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Loki fell asleep at SR towers while deep frying some snicker bars, which caused a horrific fire that set the place a light and burnt it to the ground. Everyone escaped but most of the stock was lost. It wouldn’t have been that bad because the insurance would of covered the damage costs but 7 days before Mr. Snuggly was put in charge of renewing it.
*Snuggly was walking down the street with the renewal letter in his hand. There was a corner shop followed by pub followed by the post office*
Mr. Snuggly – must post letter, must post letter, must post… ow! A pub! I’ll just go for a little drink and then…
*poor soul never made it to the post office, let alone home that night*
-------------------------------
*specail reserve has a new base, a corner of a bar at a secret location in England (which kinda of resembles moes tavern from the simpsons). The only things that survived the blaze were 27 copies of carmageddon 64 and hybrid values laptop (with a hard-drive space of 2 giga bytes, 2% cookies, 4% internet file, 66% German dungeon porn, 27% mystique pictures and 3% free).
We join our hero Tony as he decides who will win game a day*
Tony – eny meny miny moo...
Loki – what you doing Tony?
Tony – Loki, I though I fired you?
Loki – you did
*tony looks up*
Loki – I work here now
Tony – oh, good for you
Loki – hey Tony, where’s the rest of the crew?
Tony- out working
Loki – what?! Did you sack everyone and hire a whole new work force?
Tony – no, its just that we’re nearly bankrupt and can just about afford the line rental for the internet. So everyone has got second jobs to keep the forums going
*loki serves a costumer and then turns back to Tony*
Loki – so what are they all doing?
Tony – um, well brad busks on the streets and plays the panpipes, Snuggly works at a pet shop in the city center, Darkus is a, um, no wait, he hasn’t found one yet. Schroeder is a door to door toothbrush sales women and a new kiddy we’ve been given from the government, um, fido dido that’s it, she hands out leaflets or something like that.
Loki - the government?
Tony – yeah, she came in here with some guys in uniforms and they threw her at me. Then they said she was mine and I should not ask any questions.
Loki – you don’t think she’s some kind troublemaker do you?
Tony – I don’t know, but we need all the help we can get.
Loki – what’s hybrid doing?
Tony – don’t know. But for some reason he told me to turn to BBC 1 at 7 o’clock
Loki – is he a newsreader?
Tony – I don’t know
Loki – what about a presenter?
Tony – I don’t know!
Loki – or a…
Tony – I TOLD YOU I DON’T KNOW!
*Tony burst into tears*
Loki – huh? Easy there mate
Tony – I just can’t take it any more! *sob* first the business, then my salary, then my cars! *sob* my beautiful babies! My BMW, my porch, the monster trucks! *sob*
Loki – I didn’t know…
Tony – *sniff* you know what I drive now?
Loki - *wipes a tear from his eye* what?
Tony – a, a *sniff* a f, f…
Loki – let it out man
Tony – a f, f, ford, f, fiesta
*Loki also bursts out into tears and hands Tony a tissue before getting himself one. Schroeder and Mr Snuggly walk threw the door*
Schroeder – not again!
Loki - *sniff* what do you mean?
Schroeder – ever since he’s lost his cars and gone on tranquillisers he’s been going through these episodes
Loki – huh?
*Schroeder walks up and slaps Tony hard on his face. Tony stops crying and carries on with his work on the laptop*
Tony – thanks, I need that
-------------------------------
*5 minutes to 7 and the whole crew are crowded around the tv in the bar, all except for Mr. Snuggly and Hybrid*
Brad – where’s Snuggs?
Schroeder – in the corner
Fido Dido – what’s he doing there?
Schroeder – playing with his duck
Brad – his what?
Schroeder – his duck. He pinched it from his shop and now spends all his time playing with it
Brad – whats the little critter called?
Schroeder – Mr. Snuggly
Brad – no the duck
Schroeder – don’t know. Hay snuggs, whats your duck called?
Mr. Snuggly – basil
Brad – basil, that’s my mothers nam…
Everyone – shush!
*the tv is turned on*
Darkus – look, there he is
Tony – shut up you fool
Schroeder – yeah, that’s Ralph Harris. Animal hospital is just ending
*Darkus sinks into his seat in embarrassment*
------------------------
*on tv…*
Ralph – and on next weeks show we’ll be looking at a goose with a broken wing and a goatboy who was saved from deaths door by a friendly Samaritan. Bye for now!
(animal hospital music plays, waw waw waw waw waaaaaaaw waaaaaaaaw wwaaaawww )
voice over bloke on advert – and on BBC 2 in 10 minutes a documentary on the biker revaluation in the west country called big boys on bikes
Schroeder – doesn’t Brad have a subscription to a magazine along those lines?
Brad - *nervous cough* um, no…
voice over bloke – and now tomorrows world
*pictures of science stuff and naked babies swimming about on the screen*
presenter – hi and welcome to tomorrows world! Today we have a story on a brake through for cancer and sightings of a real alien, but first a man who has made an AI all by himself!
Hybrid (wearing a leather jacket and gap shades making him look pretty smooth) – hay there
Presenter – now tell us about this creation of yours
Hybrid – well I designed it by hand on my own over the last 3 years. It walks, talks and makes it own decisions
Presenter – how does it work
Hybrid – well I made some highly intelligent software stuff from bits and pieces lying around at work and put it into a plastic foam shell that moves with the help of hydraulics and vibrations
Loki – so that’s where my ferbie went!
Tony – and my jcb digger
Brad – and my vibrat… *everyone in the room stares at Brad* I mean… um… hey look everyone, he’s going to show it!
Presenter – can we see it?
Hybrid – yeah sure, you see I put it into the style of a garden gnome to make it seem friendly and welcomin…. Huh? *Reaches down under the desk* its gone?!
Presenter – pardon?
Hybrid – its vanished, I left it right here and now its just gone
Presenter – well, um… *puts finger on ear piece to get instructions* that’s ok, we’ll just move onto the next topic. We have documents here with the cure to cancer in them. yes that’s righ… *a bead of sweat runs down his face* there gone to! What are we going to do?!
*Tony turns of the tv*
tony – so hybrids failed again, big news. But we’ve got to look ahead. We’ve all been making progress. Now Schroeder, what have you been up to today?
Schroeder – trying to sell tooth brushes
Tony – well
Schroeder – well what?
Tony – did you get any money?
Schroeder – if I sold anything I wouldn’t have said trying would I?!
Tony – ok, ok. That’s alright, Snuggly how about you.
Mr. Snuggly – *looks up from his duck* what did you say
Tony – I said… whats the point, just forget it *tony slumps into his chair*
------------------------
*everyone is sitting around the bar watching Mr. Snuggly’s duck doing tricks. Then from out of nowhere the female toilet door swings open and Mr. Snuggly steps out*
Mr. Snuggly - wow it really does work!
