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The roads we take...
What if? Eh? What if... What if we never stopped ourselves? Could we live with it then?
Instead of the nights that we spent awake thinking about what could have happened... we thought about what did? We thought about what we had done... what we had become, instead of what we could become, what we were becoming...
You think you'd still be here? Not me. Not me. It was hard enough when I had come close... if I had done it? Nothing would have stopped me. Nothing. Christ, not much could stop me even when I hadn't done it.
But that was then, and this is now. I think about what I've achieved... have I changed peoples lives? Would the world be that much different if I wasn't here?
I don't know. But, you know, maybe I'll stop someone from slipping again. Maybe I'll be able to fix a car for someone. Kiss them, to make them feel better. Anything. Protect someone, help someone, save someone. And that's why my life is important to me. I'm not going to let one idiot stop me from being the person I am. Let one failure inspire a triumph that you can be proud of.
Because, you know... how many people can seriously say that in the time they've had so far, they've achieved as much as they could? If you died today, would you be happy with the life you'd led? Do you think you're ready?
Because if you understand death, a wise, albeit dying, man once said, then you will understand life. That's not a clever phrase to make him stand above others... think about it. Don't cast it away because it sounds cool, don't quote it because you'll sound intelligent, tell people about it because, that's the way it is. If you realise, the next time you can't be bothered, or you're too afraid, or you can't find the courage, that you are in fact going to be dead one day. Yup. One day, you're going to look back, and wonder why the hell you didn't go on. With the last breaths you have, you'll be thinking why, just why, you didn't bother asking that girl out. Why you didn't bother trying that -extra- bit harder to get that job. Why you ignored the boy that needed help because -you- were irritated. And you'll realise how utterly, utterly selfish you are. And you'll realise how pathetically lazy, and ungrateful you were. And you'll lie back, and you'll close your eyes, and you will die redeemed.
Sure. That's it. You can work everything out when you need to. When the last few moments tick away, that's when you can discover that there's much of this world you haven't seen. And you're never going to be able to. Because you were lazy. Ungrateful. You took life for granted, until it was taken away.
Another wise man said, perhaps anyway, that it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.
I guess, for me, at least... it was the regret that I nearly did something, that drove me down, that opened my eyes, and has now made me so very grateful. Because you know, there are much more important things in life than wants. There are needs. Needs that you don't even realise.
You need to be out in the open air. You need to be able to see across the lands, fly planes above the sky, smile once, or twice. Remember all the things you are scared of? Won't go in the water because it's cold? You need to jump in. Jump right in. You'll thank me one day.
It's strange. You need to be suicidal to know what it's like to live. You need to live in fear to know what it's like to be happy, and you need to hate, to know what it's like to love. And the longer you live in fear, the longer you refuse to let yourself go, the more rewarding it'll be. Sure, hold back, but don't hold long. Because the longer you hold, the harder you'll need to be kicked off your chair. And the drop may kill you.
Yeah. It's nice to be alive again... not that I can remember ever being alive before... I don't feel high anymore, I've settled. It's good. Hell, it's great. I can get knocked down, but I can pull myself back up again. I've accepted who I am, not who I was. I've come through a lot to be me, and it's only the end result that matters.
Do have the strange side-effects, but they're like brothers to me. Sure, I'm crazy, but I can admit it. The odd nightmare, well, I've had one in the past two years. And they're fantastic to look back on.
The dreams are better. I'm not really sure -how- I managed to get such a powerful visual imagination, but it does have it's uses.
Because, sure, I have a complex mind, but I have a simple heart really. The little things in life make me so happy. Friendship is important to me, being able to see, to taste, to hear, to touch, to smell, to breathe. Sure, can't say I'm constantly grateful of it, but there's nothing like the experiences you get from them. :0)
I've ridden horses. I know what it's like to gallop across a beach, watching the sunset over a crisp calm blue and green ocean... not a care in the world, bar from the beautiful experience of seeing life for another day.
Because that's all life is. Another day. :0) Things change, things come, things go, things stay, and through it all, we'll always be us. We'll always be able to chase our dreams if we really tried... we'll always be able to visit our past, visit our future, visit anything we wanted. And breathe it all in.
