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Its quiet in here at the minute... I can't be the only one up at 6am? :(
Ahh well, wanted to start some form of interesting discussion, this ain't about GAD either so if you only intend to come in for a whinge - don't bother. Tis more of a social/psychological experiment, and for a bit of a laugh.
Was playing through GTA3 yesterday, as you do, and decided to do a few taxi missions to earn a bit of extra moolah. After around 20mins of hurtling through the streets of Staunton it occured to me that I'm a damn good taxi driver, infact I probably missed my calling in life. What sets me apart from any other taxi driver, and makes me probably the best taxi driver in the world? "Mad skillz".
Taxi drivers are nearly always late because of getting stuck in traffic, or any other generic reason you care to insert here. I was always on time, and if I actually drove a taxi would see magic, green, floaty letters after dropping a passenger off, telling me that I'd gotten a speed bonus. This would mean I got to charge them £10 extra for the quality, and they'd be entirely happy to fork out this extra cash, because after all - I'd be the best taxi driver in the world.
Taxi drivers always drive a fairly contorted route towards their destination, wasting time so their meter ticks up nicely. I utilised my superior ability in logic, to determine that the quickest route between points A and B, is a straight line. What other taxi driver can claim that their route will ALWAYS be the quickest? While they're navigating street, after street, after street I'll be taking a shortcut through the local park, office block, OAP or playschool to get my passenger to their destination that much quicker.
Taxi drivers always stick to the speed limit, and stop for traffic lights. I found that the quickest way to negotiate these obstacles was to floor the accelerator, and ignore whatever colour the lights were on... if a copper pulls me over I'd just claim I was colour blind, who would know?
Taxi drivers are always restricted in their movement, by the other inconsiderate fools who seem to think that roads are for public use. When I was driving, I realised that these roads were for me, and me alone - anyone else on there was trespassing on my property and as such were subject to the various penalties incurred for trespass. If someone is blocking my path, its a case of under, over or through the offending person - going around takes time, I don't like doing that. I found that by introducing "jaywalking" pedestrians to my spoiler, and giving the vehicles up ahead a nice set of tire tracks across their roof, or sending them into a contorted deathroll across the other lanes that I got to my destination a lot quicker - much to the appreciation of my passenger, and that magic, green, floaty lettering. When you get that kind of approval for your work, you KNOW you're doing something right.
So theres my argument, thats why I'm *probably* the best taxi driver in the world, is there anything that after playing a certain game you feel you'd particularly excell at? Maybe after a bout of Maddog McCree back in the old days, you discovered you were probably the best gunslinger in the world, or a certain blue hedgehog taught you that you could run rings around the olympic gold medalists and be an icon for the world wildlife fund at the same time? What are you *probably* the best at?
Ahh well, wanted to start some form of interesting discussion, this ain't about GAD either so if you only intend to come in for a whinge - don't bother. Tis more of a social/psychological experiment, and for a bit of a laugh.
Was playing through GTA3 yesterday, as you do, and decided to do a few taxi missions to earn a bit of extra moolah. After around 20mins of hurtling through the streets of Staunton it occured to me that I'm a damn good taxi driver, infact I probably missed my calling in life. What sets me apart from any other taxi driver, and makes me probably the best taxi driver in the world? "Mad skillz".
Taxi drivers are nearly always late because of getting stuck in traffic, or any other generic reason you care to insert here. I was always on time, and if I actually drove a taxi would see magic, green, floaty letters after dropping a passenger off, telling me that I'd gotten a speed bonus. This would mean I got to charge them £10 extra for the quality, and they'd be entirely happy to fork out this extra cash, because after all - I'd be the best taxi driver in the world.
Taxi drivers always drive a fairly contorted route towards their destination, wasting time so their meter ticks up nicely. I utilised my superior ability in logic, to determine that the quickest route between points A and B, is a straight line. What other taxi driver can claim that their route will ALWAYS be the quickest? While they're navigating street, after street, after street I'll be taking a shortcut through the local park, office block, OAP or playschool to get my passenger to their destination that much quicker.