Darkus – what the fu…
*the group turn around and look at snuggly standing by the girls loos and then turns to see him also sitting at the bar*
everyone – huh?
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how the hell?
Mr. Snuggly (by girls toilets) – oh sorry let me explain myself. I have traveled back in time through a wormhole in one of the cubicles
Everyone – wow
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how did I find it?
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – I just told you about it
Tony – I see
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – anyway I’ve gotta go back now, see ya
*everyone waves and stares with a confused look on their faces*
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – but before I go, Schroeder you left your pregnancy test on the floor in there. Ok bye now
*the second Mr. Snuggly goes in to he toilets*
Mr. Snuggly – cool I’m gonna try it out!
*Mr. Snuggly walks in and then a few seconds later walks out*
Mr. Snuggly – cool! Anyway Schroeder about this test thingy
*most of the SR crew are to gob-smacked by what’s happened in the last few minutes to even speak*
Tony – ha, and I thought I had issues!
Schroeder – well I um, I, well er, it seems that…
Loki – need a drink?
Schroeder – double vodka please
Loki – anyone else?
Brad – no, I gotta go now
Darkus – me too
*Brad and Darkus get up and leave hand in hand*
*Schroeder drinks the vodka in one gulp*
--------------------------
*1 and a half bottles of cheap vodka later…*
Schroeder – well you know after that party when we got drunk
Tony – which one?
Schroeder – you know the one where everyone got completely smashed?
Tony – which one? You got the Christmas, the spring, the pay day one, the before Easter one, the Easter one, the one after Easter fore no reason the...
Schroeder – yeah it was that one. Well I woke up next to someone in the main offices and ran out quickly. Then I noticed a few weeks ago I was getting a bit tubby so this morning I took a test
Tony – well are you?
Schroeder – I don’t know, I lost the pack with the instructions on
*just then a strange small shrivelled looking man walks threw the door… followed by yoda*
Mr. Snuggly – welcome home Hybrid and er the other bloke
Yoda – I am yoda *yoda walks up to snuggly’s duck* the force is strong in this one
*hybrid jumps up from his bar stool*
hybrid – the yoda?! Wow! I’ve seen all your movies sir!
Yoda – why thankyou
Hybrid – and if I wasn’t so short that I needed to take a step ladder to the shop to reach you videos on the top shelf I’d watch them everyday!
Yoda – top shelf? Oh you’ve got me confused with my twin brother toga, he stars in all the good adult movies
Hybrid – opps
Tony – anyway, what are you doing here in are humble work office?
Loki – you mean my pub
Tony – ok fine, loki’s pub
Yoda – I have a feeling that great danger is ahead
Tony – really
*Mr. Snuggly farts loudly*
hybrid – that’s incredible!
Yoda – no. Even greater danger *puts fingers in mouth and whistles. Samuel Jackson runs threw the doors on all fours with a piece of paper in his mouth and drops it infront of Tony. He then crawls into the corner*
Samuel Jackson – to slave the pig who deed I am, he said no but hill of monkeys from his back with jugglers
Tony – whats that?
Yoda – instructions
Tony – no that thing in the corner
Yoda- that’s samuel jackson. Poor thing, Barclays got their hands on him and he’s been like this ever since
Loki – what do the instructions say?
Tony – they says that after yoda leaves I will have to fight a battle against hybrids gnome worrior for the right to work in this bar as hybrid made him and then left him in the cupboard for weeks making his creation angry and wanting revenge. Oh and the instruction pack to the pregnancy test is in Schroeder’s coat
Yoda – come boy *Samuel Jackson runs to yoda’s side and they disappear in a puff of smoke*
Schroeder – hey he was right, the instructions are here. Just gotta pop to the loo
-----------------------
*ten minutes later in the bar a 2 foot gnome walks threw the doors*
gnome – are you the one they call Tony?
Tony – no, you can call me boss, some call me evil but most call me good looking *tony starts to laugh but stops when he notices no one else is*
Gnome – according to the script we must battle
Tony – really?
Gnome – yes, but I with you being so big and all that I don’t see how I’m gonna beat you
Tony – but I can’t fight to save my life
Gnome – nor me
Loki – I know, why don’t you have a pool match to settle this. There a table set over there
Tony – um I don’t know
Gnome – come on, it will be fun
*the pair walk to the table and in star wars style pull light sabers from their belts and use them as snooker ques*
fido dido – come on tony!
Hybrid – go gnomy
Schroeder (from the loos) – go Tony
*after ten minutes Tony manages to pot the first ball, the black. But before the gnome can celebrate Mr. Snuggly’s duck knocks a pint of beer off the side of the table onto the gnome*
gnome – nnnooooooooooo! I’m melting! *the group watch as the plastic foam shell and the dodgy electronics are melted by the cheap acidic German booze*
Mr. Snuggly – well done basil, give daddy a big kiss
loki – well done Tony
hybrid - I knew you could do it
*everyone looks at hybrid*
hybrid – well I did
Tony – hey look *tony picks up the documents containing the cure for cancer* we’re rich!
Fido dido – huh? How
Tony - We can sell this on the black market and get a fortune!
Loki – you mean your going to sell it?!
Tony – that’s what I said
*fifo dido leaps up from her stool and clamps a set of hand cuffs on Tony’s wrists*
tony – what the?
*fifo dido pulls out a police badge*
fido dido – I am placing you under arrest for trying to flog off stolen documents and working without a least on the chosen location of work. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not bring it up for evidence in a court of law. Ha! I’ve always wanted to say that!
Tony – and I would of gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling police!
*Tony is dragged out kicking and screaming*
--------------------
*Hybrid is siting down drinking a celebration beer of becoming the boss of special reserve when Schroeder runs in from the toilets crying*
loki – whats the matter?
Schroeder – I’m pregnant!
Loki – who’s the farther?
Schroeder – s-s-s snuggly! *Starts to cry even more*
Loki – when did this happen?
Schroeder – at that party just after Easter
Loki – what the one with no reason to it?
Schroeder – yeah. I slept with him that night
Loki – how could you?
Schroeder – well first he took off my bubble-bee outfit and then…
Loki – no I mean you couldn’t have
Schroeder – I woke up next to someone in the offices and Snuggly was the only on left in the building at the time so it must have been him! *crys louder*
Mr. Snuggly – don’t I get a say here
Everyone – no!
Loki – I mean you couldn’t have because we found snuggs locked in the cupboard under the stairs with Brad later that day
Mr. Snuggly – the horror, the horror! *Starts to shiver*
Schroeder - Then who else could it have been?
*hybrid grins evilly*
Schroeder –nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
------------------
*Schroeder wakes up screaming and sits strait up in her bed. A cold sweat runs down her face. She begins to start crying softly*
Schroeder – that was horrible! At least it’s over now
*Mr. Snuggly sits up and puts his arm around her*
Mr. Snuggly – shush baby, don’t worry. It was just a bad dream…
Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!
