The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
When a survery was carried out in the London area, the following statistics were concluded to be moderately, erm... true:
(percentages are of the total number of cockney youngsters we surveyed)
- 76% are aiming to be London cab drivers
- 21% are aiming to be prosts**tutes
- 3% are aiming to be es**ther homeless, smelly, ws**th bad tooth decay, or all of the above.
So s**t seems that ws**th the number of people who are driving cabs destined to rise dramatically ws**thin the next 5 - 10 years, s**t seems only fair that we should ask some of the top drivers to give our future cabbies some advice and talk about their past experiences.
Altogether now... WHERE TO, GUV'NOR?!
*ahem...*
"Axel" said:
"Whoa! Gnarly, dude! I just dig bein' a taxi driver, 'cos s**t's like sooo gnarly, dude! Awesome! Make sure you got some awesome music goin' on, dude! Offspring totally rock, man! No ponsey Vanilla Ice for this taxi dude, dude! But one thing you ls**ttles dudes gotta remember is to make sure you get a car that like jumps, dude! I can't stress this radical point enough, man! Yeah! Gnarly..."
< note: what followed was approximately 10 hours of "gnarly", "dude" and "radical"... so we left him to s**t. >
"Tan" said:
"Taxi driver? F off!!! When I drive, s**t's for, erm... undercover cop stuff, yeah. I'm no lawbreaker, man. My advice as a professional driver though, would be to put yer damn foot down on that pedal and go hell for leather, 'cos no matter what happens, Mother Nature will always make sure that those smarmy pedestrian sods will run out of harm's way. Is that s**t? Is this thing over? Right, cool.. 'cos I gotta get goin'. Yeah, I gotta pick up some hooker guy, yeah. GET OUTTA MY F'N FACE, SCUM!"
< note: by taking any notice of the above statement, you are hereby signing the rights of your life over to us and should be prepared for numerous attempts on your life over the next, well... years that you, er... live. Hmmm... reckon Tan's stationed in Los Angeles? *cough* corrupt *cough* >
"Travis" said:
"When workin' for da big boys, ya gotta make sures ya don't p*ss 'em off 'cos dey don't like that sorta thing down at da lodge, man. My advice - and this is comin' from av guy who's been doin' this sorta thing for 3 whole months ws**thout an injury, man, so I'm a professional - is that da police for some reason got dis problem wid people who run people over and rob banks and s*s**t like dat. So ma advice is to do all dose things anyway, 'cos da law states that no matter how much offences ya comms**t, dose cops'll always let ya out straight away, man."
< note: erm... do we really need to say anything? >
"Michael Schumacher" said:
"I'M GERMAN! GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!!"
< note: ! >
Well there you have s**t, ladies and gentlemen. We can rest easy now, in the knowledge that the cabbies of tomorrow will have us safely to our destinations thanks to the perfect advice given to them by these marvellous professionals.
Hmmm...,
Best take the bus, eh?
(percentages are of the total number of cockney youngsters we surveyed)
- 76% are aiming to be London cab drivers
- 21% are aiming to be prosts**tutes
- 3% are aiming to be es**ther homeless, smelly, ws**th bad tooth decay, or all of the above.
So s**t seems that ws**th the number of people who are driving cabs destined to rise dramatically ws**thin the next 5 - 10 years, s**t seems only fair that we should ask some of the top drivers to give our future cabbies some advice and talk about their past experiences.
Altogether now... WHERE TO, GUV'NOR?!
*ahem...*
"Axel" said:
"Whoa! Gnarly, dude! I just dig bein' a taxi driver, 'cos s**t's like sooo gnarly, dude! Awesome! Make sure you got some awesome music goin' on, dude! Offspring totally rock, man! No ponsey Vanilla Ice for this taxi dude, dude! But one thing you ls**ttles dudes gotta remember is to make sure you get a car that like jumps, dude! I can't stress this radical point enough, man! Yeah! Gnarly..."
