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It’s recently been revealed that Nintendo games designer extraordinaire Shigeru “The Daddy” Miyamoto is actually a highly sophisticated cyborg/robot codenamed “NINTY-X0-13”.
The shock news came after Miyamoto had collapsed in a press conference with sparks coming from his right ear and obviously fears for his safety were high. However, those concerns were calmed when it was revealed that it was only a slight malfunction with his Flex-Capacitor and that his batteries were over-heating in the hot and humid conference centre.
Many questions were quickly asked about this strange occurrence, and so Nintendo had to reveal the truth about where Shigeru Miyamoto really came from......
Nintendo held the secret for many years, and many people have often wondered how Shigeru Miyamoto can consistently develop such brilliantly innovative software and bring happiness and joy to so many people. The answer is that he’s a finely tuned robot with enhanced game designing artificial brain architecture and a friendly interface honed for game creation.
Many years ago, the real flesh & blood Shigeru Miyamoto, a big haired, wide-eyed and talented young games designer, was out at the local zoo researching monkey behaviour, motion and mannerisms for his forthcoming ‘Monkey Kong’ arcade game project, when he went too close to the simian enclosure. All of a sudden, a highly-strung and aggravated cigar smoking poo-slinging monkey (God only knows where he got the cigar from) grabbed him and beat him to death with his bucket-sized hands. But, like in the films “Robocop” or “Universal Soldier”, scientists and technicians recovered all his vital organs from the flattened pulp and fixed his head on an experimental robotic body. But instead of turning him into a psychotic government killing machine like they usually do, they turned him into a mild mannered video games designers, with the ‘Prime Directive’ to provide gaming fun for all.
The actual robot body was developed in Tokyo in the late 1970s by a bunch of video game loving Japanese tech-heads, who’d been influenced by all the old Japanese robot comics and anime and who wanted to bring their robotic heroes to life in a Frankenstein meets Metal Mickey type scenario. However, due to budgeting constraints, the robot body was never actually used for anything and was put into storage for a few years, until the Miyamoto monkey tragedy happened and they realised that they had found the ideal candidate to have the robotic body.
Initially, hard-nosed Nintendo head honcho Hiroshi Yamauchi had insisted that Shigeru NINTY-X0-13 was to be a killing robot games designer with a laser attached to its forehead to eliminate competitors and fire breath like Godzilla. However, for the sake of the zoo’s safety conscious image, they decided to cover up the monkey attack incident by repairing his beaten head and stick it on top of the robotic body and keep him looking as realistic as possible, so that outsiders wouldn’t know that he was actually a machine and that the zoo still had a perfect safety record. The zoo then paid a hefty sum to Nintendo to keep the news of the monkey incident from reaching the public domain.
Also, along with laser beams and fire breath, in the initial designs for NINTY-X0-13, he had robotic roller-skates for feet so he could travel around quicker, but they looked too conspicuous to normal people. He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region” for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the game away when he met a lady.
For a laugh, the nerds even programmed the robot body to have high levels of skill in Banjo playing and a mini fridge in his belly to keep his Sushi cold.
The newly created Miyamoto robot had to remain on the lower floors of Nintendo HQ for many years, as his body didn’t have the capacity to go up and down stairs. But, through the years he was tweaked, enhanced and given better legs so he was no longer trapped like a Dalek on a single floor without being able to go upstairs.
Incidentally, the “ROB” peripheral for the NES released some time ago is actually Miyamoto’s half-brother. They used the same NINTY-X0-13 principal, but on a smaller scale.
People often wondered why Miyamoto walked funny, many even thought he belonged to the Japanese branch of the “Ministry of Silly Walks”, but it was because he was a robot and it was his natural way of walking. It is also believed that it was Miyamoto who introduced “The Robot” dance to the world. In the groovy discothèques of Tokyo he entranced fellow dancers with his robotic dancing action, and though it was merely his natural way of dancing, many folks copied his action and the whole “do the robot dance” phenomenon followed.