Because people in general make one very, very big mistake.
People think if you can imagine it, then you'll know what it'll be like. Hell no. Hell no... Sure. Go on. Imagine now what it'll be like to ski off a cliff... imagine what it'd be like to dive underwater, and to get caught in a current that drags you across the seabed... imagine what'll be like to skydive... And I promise you, if you've never done those things, and even if you have, you'll never, ever be able to truly imagine it. There are things in life that just -need- to be experienced. We -need- to be scared. Because I've listened to the quotes, and I've listened to the wise men, and they're all saying the same thing.
To truly live, we have to nearly kill ourselves until the day we die. If we must live in fear, then we must face the fear. Hell, I'm not saying be suicidal, I'm saying stop stopping yourself. And good luck to you.
Why am I saying this? Maybe it's because I can't do much and it gets to me. Maybe I can see, because I'm unable to do the things that others can, so easily.
Or maybe, and much more truthfully, it's because I am happy. I'm happy, because yesterday I went swimming in the sea. Yesterday I dived from rocks into a clear blue sea. And yesterday I spent the day with my friends, and we just talked and laughed and joked and played together. Not once did alcohol touch my lips, not once did I have sex, not once did I smoke or take drugs. I just did some things I don't often do. I don't smoke because I realise that's an escape. It does not add to your life, no matter what the chemicals tell you. Drink does not make you free. Drugs enhance your mind, sure, but they're nothing compared to real life, once you find it.
And, as always, not many people will read this. It doesn't bother me that much at all... I just wanted to write how I was feeling. It does bother me that there are so many people that refuse to believe this... well, I refused to once. I'd try and find something... but I dunno. Something always stopped me. I'd have started smoking if it wasn't for my Grampa, I'd have started drinking if it wasn't for my swallowing problem, I'd have took drugs if it wasn't for all the fear put into it.
So, luckly, fear stopped me, and now fears helped me, and fear has allowed me to see a lot more clearly. In the past week, I've felt what it's like to fly. In the past week, I've never been so scared in my life. In the past week, I've never been so happy. In the past week, I've thought I was going to die, and in the past week, I've fallen deeper in love. Thousands of emotions that I've experienced, some negative, some positive, all fantastic. I've never felt so alive, and I want more.
And yet I'm one person. I'm just a single little happy person that's beginning to discover what life really is. And three weeks or so ago, it was the closest I've ever come to killing myself. It wasn't for attention, it was simply because I didn't think there was much more I could do in life.
How wrong was I.
What if? Eh? What if... What if we never stopped ourselves? Could we live with it then?
Instead of the nights that we spent awake thinking about what could have happened... we thought about what did? We thought about what we had done... what we had become, instead of what we could become, what we were becoming...
You think you'd still be here? Not me. Not me. It was hard enough when I had come close... if I had done it? Nothing would have stopped me. Nothing. Christ, not much could stop me even when I hadn't done it.
But that was then, and this is now. I think about what I've achieved... have I changed peoples lives? Would the world be that much different if I wasn't here?
I don't know. But, you know, maybe I'll stop someone from slipping again. Maybe I'll be able to fix a car for someone. Kiss them, to make them feel better. Anything. Protect someone, help someone, save someone. And that's why my life is important to me. I'm not going to let one idiot stop me from being the person I am. Let one failure inspire a triumph that you can be proud of.
Because, you know... how many people can seriously say that in the time they've had so far, they've achieved as much as they could? If you died today, would you be happy with the life you'd led? Do you think you're ready?
Because if you understand death, a wise, albeit dying, man once said, then you will understand life. That's not a clever phrase to make him stand above others... think about it. Don't cast it away because it sounds cool, don't quote it because you'll sound intelligent, tell people about it because, that's the way it is. If you realise, the next time you can't be bothered, or you're too afraid, or you can't find the courage, that you are in fact going to be dead one day. Yup. One day, you're going to look back, and wonder why the hell you didn't go on. With the last breaths you have, you'll be thinking why, just why, you didn't bother asking that girl out. Why you didn't bother trying that -extra- bit harder to get that job. Why you ignored the boy that needed help because -you- were irritated. And you'll realise how utterly, utterly selfish you are. And you'll realise how pathetically lazy, and ungrateful you were. And you'll lie back, and you'll close your eyes, and you will die redeemed.
