Viewing Thread:
"Uncommen Health"

**This is not a fanboy post, it's just me having a laugh, I know it's lengthy but please do read it...see what you think, thanks :D.**



The staff didn't want me to do it, the fanboys told me it's been done before and the lawyers said they'd sue for copyright but none of them could stop it.....it's bigger....it's faster...it's stronger then ever,

Ladies and Gentlemen.....I bring you..........THE UNCOMMEN HEALTH GAMES



Commentator: He...Hello? Is this thing on? Ah Yes we're on. Hello Folks and welcome to the first in the annual Uncommon Health games, we'll see the finest in computer games history battle it out in a competition to settle the on going argument of who actually IS the best. But enough of that, here come the Competitors...

Representing Nintendo, in there fantastic dungeree/tracksuit combo, we have Luigi! Link! Sonic! and Fox!

Represetning Microsoft, in there Neon Green tracksuits with an 'X' on the back, we have Master Cheif! Max Payne! Abe! and Tony Hawks!

And Finally, Representing Sony, in black tracksuits with the distint 4-button motife, Snake! Tidus!
Rayman and Chris Redfield!

Commentator: Enough of the Introductions then and straight onto the first event. "Diskus.....OF TERRIFIC DEATH!" Thats right, as opposed to the orginal, one at a time throw, we have each contestent throw their diskus' at each other, but this isn't an odinary diskus.....it's a Proximity Mine as seen in James Bond: Agent Under Fire. Anyway, enough chat more splat...the contestents are ready.

Throwing for:

Nintendo - Fox
Microsoft - Master Cheif
Sony - Raymen



Each character runs to pick a mine from the 3 racks in the arena and instantly start battling.

Commentator: YES. IT'S UNDER WAY, RIGHT NOW! The first mine is thrown by master chief just skimming Raymans extrodinary yellow quiff. Rayman retalliates with a deadly return throw...wait....those hands! Surly thats cheating...Ladies and gentle men....his hands are not attached to his body and are flying freely across the fireld giving him a clear advantage, why the judges didn't spot this CHEATER I have no idea....anyway, mines are still flying, explosions truly defeaning........wait....no....WHATS THIS? Master Cheif is whistling to Fox...no......it seems he's going to play a game of FRISBEE-FETCH...this is truly horrific.......HE THROWS...........FOX CHASES.........................FOX CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH!



Commentator: Well ladies and gentlemen, you saw it here first......Fox showing his dog instincts and playing fetch.....with a mine, fortunaly we have a crack team of medics so he should be fine. The two winners recieve their points: Master Cheif recieves extra credit for getting the frag, 2 points! Rayman comes second, 1 point!

Commentator: On with the second of the three events: "Clay Pigeon Shooting....OF IMPENDING DOOM!"
This event see's each choosen character equipped with a shot gun where they shoot clay pigeons - the twist being all contestens shoot at the same time.

Shooting for:

Nintendo - Link
Microsoft - Max Payne
Sony - Chirs Redfield

The chacters load up there shot guns.

Commentator: Each contestents is skilled here with thier aim as we've seen them use guns/bows before.



50 clay pigeons fly across the sky and the constests shoot rapidly.

Commentator: Wow! This is what it's about, lot's of fun a true family day out, we see here all three characters blowing those white disc things out of the sky, this should be a tough one to deci.....no......wait.....another interuption? Whats this? TIDUS? GOOD LORD HE THINKS THEY ARE ALL BLITZBALLS!! He's gone for it, he jumps, screen slows down.......meter of accuracy/power appears........



Commentator: NOOOOOOOO! Someone took their shot and blew him clean out of the sky, ladies and gentlemen this is truly a sad day, Tidus has been shot whilst floating mysteriously in mid-air, a poor innocent man unknown to what was going on......anyway - crack medic team, he'll be fine. As the event had to be stopped, all contestents recieve 2 points.



Conmmantator: Right then, onto the event you've all been waiting for, the final event - it's worth 3 points.................IT'S "THE RELY OF DEDICATED PAAAAAAAAAIN".



Commentator: All contestents position themselves around the rely track. The twist here is that along the track we have placed hilarious items that inflict great pain, a frying pan, banana skin and previously soiled underwear are all there and.....oh....It seems we're ready. Let's take a look...