Since the news of Miyamoto being a robot was released, Nintendo decided to cash in by developing “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go”, a strangely titled yet unoriginal robot adventure game where you collect and build robots and then trade them with friends, family and complete strangers. Plus coming soon, the “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go” cartoon series, toys, toothbrushes, bed sheets & pillowcase, breakfast cereal, his and hers matching pyjamas and bath robe, the amusing Robo Shigeru foot massager, the giant sized Robo Shigeru foam hand (those things wrestling fans always seem to have), and more.
Bill Gates has since tried to jump on the “I’m also part robot” publicity bandwagon and attempted to give himself enhanced robotic appendages to help him improve his image, and he cunningly named himself “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist”.
He even wants to expand his empire by starring in a Metal Mickey style sitcom about an oddball robot character living with Mr & Mrs America and their apple pie family, with special guest appearances from Mr. T, ALF, Gary Coleman, Bill Cosby, The guys out of CHiPS and many other popular 1980’s TV heroes.
Coming soon: "Robo Shigeru “NINTY-X0-13” Miyamoto makes love to a washing machine” shocker!!
And
“Bill “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist” Gates gets a rusty bum-cheek” shocker!!
The shock news came after Miyamoto had collapsed in a press conference with sparks coming from his right ear and obviously fears for his safety were high. However, those concerns were calmed when it was revealed that it was only a slight malfunction with his Flex-Capacitor and that his batteries were over-heating in the hot and humid conference centre.
Many questions were quickly asked about this strange occurrence, and so Nintendo had to reveal the truth about where Shigeru Miyamoto really came from......
Nintendo held the secret for many years, and many people have often wondered how Shigeru Miyamoto can consistently develop such brilliantly innovative software and bring happiness and joy to so many people. The answer is that he’s a finely tuned robot with enhanced game designing artificial brain architecture and a friendly interface honed for game creation.
Many years ago, the real flesh & blood Shigeru Miyamoto, a big haired, wide-eyed and talented young games designer, was out at the local zoo researching monkey behaviour, motion and mannerisms for his forthcoming ‘Monkey Kong’ arcade game project, when he went too close to the simian enclosure. All of a sudden, a highly-strung and aggravated cigar smoking poo-slinging monkey (God only knows where he got the cigar from) grabbed him and beat him to death with his bucket-sized hands. But, like in the films “Robocop” or “Universal Soldier”, scientists and technicians recovered all his vital organs from the flattened pulp and fixed his head on an experimental robotic body. But instead of turning him into a psychotic government killing machine like they usually do, they turned him into a mild mannered video games designers, with the ‘Prime Directive’ to provide gaming fun for all.
The actual robot body was developed in Tokyo in the late 1970s by a bunch of video game loving Japanese tech-heads, who’d been influenced by all the old Japanese robot comics and anime and who wanted to bring their robotic heroes to life in a Frankenstein meets Metal Mickey type scenario. However, due to budgeting constraints, the robot body was never actually used for anything and was put into storage for a few years, until the Miyamoto monkey tragedy happened and they realised that they had found the ideal candidate to have the robotic body.
Initially, hard-nosed Nintendo head honcho Hiroshi Yamauchi had insisted that Shigeru NINTY-X0-13 was to be a killing robot games designer with a laser attached to its forehead to eliminate competitors and fire breath like Godzilla. However, for the sake of the zoo’s safety conscious image, they decided to cover up the monkey attack incident by repairing his beaten head and stick it on top of the robotic body and keep him looking as realistic as possible, so that outsiders wouldn’t know that he was actually a machine and that the zoo still had a perfect safety record. The zoo then paid a hefty sum to Nintendo to keep the news of the monkey incident from reaching the public domain.
Also, along with laser beams and fire breath, in the initial designs for NINTY-X0-13, he had robotic roller-skates for feet so he could travel around quicker, but they looked too conspicuous to normal people. He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region” for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the game away when he met a lady.
For a laugh, the nerds even programmed the robot body to have high levels of skill in Banjo playing and a mini fridge in his belly to keep his Sushi cold.
The newly created Miyamoto robot had to remain on the lower floors of Nintendo HQ for many years, as his body didn’t have the capacity to go up and down stairs. But, through the years he was tweaked, enhanced and given better legs so he was no longer trapped like a Dalek on a single floor without being able to go upstairs.