Sure. That's it. You can work everything out when you need to. When the last few moments tick away, that's when you can discover that there's much of this world you haven't seen. And you're never going to be able to. Because you were lazy. Ungrateful. You took life for granted, until it was taken away.
Another wise man said, perhaps anyway, that it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.
I guess, for me, at least... it was the regret that I nearly did something, that drove me down, that opened my eyes, and has now made me so very grateful. Because you know, there are much more important things in life than wants. There are needs. Needs that you don't even realise.
You need to be out in the open air. You need to be able to see across the lands, fly planes above the sky, smile once, or twice. Remember all the things you are scared of? Won't go in the water because it's cold? You need to jump in. Jump right in. You'll thank me one day.
It's strange. You need to be suicidal to know what it's like to live. You need to live in fear to know what it's like to be happy, and you need to hate, to know what it's like to love. And the longer you live in fear, the longer you refuse to let yourself go, the more rewarding it'll be. Sure, hold back, but don't hold long. Because the longer you hold, the harder you'll need to be kicked off your chair. And the drop may kill you.
Yeah. It's nice to be alive again... not that I can remember ever being alive before... I don't feel high anymore, I've settled. It's good. Hell, it's great. I can get knocked down, but I can pull myself back up again. I've accepted who I am, not who I was. I've come through a lot to be me, and it's only the end result that matters.
Do have the strange side-effects, but they're like brothers to me. Sure, I'm crazy, but I can admit it. The odd nightmare, well, I've had one in the past two years. And they're fantastic to look back on.
The dreams are better. I'm not really sure -how- I managed to get such a powerful visual imagination, but it does have it's uses.
Because, sure, I have a complex mind, but I have a simple heart really. The little things in life make me so happy. Friendship is important to me, being able to see, to taste, to hear, to touch, to smell, to breathe. Sure, can't say I'm constantly grateful of it, but there's nothing like the experiences you get from them. :0)
I've ridden horses. I know what it's like to gallop across a beach, watching the sunset over a crisp calm blue and green ocean... not a care in the world, bar from the beautiful experience of seeing life for another day.
Because that's all life is. Another day. :0) Things change, things come, things go, things stay, and through it all, we'll always be us. We'll always be able to chase our dreams if we really tried... we'll always be able to visit our past, visit our future, visit anything we wanted. And breathe it all in.
Because people in general make one very, very big mistake.
People think if you can imagine it, then you'll know what it'll be like. Hell no. Hell no... Sure. Go on. Imagine now what it'll be like to ski off a cliff... imagine what it'd be like to dive underwater, and to get caught in a current that drags you across the seabed... imagine what'll be like to skydive... And I promise you, if you've never done those things, and even if you have, you'll never, ever be able to truly imagine it. There are things in life that just -need- to be experienced. We -need- to be scared. Because I've listened to the quotes, and I've listened to the wise men, and they're all saying the same thing.
To truly live, we have to nearly kill ourselves until the day we die. If we must live in fear, then we must face the fear. Hell, I'm not saying be suicidal, I'm saying stop stopping yourself. And good luck to you.
Why am I saying this? Maybe it's because I can't do much and it gets to me. Maybe I can see, because I'm unable to do the things that others can, so easily.
Or maybe, and much more truthfully, it's because I am happy. I'm happy, because yesterday I went swimming in the sea. Yesterday I dived from rocks into a clear blue sea. And yesterday I spent the day with my friends, and we just talked and laughed and joked and played together. Not once did alcohol touch my lips, not once did I have sex, not once did I smoke or take drugs. I just did some things I don't often do. I don't smoke because I realise that's an escape. It does not add to your life, no matter what the chemicals tell you. Drink does not make you free. Drugs enhance your mind, sure, but they're nothing compared to real life, once you find it.