Taxi drivers always stick to the speed limit, and stop for traffic lights. I found that the quickest way to negotiate these obstacles was to floor the accelerator, and ignore whatever colour the lights were on... if a copper pulls me over I'd just claim I was colour blind, who would know?
Taxi drivers are always restricted in their movement, by the other inconsiderate fools who seem to think that roads are for public use. When I was driving, I realised that these roads were for me, and me alone - anyone else on there was trespassing on my property and as such were subject to the various penalties incurred for trespass. If someone is blocking my path, its a case of under, over or through the offending person - going around takes time, I don't like doing that. I found that by introducing "jaywalking" pedestrians to my spoiler, and giving the vehicles up ahead a nice set of tire tracks across their roof, or sending them into a contorted deathroll across the other lanes that I got to my destination a lot quicker - much to the appreciation of my passenger, and that magic, green, floaty lettering. When you get that kind of approval for your work, you KNOW you're doing something right.
So theres my argument, thats why I'm *probably* the best taxi driver in the world, is there anything that after playing a certain game you feel you'd particularly excell at? Maybe after a bout of Maddog McCree back in the old days, you discovered you were probably the best gunslinger in the world, or a certain blue hedgehog taught you that you could run rings around the olympic gold medalists and be an icon for the world wildlife fund at the same time? What are you *probably* the best at?
Hehe Snuggly... yep, I meant it like that, you get bonus points for the wrinklies. ;)
"Take a short cut throught the local OAP"
That made me laugh, if you meant it like that.
That made me laugh, if you meant it like that.
Heh, I enjoyed reading that. Funny :D
I would probably be the best mind controller in the world. After all, how many people do you know that sit in football stands and can control a whole football team and their manager? :D
I would probably be the best mind controller in the world. After all, how many people do you know that sit in football stands and can control a whole football team and their manager? :D
I like taxis with spikey bumpers.
I am the best at ruling 16th century Japan. There is no probably about it.
And I am great at strangling hotel porters with piano wires and shooting fat blokes in speedos in their hotel shower with a slienced SIG. And I am the best at murdering early swimmers in the hotel swimming pool with an MP5, while wearing speedos, and dragging around a really fat nurse with lots of bullet holes in her.
I am the best at ruling 16th century Japan. There is no probably about it.
And I am great at strangling hotel porters with piano wires and shooting fat blokes in speedos in their hotel shower with a slienced SIG. And I am the best at murdering early swimmers in the hotel swimming pool with an MP5, while wearing speedos, and dragging around a really fat nurse with lots of bullet holes in her.
Its quiet in here at the minute... I can't be the only one up at 6am? :(
Ahh well, wanted to start some form of interesting discussion, this ain't about GAD either so if you only intend to come in for a whinge - don't bother. Tis more of a social/psychological experiment, and for a bit of a laugh.
Was playing through GTA3 yesterday, as you do, and decided to do a few taxi missions to earn a bit of extra moolah. After around 20mins of hurtling through the streets of Staunton it occured to me that I'm a damn good taxi driver, infact I probably missed my calling in life. What sets me apart from any other taxi driver, and makes me probably the best taxi driver in the world? "Mad skillz".
Taxi drivers are nearly always late because of getting stuck in traffic, or any other generic reason you care to insert here. I was always on time, and if I actually drove a taxi would see magic, green, floaty letters after dropping a passenger off, telling me that I'd gotten a speed bonus. This would mean I got to charge them £10 extra for the quality, and they'd be entirely happy to fork out this extra cash, because after all - I'd be the best taxi driver in the world.
Taxi drivers always drive a fairly contorted route towards their destination, wasting time so their meter ticks up nicely. I utilised my superior ability in logic, to determine that the quickest route between points A and B, is a straight line. What other taxi driver can claim that their route will ALWAYS be the quickest? While they're navigating street, after street, after street I'll be taking a shortcut through the local park, office block, OAP or playschool to get my passenger to their destination that much quicker.
