’t laugh, if it happened to me I wouldn’t want someone to be laughing at me. Instead I picked him up and gave him a bit of my biscuit.
After a while he was okay and ready to work his magic again. He closed his eyes and did the ‘magic’ talk again. After about 10 minutes of this he opened his eyes and said “The magic is telling me. Turn to your left, then walk forward and push.” I started to push, but the wall was solid, but I kept pushing and eventually the wall swung open and I fell into the postman’s bag. The postman opened it. Fog sure did time it right. It was a comfy bag though, so what else could I do but go to sleep?
DAY 2
I was woken up by the sound of someone’s voice telling me to “Get up.” It was the postman, after sleeping in his bag I found myself in the post office. I got to know him and it turned out he knew about this whole ‘operation’ to get me back to Japan, sadly this is something else Grix and Rasta neglected to mention to me. His name was SmokedKipper. I always used to think that all postmen had to be called either Peter, Trevor or Tonty, but it turns out SmokedKipper is another postman name I’d never heard of. Kipper showed me around the post office, I didn’t know there were toilets, mini-restaurants and go kart tracks in post offices, but it seems there are. No wonder the only time you ever see the postman is when he delivers the post, the rest of the time he’s messing around at the post office, on go karts.
Kipper told me about how I was going to get to Japan, it surprised me, when Grix put me in the letterbox I thought it was going to be me in a box for a week, but it seems not. “First of all you’re going to be put back into the box and sent off to the air port. When you arrive you’ll be collected by another ‘contact’. After this you’ll be put through loads of conveyor belts. It’ll be like a really, really slow roller coaster. Then you’ll be put onto a plane and sent off to Japan. After that, I’m not sure, I think you’ll just have to make your way to Miyamoto’s house. If you see Olimar I suppose you could get him to get the Pikmin to carry you. But it’s quite a simple operation. Let’s just hope that no one checks the bag you’re in.” Even though it was nice to know what was going to happen that “Let’s hope” made me feel nervous, I started to think about what would happen if I did get caught. Even though it probably wasn’t going happen, when there’s a chance you always seem to think about what could happen.
To get my mind off the whole thing I had a little o on the go karts with SmokedKipper, the track was good considering it was in a post office, how many go kart tracks have you seen with a jump? I haven’t seen many, I can tell you that. It was quite a competitive race, but I had experience from Mario Kart. Kipper figured that out when I threw shells at him and lightning struck him down to size. I really started to feel sorry for him when I threw a spiky blue shell at him, it would hurt enough getting a spiky thrown at you, but he got it lodged right up his ar… but I don’t want to repeat what happened. I won in end, which made me feel quite good. It was very bad luck that ‘someone’ put a pile of nails right in Kippers path and popped his tires, but was a good sportsman and laughed at him. The worst part of in was Kipper flying from him kart an landing head first into one of the piles of tires just encase someone crashes. It may not sound funny, but if you picture it you’ll see what I mean.
Kipper wanted to go to the restaurant, he had sprained his ankle when the pile of tires he was in fell over. I wish I didn’t go to the restaurant to be honest, after I found out what was on the menu, or even worse what wasn’t, I was devastated. No pizza! Every Italian plumber has to have pizza, in 1942 it was made a law. I had to settle for a Squid with cheese toppings. I shaped it into a pizza so I wouldn’t get arrested. Kipper had a cup of tea and bacon, eggs and sausage – you could tell he’s English. He seemed so much happier than he was when he was stuck in all the tires. Sadly ‘someone’ put a nail in his sausage and made him unhappy again. Even worse for Kipper, ‘someone’ put some laxatives in his tea, luckily the post office did have toilets, I don’t know how you’d wash that amount off a parcel. It took a while, but eventually he finished, for some strange reason he didn’t want the rest of his food. Even more strange was that people in radiation suits went into the toilets when Kipper left.
Kipper seemed to want me to go at this point. He told me it was time to go and get into the box. For some reason he looked like he was having the most fun he’d had all day when he put me into a box and sealed it. I’d also noticed that there was now only one air hole, Maybe he didn’t like my stay at the post office. But what did I wrong? Maybe he wasn’t annoyed at me, just at ‘someone’ else, maybe the guy that put nails on the go kart track and put laxatives in his tea. Kipper was nice enough to give me a magazine that I could read with my torch. Supposedly Miyamoto was worried about me missing quite a lot. Mario Sunshine was going slower and slower so they had to film all the parts with out me first. A lot of other characters like Yoshi refused to work without me. I felt very important at this point, but I felt so sorry for Miyamoto as well. Anyway, Kipper put me in a van, I’m not sure if he was driving it or not, but I know it’s van because I saw through the air hole. I fell asleep about now, it had been a long day.
*****
The next two days will be posted in, about, the next two days :-)
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS
The morning after Grix and Rasta saved me, I met up with a few of their friends. MJ said sorry for nearly killing me and he started to tell me about how big a fan he was of me, I get it all the time, doesn’t anyone think I get sick of it? Obviously not. Anyway, I got to know some other people like Slik, who I didn’t get to meet because he was doing his hair for 12 hours, I briefly met Uncle Albert before he had to go to the hospital about constipation. One of the favourites I met had to be Fog, he was so happy. He had just got a new cloak and hat with the £50 he got off Grix, which Rasta hadn’t paid back, so whenever anyone asked where Fog got his new things Rasta tried to change the subject so that Grix wouldn’t remember. Fog tried to shave off his beard but he just looked stupid so we got it back from the bin and stuck it onto his chin, it smelled a lot stale fish and cod liver oil. He didn’t seem to care though he had to rush off to ‘meet’ someone.