And, as always, not many people will read this. It doesn't bother me that much at all... I just wanted to write how I was feeling. It does bother me that there are so many people that refuse to believe this... well, I refused to once. I'd try and find something... but I dunno. Something always stopped me. I'd have started smoking if it wasn't for my Grampa, I'd have started drinking if it wasn't for my swallowing problem, I'd have took drugs if it wasn't for all the fear put into it.
So, luckly, fear stopped me, and now fears helped me, and fear has allowed me to see a lot more clearly. In the past week, I've felt what it's like to fly. In the past week, I've never been so scared in my life. In the past week, I've never been so happy. In the past week, I've thought I was going to die, and in the past week, I've fallen deeper in love. Thousands of emotions that I've experienced, some negative, some positive, all fantastic. I've never felt so alive, and I want more.
And yet I'm one person. I'm just a single little happy person that's beginning to discover what life really is. And three weeks or so ago, it was the closest I've ever come to killing myself. It wasn't for attention, it was simply because I didn't think there was much more I could do in life.
How wrong was I.
Good post.
Natuarally, I can't really debate this, but I thought I better say something in reply.
Natuarally, I can't really debate this, but I thought I better say something in reply.
Or, if your pessimistic, look at life this way.
"The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train"
:D
"The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train"
:D
Hey Grix, that was good to read.
I'm happy today, because I tried. Whether anything will come of it doesn't matter at the moment, because I tried to do something, that in the past I would have let go.
?>?
It's easy to draw analogies to things, but I was thinking the other day, or it may well have been this morning, time's a funny thing, that you could draw analogies between life and a game of football.
If you don't commit men forward, you won't score goals, and if you don't score goals, you'll never win. Yeah you might let in a few goals pushing forward, but surely it's better to go for it and be defeated that getting a 0-0 draw that puts you out of the competition on the away goals rule. And just because you're 3-0 down at the end of the first half, it doesn't mean that you can't turn things around. Likewise, being 3-0 up doesn't mean you can sit back, or it could still all slip away from you...
##Alternatively:
"Life is a motorway
All of the cars go 'beep, beep beep'
and all of the passengers are fast asleep."##
I'm happy today, because I tried. Whether anything will come of it doesn't matter at the moment, because I tried to do something, that in the past I would have let go.
?>?
It's easy to draw analogies to things, but I was thinking the other day, or it may well have been this morning, time's a funny thing, that you could draw analogies between life and a game of football.
If you don't commit men forward, you won't score goals, and if you don't score goals, you'll never win. Yeah you might let in a few goals pushing forward, but surely it's better to go for it and be defeated that getting a 0-0 draw that puts you out of the competition on the away goals rule. And just because you're 3-0 down at the end of the first half, it doesn't mean that you can't turn things around. Likewise, being 3-0 up doesn't mean you can sit back, or it could still all slip away from you...
##Alternatively:
"Life is a motorway
All of the cars go 'beep, beep beep'
and all of the passengers are fast asleep."##
pah, I was going to write something like this today, albeit in my own style. I won't bother now.
*huffs loudly and goes back to work*
*huffs loudly and goes back to work*
That was great. Made me feel better.
The roads we take...
What if? Eh? What if... What if we never stopped ourselves? Could we live with it then?
Instead of the nights that we spent awake thinking about what could have happened... we thought about what did? We thought about what we had done... what we had become, instead of what we could become, what we were becoming...
You think you'd still be here? Not me. Not me. It was hard enough when I had come close... if I had done it? Nothing would have stopped me. Nothing. Christ, not much could stop me even when I hadn't done it.
But that was then, and this is now. I think about what I've achieved... have I changed peoples lives? Would the world be that much different if I wasn't here?
I don't know. But, you know, maybe I'll stop someone from slipping again. Maybe I'll be able to fix a car for someone. Kiss them, to make them feel better. Anything. Protect someone, help someone, save someone. And that's why my life is important to me. I'm not going to let one idiot stop me from being the person I am. Let one failure inspire a triumph that you can be proud of.
Because, you know... how many people can seriously say that in the time they've had so far, they've achieved as much as they could? If you died today, would you be happy with the life you'd led? Do you think you're ready?
