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1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." - This is, of course, how Hemingway died. They made up that other story because it was more macho.
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." - (it's only a suggestion)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." - It should add ..... "oops"
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." - Strangely enough, that is actually a rarity in the UK. Most things remain room temperature despite their best efforts to refrigerate or cook them.
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". I always have told my kids: Children's Cough Medicine and Lathes don't mix. And I won't even talk about the time when my nephew was three. He went on a Cough Medicine Binge and totaled the Buick.
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." - I gave out eleven bucks for this stuff at 7-Eleven, and they're not even sure?
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." - Yeah, now that you bring it up, I've always wondered what the other choices are.
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." - Don't ask. Let's just say that Bangkok is the only place where the other use is legal.
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." - Actually, this one isn't stupid! If you weren't aware, a peanut is not a nut, despite its name. So if you advertise that a can contains peanuts and you pad it out with cheap nuts of some kind, you have to tell people. The label is still funny, though.
13. On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." - well duh
14. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." - I believe this clearly establishes my case about the relationship between mental disorder and ABBA music.
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." - (it's only a suggestion)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." - It should add ..... "oops"
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." - Strangely enough, that is actually a rarity in the UK. Most things remain room temperature despite their best efforts to refrigerate or cook them.
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". I always have told my kids: Children's Cough Medicine and Lathes don't mix. And I won't even talk about the time when my nephew was three. He went on a Cough Medicine Binge and totaled the Buick.
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." - I gave out eleven bucks for this stuff at 7-Eleven, and they're not even sure?
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." - Yeah, now that you bring it up, I've always wondered what the other choices are.
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." - Don't ask. Let's just say that Bangkok is the only place where the other use is legal.
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." - Actually, this one isn't stupid! If you weren't aware, a peanut is not a nut, despite its name. So if you advertise that a can contains peanuts and you pad it out with cheap nuts of some kind, you have to tell people. The label is still funny, though.
13. On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." - well duh
14. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." - I believe this clearly establishes my case about the relationship between mental disorder and ABBA music.
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I saw on a hairdryer:
" Do not use in shower "
Silly World
" Do not use in shower "
Silly World
On a pair of trousers I once bought...
'Keep children away from fire'
'Keep children away from fire'
Goatboy wrote:
> As long as I'm the giver I can live with that.
------
That. Is. Disgusting
Though not as sick as some of the stuff you say in one of my spoofs
> As long as I'm the giver I can live with that.
------
That. Is. Disgusting
Though not as sick as some of the stuff you say in one of my spoofs
*sob* can i stop reading now
¦ )
¦ )
Oh no, you have to play it both ways, don't be selfish!
As long as I'm the giver I can live with that.
I am hot, provided you like a bit of give and take...
You sound hot
Rosalind wrote:
> Oh yeah and I AM A GIRL so there!
That's OK, because I'm actually a deformed hermaphrodite working under cover for the CIA browsing chat rooms for internation terrorists.
You do believe me don't you?
> Oh yeah and I AM A GIRL so there!
That's OK, because I'm actually a deformed hermaphrodite working under cover for the CIA browsing chat rooms for internation terrorists.
You do believe me don't you?
On matchboxes, best advice ever
"Keep in a dry place and away from children"
I live my life to that motto
"Keep in a dry place and away from children"
I live my life to that motto
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