*Snuggly was walking down the street with the renewal letter in his hand. There was a corner shop followed by pub followed by the post office*
Mr. Snuggly – must post letter, must post letter, must post… ow! A pub! I’ll just go for a little drink and then…
*poor soul never made it to the post office, let alone home that night*
-------------------------------
*specail reserve has a new base, a corner of a bar at a secret location in England (which kinda of resembles moes tavern from the simpsons). The only things that survived the blaze were 27 copies of carmageddon 64 and hybrid values laptop (with a hard-drive space of 2 giga bytes, 2% cookies, 4% internet file, 66% German dungeon porn, 27% mystique pictures and 3% free).
We join our hero Tony as he decides who will win game a day*
Tony – eny meny miny moo...
Loki – what you doing Tony?
Tony – Loki, I though I fired you?
Loki – you did
*tony looks up*
Loki – I work here now
Tony – oh, good for you
Loki – hey Tony, where’s the rest of the crew?
Tony- out working
Loki – what?! Did you sack everyone and hire a whole new work force?
Tony – no, its just that we’re nearly bankrupt and can just about afford the line rental for the internet. So everyone has got second jobs to keep the forums going
*loki serves a costumer and then turns back to Tony*
Loki – so what are they all doing?
Tony – um, well brad busks on the streets and plays the panpipes, Snuggly works at a pet shop in the city center, Darkus is a, um, no wait, he hasn’t found one yet. Schroeder is a door to door toothbrush sales women and a new kiddy we’ve been given from the government, um, fido dido that’s it, she hands out leaflets or something like that.
Loki - the government?
Tony – yeah, she came in here with some guys in uniforms and they threw her at me. Then they said she was mine and I should not ask any questions.
Loki – you don’t think she’s some kind troublemaker do you?
Tony – I don’t know, but we need all the help we can get.
Loki – what’s hybrid doing?
Tony – don’t know. But for some reason he told me to turn to BBC 1 at 7 o’clock
Loki – is he a newsreader?
Tony – I don’t know
Loki – what about a presenter?
Tony – I don’t know!
Loki – or a…
Tony – I TOLD YOU I DON’T KNOW!
*Tony burst into tears*
Loki – huh? Easy there mate
Tony – I just can’t take it any more! *sob* first the business, then my salary, then my cars! *sob* my beautiful babies! My BMW, my porch, the monster trucks! *sob*
Loki – I didn’t know…
Tony – *sniff* you know what I drive now?
Loki - *wipes a tear from his eye* what?
Tony – a, a *sniff* a f, f…
Loki – let it out man
Tony – a f, f, ford, f, fiesta
*Loki also bursts out into tears and hands Tony a tissue before getting himself one. Schroeder and Mr Snuggly walk threw the door*
Schroeder – not again!
Loki - *sniff* what do you mean?
Schroeder – ever since he’s lost his cars and gone on tranquillisers he’s been going through these episodes
Loki – huh?
*Schroeder walks up and slaps Tony hard on his face. Tony stops crying and carries on with his work on the laptop*
Tony – thanks, I need that
-------------------------------
*5 minutes to 7 and the whole crew are crowded around the tv in the bar, all except for Mr. Snuggly and Hybrid*
Brad – where’s Snuggs?
Schroeder – in the corner
Fido Dido – what’s he doing there?
Schroeder – playing with his duck
Brad – his what?
Schroeder – his duck. He pinched it from his shop and now spends all his time playing with it
Brad – whats the little critter called?
Schroeder – Mr. Snuggly
Brad – no the duck
Schroeder – don’t know. Hay snuggs, whats your duck called?
Mr. Snuggly – basil
Brad – basil, that’s my mothers nam…
Everyone – shush!
*the tv is turned on*
Darkus – look, there he is
Tony – shut up you fool
Schroeder – yeah, that’s Ralph Harris. Animal hospital is just ending
*Darkus sinks into his seat in embarrassment*
------------------------
*on tv…*
Ralph – and on next weeks show we’ll be looking at a goose with a broken wing and a goatboy who was saved from deaths door by a friendly Samaritan. Bye for now!
(animal hospital music plays, waw waw waw waw waaaaaaaw waaaaaaaaw wwaaaawww )
voice over bloke on advert – and on BBC 2 in 10 minutes a documentary on the biker revaluation in the west country called big boys on bikes
Schroeder – doesn’t Brad have a subscription to a magazine along those lines?
Brad - *nervous cough* um, no…
voice over bloke – and now tomorrows world
*pictures of science stuff and naked babies swimming about on the screen*
presenter – hi and welcome to tomorrows world! Today we have a story on a brake through for cancer and sightings of a real alien, but first a man who has made an AI all by himself!
Hybrid (wearing a leather jacket and gap shades making him look pretty smooth) – hay there
Presenter – now tell us about this creation of yours
Hybrid – well I designed it by hand on my own over the last 3 years. It walks, talks and makes it own decisions
Presenter – how does it work
Hybrid – well I made some highly intelligent software stuff from bits and pieces lying around at work and put it into a plastic foam shell that moves with the help of hydraulics and vibrations
Loki – so that’s where my ferbie went!
Tony – and my jcb digger
Brad – and my vibrat… *everyone in the room stares at Brad* I mean… um… hey look everyone, he’s going to show it!
Presenter – can we see it?
Hybrid – yeah sure, you see I put it into the style of a garden gnome to make it seem friendly and welcomin…. Huh? *Reaches down under the desk* its gone?!
Presenter – pardon?
Hybrid – its vanished, I left it right here and now its just gone
Presenter – well, um… *puts finger on ear piece to get instructions* that’s ok, we’ll just move onto the next topic. We have documents here with the cure to cancer in them. yes that’s righ… *a bead of sweat runs down his face* there gone to! What are we going to do?!
*Tony turns of the tv*
tony – so hybrids failed again, big news. But we’ve got to look ahead. We’ve all been making progress. Now Schroeder, what have you been up to today?
Schroeder – trying to sell tooth brushes
Tony – well
Schroeder – well what?
Tony – did you get any money?
Schroeder – if I sold anything I wouldn’t have said trying would I?!
Tony – ok, ok. That’s alright, Snuggly how about you.
Mr. Snuggly – *looks up from his duck* what did you say
Tony – I said… whats the point, just forget it *tony slumps into his chair*
------------------------
*everyone is sitting around the bar watching Mr. Snuggly’s duck doing tricks. Then from out of nowhere the female toilet door swings open and Mr. Snuggly steps out*
Mr. Snuggly - wow it really does work!
Darkus – what the fu…
*the group turn around and look at snuggly standing by the girls loos and then turns to see him also sitting at the bar*
everyone – huh?
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how the hell?
Mr. Snuggly (by girls toilets) – oh sorry let me explain myself. I have traveled back in time through a wormhole in one of the cubicles
Everyone – wow
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how did I find it?