Because if you understand death, a wise, albeit dying, man once said, then you will understand life. That's not a clever phrase to make him stand above others... think about it. Don't cast it away because it sounds cool, don't quote it because you'll sound intelligent, tell people about it because, that's the way it is. If you realise, the next time you can't be bothered, or you're too afraid, or you can't find the courage, that you are in fact going to be dead one day. Yup. One day, you're going to look back, and wonder why the hell you didn't go on. With the last breaths you have, you'll be thinking why, just why, you didn't bother asking that girl out. Why you didn't bother trying that -extra- bit harder to get that job. Why you ignored the boy that needed help because -you- were irritated. And you'll realise how utterly, utterly selfish you are. And you'll realise how pathetically lazy, and ungrateful you were. And you'll lie back, and you'll close your eyes, and you will die redeemed.
Sure. That's it. You can work everything out when you need to. When the last few moments tick away, that's when you can discover that there's much of this world you haven't seen. And you're never going to be able to. Because you were lazy. Ungrateful. You took life for granted, until it was taken away.
Another wise man said, perhaps anyway, that it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.
I guess, for me, at least... it was the regret that I nearly did something, that drove me down, that opened my eyes, and has now made me so very grateful. Because you know, there are much more important things in life than wants. There are needs. Needs that you don't even realise.
You need to be out in the open air. You need to be able to see across the lands, fly planes above the sky, smile once, or twice. Remember all the things you are scared of? Won't go in the water because it's cold? You need to jump in. Jump right in. You'll thank me one day.
It's strange. You need to be suicidal to know what it's like to live. You need to live in fear to know what it's like to be happy, and you need to hate, to know what it's like to love. And the longer you live in fear, the longer you refuse to let yourself go, the more rewarding it'll be. Sure, hold back, but don't hold long. Because the longer you hold, the harder you'll need to be kicked off your chair. And the drop may kill you.
Yeah. It's nice to be alive again... not that I can remember ever being alive before... I don't feel high anymore, I've settled. It's good. Hell, it's great. I can get knocked down, but I can pull myself back up again. I've accepted who I am, not who I was. I've come through a lot to be me, and it's only the end result that matters.
Do have the strange side-effects, but they're like brothers to me. Sure, I'm crazy, but I can admit it. The odd nightmare, well, I've had one in the past two years. And they're fantastic to look back on.
The dreams are better. I'm not really sure -how- I managed to get such a powerful visual imagination, but it does have it's uses.
Because, sure, I have a complex mind, but I have a simple heart really. The little things in life make me so happy. Friendship is important to me, being able to see, to taste, to hear, to touch, to smell, to breathe. Sure, can't say I'm constantly grateful of it, but there's nothing like the experiences you get from them. :0)
I've ridden horses. I know what it's like to gallop across a beach, watching the sunset over a crisp calm blue and green ocean... not a care in the world, bar from the beautiful experience of seeing life for another day.
Because that's all life is. Another day. :0) Things change, things come, things go, things stay, and through it all, we'll always be us. We'll always be able to chase our dreams if we really tried... we'll always be able to visit our past, visit our future, visit anything we wanted. And breathe it all in.
Because people in general make one very, very big mistake.
People think if you can imagine it, then you'll know what it'll be like. Hell no. Hell no... Sure. Go on. Imagine now what it'll be like to ski off a cliff... imagine what it'd be like to dive underwater, and to get caught in a current that drags you across the seabed... imagine what'll be like to skydive... And I promise you, if you've never done those things, and even if you have, you'll never, ever be able to truly imagine it. There are things in life that just -need- to be experienced. We -need- to be scared. Because I've listened to the quotes, and I've listened to the wise men, and they're all saying the same thing.
To truly live, we have to nearly kill ourselves until the day we die. If we must live in fear, then we must face the fear. Hell, I'm not saying be suicidal, I'm saying stop stopping yourself. And good luck to you.
Why am I saying this? Maybe it's because I can't do much and it gets to me. Maybe I can see, because I'm unable to do the things that others can, so easily.