So after a couple of hours of talking to MJ, Slik, Grix and Rasta, they told me what was going to have to happen, I didn’t really like the idea of it, but who would want to be put in a sealed box with a biscuit, courtesy of Cookie Monster, and a torch? I really don’t think anyone would answer yes to that. So anyway, they put me a dog bowl to wash me, I was going to see Miyamoto after all, but somehow dog didn’t make me much cleaner. I ended up eating some soap, Rasta said “It cleans you on the inside then soaks through, you get very clean very fast!” That liar, it’ll take years of therapy to get that taste out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to break his GameCube and make him cry, it would be unfair on the GameCube so I had to settle with watching him sit on a nail. It’s like a second Christmas.
Rasta went off to hospital and it was time for me to get into a box with a biscuit and torch. I asked Grix to make some air holes for me, sadly he tried to stab me with a nail before I explained that I meant in the box and not in me. It was weird, because as much as I hated the idea of going in a box, I was looking forward, sure it would be no watching Rasta get a nail stuck up him, when you’ve never done something like this before, you get excited about it. Anyway, I went into this tiny box wondering what was going to happen, was I going to get smuggled to Japan? Pretend to be luggage?? No, Grix was putting me in a letterbox. All that excitement ruined, oh well, it might not be as boring as I expect, maybe a lovely post lady would come and get me.
I started to munch away on my biscuit through boredom, just then noticed how big the air holes were. I managed to rip my through one of them. Finally a bit of space, a lot of letters, but a bit a space nonetheless. I turned on the torch. In a situation like this there’s only two thing you can do – swim on the letters or read them. I figured that swimming would be good, until I did it. I kept drowning in the letters and having to drag myself back to the top of the pile, so I rethought what I should do, at that time reading the letters seemed like a much better idea. I ripped open the first one a started to read it. Supposedly Mrs. Smith won’t go back to that cheating pig of a husband and Aunty Albert’s got an extension onto Uncle Albert’s Zimmer frame so he can ‘try day and night’. I felt a bit horrible doing this, but that didn’t stop me! What did stop me was someone saying “Hey! Get off that or I’ll use my magic to send you to the moon!” Like anyone would, I hid under all the letters and began to cry and beg “Don’t-a hurt me! I’m-a Mario.” It was only when I emerged from the letters I realised it was Fog, who else wears a pink cape and hat?
I asked him what he was doing here, he didn’t really want to answer when he realised it was me. “I’m here because, errr, I wanted to wish you luck and assist you with my magical powers!” I knew he was lying, he knew I knew he was lying, I knew he knew I knew he was lying, and it goes on like that, but it didn’t bother me, he can’t being anything that embarrassing in a post box. I asked him how to get out of this post box, he said he could help if I had some money, so I gave him £50. It was a bad mistake, for about 20 minutes he was making funny noises and mumbling ‘magic’ words. I didn’t think anything was going to happen, it didn’t really, well nothing magical. But a letter did come through the letterbox and hit Fog in the head. Even though it was funny, I didn’t laugh, if it happened to me I wouldn’t want someone to be laughing at me. Instead I picked him up and gave him a bit of my biscuit.
After a while he was okay and ready to work his magic again. He closed his eyes and did the ‘magic’ talk again. After about 10 minutes of this he opened his eyes and said “The magic is telling me. Turn to your left, then walk forward and push.” I started to push, but the wall was solid, but I kept pushing and eventually the wall swung open and I fell into the postman’s bag. The postman opened it. Fog sure did time it right. It was a comfy bag though, so what else could I do but go to sleep?
DAY 2
I was woken up by the sound of someone’s voice telling me to “Get up.” It was the postman, after sleeping in his bag I found myself in the post office. I got to know him and it turned out he knew about this whole ‘operation’ to get me back to Japan, sadly this is something else Grix and Rasta neglected to mention to me. His name was SmokedKipper. I always used to think that all postmen had to be called either Peter, Trevor or Tonty, but it turns out SmokedKipper is another postman name I’d never heard of. Kipper showed me around the post office, I didn’t know there were toilets, mini-restaurants and go kart tracks in post offices, but it seems there are. No wonder the only time you ever see the postman is when he delivers the post, the rest of the time he’s messing around at the post office, on go karts.
Kipper told me about how I was going to get to Japan, it surprised me, when Grix put me in the letterbox I thought it was going to be me in a box for a week, but it seems not. “First of all you’re going to be put back into the box and sent off to the air port. When you arrive you’ll be collected by another ‘contact’. After this you’ll be put through loads of conveyor belts. It’ll be like a really, really slow roller coaster. Then you’ll be put onto a plane and sent off to Japan. After that, I’m not sure, I think you’ll just have to make your way to Miyamoto’s house. If you see Olimar I suppose you could get him to get the Pikmin to carry you. But it’s quite a simple operation. Let’s just hope that no one checks the bag you’re in.” Even though it was nice to know what was going to happen that “Let’s hope” made me feel nervous, I started to think about what would happen if I did get caught. Even though it probably wasn’t going happen, when there’s a chance you always seem to think about what could happen.