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – I just told you about it
Tony – I see
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – anyway I’ve gotta go back now, see ya
*everyone waves and stares with a confused look on their faces*
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – but before I go, Schroeder you left your pregnancy test on the floor in there. Ok bye now
*the second Mr. Snuggly goes in to he toilets*
Mr. Snuggly – cool I’m gonna try it out!
*Mr. Snuggly walks in and then a few seconds later walks out*
Mr. Snuggly – cool! Anyway Schroeder about this test thingy
*most of the SR crew are to gob-smacked by what’s happened in the last few minutes to even speak*
Tony – ha, and I thought I had issues!
Schroeder – well I um, I, well er, it seems that…
Loki – need a drink?
Schroeder – double vodka please
Loki – anyone else?
Brad – no, I gotta go now
Darkus – me too
*Brad and Darkus get up and leave hand in hand*
*Schroeder drinks the vodka in one gulp*
--------------------------
*1 and a half bottles of cheap vodka later…*
Schroeder – well you know after that party when we got drunk
Tony – which one?
Schroeder – you know the one where everyone got completely smashed?
Tony – which one? You got the Christmas, the spring, the pay day one, the before Easter one, the Easter one, the one after Easter fore no reason the...
Schroeder – yeah it was that one. Well I woke up next to someone in the main offices and ran out quickly. Then I noticed a few weeks ago I was getting a bit tubby so this morning I took a test
Tony – well are you?
Schroeder – I don’t know, I lost the pack with the instructions on
*just then a strange small shrivelled looking man walks threw the door… followed by yoda*
Mr. Snuggly – welcome home Hybrid and er the other bloke
Yoda – I am yoda *yoda walks up to snuggly’s duck* the force is strong in this one
*hybrid jumps up from his bar stool*
hybrid – the yoda?! Wow! I’ve seen all your movies sir!
Yoda – why thankyou
Hybrid – and if I wasn’t so short that I needed to take a step ladder to the shop to reach you videos on the top shelf I’d watch them everyday!
Yoda – top shelf? Oh you’ve got me confused with my twin brother toga, he stars in all the good adult movies
Hybrid – opps
Tony – anyway, what are you doing here in are humble work office?
Loki – you mean my pub
Tony – ok fine, loki’s pub
Yoda – I have a feeling that great danger is ahead
Tony – really
*Mr. Snuggly farts loudly*
hybrid – that’s incredible!
Yoda – no. Even greater danger *puts fingers in mouth and whistles. Samuel Jackson runs threw the doors on all fours with a piece of paper in his mouth and drops it infront of Tony. He then crawls into the corner*
Samuel Jackson – to slave the pig who deed I am, he said no but hill of monkeys from his back with jugglers
Tony – whats that?
Yoda – instructions
Tony – no that thing in the corner
Yoda- that’s samuel jackson. Poor thing, Barclays got their hands on him and he’s been like this ever since
Loki – what do the instructions say?
Tony – they says that after yoda leaves I will have to fight a battle against hybrids gnome worrior for the right to work in this bar as hybrid made him and then left him in the cupboard for weeks making his creation angry and wanting revenge. Oh and the instruction pack to the pregnancy test is in Schroeder’s coat
Yoda – come boy *Samuel Jackson runs to yoda’s side and they disappear in a puff of smoke*
Schroeder – hey he was right, the instructions are here. Just gotta pop to the loo
-----------------------
*ten minutes later in the bar a 2 foot gnome walks threw the doors*
gnome – are you the one they call Tony?
Tony – no, you can call me boss, some call me evil but most call me good looking *tony starts to laugh but stops when he notices no one else is*
Gnome – according to the script we must battle
Tony – really?
Gnome – yes, but I with you being so big and all that I don’t see how I’m gonna beat you
Tony – but I can’t fight to save my life
Gnome – nor me
Loki – I know, why don’t you have a pool match to settle this. There a table set over there
Tony – um I don’t know
Gnome – come on, it will be fun
*the pair walk to the table and in star wars style pull light sabers from their belts and use them as snooker ques*
fido dido – come on tony!
Hybrid – go gnomy
Schroeder (from the loos) – go Tony
*after ten minutes Tony manages to pot the first ball, the black. But before the gnome can celebrate Mr. Snuggly’s duck knocks a pint of beer off the side of the table onto the gnome*
gnome – nnnooooooooooo! I’m melting! *the group watch as the plastic foam shell and the dodgy electronics are melted by the cheap acidic German booze*
Mr. Snuggly – well done basil, give daddy a big kiss
loki – well done Tony
hybrid - I knew you could do it
*everyone looks at hybrid*
hybrid – well I did
Tony – hey look *tony picks up the documents containing the cure for cancer* we’re rich!
Fido dido – huh? How
Tony - We can sell this on the black market and get a fortune!
Loki – you mean your going to sell it?!
Tony – that’s what I said
*fifo dido leaps up from her stool and clamps a set of hand cuffs on Tony’s wrists*
tony – what the?
*fifo dido pulls out a police badge*
fido dido – I am placing you under arrest for trying to flog off stolen documents and working without a least on the chosen location of work. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not bring it up for evidence in a court of law. Ha! I’ve always wanted to say that!
Tony – and I would of gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling police!
*Tony is dragged out kicking and screaming*
--------------------
*Hybrid is siting down drinking a celebration beer of becoming the boss of special reserve when Schroeder runs in from the toilets crying*
loki – whats the matter?
Schroeder – I’m pregnant!
Loki – who’s the farther?
Schroeder – s-s-s snuggly! *Starts to cry even more*
Loki – when did this happen?
Schroeder – at that party just after Easter
Loki – what the one with no reason to it?
Schroeder – yeah. I slept with him that night
Loki – how could you?
Schroeder – well first he took off my bubble-bee outfit and then…
Loki – no I mean you couldn’t have
Schroeder – I woke up next to someone in the offices and Snuggly was the only on left in the building at the time so it must have been him! *crys louder*
Mr. Snuggly – don’t I get a say here
Everyone – no!
Loki – I mean you couldn’t have because we found snuggs locked in the cupboard under the stairs with Brad later that day
Mr. Snuggly – the horror, the horror! *Starts to shiver*
Schroeder - Then who else could it have been?
*hybrid grins evilly*
Schroeder –nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
------------------
*Schroeder wakes up screaming and sits strait up in her bed. A cold sweat runs down her face. She begins to start crying softly*
Schroeder – that was horrible! At least it’s over now
*Mr. Snuggly sits up and puts his arm around her*
Mr. Snuggly – shush baby, don’t worry. It was just a bad dream…
Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!
pop to the top
brad@specialreserve wrote:
> Lovely to see that I can go away on my hols for 2 weeks and not get
> forgotten. Yay for me!
and you are who excally?