< note: what followed was approximately 10 hours of "gnarly", "dude" and "radical"... so we left him to s**t. >
"Tan" said:
"Taxi driver? F off!!! When I drive, s**t's for, erm... undercover cop stuff, yeah. I'm no lawbreaker, man. My advice as a professional driver though, would be to put yer damn foot down on that pedal and go hell for leather, 'cos no matter what happens, Mother Nature will always make sure that those smarmy pedestrian sods will run out of harm's way.
< note: by taking any notice of the above statement, you are hereby signing the rights of your life over to us and should be prepared for numerous attempts on your life over the next, well... years that you, er... live. Hmmm... reckon Tan's stationed in Los Angeles? *cough* corrupt *cough* >
"Travis" said:
"When workin' for da big boys, ya gotta make sures ya don't p*ss 'em off 'cos dey don't like that sorta thing down at da lodge, man. My advice - and this is comin' from av guy who's been doin' this sorta thing for 3 whole months ws**thout an injury, man, so I'm a professional - is that da police for some reason got dis problem wid people who run people over and rob banks and s*s**t like dat. So ma advice is to do all dose things anyway, 'cos da law states that no matter how much offences ya comms**t, dose cops'll always let ya out straight away, man."
< note: erm... do we really need to say anything? >
"Michael Schumacher" said:
"I'M GERMAN! GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!!"
< note: ! >
Well there you have s**t, ladies and gentlemen. We can rest easy now, in the knowledge that the cabbies of tomorrow will have us safely to our destinations thanks to the perfect advice given to them by these marvellous professionals.
Hmmm...,
Best take the bus, eh?
Edgy wrote:
> Though not one of your taxi drivers did say it, and as I said, none of
> them sounded londonish in the way they talked...despite claiming to be
> London cabbie drivers...
*
Actually, none of them ever claimed to be London taxi drivers and I didn't say that they themselves were taxi drivers... I just said the word "drivers". So you should cease your assumptions, young man!
> Though not one of your taxi drivers did say it, and as I said, none of
> them sounded londonish in the way they talked...despite claiming to be
> London cabbie drivers...
*
Actually, none of them ever claimed to be London taxi drivers and I didn't say that they themselves were taxi drivers... I just said the word "drivers". So you should cease your assumptions, young man!
Though not one of your taxi drivers did say it, and as I said, none of them sounded londonish in the way they talked...despite claiming to be London cabbie drivers...
All taxi drivers, regardless of their ethnic routes, religion and sex say "Alright, Guv'nor". It's a law that's almost as old as time itself.
Very good, shame not one of them had a London/cockney accent....especially that first one with his American-talk! :)
When a survery was carried out in the London area, the following statistics were concluded to be moderately, erm... true:
(percentages are of the total number of cockney youngsters we surveyed)
- 76% are aiming to be London cab drivers
- 21% are aiming to be prosts**tutes
- 3% are aiming to be es**ther homeless, smelly, ws**th bad tooth decay, or all of the above.
So s**t seems that ws**th the number of people who are driving cabs destined to rise dramatically ws**thin the next 5 - 10 years, s**t seems only fair that we should ask some of the top drivers to give our future cabbies some advice and talk about their past experiences.
Altogether now... WHERE TO, GUV'NOR?!
*ahem...*
"Axel" said:
"Whoa! Gnarly, dude! I just dig bein' a taxi driver, 'cos s**t's like sooo gnarly, dude! Awesome! Make sure you got some awesome music goin' on, dude! Offspring totally rock, man! No ponsey Vanilla Ice for this taxi dude, dude! But one thing you ls**ttles dudes gotta remember is to make sure you get a car that like jumps, dude! I can't stress this radical point enough, man! Yeah! Gnarly..."
< note: what followed was approximately 10 hours of "gnarly", "dude" and "radical"... so we left him to s**t. >
"Tan" said:
"Taxi driver? F off!!! When I drive, s**t's for, erm... undercover cop stuff, yeah. I'm no lawbreaker, man. My advice as a professional driver though, would be to put yer damn foot down on that pedal and go hell for leather, 'cos no matter what happens, Mother Nature will always make sure that those smarmy pedestrian sods will run out of harm's way. Is that s**t? Is this thing over? Right, cool.. 'cos I gotta get goin'. Yeah, I gotta pick up some hooker guy, yeah. GET OUTTA MY F'N FACE, SCUM!"