To get my mind off the whole thing I had a little o on the go karts with SmokedKipper, the track was good considering it was in a post office, how many go kart tracks have you seen with a jump? I haven’t seen many, I can tell you that. It was quite a competitive race, but I had experience from Mario Kart. Kipper figured that out when I threw shells at him and lightning struck him down to size. I really started to feel sorry for him when I threw a spiky blue shell at him, it would hurt enough getting a spiky thrown at you, but he got it lodged right up his ar… but I don’t want to repeat what happened. I won in end, which made me feel quite good. It was very bad luck that ‘someone’ put a pile of nails right in Kippers path and popped his tires, but was a good sportsman and laughed at him. The worst part of in was Kipper flying from him kart an landing head first into one of the piles of tires just encase someone crashes. It may not sound funny, but if you picture it you’ll see what I mean.
Kipper wanted to go to the restaurant, he had sprained his ankle when the pile of tires he was in fell over. I wish I didn’t go to the restaurant to be honest, after I found out what was on the menu, or even worse what wasn’t, I was devastated. No pizza! Every Italian plumber has to have pizza, in 1942 it was made a law. I had to settle for a Squid with cheese toppings. I shaped it into a pizza so I wouldn’t get arrested. Kipper had a cup of tea and bacon, eggs and sausage – you could tell he’s English. He seemed so much happier than he was when he was stuck in all the tires. Sadly ‘someone’ put a nail in his sausage and made him unhappy again. Even worse for Kipper, ‘someone’ put some laxatives in his tea, luckily the post office did have toilets, I don’t know how you’d wash that amount off a parcel. It took a while, but eventually he finished, for some strange reason he didn’t want the rest of his food. Even more strange was that people in radiation suits went into the toilets when Kipper left.
Kipper seemed to want me to go at this point. He told me it was time to go and get into the box. For some reason he looked like he was having the most fun he’d had all day when he put me into a box and sealed it. I’d also noticed that there was now only one air hole, Maybe he didn’t like my stay at the post office. But what did I wrong? Maybe he wasn’t annoyed at me, just at ‘someone’ else, maybe the guy that put nails on the go kart track and put laxatives in his tea. Kipper was nice enough to give me a magazine that I could read with my torch. Supposedly Miyamoto was worried about me missing quite a lot. Mario Sunshine was going slower and slower so they had to film all the parts with out me first. A lot of other characters like Yoshi refused to work without me. I felt very important at this point, but I felt so sorry for Miyamoto as well. Anyway, Kipper put me in a van, I’m not sure if he was driving it or not, but I know it’s van because I saw through the air hole. I fell asleep about now, it had been a long day.
*****
The next two days will be posted in, about, the next two days :-)
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS
POP!
I'll be relaunching the Mario Journey Experimental - in other words I'm gonna finish it :-)
I'll be relaunching the Mario Journey Experimental - in other words I'm gonna finish it :-)
Nice story Rickoss! I think a pink hat & cape really brings the best out in me :p
Pretty strange Pizzas you bought too, might have to try one out myself sometime...
anyway, keep going :D Mario will be home free soon enough hopefully.
Pretty strange Pizzas you bought too, might have to try one out myself sometime...
anyway, keep going :D Mario will be home free soon enough hopefully.
DAY 3
When I woke up that morning, I felt hungrier than I ever had. Maybe it was because I’d been sleeping in a car for twelve hours or the fact that I’d only eaten a squid pizza and a biscuit in the last 2 days. The van had stopped. I ripped open the air hole so I could see what was happening. When I think about it, I wish I didn’t look out of the window. The sight was very shocking. I saw Uncle Albert walking out of the local ‘Puppy Love Show.’ I would of felt sorry for Aunty Albert if I didn’t see her walking out of the ‘Stud Muffin Strip Club’ just across the road. I noticed both of them were wearing fake beards, even though they both already had beards, they thought being different colours could disguise them. It was lucky they didn’t see each other, who knows what would have happened? I was quite excited about who the ‘contact’ would be. The van door opened and the box I was in was picked up. It was quite a bumpy ride, whoever was carrying me was running. It was about 5 minutes until I stopped.
Shocktrooper ripped open the box and greeted me with a biscuit before saying “Courtesy of Cookie Monster.” It was nice to get some more food. Even though the thought of eating another biscuit wasn’t ideal but I had it anyway. Shocktrooper asked me if I wanted to “Go to the pizzeria, the cinema or the ‘Puppy Love Show.’” I was so hungry I chose to go to the pizzeria, although the ‘Puppy Love Show’ wouldn’t have gone a miss, eating two biscuits and a squid pizza isn’t enough to fill up anyone, especially a growing plumber like myself. Shocktrooper put me back in the box for a bit while he made his way to the pizzeria. When we got to inside the chef, who was called Luigi, asked us what we wanted. Funnily enough he wasn’t wearing green dungarees like ‘all’ the other people I know called Luigi. Anyway, I ordered every kind of pizza of pizza you could get and Shocktrooper an electric eel pizza. He said it ‘Charged him up’ so he was ready for anything. I was amazed at how many pizza’s existed. Until then a chocolate pizza was just a drunken idea of dessert, now it’s a top quality pizza.