> Lovely to see that I can go away on my hols for 2 weeks and not get
> forgotten. Yay for me!
and you are who excally?
thanks guys
"Yoda- that’s samuel jackson. Poor thing, Barclays got their hands on him and he’s been like this ever since"
Ha ha
Anyway, good post, some funny jokes
Ha ha
Anyway, good post, some funny jokes
Good post. Damn these things must take ages to write.
Loki fell asleep at SR towers while deep frying some snicker bars, which caused a horrific fire that set the place a light and burnt it to the ground. Everyone escaped but most of the stock was lost. It wouldn’t have been that bad because the insurance would of covered the damage costs but 7 days before Mr. Snuggly was put in charge of renewing it.
*Snuggly was walking down the street with the renewal letter in his hand. There was a corner shop followed by pub followed by the post office*
Mr. Snuggly – must post letter, must post letter, must post… ow! A pub! I’ll just go for a little drink and then…
*poor soul never made it to the post office, let alone home that night*
-------------------------------
*specail reserve has a new base, a corner of a bar at a secret location in England (which kinda of resembles moes tavern from the simpsons). The only things that survived the blaze were 27 copies of carmageddon 64 and hybrid values laptop (with a hard-drive space of 2 giga bytes, 2% cookies, 4% internet file, 66% German dungeon porn, 27% mystique pictures and 3% free).
We join our hero Tony as he decides who will win game a day*
Tony – eny meny miny moo...
Loki – what you doing Tony?
Tony – Loki, I though I fired you?
Loki – you did
*tony looks up*
Loki – I work here now
Tony – oh, good for you
Loki – hey Tony, where’s the rest of the crew?
Tony- out working
Loki – what?! Did you sack everyone and hire a whole new work force?
Tony – no, its just that we’re nearly bankrupt and can just about afford the line rental for the internet. So everyone has got second jobs to keep the forums going
*loki serves a costumer and then turns back to Tony*
Loki – so what are they all doing?
Tony – um, well brad busks on the streets and plays the panpipes, Snuggly works at a pet shop in the city center, Darkus is a, um, no wait, he hasn’t found one yet. Schroeder is a door to door toothbrush sales women and a new kiddy we’ve been given from the government, um, fido dido that’s it, she hands out leaflets or something like that.
Loki - the government?
Tony – yeah, she came in here with some guys in uniforms and they threw her at me. Then they said she was mine and I should not ask any questions.
Loki – you don’t think she’s some kind troublemaker do you?
Tony – I don’t know, but we need all the help we can get.
Loki – what’s hybrid doing?
Tony – don’t know. But for some reason he told me to turn to BBC 1 at 7 o’clock
Loki – is he a newsreader?
Tony – I don’t know
Loki – what about a presenter?
Tony – I don’t know!
Loki – or a…
Tony – I TOLD YOU I DON’T KNOW!
*Tony burst into tears*
Loki – huh? Easy there mate
Tony – I just can’t take it any more! *sob* first the business, then my salary, then my cars! *sob* my beautiful babies! My BMW, my porch, the monster trucks! *sob*
Loki – I didn’t know…
Tony – *sniff* you know what I drive now?
Loki - *wipes a tear from his eye* what?
Tony – a, a *sniff* a f, f…
Loki – let it out man
Tony – a f, f, ford, f, fiesta
*Loki also bursts out into tears and hands Tony a tissue before getting himself one. Schroeder and Mr Snuggly walk threw the door*
Schroeder – not again!
Loki - *sniff* what do you mean?
Schroeder – ever since he’s lost his cars and gone on tranquillisers he’s been going through these episodes
Loki – huh?
*Schroeder walks up and slaps Tony hard on his face. Tony stops crying and carries on with his work on the laptop*
Tony – thanks, I need that
-------------------------------
*5 minutes to 7 and the whole crew are crowded around the tv in the bar, all except for Mr. Snuggly and Hybrid*
Brad – where’s Snuggs?
Schroeder – in the corner
Fido Dido – what’s he doing there?
Schroeder – playing with his duck
Brad – his what?
Schroeder – his duck. He pinched it from his shop and now spends all his time playing with it
Brad – whats the little critter called?
Schroeder – Mr. Snuggly
Brad – no the duck
Schroeder – don’t know. Hay snuggs, whats your duck called?
Mr. Snuggly – basil
Brad – basil, that’s my mothers nam…
Everyone – shush!
*the tv is turned on*
Darkus – look, there he is
Tony – shut up you fool
Schroeder – yeah, that’s Ralph Harris. Animal hospital is just ending
*Darkus sinks into his seat in embarrassment*
------------------------
*on tv…*
Ralph – and on next weeks show we’ll be looking at a goose with a broken wing and a goatboy who was saved from deaths door by a friendly Samaritan. Bye for now!
(animal hospital music plays, waw waw waw waw waaaaaaaw waaaaaaaaw wwaaaawww )
voice over bloke on advert – and on BBC 2 in 10 minutes a documentary on the biker revaluation in the west country called big boys on bikes
Schroeder – doesn’t Brad have a subscription to a magazine along those lines?
Brad - *nervous cough* um, no…
voice over bloke – and now tomorrows world
*pictures of science stuff and naked babies swimming about on the screen*
presenter – hi and welcome to tomorrows world! Today we have a story on a brake through for cancer and sightings of a real alien, but first a man who has made an AI all by himself!
Hybrid (wearing a leather jacket and gap shades making him look pretty smooth) – hay there
Presenter – now tell us about this creation of yours
Hybrid – well I designed it by hand on my own over the last 3 years. It walks, talks and makes it own decisions
Presenter – how does it work
Hybrid – well I made some highly intelligent software stuff from bits and pieces lying around at work and put it into a plastic foam shell that moves with the help of hydraulics and vibrations
Loki – so that’s where my ferbie went!
Tony – and my jcb digger
Brad – and my vibrat… *everyone in the room stares at Brad* I mean… um… hey look everyone, he’s going to show it!
Presenter – can we see it?
Hybrid – yeah sure, you see I put it into the style of a garden gnome to make it seem friendly and welcomin…. Huh? *Reaches down under the desk* its gone?!
Presenter – pardon?
Hybrid – its vanished, I left it right here and now its just gone
Presenter – well, um… *puts finger on ear piece to get instructions* that’s ok, we’ll just move onto the next topic. We have documents here with the cure to cancer in them. yes that’s righ… *a bead of sweat runs down his face* there gone to! What are we going to do?!
*Tony turns of the tv*
tony – so hybrids failed again, big news. But we’ve got to look ahead. We’ve all been making progress. Now Schroeder, what have you been up to today?
Schroeder – trying to sell tooth brushes
Tony – well
Schroeder – well what?
Tony – did you get any money?
Schroeder – if I sold anything I wouldn’t have said trying would I?!
Tony – ok, ok. That’s alright, Snuggly how about you.