Or maybe, and much more truthfully, it's because I am happy. I'm happy, because yesterday I went swimming in the sea. Yesterday I dived from rocks into a clear blue sea. And yesterday I spent the day with my friends, and we just talked and laughed and joked and played together. Not once did alcohol touch my lips, not once did I have sex, not once did I smoke or take drugs. I just did some things I don't often do. I don't smoke because I realise that's an escape. It does not add to your life, no matter what the chemicals tell you. Drink does not make you free. Drugs enhance your mind, sure, but they're nothing compared to real life, once you find it.
And, as always, not many people will read this. It doesn't bother me that much at all... I just wanted to write how I was feeling. It does bother me that there are so many people that refuse to believe this... well, I refused to once. I'd try and find something... but I dunno. Something always stopped me. I'd have started smoking if it wasn't for my Grampa, I'd have started drinking if it wasn't for my swallowing problem, I'd have took drugs if it wasn't for all the fear put into it.
So, luckly, fear stopped me, and now fears helped me, and fear has allowed me to see a lot more clearly. In the past week, I've felt what it's like to fly. In the past week, I've never been so scared in my life. In the past week, I've never been so happy. In the past week, I've thought I was going to die, and in the past week, I've fallen deeper in love. Thousands of emotions that I've experienced, some negative, some positive, all fantastic. I've never felt so alive, and I want more.
And yet I'm one person. I'm just a single little happy person that's beginning to discover what life really is. And three weeks or so ago, it was the closest I've ever come to killing myself. It wasn't for attention, it was simply because I didn't think there was much more I could do in life.
How wrong was I.
What if? Eh? What if... What if we never stopped ourselves? Could we live with it then?
Instead of the nights that we spent awake thinking about what could have happened... we thought about what did? We thought about what we had done... what we had become, instead of what we could become, what we were becoming...
You think you'd still be here? Not me. Not me. It was hard enough when I had come close... if I had done it? Nothing would have stopped me. Nothing. Christ, not much could stop me even when I hadn't done it.
But that was then, and this is now. I think about what I've achieved... have I changed peoples lives? Would the world be that much different if I wasn't here?
I don't know. But, you know, maybe I'll stop someone from slipping again. Maybe I'll be able to fix a car for someone. Kiss them, to make them feel better. Anything. Protect someone, help someone, save someone. And that's why my life is important to me. I'm not going to let one idiot stop me from being the person I am. Let one failure inspire a triumph that you can be proud of.
Because, you know... how many people can seriously say that in the time they've had so far, they've achieved as much as they could? If you died today, would you be happy with the life you'd led? Do you think you're ready?
Because if you understand death, a wise, albeit dying, man once said, then you will understand life. That's not a clever phrase to make him stand above others... think about it. Don't cast it away because it sounds cool, don't quote it because you'll sound intelligent, tell people about it because, that's the way it is. If you realise, the next time you can't be bothered, or you're too afraid, or you can't find the courage, that you are in fact going to be dead one day. Yup. One day, you're going to look back, and wonder why the hell you didn't go on. With the last breaths you have, you'll be thinking why, just why, you didn't bother asking that girl out. Why you didn't bother trying that -extra- bit harder to get that job. Why you ignored the boy that needed help because -you- were irritated. And you'll realise how utterly, utterly selfish you are. And you'll realise how pathetically lazy, and ungrateful you were. And you'll lie back, and you'll close your eyes, and you will die redeemed.
Sure. That's it. You can work everything out when you need to. When the last few moments tick away, that's when you can discover that there's much of this world you haven't seen. And you're never going to be able to. Because you were lazy. Ungrateful. You took life for granted, until it was taken away.
Another wise man said, perhaps anyway, that it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do.
I guess, for me, at least... it was the regret that I nearly did something, that drove me down, that opened my eyes, and has now made me so very grateful. Because you know, there are much more important things in life than wants. There are needs. Needs that you don't even realise.
You need to be out in the open air. You need to be able to see across the lands, fly planes above the sky, smile once, or twice. Remember all the things you are scared of? Won't go in the water because it's cold? You need to jump in. Jump right in. You'll thank me one day.