Incidentally, the “ROB” peripheral for the NES released some time ago is actually Miyamoto’s half-brother. They used the same NINTY-X0-13 principal, but on a smaller scale.
People often wondered why Miyamoto walked funny, many even thought he belonged to the Japanese branch of the “Ministry of Silly Walks”, but it was because he was a robot and it was his natural way of walking. It is also believed that it was Miyamoto who introduced “The Robot” dance to the world. In the groovy discothèques of Tokyo he entranced fellow dancers with his robotic dancing action, and though it was merely his natural way of dancing, many folks copied his action and the whole “do the robot dance” phenomenon followed.
Since the news of Miyamoto being a robot was released, Nintendo decided to cash in by developing “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go”, a strangely titled yet unoriginal robot adventure game where you collect and build robots and then trade them with friends, family and complete strangers. Plus coming soon, the “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go” cartoon series, toys, toothbrushes, bed sheets & pillowcase, breakfast cereal, his and hers matching pyjamas and bath robe, the amusing Robo Shigeru foot massager, the giant sized Robo Shigeru foam hand (those things wrestling fans always seem to have), and more.
Bill Gates has since tried to jump on the “I’m also part robot” publicity bandwagon and attempted to give himself enhanced robotic appendages to help him improve his image, and he cunningly named himself “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist”.
He even wants to expand his empire by starring in a Metal Mickey style sitcom about an oddball robot character living with Mr & Mrs America and their apple pie family, with special guest appearances from Mr. T, ALF, Gary Coleman, Bill Cosby, The guys out of CHiPS and many other popular 1980’s TV heroes.
Coming soon: "Robo Shigeru “NINTY-X0-13” Miyamoto makes love to a washing machine” shocker!!
And
“Bill “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist” Gates gets a rusty bum-cheek” shocker!!
Totoro wrote:
> He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region”
> for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped
> due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the
> game away when he met a lady.
I think the fact it was a vacuum cleaner hose instead of a real "Johnson" that would really give the game away.
> He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region”
> for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped
> due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the
> game away when he met a lady.
I think the fact it was a vacuum cleaner hose instead of a real "Johnson" that would really give the game away.
It’s recently been revealed that Nintendo games designer extraordinaire Shigeru “The Daddy” Miyamoto is actually a highly sophisticated cyborg/robot codenamed “NINTY-X0-13”.
The shock news came after Miyamoto had collapsed in a press conference with sparks coming from his right ear and obviously fears for his safety were high. However, those concerns were calmed when it was revealed that it was only a slight malfunction with his Flex-Capacitor and that his batteries were over-heating in the hot and humid conference centre.
Many questions were quickly asked about this strange occurrence, and so Nintendo had to reveal the truth about where Shigeru Miyamoto really came from......
Nintendo held the secret for many years, and many people have often wondered how Shigeru Miyamoto can consistently develop such brilliantly innovative software and bring happiness and joy to so many people. The answer is that he’s a finely tuned robot with enhanced game designing artificial brain architecture and a friendly interface honed for game creation.
Many years ago, the real flesh & blood Shigeru Miyamoto, a big haired, wide-eyed and talented young games designer, was out at the local zoo researching monkey behaviour, motion and mannerisms for his forthcoming ‘Monkey Kong’ arcade game project, when he went too close to the simian enclosure. All of a sudden, a highly-strung and aggravated cigar smoking poo-slinging monkey (God only knows where he got the cigar from) grabbed him and beat him to death with his bucket-sized hands. But, like in the films “Robocop” or “Universal Soldier”, scientists and technicians recovered all his vital organs from the flattened pulp and fixed his head on an experimental robotic body. But instead of turning him into a psychotic government killing machine like they usually do, they turned him into a mild mannered video games designers, with the ‘Prime Directive’ to provide gaming fun for all.
The actual robot body was developed in Tokyo in the late 1970s by a bunch of video game loving Japanese tech-heads, who’d been influenced by all the old Japanese robot comics and anime and who wanted to bring their robotic heroes to life in a Frankenstein meets Metal Mickey type scenario. However, due to budgeting constraints, the robot body was never actually used for anything and was put into storage for a few years, until the Miyamoto monkey tragedy happened and they realised that they had found the ideal candidate to have the robotic body.