Mr. Snuggly – *looks up from his duck* what did you say
Tony – I said… whats the point, just forget it *tony slumps into his chair*
------------------------
*everyone is sitting around the bar watching Mr. Snuggly’s duck doing tricks. Then from out of nowhere the female toilet door swings open and Mr. Snuggly steps out*
Mr. Snuggly - wow it really does work!
Darkus – what the fu…
*the group turn around and look at snuggly standing by the girls loos and then turns to see him also sitting at the bar*
everyone – huh?
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how the hell?
Mr. Snuggly (by girls toilets) – oh sorry let me explain myself. I have traveled back in time through a wormhole in one of the cubicles
Everyone – wow
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how did I find it?
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – I just told you about it
Tony – I see
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – anyway I’ve gotta go back now, see ya
*everyone waves and stares with a confused look on their faces*
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – but before I go, Schroeder you left your pregnancy test on the floor in there. Ok bye now
*the second Mr. Snuggly goes in to he toilets*
Mr. Snuggly – cool I’m gonna try it out!
*Mr. Snuggly walks in and then a few seconds later walks out*
Mr. Snuggly – cool! Anyway Schroeder about this test thingy
*most of the SR crew are to gob-smacked by what’s happened in the last few minutes to even speak*
Tony – ha, and I thought I had issues!
Schroeder – well I um, I, well er, it seems that…
Loki – need a drink?
Schroeder – double vodka please
Loki – anyone else?
Brad – no, I gotta go now
Darkus – me too
*Brad and Darkus get up and leave hand in hand*
*Schroeder drinks the vodka in one gulp*
--------------------------
*1 and a half bottles of cheap vodka later…*
Schroeder – well you know after that party when we got drunk
Tony – which one?
Schroeder – you know the one where everyone got completely smashed?
Tony – which one? You got the Christmas, the spring, the pay day one, the before Easter one, the Easter one, the one after Easter fore no reason the...
Schroeder – yeah it was that one. Well I woke up next to someone in the main offices and ran out quickly. Then I noticed a few weeks ago I was getting a bit tubby so this morning I took a test
Tony – well are you?
Schroeder – I don’t know, I lost the pack with the instructions on
*just then a strange small shrivelled looking man walks threw the door… followed by yoda*
Mr. Snuggly – welcome home Hybrid and er the other bloke
Yoda – I am yoda *yoda walks up to snuggly’s duck* the force is strong in this one
*hybrid jumps up from his bar stool*
hybrid – the yoda?! Wow! I’ve seen all your movies sir!
Yoda – why thankyou
Hybrid – and if I wasn’t so short that I needed to take a step ladder to the shop to reach you videos on the top shelf I’d watch them everyday!
Yoda – top shelf? Oh you’ve got me confused with my twin brother toga, he stars in all the good adult movies
Hybrid – opps
Tony – anyway, what are you doing here in are humble work office?
Loki – you mean my pub
Tony – ok fine, loki’s pub
Yoda – I have a feeling that great danger is ahead
Tony – really
*Mr. Snuggly farts loudly*
hybrid – that’s incredible!
Yoda – no. Even greater danger *puts fingers in mouth and whistles. Samuel Jackson runs threw the doors on all fours with a piece of paper in his mouth and drops it infront of Tony. He then crawls into the corner*
Samuel Jackson – to slave the pig who deed I am, he said no but hill of monkeys from his back with jugglers
Tony – whats that?
Yoda – instructions
Tony – no that thing in the corner
Yoda- that’s samuel jackson. Poor thing, Barclays got their hands on him and he’s been like this ever since
Loki – what do the instructions say?
Tony – they says that after yoda leaves I will have to fight a battle against hybrids gnome worrior for the right to work in this bar as hybrid made him and then left him in the cupboard for weeks making his creation angry and wanting revenge. Oh and the instruction pack to the pregnancy test is in Schroeder’s coat
Yoda – come boy *Samuel Jackson runs to yoda’s side and they disappear in a puff of smoke*
Schroeder – hey he was right, the instructions are here. Just gotta pop to the loo
-----------------------
*ten minutes later in the bar a 2 foot gnome walks threw the doors*
gnome – are you the one they call Tony?
Tony – no, you can call me boss, some call me evil but most call me good looking *tony starts to laugh but stops when he notices no one else is*
Gnome – according to the script we must battle
Tony – really?
Gnome – yes, but I with you being so big and all that I don’t see how I’m gonna beat you
Tony – but I can’t fight to save my life
Gnome – nor me
Loki – I know, why don’t you have a pool match to settle this. There a table set over there
Tony – um I don’t know
Gnome – come on, it will be fun
*the pair walk to the table and in star wars style pull light sabers from their belts and use them as snooker ques*
fido dido – come on tony!
Hybrid – go gnomy
Schroeder (from the loos) – go Tony
*after ten minutes Tony manages to pot the first ball, the black. But before the gnome can celebrate Mr. Snuggly’s duck knocks a pint of beer off the side of the table onto the gnome*
gnome – nnnooooooooooo! I’m melting! *the group watch as the plastic foam shell and the dodgy electronics are melted by the cheap acidic German booze*
Mr. Snuggly – well done basil, give daddy a big kiss
loki – well done Tony
hybrid - I knew you could do it
*everyone looks at hybrid*
hybrid – well I did
Tony – hey look *tony picks up the documents containing the cure for cancer* we’re rich!
Fido dido – huh? How
Tony - We can sell this on the black market and get a fortune!
Loki – you mean your going to sell it?!
Tony – that’s what I said
*fifo dido leaps up from her stool and clamps a set of hand cuffs on Tony’s wrists*
tony – what the?
*fifo dido pulls out a police badge*
fido dido – I am placing you under arrest for trying to flog off stolen documents and working without a least on the chosen location of work. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not bring it up for evidence in a court of law. Ha! I’ve always wanted to say that!
Tony – and I would of gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling police!
*Tony is dragged out kicking and screaming*
--------------------
*Hybrid is siting down drinking a celebration beer of becoming the boss of special reserve when Schroeder runs in from the toilets crying*
loki – whats the matter?
Schroeder – I’m pregnant!
Loki – who’s the farther?
Schroeder – s-s-s snuggly! *Starts to cry even more*
Loki – when did this happen?
Schroeder – at that party just after Easter
Loki – what the one with no reason to it?
Schroeder – yeah. I slept with him that night
Loki – how could you?
Schroeder – well first he took off my bubble-bee outfit and then…
Loki – no I mean you couldn’t have
Schroeder – I woke up next to someone in the offices and Snuggly was the only on left in the building at the time so it must have been him! *crys louder*
Mr. Snuggly – don’t I get a say here
Everyone – no!
Loki – I mean you couldn’t have because we found snuggs locked in the cupboard under the stairs with Brad later that day
Mr. Snuggly – the horror, the horror! *Starts to shiver*
Schroeder - Then who else could it have been?