When I’d finished ‘some’ of my pizza, Shocky started to explain what I actually had to do so that I didn’t get caught. “First of all we’ll have to suit you up. After we’ve finished here we will have to go to my house, it’s quite close to the airport so you won’t have to go far without air holes. The suit does a number of things, first thing it does is gives a tiny bit of oxygen so you’ll survive while you’re getting to the airport, after this when you get onto the conveyor belts you’ll have to rip a hole in the box because the oxygen only lasts for a short amount of time. Another thing the suit will help with is when the bag you’re in is being scanned for anything. The suit you’ll be wearing will cloak any sign of something from the scanners. After the conveyer belts, all you have to do is be completely silent while you’re being put into plane, if anyone hears you, you’ll be thrown off the plane and we’ll have to pay for you to get to Japan. When you get into the plane you can take of your suit. When you’re in the plane you’ll have to make your way from the luggage area to the cockpit. The pilot is another inside operator; he goes by the name of Mr. Snuggly.”
Again I was surprised by how complicated the whole ‘me getting to Japan’ thing was going to be. I was looking forward to seeing Mr. Snuggly, if he was as funny as his name, I was sure it would make the journey even more enjoyable. At this point, just after Shocktrooper had told me what was going to happen, I was full, It was the first time I was happy in the last 2 days. Shocky said we had to get to his house as soon as possible so he could show me how this suit of his worked. Although he said this, I don’t think he meant it, because he seemed to run off without paying, all the way running back I could hear Luigi screaming “Come back here you muckers!” Or something similar, I didn’t I was so dirty he should call me mucker though. Maybe he meant Shocktrooper, he didn’t smell great, it was either the eel pizza or the beans he ate earlier on today.
When we got back to Shocktroopers house he got out a silver suit, I really hoped I didn’t have to wear it, but I did. He explained to me what went where, what did what and whatnot to do. It was all pretty simple stuff, like “If you move your leg it moves.” There were a few extras that weren’t as boring though. A cigarette lighter, bell and fish tank may not seem very exciting, but compared to some of the things that Shocktrooper explained to me, it seemed as exciting as a trip to Africa with Steve Irwin. After I’d learned a bit more about the suit, such as which cigarettes I should light and not to put tropical fish in the fish tank because it’s too cold. When I looked out of Shocktrooper’s window I didn’t know what to expect in the plane. I saw Edgy and Dringo talking to someone who works at the airport. I saw Edgy hand him a wad of money and Edgy said “If you see a butch plumber called Mario, don’t let him out of the plane, I need to capture him and put him in a cage!” It looked like Edgy was about to do an evil laugh but Dringo pulled him away. Although I was quite scared about what would happen, I had the best nights sleep in ages, I actually got to sleep on a bed, it’s makes you realise that even the worse bed is better than a box and a pile of letters.
*****
There'll be more coming.
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS
When I woke up that morning, I felt hungrier than I ever had. Maybe it was because I’d been sleeping in a car for twelve hours or the fact that I’d only eaten a squid pizza and a biscuit in the last 2 days. The van had stopped. I ripped open the air hole so I could see what was happening. When I think about it, I wish I didn’t look out of the window. The sight was very shocking. I saw Uncle Albert walking out of the local ‘Puppy Love Show.’ I would of felt sorry for Aunty Albert if I didn’t see her walking out of the ‘Stud Muffin Strip Club’ just across the road. I noticed both of them were wearing fake beards, even though they both already had beards, they thought being different colours could disguise them. It was lucky they didn’t see each other, who knows what would have happened? I was quite excited about who the ‘contact’ would be. The van door opened and the box I was in was picked up. It was quite a bumpy ride, whoever was carrying me was running. It was about 5 minutes until I stopped.
Shocktrooper ripped open the box and greeted me with a biscuit before saying “Courtesy of Cookie Monster.” It was nice to get some more food. Even though the thought of eating another biscuit wasn’t ideal but I had it anyway. Shocktrooper asked me if I wanted to “Go to the pizzeria, the cinema or the ‘Puppy Love Show.’” I was so hungry I chose to go to the pizzeria, although the ‘Puppy Love Show’ wouldn’t have gone a miss, eating two biscuits and a squid pizza isn’t enough to fill up anyone, especially a growing plumber like myself. Shocktrooper put me back in the box for a bit while he made his way to the pizzeria. When we got to inside the chef, who was called Luigi, asked us what we wanted. Funnily enough he wasn’t wearing green dungarees like ‘all’ the other people I know called Luigi. Anyway, I ordered every kind of pizza of pizza you could get and Shocktrooper an electric eel pizza. He said it ‘Charged him up’ so he was ready for anything. I was amazed at how many pizza’s existed. Until then a chocolate pizza was just a drunken idea of dessert, now it’s a top quality pizza.