Initially, hard-nosed Nintendo head honcho Hiroshi Yamauchi had insisted that Shigeru NINTY-X0-13 was to be a killing robot games designer with a laser attached to its forehead to eliminate competitors and fire breath like Godzilla. However, for the sake of the zoo’s safety conscious image, they decided to cover up the monkey attack incident by repairing his beaten head and stick it on top of the robotic body and keep him looking as realistic as possible, so that outsiders wouldn’t know that he was actually a machine and that the zoo still had a perfect safety record. The zoo then paid a hefty sum to Nintendo to keep the news of the monkey incident from reaching the public domain.
Also, along with laser beams and fire breath, in the initial designs for NINTY-X0-13, he had robotic roller-skates for feet so he could travel around quicker, but they looked too conspicuous to normal people. He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region” for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the game away when he met a lady.
For a laugh, the nerds even programmed the robot body to have high levels of skill in Banjo playing and a mini fridge in his belly to keep his Sushi cold.
The newly created Miyamoto robot had to remain on the lower floors of Nintendo HQ for many years, as his body didn’t have the capacity to go up and down stairs. But, through the years he was tweaked, enhanced and given better legs so he was no longer trapped like a Dalek on a single floor without being able to go upstairs.
Incidentally, the “ROB” peripheral for the NES released some time ago is actually Miyamoto’s half-brother. They used the same NINTY-X0-13 principal, but on a smaller scale.
People often wondered why Miyamoto walked funny, many even thought he belonged to the Japanese branch of the “Ministry of Silly Walks”, but it was because he was a robot and it was his natural way of walking. It is also believed that it was Miyamoto who introduced “The Robot” dance to the world. In the groovy discothèques of Tokyo he entranced fellow dancers with his robotic dancing action, and though it was merely his natural way of dancing, many folks copied his action and the whole “do the robot dance” phenomenon followed.
Since the news of Miyamoto being a robot was released, Nintendo decided to cash in by developing “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go”, a strangely titled yet unoriginal robot adventure game where you collect and build robots and then trade them with friends, family and complete strangers. Plus coming soon, the “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go” cartoon series, toys, toothbrushes, bed sheets & pillowcase, breakfast cereal, his and hers matching pyjamas and bath robe, the amusing Robo Shigeru foot massager, the giant sized Robo Shigeru foam hand (those things wrestling fans always seem to have), and more.
Bill Gates has since tried to jump on the “I’m also part robot” publicity bandwagon and attempted to give himself enhanced robotic appendages to help him improve his image, and he cunningly named himself “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist”.
He even wants to expand his empire by starring in a Metal Mickey style sitcom about an oddball robot character living with Mr & Mrs America and their apple pie family, with special guest appearances from Mr. T, ALF, Gary Coleman, Bill Cosby, The guys out of CHiPS and many other popular 1980’s TV heroes.
Coming soon: "Robo Shigeru “NINTY-X0-13” Miyamoto makes love to a washing machine” shocker!!
And
“Bill “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist” Gates gets a rusty bum-cheek” shocker!!
The shock news came after Miyamoto had collapsed in a press conference with sparks coming from his right ear and obviously fears for his safety were high. However, those concerns were calmed when it was revealed that it was only a slight malfunction with his Flex-Capacitor and that his batteries were over-heating in the hot and humid conference centre.
Many questions were quickly asked about this strange occurrence, and so Nintendo had to reveal the truth about where Shigeru Miyamoto really came from......
Nintendo held the secret for many years, and many people have often wondered how Shigeru Miyamoto can consistently develop such brilliantly innovative software and bring happiness and joy to so many people. The answer is that he’s a finely tuned robot with enhanced game designing artificial brain architecture and a friendly interface honed for game creation.