*hybrid grins evilly*
Schroeder –nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
------------------
*Schroeder wakes up screaming and sits strait up in her bed. A cold sweat runs down her face. She begins to start crying softly*
Schroeder – that was horrible! At least it’s over now
*Mr. Snuggly sits up and puts his arm around her*
Mr. Snuggly – shush baby, don’t worry. It was just a bad dream…
Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!
*Snuggly was walking down the street with the renewal letter in his hand. There was a corner shop followed by pub followed by the post office*
Mr. Snuggly – must post letter, must post letter, must post… ow! A pub! I’ll just go for a little drink and then…
*poor soul never made it to the post office, let alone home that night*
-------------------------------
*specail reserve has a new base, a corner of a bar at a secret location in England (which kinda of resembles moes tavern from the simpsons). The only things that survived the blaze were 27 copies of carmageddon 64 and hybrid values laptop (with a hard-drive space of 2 giga bytes, 2% cookies, 4% internet file, 66% German dungeon porn, 27% mystique pictures and 3% free).
We join our hero Tony as he decides who will win game a day*
Tony – eny meny miny moo...
Loki – what you doing Tony?
Tony – Loki, I though I fired you?
Loki – you did
*tony looks up*
Loki – I work here now
Tony – oh, good for you
Loki – hey Tony, where’s the rest of the crew?
Tony- out working
Loki – what?! Did you sack everyone and hire a whole new work force?
Tony – no, its just that we’re nearly bankrupt and can just about afford the line rental for the internet. So everyone has got second jobs to keep the forums going
*loki serves a costumer and then turns back to Tony*
Loki – so what are they all doing?
Tony – um, well brad busks on the streets and plays the panpipes, Snuggly works at a pet shop in the city center, Darkus is a, um, no wait, he hasn’t found one yet. Schroeder is a door to door toothbrush sales women and a new kiddy we’ve been given from the government, um, fido dido that’s it, she hands out leaflets or something like that.
Loki - the government?
Tony – yeah, she came in here with some guys in uniforms and they threw her at me. Then they said she was mine and I should not ask any questions.
Loki – you don’t think she’s some kind troublemaker do you?
Tony – I don’t know, but we need all the help we can get.
Loki – what’s hybrid doing?
Tony – don’t know. But for some reason he told me to turn to BBC 1 at 7 o’clock
Loki – is he a newsreader?
Tony – I don’t know
Loki – what about a presenter?
Tony – I don’t know!
Loki – or a…
Tony – I TOLD YOU I DON’T KNOW!
*Tony burst into tears*
Loki – huh? Easy there mate
Tony – I just can’t take it any more! *sob* first the business, then my salary, then my cars! *sob* my beautiful babies! My BMW, my porch, the monster trucks! *sob*
Loki – I didn’t know…
Tony – *sniff* you know what I drive now?
Loki - *wipes a tear from his eye* what?
Tony – a, a *sniff* a f, f…
Loki – let it out man
Tony – a f, f, ford, f, fiesta
*Loki also bursts out into tears and hands Tony a tissue before getting himself one. Schroeder and Mr Snuggly walk threw the door*
Schroeder – not again!
Loki - *sniff* what do you mean?
Schroeder – ever since he’s lost his cars and gone on tranquillisers he’s been going through these episodes
Loki – huh?
*Schroeder walks up and slaps Tony hard on his face. Tony stops crying and carries on with his work on the laptop*
Tony – thanks, I need that
-------------------------------
*5 minutes to 7 and the whole crew are crowded around the tv in the bar, all except for Mr. Snuggly and Hybrid*
Brad – where’s Snuggs?
Schroeder – in the corner
Fido Dido – what’s he doing there?
Schroeder – playing with his duck
Brad – his what?
Schroeder – his duck. He pinched it from his shop and now spends all his time playing with it
Brad – whats the little critter called?
Schroeder – Mr. Snuggly
Brad – no the duck
Schroeder – don’t know. Hay snuggs, whats your duck called?
Mr. Snuggly – basil
Brad – basil, that’s my mothers nam…
Everyone – shush!
*the tv is turned on*
Darkus – look, there he is
Tony – shut up you fool
Schroeder – yeah, that’s Ralph Harris. Animal hospital is just ending
*Darkus sinks into his seat in embarrassment*
------------------------
*on tv…*
Ralph – and on next weeks show we’ll be looking at a goose with a broken wing and a goatboy who was saved from deaths door by a friendly Samaritan. Bye for now!
(animal hospital music plays, waw waw waw waw waaaaaaaw waaaaaaaaw wwaaaawww )
voice over bloke on advert – and on BBC 2 in 10 minutes a documentary on the biker revaluation in the west country called big boys on bikes
Schroeder – doesn’t Brad have a subscription to a magazine along those lines?
Brad - *nervous cough* um, no…
voice over bloke – and now tomorrows world
*pictures of science stuff and naked babies swimming about on the screen*
presenter – hi and welcome to tomorrows world! Today we have a story on a brake through for cancer and sightings of a real alien, but first a man who has made an AI all by himself!
Hybrid (wearing a leather jacket and gap shades making him look pretty smooth) – hay there
Presenter – now tell us about this creation of yours
Hybrid – well I designed it by hand on my own over the last 3 years. It walks, talks and makes it own decisions
Presenter – how does it work
Hybrid – well I made some highly intelligent software stuff from bits and pieces lying around at work and put it into a plastic foam shell that moves with the help of hydraulics and vibrations
Loki – so that’s where my ferbie went!
Tony – and my jcb digger
Brad – and my vibrat… *everyone in the room stares at Brad* I mean… um… hey look everyone, he’s going to show it!
Presenter – can we see it?
Hybrid – yeah sure, you see I put it into the style of a garden gnome to make it seem friendly and welcomin…. Huh? *Reaches down under the desk* its gone?!
Presenter – pardon?
Hybrid – its vanished, I left it right here and now its just gone
Presenter – well, um… *puts finger on ear piece to get instructions* that’s ok, we’ll just move onto the next topic. We have documents here with the cure to cancer in them. yes that’s righ… *a bead of sweat runs down his face* there gone to! What are we going to do?!
*Tony turns of the tv*
tony – so hybrids failed again, big news. But we’ve got to look ahead. We’ve all been making progress. Now Schroeder, what have you been up to today?
Schroeder – trying to sell tooth brushes
Tony – well
Schroeder – well what?
Tony – did you get any money?
Schroeder – if I sold anything I wouldn’t have said trying would I?!
Tony – ok, ok. That’s alright, Snuggly how about you.
Mr. Snuggly – *looks up from his duck* what did you say
Tony – I said… whats the point, just forget it *tony slumps into his chair*
------------------------
*everyone is sitting around the bar watching Mr. Snuggly’s duck doing tricks. Then from out of nowhere the female toilet door swings open and Mr. Snuggly steps out*
Mr. Snuggly - wow it really does work!
Darkus – what the fu…
*the group turn around and look at snuggly standing by the girls loos and then turns to see him also sitting at the bar*
everyone – huh?