When I’d finished ‘some’ of my pizza, Shocky started to explain what I actually had to do so that I didn’t get caught. “First of all we’ll have to suit you up. After we’ve finished here we will have to go to my house, it’s quite close to the airport so you won’t have to go far without air holes. The suit does a number of things, first thing it does is gives a tiny bit of oxygen so you’ll survive while you’re getting to the airport, after this when you get onto the conveyor belts you’ll have to rip a hole in the box because the oxygen only lasts for a short amount of time. Another thing the suit will help with is when the bag you’re in is being scanned for anything. The suit you’ll be wearing will cloak any sign of something from the scanners. After the conveyer belts, all you have to do is be completely silent while you’re being put into plane, if anyone hears you, you’ll be thrown off the plane and we’ll have to pay for you to get to Japan. When you get into the plane you can take of your suit. When you’re in the plane you’ll have to make your way from the luggage area to the cockpit. The pilot is another inside operator; he goes by the name of Mr. Snuggly.”
Again I was surprised by how complicated the whole ‘me getting to Japan’ thing was going to be. I was looking forward to seeing Mr. Snuggly, if he was as funny as his name, I was sure it would make the journey even more enjoyable. At this point, just after Shocktrooper had told me what was going to happen, I was full, It was the first time I was happy in the last 2 days. Shocky said we had to get to his house as soon as possible so he could show me how this suit of his worked. Although he said this, I don’t think he meant it, because he seemed to run off without paying, all the way running back I could hear Luigi screaming “Come back here you muckers!” Or something similar, I didn’t I was so dirty he should call me mucker though. Maybe he meant Shocktrooper, he didn’t smell great, it was either the eel pizza or the beans he ate earlier on today.
When we got back to Shocktroopers house he got out a silver suit, I really hoped I didn’t have to wear it, but I did. He explained to me what went where, what did what and whatnot to do. It was all pretty simple stuff, like “If you move your leg it moves.” There were a few extras that weren’t as boring though. A cigarette lighter, bell and fish tank may not seem very exciting, but compared to some of the things that Shocktrooper explained to me, it seemed as exciting as a trip to Africa with Steve Irwin. After I’d learned a bit more about the suit, such as which cigarettes I should light and not to put tropical fish in the fish tank because it’s too cold. When I looked out of Shocktrooper’s window I didn’t know what to expect in the plane. I saw Edgy and Dringo talking to someone who works at the airport. I saw Edgy hand him a wad of money and Edgy said “If you see a butch plumber called Mario, don’t let him out of the plane, I need to capture him and put him in a cage!” It looked like Edgy was about to do an evil laugh but Dringo pulled him away. Although I was quite scared about what would happen, I had the best nights sleep in ages, I actually got to sleep on a bed, it’s makes you realise that even the worse bed is better than a box and a pile of letters.
*****
There'll be more coming.
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS
Gr8 post, I look forward to reading the following psrts ;)
slik ~_~
slik ~_~
RiCkOsS wrote:
> Thanks Edgy, you're going to have quite a big part :-)
I already ha...oh you mean in the next part :)
> Thanks Edgy, you're going to have quite a big part :-)
I already ha...oh you mean in the next part :)
Ant, lad, there's a FOG story to be attended to right in this very forum - get writin'! ;-D
Imaginative story there, Rickoss :-)
Imaginative story there, Rickoss :-)
Hehe, very entertaining. As I said on MSN, I liked the style of writing and the first paragraph was gold. Also loved the bit about the laxatives in Kipper's tea. :D
An enjoyable story, and I should now go and read the first part really. {:)
An enjoyable story, and I should now go and read the first part really. {:)
Thanks Edgy, you're going to have quite a big part :-)
Look forward to the next part :)
Very imaginative :)
Very imaginative :)
DAY 1
The morning after Grix and Rasta saved me, I met up with a few of their friends. MJ said sorry for nearly killing me and he started to tell me about how big a fan he was of me, I get it all the time, doesn’t anyone think I get sick of it? Obviously not. Anyway, I got to know some other people like Slik, who I didn’t get to meet because he was doing his hair for 12 hours, I briefly met Uncle Albert before he had to go to the hospital about constipation. One of the favourites I met had to be Fog, he was so happy. He had just got a new cloak and hat with the £50 he got off Grix, which Rasta hadn’t paid back, so whenever anyone asked where Fog got his new things Rasta tried to change the subject so that Grix wouldn’t remember. Fog tried to shave off his beard but he just looked stupid so we got it back from the bin and stuck it onto his chin, it smelled a lot stale fish and cod liver oil. He didn’t seem to care though he had to rush off to ‘meet’ someone.
So after a couple of hours of talking to MJ, Slik, Grix and Rasta, they told me what was going to have to happen, I didn’t really like the idea of it, but who would want to be put in a sealed box with a biscuit, courtesy of Cookie Monster, and a torch? I really don’t think anyone would answer yes to that. So anyway, they put me a dog bowl to wash me, I was going to see Miyamoto after all, but somehow dog didn’t make me much cleaner. I ended up eating some soap, Rasta said “It cleans you on the inside then soaks through, you get very clean very fast!” That liar, it’ll take years of therapy to get that taste out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to break his GameCube and make him cry, it would be unfair on the GameCube so I had to settle with watching him sit on a nail. It’s like a second Christmas.
