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"Army of Two"

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This thread has been linked to the game 'Army of Two'.
Mon 14/04/08 at 00:55
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Army of Two
If I had to be an animal that was not a human being like I am now I would be a house because then I wouldn’t have to worry about what people think of me and also about dying, which is my biggest of fears. I remember I watched a video of Army of Two back a couple of months ago and I thought hey this looks cool but then I played it and probably it’s one of the least original of games that I’ve played on my Xbox or Playstation this year. I’m not a hard man but the two men in this game are very hard, they wear masks and they shoot people, and if I could be as hard as them then perhaps I wouldn’t be afraid of what people think of me or of dying. Just to be clear about this when I talk about dying I’m talking about like a bullet making you dead not what you do to t shirts to make them a different colour or what my mum did to my dad when she found out he had a girlfriend and it was your mum.
If being dead is like playing Army of Two then perhaps it’s not so bad because actually it was an ok game to play. It has good guns and lots of different levels filled with baddies but sometimes if you shoot one of them while he’s running he just sort of stumbles about and then keeps running. I dunno if that’s what it’s like in real life because I think if someone shot you with a bullet in real life you wouldn’t just stumble about for a second and then be ok you’d probably die or have to go to hospital at least. If this game had an ambulance which came and picked up the hurt baddies whenever you shot them it would probably be more realistic than it is now and I think that it was meant to be realistic because I read that on the back of the box.
Sometimes I think that in a review sometimes people just give a list of good and bad things but I think it’s better if I describe a bit of the game for you instead because that’s probably a better way to help you decide if you like it or not than me just saying this games crap and about two gay men who like to shoot people and stick each other with needles and take part in over-dramatic camp and gruff cutscenes with colours that are all too bright.
Ok well here’s a part of the game I remember but I don’t remember much of it because I’ve got a bit of a brain disease. You are dropped into this part of a desert with these huts with your best friend Mike who you’ve known since you were a kid. All around there’s gunfire and your heart is beating like a husband on his wife in the back of the car on the holiday to Malaga. Some men emerge from some huts “what are you doing here” they say “we are the FBI” but they’re not the FBI and neither are you so you both start shooting and you shoot them a couple of times and they stumble about and then spill their brains and guts all over the floor like it was Christmas at dad’s house again but this time there aren’t any women and you don’t have to take mum to hospital to have her baby a month early. So you shoot all these men and then you get a call on your cell phone and you and your friend have to escape the area so you stand with your backs together and shoot and no one else can shoot you because it’s not their turn so they just hide behind all the boxes that are everywhere until you run out of ammo and then they shoot at you. So you have to run away and you have to keep running until there aren’t any men because you don’t know what’s going on so you ring your friend in the FBI and he tells you what you’ve got to do to win the war but then your friend gets shot in the head rest in peice the end.
All in all this game is full of surprises but I had to take it back because the disc was scratched and I couldn’t get past level 4/10
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Mon 14/04/08 at 00:55
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Army of Two
If I had to be an animal that was not a human being like I am now I would be a house because then I wouldn’t have to worry about what people think of me and also about dying, which is my biggest of fears. I remember I watched a video of Army of Two back a couple of months ago and I thought hey this looks cool but then I played it and probably it’s one of the least original of games that I’ve played on my Xbox or Playstation this year. I’m not a hard man but the two men in this game are very hard, they wear masks and they shoot people, and if I could be as hard as them then perhaps I wouldn’t be afraid of what people think of me or of dying. Just to be clear about this when I talk about dying I’m talking about like a bullet making you dead not what you do to t shirts to make them a different colour or what my mum did to my dad when she found out he had a girlfriend and it was your mum.
If being dead is like playing Army of Two then perhaps it’s not so bad because actually it was an ok game to play. It has good guns and lots of different levels filled with baddies but sometimes if you shoot one of them while he’s running he just sort of stumbles about and then keeps running. I dunno if that’s what it’s like in real life because I think if someone shot you with a bullet in real life you wouldn’t just stumble about for a second and then be ok you’d probably die or have to go to hospital at least. If this game had an ambulance which came and picked up the hurt baddies whenever you shot them it would probably be more realistic than it is now and I think that it was meant to be realistic because I read that on the back of the box.
Sometimes I think that in a review sometimes people just give a list of good and bad things but I think it’s better if I describe a bit of the game for you instead because that’s probably a better way to help you decide if you like it or not than me just saying this games crap and about two gay men who like to shoot people and stick each other with needles and take part in over-dramatic camp and gruff cutscenes with colours that are all too bright.
Ok well here’s a part of the game I remember but I don’t remember much of it because I’ve got a bit of a brain disease. You are dropped into this part of a desert with these huts with your best friend Mike who you’ve known since you were a kid. All around there’s gunfire and your heart is beating like a husband on his wife in the back of the car on the holiday to Malaga. Some men emerge from some huts “what are you doing here” they say “we are the FBI” but they’re not the FBI and neither are you so you both start shooting and you shoot them a couple of times and they stumble about and then spill their brains and guts all over the floor like it was Christmas at dad’s house again but this time there aren’t any women and you don’t have to take mum to hospital to have her baby a month early. So you shoot all these men and then you get a call on your cell phone and you and your friend have to escape the area so you stand with your backs together and shoot and no one else can shoot you because it’s not their turn so they just hide behind all the boxes that are everywhere until you run out of ammo and then they shoot at you. So you have to run away and you have to keep running until there aren’t any men because you don’t know what’s going on so you ring your friend in the FBI and he tells you what you’ve got to do to win the war but then your friend gets shot in the head rest in peice the end.
All in all this game is full of surprises but I had to take it back because the disc was scratched and I couldn’t get past level 4/10

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