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Pint-sized Muse frontman Matt Bellamy was today called in for questioning by Warrington police following the deaths by crucifixion of several music journalists.
All of the bodies were found nailed to crosses measuring only 3ft high, leading police into searching for possible suspects of a rather short nature. Given also that Bellamy can be linked to all of the dead, with the journalists having given the band either poor live reviews or poor album reviews in the past, it was decided that it would be irresponsible not to question him, even though he seems to have a water-tight alibi - he was performing on tour when each of the crucifixions took place.
Carl Howell, who used to play Jacko in Brush Strokes saw someone leaving on of the crime-scenes; "Well if what I saw was what murdered that man then I can be pretty sure that it weren't no singer and guitarist. No what I saw looked like a baby, only made out of metal."
Upon being asked why Bellamy was seen as a suspect, despite apparent evidence to the contrary the Inspector leading the investigation, former Darts World Champion Eric Bristow revealed the following; "We've been watching Bellamy closely for some time now, ever since our insiders at Sony reported that he was purchasing an awful lot of those electronic dogs. We have reason to believe that Bellamy has been adapting them to create electronic babies, plugging them into charging devices, and sending them out of kill those that have displeased him.
It say's it right it his song" Continued Bristow, quoting Muse;
"My plug in baby
Crucifies my enemies"
"See?" he finished.
Namesake David Bellamy tried to comment on the matter, but his words were lost in his beard, and we were forced to take cover from the tidal wave of spittle that flew from his fleshy lips.
All of the bodies were found nailed to crosses measuring only 3ft high, leading police into searching for possible suspects of a rather short nature. Given also that Bellamy can be linked to all of the dead, with the journalists having given the band either poor live reviews or poor album reviews in the past, it was decided that it would be irresponsible not to question him, even though he seems to have a water-tight alibi - he was performing on tour when each of the crucifixions took place.
Carl Howell, who used to play Jacko in Brush Strokes saw someone leaving on of the crime-scenes; "Well if what I saw was what murdered that man then I can be pretty sure that it weren't no singer and guitarist. No what I saw looked like a baby, only made out of metal."
Upon being asked why Bellamy was seen as a suspect, despite apparent evidence to the contrary the Inspector leading the investigation, former Darts World Champion Eric Bristow revealed the following; "We've been watching Bellamy closely for some time now, ever since our insiders at Sony reported that he was purchasing an awful lot of those electronic dogs. We have reason to believe that Bellamy has been adapting them to create electronic babies, plugging them into charging devices, and sending them out of kill those that have displeased him.
It say's it right it his song" Continued Bristow, quoting Muse;
"My plug in baby
Crucifies my enemies"
"See?" he finished.
Namesake David Bellamy tried to comment on the matter, but his words were lost in his beard, and we were forced to take cover from the tidal wave of spittle that flew from his fleshy lips.
:0D
[I've noticed I reply to just about all of your spoof news's, with grins. This is because I'm grinning. I felt I needed to point that out.]
[I've noticed I reply to just about all of your spoof news's, with grins. This is because I'm grinning. I felt I needed to point that out.]
Bah! One of those names I'd heard, but never seen written down.
Now I look a fool.
Ne'er mind.
Now I look a fool.
Ne'er mind.
Carl Howell? It's Karl Howman, you fool! Get the facts right!
*snorts*
Funny though.
*snorts*
Funny though.
Pint-sized Muse frontman Matt Bellamy was today called in for questioning by Warrington police following the deaths by crucifixion of several music journalists.
All of the bodies were found nailed to crosses measuring only 3ft high, leading police into searching for possible suspects of a rather short nature. Given also that Bellamy can be linked to all of the dead, with the journalists having given the band either poor live reviews or poor album reviews in the past, it was decided that it would be irresponsible not to question him, even though he seems to have a water-tight alibi - he was performing on tour when each of the crucifixions took place.
Carl Howell, who used to play Jacko in Brush Strokes saw someone leaving on of the crime-scenes; "Well if what I saw was what murdered that man then I can be pretty sure that it weren't no singer and guitarist. No what I saw looked like a baby, only made out of metal."
Upon being asked why Bellamy was seen as a suspect, despite apparent evidence to the contrary the Inspector leading the investigation, former Darts World Champion Eric Bristow revealed the following; "We've been watching Bellamy closely for some time now, ever since our insiders at Sony reported that he was purchasing an awful lot of those electronic dogs. We have reason to believe that Bellamy has been adapting them to create electronic babies, plugging them into charging devices, and sending them out of kill those that have displeased him.
It say's it right it his song" Continued Bristow, quoting Muse;
"My plug in baby
Crucifies my enemies"
"See?" he finished.
Namesake David Bellamy tried to comment on the matter, but his words were lost in his beard, and we were forced to take cover from the tidal wave of spittle that flew from his fleshy lips.
All of the bodies were found nailed to crosses measuring only 3ft high, leading police into searching for possible suspects of a rather short nature. Given also that Bellamy can be linked to all of the dead, with the journalists having given the band either poor live reviews or poor album reviews in the past, it was decided that it would be irresponsible not to question him, even though he seems to have a water-tight alibi - he was performing on tour when each of the crucifixions took place.
Carl Howell, who used to play Jacko in Brush Strokes saw someone leaving on of the crime-scenes; "Well if what I saw was what murdered that man then I can be pretty sure that it weren't no singer and guitarist. No what I saw looked like a baby, only made out of metal."
Upon being asked why Bellamy was seen as a suspect, despite apparent evidence to the contrary the Inspector leading the investigation, former Darts World Champion Eric Bristow revealed the following; "We've been watching Bellamy closely for some time now, ever since our insiders at Sony reported that he was purchasing an awful lot of those electronic dogs. We have reason to believe that Bellamy has been adapting them to create electronic babies, plugging them into charging devices, and sending them out of kill those that have displeased him.
It say's it right it his song" Continued Bristow, quoting Muse;
"My plug in baby
Crucifies my enemies"
"See?" he finished.
Namesake David Bellamy tried to comment on the matter, but his words were lost in his beard, and we were forced to take cover from the tidal wave of spittle that flew from his fleshy lips.