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TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH:
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up,
you
need
it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving
it down.
ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not
a colour
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to
act
like
soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask
us. We refuse to
answer.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more
attractive than
short
hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is
that married women
always
cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
quests to see if we
can
find
the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you
don't
want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to
discuss
such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to
think of it that
way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine.
Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!
No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
Anniversaries on
the
calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to
miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you
think we'd be any
good
at
choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what
we
do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless
it's Bruce Lee or
some
war
flick where it doesn't really matter what the ####
they're saying
anyway.)
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take
the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. All
comments
become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways
makes
you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how
to do something,
but
not
both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during
commercials.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will
act like
nothing's
wrong.
We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch
tonight,
but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping!
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up,
you
need
it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving
it down.
ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not
a colour
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to
act
like
soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask
us. We refuse to
answer.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more
attractive than
short
hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is
that married women
always
cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
quests to see if we
can
find
the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you
don't
want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to
discuss
such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or
monster trucks.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to
think of it that
way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine.
Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!
No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
Anniversaries on
the
calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to
miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you
think we'd be any
good
at
choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what
we
do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless
it's Bruce Lee or
some
war
flick where it doesn't really matter what the ####
they're saying
anyway.)
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take
the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. All
comments
become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways
makes
you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how
to do something,
but
not
both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during
commercials.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will
act like
nothing's
wrong.
We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch
tonight,
but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping!
Page:
It's like u read my mind!
To Men Everywhere...
TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpower system.
1. They get hot when you turn them on, an that's the only time you have their attention
:p
Bimbo
TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpower system.
1. They get hot when you turn them on, an that's the only time you have their attention
:p
Bimbo
I'm off to Florida tomorrow until 21st August. Its gonna be a long day of travelling tomorrow. What I wouldn't give to be able to post on the forums for the whole way cause I'm already dreading the hours of flying. Not scared of flying or anything, just a long boring journey to go through. ;-))
The fact its a connecting flight which will add like another 6 hours to the journey isn't helping things. Oh well, it'll be worth it once I'm with my girlfriend again and hopefully I'll at least get on here a few times. ;-))
The going to Florida part is great - its the sitting for 15 hours like a bloody battery hen thats doing my head in. Watch me get screaming kids sat behind me for the whole trip too. If they start kicking the back of my chair I'll recline it right back and crush em - little punks !
Anyway, yay - I'm going to Florida. ;-)
The fact its a connecting flight which will add like another 6 hours to the journey isn't helping things. Oh well, it'll be worth it once I'm with my girlfriend again and hopefully I'll at least get on here a few times. ;-))
The going to Florida part is great - its the sitting for 15 hours like a bloody battery hen thats doing my head in. Watch me get screaming kids sat behind me for the whole trip too. If they start kicking the back of my chair I'll recline it right back and crush em - little punks !
Anyway, yay - I'm going to Florida. ;-)
Cheers then Savatt. I got a good chuckle out of it so thats ok :D
Yeah its a joke I passed on cause I thought you lot would appreciate it. Not done as a GAD attempt. :-)
I've actually had the joke before and it was more revolved around the English way of things. I could have re-written it but I knew there wouldn't be too many people that would have problems seeing the points even if it was kept as an American viewpoint. ;-)
I got a chuckle out of it so I thought I'd share it with everyone. :-)
I've actually had the joke before and it was more revolved around the English way of things. I could have re-written it but I knew there wouldn't be too many people that would have problems seeing the points even if it was kept as an American viewpoint. ;-)
I got a chuckle out of it so I thought I'd share it with everyone. :-)
CDouch wrote:
> Sorry if you did actualy write it, it just looked a bit suspicious is
> all.
> By the way I dont mean to cause any offence by this, I was just
> wondering...
I kind of agree with your idea of this being copied. For example:
"solving it. That's what
we
do."
Why is the structure of the post like this?
> Sorry if you did actualy write it, it just looked a bit suspicious is
> all.
> By the way I dont mean to cause any offence by this, I was just
> wondering...
I kind of agree with your idea of this being copied. For example:
"solving it. That's what
we
do."
Why is the structure of the post like this?
Sorry if you did actualy write it, it just looked a bit suspicious is all.
By the way I dont mean to cause any offence by this, I was just wondering...
By the way I dont mean to cause any offence by this, I was just wondering...
Um just wondering but did you really write that?
I mean Sunday = Sports - isn't that kind of a more American thing?
I mean Sunday = Sports - isn't that kind of a more American thing?
So right.It is hard peeing standing up.And close the dam toilet-seat if it is closed!You do not here us bickering when you leave it down!And I love sleeping on the coach.You can always watch TV.
Feel that GAD breathing down your neck!
Feel that GAD breathing down your neck!
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