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Hi, I'm Wes Craven, welcome to Newsround.
We start todays program with a special report on the disappearance of our reporter, Lizo, who was in Alabama for a Harry Potter convention."
"So Sara, what's the latest?"
"Well Wes, Lizo was travelling through these hills that you can see behind be, despite being warned not to. It is alleged that these hills have eyes, Wes, and are populated by tribes of inbred hillbillies. It's quite possible that Lizo was captured by these hillbillies, so let's just hope they were nasty ones!"
"Thanks Sara, there will be more on Lizo's disappearance at the end of the show, but now were going to move on to a report on children at a Leamington Spa school taking part in sleep experiments. With more, here's Nathan."
"Thanks Wes, you join me here just as things are beginning to get interesting. We just had one girl crawling across the cieling, when suddenly patches of blood started to appear on her clothing. This soon developed into a constant drip, then into a gush, until she fell lifelessly onto the floor, it was just the kind of thing the researchers here have been hoping to see. Some of the other children are unable to sleep, and have even taken caffine tablets to resist sleep. Many of them report dreaming of a man with knives for fingers attacking them in their dreams, with and wounds showing up when they wake. This fits a pattern, as some of the sleeping kids have been seen to stir in their sleep, before small cuts and bruises appear, but today's horrific murder was more than any of us could have hoped."
"Excellent! Thanks Nathan, we'll keep you posted on any further happenings at leamington Spa Primary School. Now we have time for one last report before we head back to Sara in Alabama, here's Penelope with the latest on the serial killer in Worthing. So, Penelope, any further developments?"
"Yes Wes, as you'll remember from yesterdays show a masked man visciously slaughtered 5 teenagers as they drunk alcopops sitting on the seafront. Well he's struck again. At the swimming baths he flushed a young ladies face down the loo and poured acid all over her before attacking a local lad, Thomas Bevin, who managed to escape from the killer's clutches. Now it turns out that Thomas was involved in another horrific event just last summer, when his mother and two of his closest friends were killed in a car crash in which he was the driver, and only survivor. Also Wes, his father has gone missing. The police are still investigating to see if there are any links between these events."
"Top stuff, thanks Penelope. Now we just have timeto go back to Sara to see if there's any news on the Lizo situation. So, Sara, anything happened in the last few minutes?"
"Wes, we've found him!"
"Excellent Sara, how is he?"
"Completely mutilated Wes. We discovered the remains of his body on a raft drifting downstream. His skull has completely caved in, and it appears that much of the flesh on his arms has been bitten off. Our experts here are pretty sure that they look like human bites!"
"Excellent news, but unfortunately that's all we have time for now kids. Next up is Grange Hill, put I'll be back with more Wes Craven's Newsround tomorrow."
We start todays program with a special report on the disappearance of our reporter, Lizo, who was in Alabama for a Harry Potter convention."
"So Sara, what's the latest?"
"Well Wes, Lizo was travelling through these hills that you can see behind be, despite being warned not to. It is alleged that these hills have eyes, Wes, and are populated by tribes of inbred hillbillies. It's quite possible that Lizo was captured by these hillbillies, so let's just hope they were nasty ones!"
"Thanks Sara, there will be more on Lizo's disappearance at the end of the show, but now were going to move on to a report on children at a Leamington Spa school taking part in sleep experiments. With more, here's Nathan."
"Thanks Wes, you join me here just as things are beginning to get interesting. We just had one girl crawling across the cieling, when suddenly patches of blood started to appear on her clothing. This soon developed into a constant drip, then into a gush, until she fell lifelessly onto the floor, it was just the kind of thing the researchers here have been hoping to see. Some of the other children are unable to sleep, and have even taken caffine tablets to resist sleep. Many of them report dreaming of a man with knives for fingers attacking them in their dreams, with and wounds showing up when they wake. This fits a pattern, as some of the sleeping kids have been seen to stir in their sleep, before small cuts and bruises appear, but today's horrific murder was more than any of us could have hoped."
"Excellent! Thanks Nathan, we'll keep you posted on any further happenings at leamington Spa Primary School. Now we have time for one last report before we head back to Sara in Alabama, here's Penelope with the latest on the serial killer in Worthing. So, Penelope, any further developments?"
"Yes Wes, as you'll remember from yesterdays show a masked man visciously slaughtered 5 teenagers as they drunk alcopops sitting on the seafront. Well he's struck again. At the swimming baths he flushed a young ladies face down the loo and poured acid all over her before attacking a local lad, Thomas Bevin, who managed to escape from the killer's clutches. Now it turns out that Thomas was involved in another horrific event just last summer, when his mother and two of his closest friends were killed in a car crash in which he was the driver, and only survivor. Also Wes, his father has gone missing. The police are still investigating to see if there are any links between these events."
"Top stuff, thanks Penelope. Now we just have timeto go back to Sara to see if there's any news on the Lizo situation. So, Sara, anything happened in the last few minutes?"
"Wes, we've found him!"
"Excellent Sara, how is he?"
"Completely mutilated Wes. We discovered the remains of his body on a raft drifting downstream. His skull has completely caved in, and it appears that much of the flesh on his arms has been bitten off. Our experts here are pretty sure that they look like human bites!"
"Excellent news, but unfortunately that's all we have time for now kids. Next up is Grange Hill, put I'll be back with more Wes Craven's Newsround tomorrow."
Fanfeckingtastic I'm still laughing. :0D
HAHAHAHA
Lizzo's a right idiot.
Worse. TV. Guy. Ever.
Lizzo's a right idiot.
Worse. TV. Guy. Ever.