Rasta went off to hospital and it was time for me to get into a box with a biscuit and torch. I asked Grix to make some air holes for me, sadly he tried to stab me with a nail before I explained that I meant in the box and not in me. It was weird, because as much as I hated the idea of going in a box, I was looking forward, sure it would be no watching Rasta get a nail stuck up him, when you’ve never done something like this before, you get excited about it. Anyway, I went into this tiny box wondering what was going to happen, was I going to get smuggled to Japan? Pretend to be luggage?? No, Grix was putting me in a letterbox. All that excitement ruined, oh well, it might not be as boring as I expect, maybe a lovely post lady would come and get me.
I started to munch away on my biscuit through boredom, just then noticed how big the air holes were. I managed to rip my through one of them. Finally a bit of space, a lot of letters, but a bit a space nonetheless. I turned on the torch. In a situation like this there’s only two thing you can do – swim on the letters or read them. I figured that swimming would be good, until I did it. I kept drowning in the letters and having to drag myself back to the top of the pile, so I rethought what I should do, at that time reading the letters seemed like a much better idea. I ripped open the first one a started to read it. Supposedly Mrs. Smith won’t go back to that cheating pig of a husband and Aunty Albert’s got an extension onto Uncle Albert’s Zimmer frame so he can ‘try day and night’. I felt a bit horrible doing this, but that didn’t stop me! What did stop me was someone saying “Hey! Get off that or I’ll use my magic to send you to the moon!” Like anyone would, I hid under all the letters and began to cry and beg “Don’t-a hurt me! I’m-a Mario.” It was only when I emerged from the letters I realised it was Fog, who else wears a pink cape and hat?
I asked him what he was doing here, he didn’t really want to answer when he realised it was me. “I’m here because, errr, I wanted to wish you luck and assist you with my magical powers!” I knew he was lying, he knew I knew he was lying, I knew he knew I knew he was lying, and it goes on like that, but it didn’t bother me, he can’t being anything that embarrassing in a post box. I asked him how to get out of this post box, he said he could help if I had some money, so I gave him £50. It was a bad mistake, for about 20 minutes he was making funny noises and mumbling ‘magic’ words. I didn’t think anything was going to happen, it didn’t really, well nothing magical. But a letter did come through the letterbox and hit Fog in the head. Even though it was funny, I didn’t laugh, if it happened to me I wouldn’t want someone to be laughing at me. Instead I picked him up and gave him a bit of my biscuit.
After a while he was okay and ready to work his magic again. He closed his eyes and did the ‘magic’ talk again. After about 10 minutes of this he opened his eyes and said “The magic is telling me. Turn to your left, then walk forward and push.” I started to push, but the wall was solid, but I kept pushing and eventually the wall swung open and I fell into the postman’s bag. The postman opened it. Fog sure did time it right. It was a comfy bag though, so what else could I do but go to sleep?
DAY 2
I was woken up by the sound of someone’s voice telling me to “Get up.” It was the postman, after sleeping in his bag I found myself in the post office. I got to know him and it turned out he knew about this whole ‘operation’ to get me back to Japan, sadly this is something else Grix and Rasta neglected to mention to me. His name was SmokedKipper. I always used to think that all postmen had to be called either Peter, Trevor or Tonty, but it turns out SmokedKipper is another postman name I’d never heard of. Kipper showed me around the post office, I didn’t know there were toilets, mini-restaurants and go kart tracks in post offices, but it seems there are. No wonder the only time you ever see the postman is when he delivers the post, the rest of the time he’s messing around at the post office, on go karts.
Kipper told me about how I was going to get to Japan, it surprised me, when Grix put me in the letterbox I thought it was going to be me in a box for a week, but it seems not. “First of all you’re going to be put back into the box and sent off to the air port. When you arrive you’ll be collected by another ‘contact’. After this you’ll be put through loads of conveyor belts. It’ll be like a really, really slow roller coaster. Then you’ll be put onto a plane and sent off to Japan. After that, I’m not sure, I think you’ll just have to make your way to Miyamoto’s house. If you see Olimar I suppose you could get him to get the Pikmin to carry you. But it’s quite a simple operation. Let’s just hope that no one checks the bag you’re in.” Even though it was nice to know what was going to happen that “Let’s hope” made me feel nervous, I started to think about what would happen if I did get caught. Even though it probably wasn’t going happen, when there’s a chance you always seem to think about what could happen.
To get my mind off the whole thing I had a little o on the go karts with SmokedKipper, the track was good considering it was in a post office, how many go kart tracks have you seen with a jump? I haven’t seen many, I can tell you that. It was quite a competitive race, but I had experience from Mario Kart. Kipper figured that out when I threw shells at him and lightning struck him down to size. I really started to feel sorry for him when I threw a spiky blue shell at him, it would hurt enough getting a spiky thrown at you, but he got it lodged right up his ar… but I don’t want to repeat what happened. I won in end, which made me feel quite good. It was very bad luck that ‘someone’ put a pile of nails right in Kippers path and popped his tires, but was a good sportsman and laughed at him. The worst part of in was Kipper flying from him kart an landing head first into one of the piles of tires just encase someone crashes. It may not sound funny, but if you picture it you’ll see what I mean.
