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"What people think"

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Tue 09/07/02 at 01:15
Regular
Posts: 787
As a kid i was shy. I think the difference between the shy and those who aren't is how much you care about what people think about you.

As for caring about what people thing about you, my philosophy is that people who are close to you will make their opinion of you on important things. It's only people you don't know who'll judge you on an instance of looking like a bit of a tart. These people often don't matter, they, and thus their opinion of you, are only important if it determins whether they will get to know you better, to be able to judge you on important stuff.

So usually, if you make a fool of yourself occasionally in front of your mates, it's okay, and if you make a fool of yourself in front of strangers, they don't matter anyway.
I just fail to implement it into my actual life. I still care too much about what strangers think of me.



Recently, i've been doing a plyometric jumping training program - it's supposed to increase your vertical jump by having you do a bunch of exercises which basically envolve jumping repeatedly. It takes maybe 25 minutes total jumping around like a muppet.

Because of the height of the ceiling in my rubbish room, i do this training at the uni sports hall (staying at my uni accomodation for the summer). There are often people playing badminton or something at the other end, and people can see down from the balcony. All but one of the exercises require repeated jumping. Once, when the sports hall was fully in use, i did the training in one of the gym's rooms, and used the full length mirror to check the height of my jump as i trained. This also confirmed my fear that i did indeed look like a total tw*t standing there jumping up and down.

However, i've overcome my embarrasment with the knowledge that if i'm able to get to the end of the training program, and i get the standard results, i'll be able to jump throughb the roof (okay, not literally, but i'll be able to add the dunk to my basketball game), and of course, be capable of throwing down ill slams in the faces of any of the badminton playing tarts who looked at me like i'd escaped from the nut house. This makes me feel a lot better, and with it in mind, i'm able to put aside my daily humiliation as i start my set of leap-ups.



It's finally with this this situation that i find myself implementing my philosophy. I can tell my friends why i'm looking like a fool, and for an inch a week increase, it's well worth it. Anyone else, f*** them, i'm not going to let that hold me back from such potentially productive training.


And it feels great. I finally have freedom from my own lame inhibitions. Within reason (ie, not harming anyone else), i'm free to do what i want, screw anyone with a problem with it. It's spilling over into my attitude towards everything. I was a prisoner of my own timidity, but i didn't know what real freedom felt like until now. The freedom to be myself, without self-induced oppression.


Why the topic for it? To maybe help show someone else the light. I know there are other people who've been in the same trap as i was, i know people who still are.

If it sounds like it might be you, yeah, i know it's hard to make the break through. Help to do it? Well, if you can find a situation where the fear of doing something gets defeated by the benefits it'll bring, the situation where the fear gets blown right out of the water, maybe that'll be enough for you.

Good luck with that.
Tue 09/07/02 at 01:15
Regular
Posts: 8,220
As a kid i was shy. I think the difference between the shy and those who aren't is how much you care about what people think about you.

As for caring about what people thing about you, my philosophy is that people who are close to you will make their opinion of you on important things. It's only people you don't know who'll judge you on an instance of looking like a bit of a tart. These people often don't matter, they, and thus their opinion of you, are only important if it determins whether they will get to know you better, to be able to judge you on important stuff.

So usually, if you make a fool of yourself occasionally in front of your mates, it's okay, and if you make a fool of yourself in front of strangers, they don't matter anyway.
I just fail to implement it into my actual life. I still care too much about what strangers think of me.



Recently, i've been doing a plyometric jumping training program - it's supposed to increase your vertical jump by having you do a bunch of exercises which basically envolve jumping repeatedly. It takes maybe 25 minutes total jumping around like a muppet.

Because of the height of the ceiling in my rubbish room, i do this training at the uni sports hall (staying at my uni accomodation for the summer). There are often people playing badminton or something at the other end, and people can see down from the balcony. All but one of the exercises require repeated jumping. Once, when the sports hall was fully in use, i did the training in one of the gym's rooms, and used the full length mirror to check the height of my jump as i trained. This also confirmed my fear that i did indeed look like a total tw*t standing there jumping up and down.

However, i've overcome my embarrasment with the knowledge that if i'm able to get to the end of the training program, and i get the standard results, i'll be able to jump throughb the roof (okay, not literally, but i'll be able to add the dunk to my basketball game), and of course, be capable of throwing down ill slams in the faces of any of the badminton playing tarts who looked at me like i'd escaped from the nut house. This makes me feel a lot better, and with it in mind, i'm able to put aside my daily humiliation as i start my set of leap-ups.



It's finally with this this situation that i find myself implementing my philosophy. I can tell my friends why i'm looking like a fool, and for an inch a week increase, it's well worth it. Anyone else, f*** them, i'm not going to let that hold me back from such potentially productive training.


And it feels great. I finally have freedom from my own lame inhibitions. Within reason (ie, not harming anyone else), i'm free to do what i want, screw anyone with a problem with it. It's spilling over into my attitude towards everything. I was a prisoner of my own timidity, but i didn't know what real freedom felt like until now. The freedom to be myself, without self-induced oppression.


Why the topic for it? To maybe help show someone else the light. I know there are other people who've been in the same trap as i was, i know people who still are.

If it sounds like it might be you, yeah, i know it's hard to make the break through. Help to do it? Well, if you can find a situation where the fear of doing something gets defeated by the benefits it'll bring, the situation where the fear gets blown right out of the water, maybe that'll be enough for you.

Good luck with that.
Tue 09/07/02 at 01:17
Regular
Posts: 20,776
perhaps gunning for a regular slot on the telly doctor duck?
Tue 09/07/02 at 01:21
Regular
"+34 Intellect"
Posts: 21,334
You are totally right. So many people place such a great emphasis on what strangers think of them, i don't, because in the back of my mind i'm always thinking "Im never going to see these people again". This philosophy has really let me loosen up.
Tue 09/07/02 at 15:58
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
The capacity to acknowledge that strangers don't matter combined with the confidence to act on it for social benefit is what makes people "popular".

However, you'll notice that it is often the trend that the most intelligent are far from the most popular.

What does that tell you about "popular" people? Perhaps their ignorance of the feelings of those outside their social circle is the weakness which often causes their lives to fail later in life.

To quote: "do unto others as you would have others do unto you"

They may not matter, you may not see them again. But then, they could be the person who interviews you for your next job, or the person who is gifted with the task of approving/declining your next loan. First impressions count.
Tue 09/07/02 at 16:21
Regular
Posts: 8,220
True. Maybe the principle that strangers' opinions matter only when you hope to build on them in the future is a little wider than i first thought.

Still, hopefully a healthy respect for others, whether you know them or not (caring what they think about you and caring about them period don't have to be the same thing), should keep you from offending too many people too badly. I hope.
And everything else, well, even if they don't like what you are, at least they can (maybe) respect you for being true to it. Maybe.

With that in mind, i think i'll progress (carefully) as i've been doing. I think the cost of repression , provided you don't actually harm anyone else, outweighs the benefits of.. well, brown-nosing everyone on the offchance that you'll be counting on them in the future.

I hope.
Tue 09/07/02 at 16:43
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Oh, you certainly don't have to brown-nose every stranger you come across, just don't treat everyone like crap for your own personal and social amusement.

IB
Tue 09/07/02 at 17:06
Regular
Posts: 20,776
kill em all, let god sort em out :-)

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