It's strange. You need to be suicidal to know what it's like to live. You need to live in fear to know what it's like to be happy, and you need to hate, to know what it's like to love. And the longer you live in fear, the longer you refuse to let yourself go, the more rewarding it'll be. Sure, hold back, but don't hold long. Because the longer you hold, the harder you'll need to be kicked off your chair. And the drop may kill you.
Yeah. It's nice to be alive again... not that I can remember ever being alive before... I don't feel high anymore, I've settled. It's good. Hell, it's great. I can get knocked down, but I can pull myself back up again. I've accepted who I am, not who I was. I've come through a lot to be me, and it's only the end result that matters.
Do have the strange side-effects, but they're like brothers to me. Sure, I'm crazy, but I can admit it. The odd nightmare, well, I've had one in the past two years. And they're fantastic to look back on.
The dreams are better. I'm not really sure -how- I managed to get such a powerful visual imagination, but it does have it's uses.
Because, sure, I have a complex mind, but I have a simple heart really. The little things in life make me so happy. Friendship is important to me, being able to see, to taste, to hear, to touch, to smell, to breathe. Sure, can't say I'm constantly grateful of it, but there's nothing like the experiences you get from them. :0)
I've ridden horses. I know what it's like to gallop across a beach, watching the sunset over a crisp calm blue and green ocean... not a care in the world, bar from the beautiful experience of seeing life for another day.
Because that's all life is. Another day. :0) Things change, things come, things go, things stay, and through it all, we'll always be us. We'll always be able to chase our dreams if we really tried... we'll always be able to visit our past, visit our future, visit anything we wanted. And breathe it all in.
Because people in general make one very, very big mistake.
People think if you can imagine it, then you'll know what it'll be like. Hell no. Hell no... Sure. Go on. Imagine now what it'll be like to ski off a cliff... imagine what it'd be like to dive underwater, and to get caught in a current that drags you across the seabed... imagine what'll be like to skydive... And I promise you, if you've never done those things, and even if you have, you'll never, ever be able to truly imagine it. There are things in life that just -need- to be experienced. We -need- to be scared. Because I've listened to the quotes, and I've listened to the wise men, and they're all saying the same thing.
To truly live, we have to nearly kill ourselves until the day we die. If we must live in fear, then we must face the fear. Hell, I'm not saying be suicidal, I'm saying stop stopping yourself. And good luck to you.
Why am I saying this? Maybe it's because I can't do much and it gets to me. Maybe I can see, because I'm unable to do the things that others can, so easily.
Or maybe, and much more truthfully, it's because I am happy. I'm happy, because yesterday I went swimming in the sea. Yesterday I dived from rocks into a clear blue sea. And yesterday I spent the day with my friends, and we just talked and laughed and joked and played together. Not once did alcohol touch my lips, not once did I have sex, not once did I smoke or take drugs. I just did some things I don't often do. I don't smoke because I realise that's an escape. It does not add to your life, no matter what the chemicals tell you. Drink does not make you free. Drugs enhance your mind, sure, but they're nothing compared to real life, once you find it.
And, as always, not many people will read this. It doesn't bother me that much at all... I just wanted to write how I was feeling. It does bother me that there are so many people that refuse to believe this... well, I refused to once. I'd try and find something... but I dunno. Something always stopped me. I'd have started smoking if it wasn't for my Grampa, I'd have started drinking if it wasn't for my swallowing problem, I'd have took drugs if it wasn't for all the fear put into it.
So, luckly, fear stopped me, and now fears helped me, and fear has allowed me to see a lot more clearly. In the past week, I've felt what it's like to fly. In the past week, I've never been so scared in my life. In the past week, I've never been so happy. In the past week, I've thought I was going to die, and in the past week, I've fallen deeper in love. Thousands of emotions that I've experienced, some negative, some positive, all fantastic. I've never felt so alive, and I want more.
And yet I'm one person. I'm just a single little happy person that's beginning to discover what life really is. And three weeks or so ago, it was the closest I've ever come to killing myself. It wasn't for attention, it was simply because I didn't think there was much more I could do in life.
How wrong was I.