Many years ago, the real flesh & blood Shigeru Miyamoto, a big haired, wide-eyed and talented young games designer, was out at the local zoo researching monkey behaviour, motion and mannerisms for his forthcoming ‘Monkey Kong’ arcade game project, when he went too close to the simian enclosure. All of a sudden, a highly-strung and aggravated cigar smoking poo-slinging monkey (God only knows where he got the cigar from) grabbed him and beat him to death with his bucket-sized hands. But, like in the films “Robocop” or “Universal Soldier”, scientists and technicians recovered all his vital organs from the flattened pulp and fixed his head on an experimental robotic body. But instead of turning him into a psychotic government killing machine like they usually do, they turned him into a mild mannered video games designers, with the ‘Prime Directive’ to provide gaming fun for all.
The actual robot body was developed in Tokyo in the late 1970s by a bunch of video game loving Japanese tech-heads, who’d been influenced by all the old Japanese robot comics and anime and who wanted to bring their robotic heroes to life in a Frankenstein meets Metal Mickey type scenario. However, due to budgeting constraints, the robot body was never actually used for anything and was put into storage for a few years, until the Miyamoto monkey tragedy happened and they realised that they had found the ideal candidate to have the robotic body.
Initially, hard-nosed Nintendo head honcho Hiroshi Yamauchi had insisted that Shigeru NINTY-X0-13 was to be a killing robot games designer with a laser attached to its forehead to eliminate competitors and fire breath like Godzilla. However, for the sake of the zoo’s safety conscious image, they decided to cover up the monkey attack incident by repairing his beaten head and stick it on top of the robotic body and keep him looking as realistic as possible, so that outsiders wouldn’t know that he was actually a machine and that the zoo still had a perfect safety record. The zoo then paid a hefty sum to Nintendo to keep the news of the monkey incident from reaching the public domain.
Also, along with laser beams and fire breath, in the initial designs for NINTY-X0-13, he had robotic roller-skates for feet so he could travel around quicker, but they looked too conspicuous to normal people. He also had a vacuum cleaner appendage in his “lower region” for cleaning the floor as well, but the idea was eventually scrapped due to him having an inappropriate sized “Johnson” that might give the game away when he met a lady.
For a laugh, the nerds even programmed the robot body to have high levels of skill in Banjo playing and a mini fridge in his belly to keep his Sushi cold.
The newly created Miyamoto robot had to remain on the lower floors of Nintendo HQ for many years, as his body didn’t have the capacity to go up and down stairs. But, through the years he was tweaked, enhanced and given better legs so he was no longer trapped like a Dalek on a single floor without being able to go upstairs.
Incidentally, the “ROB” peripheral for the NES released some time ago is actually Miyamoto’s half-brother. They used the same NINTY-X0-13 principal, but on a smaller scale.
People often wondered why Miyamoto walked funny, many even thought he belonged to the Japanese branch of the “Ministry of Silly Walks”, but it was because he was a robot and it was his natural way of walking. It is also believed that it was Miyamoto who introduced “The Robot” dance to the world. In the groovy discothèques of Tokyo he entranced fellow dancers with his robotic dancing action, and though it was merely his natural way of dancing, many folks copied his action and the whole “do the robot dance” phenomenon followed.
Since the news of Miyamoto being a robot was released, Nintendo decided to cash in by developing “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go”, a strangely titled yet unoriginal robot adventure game where you collect and build robots and then trade them with friends, family and complete strangers. Plus coming soon, the “Super Robo Shigeru Go Go” cartoon series, toys, toothbrushes, bed sheets & pillowcase, breakfast cereal, his and hers matching pyjamas and bath robe, the amusing Robo Shigeru foot massager, the giant sized Robo Shigeru foam hand (those things wrestling fans always seem to have), and more.
Bill Gates has since tried to jump on the “I’m also part robot” publicity bandwagon and attempted to give himself enhanced robotic appendages to help him improve his image, and he cunningly named himself “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist”.
He even wants to expand his empire by starring in a Metal Mickey style sitcom about an oddball robot character living with Mr & Mrs America and their apple pie family, with special guest appearances from Mr. T, ALF, Gary Coleman, Bill Cosby, The guys out of CHiPS and many other popular 1980’s TV heroes.
Coming soon: "Robo Shigeru “NINTY-X0-13” Miyamoto makes love to a washing machine” shocker!!
And
“Bill “Robo-Bill: The Man With The Iron Fist” Gates gets a rusty bum-cheek” shocker!!