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how the hell?
Mr. Snuggly (by girls toilets) – oh sorry let me explain myself. I have traveled back in time through a wormhole in one of the cubicles
Everyone – wow
Mr. Snuggly (at bar) – how did I find it?
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – I just told you about it
Tony – I see
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – anyway I’ve gotta go back now, see ya
*everyone waves and stares with a confused look on their faces*
Mr. Snuggly (by loos) – but before I go, Schroeder you left your pregnancy test on the floor in there. Ok bye now
*the second Mr. Snuggly goes in to he toilets*
Mr. Snuggly – cool I’m gonna try it out!
*Mr. Snuggly walks in and then a few seconds later walks out*
Mr. Snuggly – cool! Anyway Schroeder about this test thingy
*most of the SR crew are to gob-smacked by what’s happened in the last few minutes to even speak*
Tony – ha, and I thought I had issues!
Schroeder – well I um, I, well er, it seems that…
Loki – need a drink?
Schroeder – double vodka please
Loki – anyone else?
Brad – no, I gotta go now
Darkus – me too
*Brad and Darkus get up and leave hand in hand*
*Schroeder drinks the vodka in one gulp*
--------------------------
*1 and a half bottles of cheap vodka later…*
Schroeder – well you know after that party when we got drunk
Tony – which one?
Schroeder – you know the one where everyone got completely smashed?
Tony – which one? You got the Christmas, the spring, the pay day one, the before Easter one, the Easter one, the one after Easter fore no reason the...
Schroeder – yeah it was that one. Well I woke up next to someone in the main offices and ran out quickly. Then I noticed a few weeks ago I was getting a bit tubby so this morning I took a test
Tony – well are you?
Schroeder – I don’t know, I lost the pack with the instructions on
*just then a strange small shrivelled looking man walks threw the door… followed by yoda*
Mr. Snuggly – welcome home Hybrid and er the other bloke
Yoda – I am yoda *yoda walks up to snuggly’s duck* the force is strong in this one
*hybrid jumps up from his bar stool*
hybrid – the yoda?! Wow! I’ve seen all your movies sir!
Yoda – why thankyou
Hybrid – and if I wasn’t so short that I needed to take a step ladder to the shop to reach you videos on the top shelf I’d watch them everyday!
Yoda – top shelf? Oh you’ve got me confused with my twin brother toga, he stars in all the good adult movies
Hybrid – opps
Tony – anyway, what are you doing here in are humble work office?
Loki – you mean my pub
Tony – ok fine, loki’s pub
Yoda – I have a feeling that great danger is ahead
Tony – really
*Mr. Snuggly farts loudly*
hybrid – that’s incredible!
Yoda – no. Even greater danger *puts fingers in mouth and whistles. Samuel Jackson runs threw the doors on all fours with a piece of paper in his mouth and drops it infront of Tony. He then crawls into the corner*
Samuel Jackson – to slave the pig who deed I am, he said no but hill of monkeys from his back with jugglers
Tony – whats that?
Yoda – instructions
Tony – no that thing in the corner
Yoda- that’s samuel jackson. Poor thing, Barclays got their hands on him and he’s been like this ever since
Loki – what do the instructions say?
Tony – they says that after yoda leaves I will have to fight a battle against hybrids gnome worrior for the right to work in this bar as hybrid made him and then left him in the cupboard for weeks making his creation angry and wanting revenge. Oh and the instruction pack to the pregnancy test is in Schroeder’s coat
Yoda – come boy *Samuel Jackson runs to yoda’s side and they disappear in a puff of smoke*
Schroeder – hey he was right, the instructions are here. Just gotta pop to the loo
-----------------------
*ten minutes later in the bar a 2 foot gnome walks threw the doors*
gnome – are you the one they call Tony?
Tony – no, you can call me boss, some call me evil but most call me good looking *tony starts to laugh but stops when he notices no one else is*
Gnome – according to the script we must battle
Tony – really?
Gnome – yes, but I with you being so big and all that I don’t see how I’m gonna beat you
Tony – but I can’t fight to save my life
Gnome – nor me
Loki – I know, why don’t you have a pool match to settle this. There a table set over there
Tony – um I don’t know
Gnome – come on, it will be fun
*the pair walk to the table and in star wars style pull light sabers from their belts and use them as snooker ques*
fido dido – come on tony!
Hybrid – go gnomy
Schroeder (from the loos) – go Tony
*after ten minutes Tony manages to pot the first ball, the black. But before the gnome can celebrate Mr. Snuggly’s duck knocks a pint of beer off the side of the table onto the gnome*
gnome – nnnooooooooooo! I’m melting! *the group watch as the plastic foam shell and the dodgy electronics are melted by the cheap acidic German booze*
Mr. Snuggly – well done basil, give daddy a big kiss
loki – well done Tony
hybrid - I knew you could do it
*everyone looks at hybrid*
hybrid – well I did
Tony – hey look *tony picks up the documents containing the cure for cancer* we’re rich!
Fido dido – huh? How
Tony - We can sell this on the black market and get a fortune!
Loki – you mean your going to sell it?!
Tony – that’s what I said
*fifo dido leaps up from her stool and clamps a set of hand cuffs on Tony’s wrists*
tony – what the?
*fifo dido pulls out a police badge*
fido dido – I am placing you under arrest for trying to flog off stolen documents and working without a least on the chosen location of work. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not bring it up for evidence in a court of law. Ha! I’ve always wanted to say that!
Tony – and I would of gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling police!
*Tony is dragged out kicking and screaming*
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*Hybrid is siting down drinking a celebration beer of becoming the boss of special reserve when Schroeder runs in from the toilets crying*
loki – whats the matter?
Schroeder – I’m pregnant!
Loki – who’s the farther?
Schroeder – s-s-s snuggly! *Starts to cry even more*
Loki – when did this happen?
Schroeder – at that party just after Easter
Loki – what the one with no reason to it?
Schroeder – yeah. I slept with him that night
Loki – how could you?
Schroeder – well first he took off my bubble-bee outfit and then…
Loki – no I mean you couldn’t have
Schroeder – I woke up next to someone in the offices and Snuggly was the only on left in the building at the time so it must have been him! *crys louder*
Mr. Snuggly – don’t I get a say here
Everyone – no!
Loki – I mean you couldn’t have because we found snuggs locked in the cupboard under the stairs with Brad later that day
Mr. Snuggly – the horror, the horror! *Starts to shiver*
Schroeder - Then who else could it have been?
*hybrid grins evilly*
Schroeder –nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
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*Schroeder wakes up screaming and sits strait up in her bed. A cold sweat runs down her face. She begins to start crying softly*
Schroeder – that was horrible! At least it’s over now
*Mr. Snuggly sits up and puts his arm around her*
Mr. Snuggly – shush baby, don’t worry. It was just a bad dream…
Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!