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The gaming world was rocked today when representatives from Nintendo, one of the most respected companies in gaming, revealed that it's latest console, the 'Gamecube', was nothing more than a prank.
"We, as a worldwide organization, have decided that the time is right to tell the truth. This announcement will leave many shocked and appalled, especially when it comes to you Ninty fanboys..." a spokeswoman began, kicking off the press conference by pointing at some eight year old boys sitting at the back, playing with some Pokemon cards. Unfortunately, it was another fourty five minutes before she spoke again, only offering us some cryptic screenshots showing a spaceship, and what looked like the shadow of Toad.
The audience was assured that the woman would talk again in five minutes...but then this slipped to ten minutes, and fifteen...finally, she began to speak once more (but only in Japan. America got their representative to speak about an hour later, whereas Europe is still waiting).
"As many of you know, Nintendo have a new console out..." Unfortunately, this prompted several journalists in the second row to pass out, but they soon came round (thanks to some strangers tickling them with SNES cartridges) and were told that wasn't the shock announcement. The spokeswoman continued:
"The Gamecube has been selling very...pr-...respectably, with such great titles as...Su-...Spid-...well, with great titles. This is why you will be amazed to hear that the Gamecube was just a joke."
People in the third row prepared for the people in the second row to faint again, but they remained seated, muttering: "Well, we kinda thought so anyway..."
Shigeru Miyamoto then strolled onstage.
"Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry for having to lie to you...but the games industry is all about fun, right? All about games? Well, here at Nintendo we believe that this industry is all about fun...and we've had lots of fun with this latest 'console'. You see, we had had a long day at work. The guys were bored of playing King of the Hill on Halo, and couldn't face more Hell In A Cell matches in Smackdown 3...we needed something to do. Which is when I got it...the greatest idea of them all...we could pull the biggest prank the world has ever seen...and still make money from it!"
"We took the stupidest ideas from the N64, such as a silly medium for making games, weird shape, and an unusually sharp controller...and times them by ten. That's how we got a cube, tiny little discs and a lump of plastic with a C-stick. Then we went outside for some lunch, and saw some homeless people...and realised they could help us! We gave them dev kits, and they made us Luigi's Mansion! We gave them more money, and they made more games - Super Smash Brothers Melee, Wave Race, the lot! They eveb started making a cel-shaded Zelda! Then, I phoned up my mates at Sega...but they didn't like the idea at all!"
"Sega decided to make good games for the Gamecube, like Super Monkey Ball...they were ruining our fun! But why reveal it all now? Why not wait?"
Just then, the picture of the GC logo changed to a picture of Mario.
"Sega did the unthinkable...they kidnapped our programmers, and forced them to make...SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE!"
The people in the second row fainted again.
"Now they want to make a new F-Zero X, and are trying to get Rare to finally release some games! So before this goes to far, I must tell you all that the Gamecube is a fraud! It's not even a real console! Open it up, it's just a SNES with a GeForce 2 sellotaped on to the back! Stop Sega before it's too late...for it is divine to forgive! Nintendo shall triumph! Vive la Yoshi!"
Surly men in black suits then grabbed Mr Miyamoto, and escorted him to the back of the stage. All that was heard from then on was Mr Miyamoto screaming 'Koopa!' over and over again, and snapping sounds.
-Gamespot Complete
---------------------------------------------------
The above was not true. Sorry Ninties for any offense...
Thanks for reading it (if you didn't, BAH TO YOU).
"We, as a worldwide organization, have decided that the time is right to tell the truth. This announcement will leave many shocked and appalled, especially when it comes to you Ninty fanboys..." a spokeswoman began, kicking off the press conference by pointing at some eight year old boys sitting at the back, playing with some Pokemon cards. Unfortunately, it was another fourty five minutes before she spoke again, only offering us some cryptic screenshots showing a spaceship, and what looked like the shadow of Toad.
The audience was assured that the woman would talk again in five minutes...but then this slipped to ten minutes, and fifteen...finally, she began to speak once more (but only in Japan. America got their representative to speak about an hour later, whereas Europe is still waiting).
"As many of you know, Nintendo have a new console out..." Unfortunately, this prompted several journalists in the second row to pass out, but they soon came round (thanks to some strangers tickling them with SNES cartridges) and were told that wasn't the shock announcement. The spokeswoman continued:
"The Gamecube has been selling very...pr-...respectably, with such great titles as...Su-...Spid-...well, with great titles. This is why you will be amazed to hear that the Gamecube was just a joke."
People in the third row prepared for the people in the second row to faint again, but they remained seated, muttering: "Well, we kinda thought so anyway..."
Shigeru Miyamoto then strolled onstage.
"Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry for having to lie to you...but the games industry is all about fun, right? All about games? Well, here at Nintendo we believe that this industry is all about fun...and we've had lots of fun with this latest 'console'. You see, we had had a long day at work. The guys were bored of playing King of the Hill on Halo, and couldn't face more Hell In A Cell matches in Smackdown 3...we needed something to do. Which is when I got it...the greatest idea of them all...we could pull the biggest prank the world has ever seen...and still make money from it!"
"We took the stupidest ideas from the N64, such as a silly medium for making games, weird shape, and an unusually sharp controller...and times them by ten. That's how we got a cube, tiny little discs and a lump of plastic with a C-stick. Then we went outside for some lunch, and saw some homeless people...and realised they could help us! We gave them dev kits, and they made us Luigi's Mansion! We gave them more money, and they made more games - Super Smash Brothers Melee, Wave Race, the lot! They eveb started making a cel-shaded Zelda! Then, I phoned up my mates at Sega...but they didn't like the idea at all!"
"Sega decided to make good games for the Gamecube, like Super Monkey Ball...they were ruining our fun! But why reveal it all now? Why not wait?"
Just then, the picture of the GC logo changed to a picture of Mario.
"Sega did the unthinkable...they kidnapped our programmers, and forced them to make...SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE!"
The people in the second row fainted again.
"Now they want to make a new F-Zero X, and are trying to get Rare to finally release some games! So before this goes to far, I must tell you all that the Gamecube is a fraud! It's not even a real console! Open it up, it's just a SNES with a GeForce 2 sellotaped on to the back! Stop Sega before it's too late...for it is divine to forgive! Nintendo shall triumph! Vive la Yoshi!"
Surly men in black suits then grabbed Mr Miyamoto, and escorted him to the back of the stage. All that was heard from then on was Mr Miyamoto screaming 'Koopa!' over and over again, and snapping sounds.
-Gamespot Complete
---------------------------------------------------
The above was not true. Sorry Ninties for any offense...
Thanks for reading it (if you didn't, BAH TO YOU).
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Jez13 wrote:
> SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> Er.. Nintendo are the best games company in the world. Ever.
> It's official.
>
> Or playstation, or rare, or rockstar, or konami, or ...
There's no 'or' about it. It's official. Konami I'd say were a close second. By the way, playstation aren't a games company. Moron.
> SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> Er.. Nintendo are the best games company in the world. Ever.
> It's official.
>
> Or playstation, or rare, or rockstar, or konami, or ...
There's no 'or' about it. It's official. Konami I'd say were a close second. By the way, playstation aren't a games company. Moron.
Thanks for all the constructive comments, and sorry for wasting a few minutes of your time with this topic ;-)
If you want to see something better, look on the GAD list for my 'make your own game' thread.
If you want to see something better, look on the GAD list for my 'make your own game' thread.
ps2_proud wrote:
> i liked it.
you would :D bet you wished it was true as well did'nt you? ;)
jk, neway good post El Swandre :)
slik ~_~
> i liked it.
you would :D bet you wished it was true as well did'nt you? ;)
jk, neway good post El Swandre :)
slik ~_~
AfroJoe wrote:
>
> Mr. Happy, you inspired me to my latest post, titles X-Box-ism.
>
> :-)
Yeah we've got Mr Happy to blame for all these terrible attempts at humour *shakes fist at Happy*.
You see guys, Mr Happy's had the one element that's missing from most of these, Humour, they just don't work and are very boring if they aren't funny.
>
> Mr. Happy, you inspired me to my latest post, titles X-Box-ism.
>
> :-)
Yeah we've got Mr Happy to blame for all these terrible attempts at humour *shakes fist at Happy*.
You see guys, Mr Happy's had the one element that's missing from most of these, Humour, they just don't work and are very boring if they aren't funny.
i liked it.
*titled
Mr. Happy wrote:
> Tóm wrote:
> Didn't someone write something nearly exactly the same as this on
> April Fools day? I think it was wookiee.
>
> Nah that was me, and I said the X-box was an aprils fool. Which it was
> and still is :-)
---
Mr. Happy, you inspired me to my latest post, titles X-Box-ism.
:-)
> Tóm wrote:
> Didn't someone write something nearly exactly the same as this on
> April Fools day? I think it was wookiee.
>
> Nah that was me, and I said the X-box was an aprils fool. Which it was
> and still is :-)
---
Mr. Happy, you inspired me to my latest post, titles X-Box-ism.
:-)
Oh dear.
Tóm wrote:
> Didn't someone write something nearly exactly the same as this on
> April Fools day? I think it was wookiee.
Nah that was me, and I said the X-box was an aprils fool. Which it was and still is :-)
> Didn't someone write something nearly exactly the same as this on
> April Fools day? I think it was wookiee.
Nah that was me, and I said the X-box was an aprils fool. Which it was and still is :-)
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