Running positions for:

Nintendo: 1st Luigi 2nd Fox 3rd Link 4th Sonic
Microsoft: 1st Master 2nd Chris 3rd Tony 4th Max
Sony: 1st Snake 2nd Rayman 3rd Chris 4th Tidus



Commentator: And there off! Luigi gets a great start, hang on, it looks like he's actually running the other way.....oh wait, he went to get a frying pan, he's coming back now...he's catching up to Snake....and.....



Commantatoy: Ha Ha, thought so, he delieverd a great blow to the back of Master's head and he tubles to the floor, truly stunning......as explained we have a crack team of medics.........infact, here they come now to tend to Master's wound, there runnung up to examine him and........no!.....it appears that the medic team is Dr. Mario and Peach the Nurse, this can't be good for Master......NO! The're kicking him in the chest and face, poor guy it really looks like the end for him - a real shame.

Each contestints passes the rely baton to the 2nd character who continue the fight amongst them selves, then the baton is passed to the 3rd and finally the 4th character......

Commentator: Ha ha, onto the finish now........I'm just glad that Steamroller and piranha scene between the 3rd running characters is over...anyway, Sonic is infront, he leads the pack of Tidus and Max....he's making great space between them he's got tons of time here, surly an easy win......but what? He's stopped, whats he thinking? He's crouched into a ball position.....he's charging himself up somehow, the other characters approch.......



Commentator: Well I never, he charged himself up and hurled himself into Tidus and Max creating what can only be described as a sea of violonce, blood, limbs and bone all of which have sprayed the auidience......Sonic finishs gracefully.....FANTASTIC, give that blue hedgehog 3 points!



So there you have it, the Uncommon health games are over and we have a winner!

Thrid place goes to..........Sony with 3 points, Bronze Medals!
Second place goes to......Microsoft with 4 points, Silver Medals!
But this years grandslam allstars is team Nintendo with 5 points, they earn their place in gaming history as the 'best' and walk away this years gold medal winners, well done chaps, jolly good show.........




Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.
Mike.

Thanks Pac-Man :).

I'd appreciate it to see a few more thoughts on my first attempts at a spoof.

that was very god... i like it!

**This is not a fanboy post, it's just me having a laugh, I know it's lengthy but please do read it...see what you think, thanks :D.**



The staff didn't want me to do it, the fanboys told me it's been done before and the lawyers said they'd sue for copyright but none of them could stop it.....it's bigger....it's faster...it's stronger then ever,

Ladies and Gentlemen.....I bring you..........THE UNCOMMEN HEALTH GAMES



Commentator: He...Hello? Is this thing on? Ah Yes we're on. Hello Folks and welcome to the first in the annual Uncommon Health games, we'll see the finest in computer games history battle it out in a competition to settle the on going argument of who actually IS the best. But enough of that, here come the Competitors...

Representing Nintendo, in there fantastic dungeree/tracksuit combo, we have Luigi! Link! Sonic! and Fox!

Represetning Microsoft, in there Neon Green tracksuits with an 'X' on the back, we have Master Cheif! Max Payne! Abe! and Tony Hawks!

And Finally, Representing Sony, in black tracksuits with the distint 4-button motife, Snake! Tidus!
Rayman and Chris Redfield!

Commentator: Enough of the Introductions then and straight onto the first event. "Diskus.....OF TERRIFIC DEATH!" Thats right, as opposed to the orginal, one at a time throw, we have each contestent throw their diskus' at each other, but this isn't an odinary diskus.....it's a Proximity Mine as seen in James Bond: Agent Under Fire. Anyway, enough chat more splat...the contestents are ready.

Throwing for:

Nintendo - Fox
Microsoft - Master Cheif
Sony - Raymen



Each character runs to pick a mine from the 3 racks in the arena and instantly start battling.

Commentator: YES. IT'S UNDER WAY, RIGHT NOW! The first mine is thrown by master chief just skimming Raymans extrodinary yellow quiff. Rayman retalliates with a deadly return throw...wait....those hands! Surly thats cheating...Ladies and gentle men....his hands are not attached to his body and are flying freely across the fireld giving him a clear advantage, why the judges didn't spot this CHEATER I have no idea....anyway, mines are still flying, explosions truly defeaning........wait....no....WHATS THIS? Master Cheif is whistling to Fox...no......it seems he's going to play a game of FRISBEE-FETCH...this is truly horrific.......HE THROWS...........FOX CHASES.........................FOX CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH!