< note: by taking any notice of the above statement, you are hereby signing the rights of your life over to us and should be prepared for numerous attempts on your life over the next, well... years that you, er... live. Hmmm... reckon Tan's stationed in Los Angeles? *cough* corrupt *cough* >
"Travis" said:
"When workin' for da big boys, ya gotta make sures ya don't p*ss 'em off 'cos dey don't like that sorta thing down at da lodge, man. My advice - and this is comin' from av guy who's been doin' this sorta thing for 3 whole months ws**thout an injury, man, so I'm a professional - is that da police for some reason got dis problem wid people who run people over and rob banks and s*s**t like dat. So ma advice is to do all dose things anyway, 'cos da law states that no matter how much offences ya comms**t, dose cops'll always let ya out straight away, man."
< note: erm... do we really need to say anything? >
"Michael Schumacher" said:
"I'M GERMAN! GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!!"
< note: ! >
Well there you have s**t, ladies and gentlemen. We can rest easy now, in the knowledge that the cabbies of tomorrow will have us safely to our destinations thanks to the perfect advice given to them by these marvellous professionals.
Hmmm...,
Best take the bus, eh?
(percentages are of the total number of cockney youngsters we surveyed)
- 76% are aiming to be London cab drivers
- 21% are aiming to be prosts**tutes
- 3% are aiming to be es**ther homeless, smelly, ws**th bad tooth decay, or all of the above.
So s**t seems that ws**th the number of people who are driving cabs destined to rise dramatically ws**thin the next 5 - 10 years, s**t seems only fair that we should ask some of the top drivers to give our future cabbies some advice and talk about their past experiences.
Altogether now... WHERE TO, GUV'NOR?!
*ahem...*
"Axel" said:
"Whoa! Gnarly, dude! I just dig bein' a taxi driver, 'cos s**t's like sooo gnarly, dude! Awesome! Make sure you got some awesome music goin' on, dude! Offspring totally rock, man! No ponsey Vanilla Ice for this taxi dude, dude! But one thing you ls**ttles dudes gotta remember is to make sure you get a car that like jumps, dude! I can't stress this radical point enough, man! Yeah! Gnarly..."
< note: what followed was approximately 10 hours of "gnarly", "dude" and "radical"... so we left him to s**t. >
"Tan" said:
"Taxi driver? F off!!! When I drive, s**t's for, erm... undercover cop stuff, yeah. I'm no lawbreaker, man. My advice as a professional driver though, would be to put yer damn foot down on that pedal and go hell for leather, 'cos no matter what happens, Mother Nature will always make sure that those smarmy pedestrian sods will run out of harm's way.
< note: by taking any notice of the above statement, you are hereby signing the rights of your life over to us and should be prepared for numerous attempts on your life over the next, well... years that you, er... live. Hmmm... reckon Tan's stationed in Los Angeles? *cough* corrupt *cough* >
"Travis" said:
"When workin' for da big boys, ya gotta make sures ya don't p*ss 'em off 'cos dey don't like that sorta thing down at da lodge, man. My advice - and this is comin' from av guy who's been doin' this sorta thing for 3 whole months ws**thout an injury, man, so I'm a professional - is that da police for some reason got dis problem wid people who run people over and rob banks and s*s**t like dat. So ma advice is to do all dose things anyway, 'cos da law states that no matter how much offences ya comms**t, dose cops'll always let ya out straight away, man."
< note: erm... do we really need to say anything? >
"Michael Schumacher" said:
"I'M GERMAN! GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!!"
< note: ! >
Well there you have s**t, ladies and gentlemen. We can rest easy now, in the knowledge that the cabbies of tomorrow will have us safely to our destinations thanks to the perfect advice given to them by these marvellous professionals.
Hmmm...,
Best take the bus, eh?