Kipper wanted to go to the restaurant, he had sprained his ankle when the pile of tires he was in fell over. I wish I didn’t go to the restaurant to be honest, after I found out what was on the menu, or even worse what wasn’t, I was devastated. No pizza! Every Italian plumber has to have pizza, in 1942 it was made a law. I had to settle for a Squid with cheese toppings. I shaped it into a pizza so I wouldn’t get arrested. Kipper had a cup of tea and bacon, eggs and sausage – you could tell he’s English. He seemed so much happier than he was when he was stuck in all the tires. Sadly ‘someone’ put a nail in his sausage and made him unhappy again. Even worse for Kipper, ‘someone’ put some laxatives in his tea, luckily the post office did have toilets, I don’t know how you’d wash that amount off a parcel. It took a while, but eventually he finished, for some strange reason he didn’t want the rest of his food. Even more strange was that people in radiation suits went into the toilets when Kipper left.
Kipper seemed to want me to go at this point. He told me it was time to go and get into the box. For some reason he looked like he was having the most fun he’d had all day when he put me into a box and sealed it. I’d also noticed that there was now only one air hole, Maybe he didn’t like my stay at the post office. But what did I wrong? Maybe he wasn’t annoyed at me, just at ‘someone’ else, maybe the guy that put nails on the go kart track and put laxatives in his tea. Kipper was nice enough to give me a magazine that I could read with my torch. Supposedly Miyamoto was worried about me missing quite a lot. Mario Sunshine was going slower and slower so they had to film all the parts with out me first. A lot of other characters like Yoshi refused to work without me. I felt very important at this point, but I felt so sorry for Miyamoto as well. Anyway, Kipper put me in a van, I’m not sure if he was driving it or not, but I know it’s van because I saw through the air hole. I fell asleep about now, it had been a long day.
*****
The next two days will be posted in, about, the next two days :-)
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS
The morning after Grix and Rasta saved me, I met up with a few of their friends. MJ said sorry for nearly killing me and he started to tell me about how big a fan he was of me, I get it all the time, doesn’t anyone think I get sick of it? Obviously not. Anyway, I got to know some other people like Slik, who I didn’t get to meet because he was doing his hair for 12 hours, I briefly met Uncle Albert before he had to go to the hospital about constipation. One of the favourites I met had to be Fog, he was so happy. He had just got a new cloak and hat with the £50 he got off Grix, which Rasta hadn’t paid back, so whenever anyone asked where Fog got his new things Rasta tried to change the subject so that Grix wouldn’t remember. Fog tried to shave off his beard but he just looked stupid so we got it back from the bin and stuck it onto his chin, it smelled a lot stale fish and cod liver oil. He didn’t seem to care though he had to rush off to ‘meet’ someone.
So after a couple of hours of talking to MJ, Slik, Grix and Rasta, they told me what was going to have to happen, I didn’t really like the idea of it, but who would want to be put in a sealed box with a biscuit, courtesy of Cookie Monster, and a torch? I really don’t think anyone would answer yes to that. So anyway, they put me a dog bowl to wash me, I was going to see Miyamoto after all, but somehow dog didn’t make me much cleaner. I ended up eating some soap, Rasta said “It cleans you on the inside then soaks through, you get very clean very fast!” That liar, it’ll take years of therapy to get that taste out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to break his GameCube and make him cry, it would be unfair on the GameCube so I had to settle with watching him sit on a nail. It’s like a second Christmas.
Rasta went off to hospital and it was time for me to get into a box with a biscuit and torch. I asked Grix to make some air holes for me, sadly he tried to stab me with a nail before I explained that I meant in the box and not in me. It was weird, because as much as I hated the idea of going in a box, I was looking forward, sure it would be no watching Rasta get a nail stuck up him, when you’ve never done something like this before, you get excited about it. Anyway, I went into this tiny box wondering what was going to happen, was I going to get smuggled to Japan? Pretend to be luggage?? No, Grix was putting me in a letterbox. All that excitement ruined, oh well, it might not be as boring as I expect, maybe a lovely post lady would come and get me.
I started to munch away on my biscuit through boredom, just then noticed how big the air holes were. I managed to rip my through one of them. Finally a bit of space, a lot of letters, but a bit a space nonetheless. I turned on the torch. In a situation like this there’s only two thing you can do – swim on the letters or read them. I figured that swimming would be good, until I did it. I kept drowning in the letters and having to drag myself back to the top of the pile, so I rethought what I should do, at that time reading the letters seemed like a much better idea. I ripped open the first one a started to read it. Supposedly Mrs. Smith won’t go back to that cheating pig of a husband and Aunty Albert’s got an extension onto Uncle Albert’s Zimmer frame so he can ‘try day and night’. I felt a bit horrible doing this, but that didn’t stop me! What did stop me was someone saying “Hey! Get off that or I’ll use my magic to send you to the moon!” Like anyone would, I hid under all the letters and began to cry and beg “Don’t-a hurt me! I’m-a Mario.” It was only when I emerged from the letters I realised it was Fog, who else wears a pink cape and hat?