Commentator: Well ladies and gentlemen, you saw it here first......Fox showing his dog instincts and playing fetch.....with a mine, fortunaly we have a crack team of medics so he should be fine. The two winners recieve their points: Master Cheif recieves extra credit for getting the frag, 2 points! Rayman comes second, 1 point!

Commentator: On with the second of the three events: "Clay Pigeon Shooting....OF IMPENDING DOOM!"
This event see's each choosen character equipped with a shot gun where they shoot clay pigeons - the twist being all contestens shoot at the same time.

Shooting for:

Nintendo - Link
Microsoft - Max Payne
Sony - Chirs Redfield

The chacters load up there shot guns.

Commentator: Each contestents is skilled here with thier aim as we've seen them use guns/bows before.



50 clay pigeons fly across the sky and the constests shoot rapidly.

Commentator: Wow! This is what it's about, lot's of fun a true family day out, we see here all three characters blowing those white disc things out of the sky, this should be a tough one to deci.....no......wait.....another interuption? Whats this? TIDUS? GOOD LORD HE THINKS THEY ARE ALL BLITZBALLS!! He's gone for it, he jumps, screen slows down.......meter of accuracy/power appears........



Commentator: NOOOOOOOO! Someone took their shot and blew him clean out of the sky, ladies and gentlemen this is truly a sad day, Tidus has been shot whilst floating mysteriously in mid-air, a poor innocent man unknown to what was going on......anyway - crack medic team, he'll be fine. As the event had to be stopped, all contestents recieve 2 points.



Conmmantator: Right then, onto the event you've all been waiting for, the final event - it's worth 3 points.................IT'S "THE RELY OF DEDICATED PAAAAAAAAAIN".



Commentator: All contestents position themselves around the rely track. The twist here is that along the track we have placed hilarious items that inflict great pain, a frying pan, banana skin and previously soiled underwear are all there and.....oh....It seems we're ready. Let's take a look...

Running positions for:

Nintendo: 1st Luigi 2nd Fox 3rd Link 4th Sonic
Microsoft: 1st Master 2nd Chris 3rd Tony 4th Max
Sony: 1st Snake 2nd Rayman 3rd Chris 4th Tidus



Commentator: And there off! Luigi gets a great start, hang on, it looks like he's actually running the other way.....oh wait, he went to get a frying pan, he's coming back now...he's catching up to Snake....and.....



Commantatoy: Ha Ha, thought so, he delieverd a great blow to the back of Master's head and he tubles to the floor, truly stunning......as explained we have a crack team of medics.........infact, here they come now to tend to Master's wound, there runnung up to examine him and........no!.....it appears that the medic team is Dr. Mario and Peach the Nurse, this can't be good for Master......NO! The're kicking him in the chest and face, poor guy it really looks like the end for him - a real shame.

Each contestints passes the rely baton to the 2nd character who continue the fight amongst them selves, then the baton is passed to the 3rd and finally the 4th character......

Commentator: Ha ha, onto the finish now........I'm just glad that Steamroller and piranha scene between the 3rd running characters is over...anyway, Sonic is infront, he leads the pack of Tidus and Max....he's making great space between them he's got tons of time here, surly an easy win......but what? He's stopped, whats he thinking? He's crouched into a ball position.....he's charging himself up somehow, the other characters approch.......



Commentator: Well I never, he charged himself up and hurled himself into Tidus and Max creating what can only be described as a sea of violonce, blood, limbs and bone all of which have sprayed the auidience......Sonic finishs gracefully.....FANTASTIC, give that blue hedgehog 3 points!



So there you have it, the Uncommon health games are over and we have a winner!

Thrid place goes to..........Sony with 3 points, Bronze Medals!
Second place goes to......Microsoft with 4 points, Silver Medals!
But this years grandslam allstars is team Nintendo with 5 points, they earn their place in gaming history as the 'best' and walk away this years gold medal winners, well done chaps, jolly good show.........




Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.
Mike.