Taxi drivers always stick to the speed limit, and stop for traffic lights. I found that the quickest way to negotiate these obstacles was to floor the accelerator, and ignore whatever colour the lights were on... if a copper pulls me over I'd just claim I was colour blind, who would know?
Taxi drivers are always restricted in their movement, by the other inconsiderate fools who seem to think that roads are for public use. When I was driving, I realised that these roads were for me, and me alone - anyone else on there was trespassing on my property and as such were subject to the various penalties incurred for trespass. If someone is blocking my path, its a case of under, over or through the offending person - going around takes time, I don't like doing that. I found that by introducing "jaywalking" pedestrians to my spoiler, and giving the vehicles up ahead a nice set of tire tracks across their roof, or sending them into a contorted deathroll across the other lanes that I got to my destination a lot quicker - much to the appreciation of my passenger, and that magic, green, floaty lettering. When you get that kind of approval for your work, you KNOW you're doing something right.
So theres my argument, thats why I'm *probably* the best taxi driver in the world, is there anything that after playing a certain game you feel you'd particularly excell at? Maybe after a bout of Maddog McCree back in the old days, you discovered you were probably the best gunslinger in the world, or a certain blue hedgehog taught you that you could run rings around the olympic gold medalists and be an icon for the world wildlife fund at the same time? What are you *probably* the best at?
Ahh well, wanted to start some form of interesting discussion, this ain't about GAD either so if you only intend to come in for a whinge - don't bother. Tis more of a social/psychological experiment, and for a bit of a laugh.
Was playing through GTA3 yesterday, as you do, and decided to do a few taxi missions to earn a bit of extra moolah. After around 20mins of hurtling through the streets of Staunton it occured to me that I'm a damn good taxi driver, infact I probably missed my calling in life. What sets me apart from any other taxi driver, and makes me probably the best taxi driver in the world? "Mad skillz".
Taxi drivers are nearly always late because of getting stuck in traffic, or any other generic reason you care to insert here. I was always on time, and if I actually drove a taxi would see magic, green, floaty letters after dropping a passenger off, telling me that I'd gotten a speed bonus. This would mean I got to charge them £10 extra for the quality, and they'd be entirely happy to fork out this extra cash, because after all - I'd be the best taxi driver in the world.
Taxi drivers always drive a fairly contorted route towards their destination, wasting time so their meter ticks up nicely. I utilised my superior ability in logic, to determine that the quickest route between points A and B, is a straight line. What other taxi driver can claim that their route will ALWAYS be the quickest? While they're navigating street, after street, after street I'll be taking a shortcut through the local park, office block, OAP or playschool to get my passenger to their destination that much quicker.
Taxi drivers always stick to the speed limit, and stop for traffic lights. I found that the quickest way to negotiate these obstacles was to floor the accelerator, and ignore whatever colour the lights were on... if a copper pulls me over I'd just claim I was colour blind, who would know?
Taxi drivers are always restricted in their movement, by the other inconsiderate fools who seem to think that roads are for public use. When I was driving, I realised that these roads were for me, and me alone - anyone else on there was trespassing on my property and as such were subject to the various penalties incurred for trespass. If someone is blocking my path, its a case of under, over or through the offending person - going around takes time, I don't like doing that. I found that by introducing "jaywalking" pedestrians to my spoiler, and giving the vehicles up ahead a nice set of tire tracks across their roof, or sending them into a contorted deathroll across the other lanes that I got to my destination a lot quicker - much to the appreciation of my passenger, and that magic, green, floaty lettering. When you get that kind of approval for your work, you KNOW you're doing something right.
So theres my argument, thats why I'm *probably* the best taxi driver in the world, is there anything that after playing a certain game you feel you'd particularly excell at? Maybe after a bout of Maddog McCree back in the old days, you discovered you were probably the best gunslinger in the world, or a certain blue hedgehog taught you that you could run rings around the olympic gold medalists and be an icon for the world wildlife fund at the same time? What are you *probably* the best at?