I asked him what he was doing here, he didn’t really want to answer when he realised it was me. “I’m here because, errr, I wanted to wish you luck and assist you with my magical powers!” I knew he was lying, he knew I knew he was lying, I knew he knew I knew he was lying, and it goes on like that, but it didn’t bother me, he can’t being anything that embarrassing in a post box. I asked him how to get out of this post box, he said he could help if I had some money, so I gave him £50. It was a bad mistake, for about 20 minutes he was making funny noises and mumbling ‘magic’ words. I didn’t think anything was going to happen, it didn’t really, well nothing magical. But a letter did come through the letterbox and hit Fog in the head. Even though it was funny, I didn’t laugh, if it happened to me I wouldn’t want someone to be laughing at me. Instead I picked him up and gave him a bit of my biscuit.
After a while he was okay and ready to work his magic again. He closed his eyes and did the ‘magic’ talk again. After about 10 minutes of this he opened his eyes and said “The magic is telling me. Turn to your left, then walk forward and push.” I started to push, but the wall was solid, but I kept pushing and eventually the wall swung open and I fell into the postman’s bag. The postman opened it. Fog sure did time it right. It was a comfy bag though, so what else could I do but go to sleep?
DAY 2
I was woken up by the sound of someone’s voice telling me to “Get up.” It was the postman, after sleeping in his bag I found myself in the post office. I got to know him and it turned out he knew about this whole ‘operation’ to get me back to Japan, sadly this is something else Grix and Rasta neglected to mention to me. His name was SmokedKipper. I always used to think that all postmen had to be called either Peter, Trevor or Tonty, but it turns out SmokedKipper is another postman name I’d never heard of. Kipper showed me around the post office, I didn’t know there were toilets, mini-restaurants and go kart tracks in post offices, but it seems there are. No wonder the only time you ever see the postman is when he delivers the post, the rest of the time he’s messing around at the post office, on go karts.
Kipper told me about how I was going to get to Japan, it surprised me, when Grix put me in the letterbox I thought it was going to be me in a box for a week, but it seems not. “First of all you’re going to be put back into the box and sent off to the air port. When you arrive you’ll be collected by another ‘contact’. After this you’ll be put through loads of conveyor belts. It’ll be like a really, really slow roller coaster. Then you’ll be put onto a plane and sent off to Japan. After that, I’m not sure, I think you’ll just have to make your way to Miyamoto’s house. If you see Olimar I suppose you could get him to get the Pikmin to carry you. But it’s quite a simple operation. Let’s just hope that no one checks the bag you’re in.” Even though it was nice to know what was going to happen that “Let’s hope” made me feel nervous, I started to think about what would happen if I did get caught. Even though it probably wasn’t going happen, when there’s a chance you always seem to think about what could happen.
To get my mind off the whole thing I had a little o on the go karts with SmokedKipper, the track was good considering it was in a post office, how many go kart tracks have you seen with a jump? I haven’t seen many, I can tell you that. It was quite a competitive race, but I had experience from Mario Kart. Kipper figured that out when I threw shells at him and lightning struck him down to size. I really started to feel sorry for him when I threw a spiky blue shell at him, it would hurt enough getting a spiky thrown at you, but he got it lodged right up his ar… but I don’t want to repeat what happened. I won in end, which made me feel quite good. It was very bad luck that ‘someone’ put a pile of nails right in Kippers path and popped his tires, but was a good sportsman and laughed at him. The worst part of in was Kipper flying from him kart an landing head first into one of the piles of tires just encase someone crashes. It may not sound funny, but if you picture it you’ll see what I mean.
Kipper wanted to go to the restaurant, he had sprained his ankle when the pile of tires he was in fell over. I wish I didn’t go to the restaurant to be honest, after I found out what was on the menu, or even worse what wasn’t, I was devastated. No pizza! Every Italian plumber has to have pizza, in 1942 it was made a law. I had to settle for a Squid with cheese toppings. I shaped it into a pizza so I wouldn’t get arrested. Kipper had a cup of tea and bacon, eggs and sausage – you could tell he’s English. He seemed so much happier than he was when he was stuck in all the tires. Sadly ‘someone’ put a nail in his sausage and made him unhappy again. Even worse for Kipper, ‘someone’ put some laxatives in his tea, luckily the post office did have toilets, I don’t know how you’d wash that amount off a parcel. It took a while, but eventually he finished, for some strange reason he didn’t want the rest of his food. Even more strange was that people in radiation suits went into the toilets when Kipper left.
Kipper seemed to want me to go at this point. He told me it was time to go and get into the box. For some reason he looked like he was having the most fun he’d had all day when he put me into a box and sealed it. I’d also noticed that there was now only one air hole, Maybe he didn’t like my stay at the post office. But what did I wrong? Maybe he wasn’t annoyed at me, just at ‘someone’ else, maybe the guy that put nails on the go kart track and put laxatives in his tea. Kipper was nice enough to give me a magazine that I could read with my torch. Supposedly Miyamoto was worried about me missing quite a lot. Mario Sunshine was going slower and slower so they had to film all the parts with out me first. A lot of other characters like Yoshi refused to work without me. I felt very important at this point, but I felt so sorry for Miyamoto as well. Anyway, Kipper put me in a van, I’m not sure if he was driving it or not, but I know it’s van because I saw through the air hole. I fell asleep about now, it had been a long day.
*****
The next two days will be posted in, about, the next two days :-)
Thanks for reading
RiCkOsS