"Should post more"
Could you post any less brilliant posts?
Accolades truly deserved - judging by the replies it looks like the lead will be extended. (if you know what I mean)
:D
Could you post any less brilliant posts?
Accolades truly deserved - judging by the replies it looks like the lead will be extended. (if you know what I mean)
:D
LOL great stuff, I was looking for a mention of that fit bird from Newsround in a Last House on the Left take-off, but maybe that's just a little sick.
Looks like Snuggly has found today's GAD win
Hmm I wonder if this will win a GAD
Absolutely brilliant.
Hi, I'm Wes Craven, welcome to Newsround.
We start todays program with a special report on the disappearance of our reporter, Lizo, who was in Alabama for a Harry Potter convention."
"So Sara, what's the latest?"
"Well Wes, Lizo was travelling through these hills that you can see behind be, despite being warned not to. It is alleged that these hills have eyes, Wes, and are populated by tribes of inbred hillbillies. It's quite possible that Lizo was captured by these hillbillies, so let's just hope they were nasty ones!"
"Thanks Sara, there will be more on Lizo's disappearance at the end of the show, but now were going to move on to a report on children at a Leamington Spa school taking part in sleep experiments. With more, here's Nathan."
"Thanks Wes, you join me here just as things are beginning to get interesting. We just had one girl crawling across the cieling, when suddenly patches of blood started to appear on her clothing. This soon developed into a constant drip, then into a gush, until she fell lifelessly onto the floor, it was just the kind of thing the researchers here have been hoping to see. Some of the other children are unable to sleep, and have even taken caffine tablets to resist sleep. Many of them report dreaming of a man with knives for fingers attacking them in their dreams, with and wounds showing up when they wake. This fits a pattern, as some of the sleeping kids have been seen to stir in their sleep, before small cuts and bruises appear, but today's horrific murder was more than any of us could have hoped."
"Excellent! Thanks Nathan, we'll keep you posted on any further happenings at leamington Spa Primary School. Now we have time for one last report before we head back to Sara in Alabama, here's Penelope with the latest on the serial killer in Worthing. So, Penelope, any further developments?"
"Yes Wes, as you'll remember from yesterdays show a masked man visciously slaughtered 5 teenagers as they drunk alcopops sitting on the seafront. Well he's struck again. At the swimming baths he flushed a young ladies face down the loo and poured acid all over her before attacking a local lad, Thomas Bevin, who managed to escape from the killer's clutches. Now it turns out that Thomas was involved in another horrific event just last summer, when his mother and two of his closest friends were killed in a car crash in which he was the driver, and only survivor. Also Wes, his father has gone missing. The police are still investigating to see if there are any links between these events."
"Top stuff, thanks Penelope. Now we just have timeto go back to Sara to see if there's any news on the Lizo situation. So, Sara, anything happened in the last few minutes?"
"Wes, we've found him!"
"Excellent Sara, how is he?"
"Completely mutilated Wes. We discovered the remains of his body on a raft drifting downstream. His skull has completely caved in, and it appears that much of the flesh on his arms has been bitten off. Our experts here are pretty sure that they look like human bites!"
"Excellent news, but unfortunately that's all we have time for now kids. Next up is Grange Hill, put I'll be back with more Wes Craven's Newsround tomorrow."
We start todays program with a special report on the disappearance of our reporter, Lizo, who was in Alabama for a Harry Potter convention."
"So Sara, what's the latest?"
"Well Wes, Lizo was travelling through these hills that you can see behind be, despite being warned not to. It is alleged that these hills have eyes, Wes, and are populated by tribes of inbred hillbillies. It's quite possible that Lizo was captured by these hillbillies, so let's just hope they were nasty ones!"
"Thanks Sara, there will be more on Lizo's disappearance at the end of the show, but now were going to move on to a report on children at a Leamington Spa school taking part in sleep experiments. With more, here's Nathan."
"Thanks Wes, you join me here just as things are beginning to get interesting. We just had one girl crawling across the cieling, when suddenly patches of blood started to appear on her clothing. This soon developed into a constant drip, then into a gush, until she fell lifelessly onto the floor, it was just the kind of thing the researchers here have been hoping to see. Some of the other children are unable to sleep, and have even taken caffine tablets to resist sleep. Many of them report dreaming of a man with knives for fingers attacking them in their dreams, with and wounds showing up when they wake. This fits a pattern, as some of the sleeping kids have been seen to stir in their sleep, before small cuts and bruises appear, but today's horrific murder was more than any of us could have hoped."
"Excellent! Thanks Nathan, we'll keep you posted on any further happenings at leamington Spa Primary School. Now we have time for one last report before we head back to Sara in Alabama, here's Penelope with the latest on the serial killer in Worthing. So, Penelope, any further developments?"
"Yes Wes, as you'll remember from yesterdays show a masked man visciously slaughtered 5 teenagers as they drunk alcopops sitting on the seafront. Well he's struck again. At the swimming baths he flushed a young ladies face down the loo and poured acid all over her before attacking a local lad, Thomas Bevin, who managed to escape from the killer's clutches. Now it turns out that Thomas was involved in another horrific event just last summer, when his mother and two of his closest friends were killed in a car crash in which he was the driver, and only survivor. Also Wes, his father has gone missing. The police are still investigating to see if there are any links between these events."
"Top stuff, thanks Penelope. Now we just have timeto go back to Sara to see if there's any news on the Lizo situation. So, Sara, anything happened in the last few minutes?"
"Wes, we've found him!"
"Excellent Sara, how is he?"
"Completely mutilated Wes. We discovered the remains of his body on a raft drifting downstream. His skull has completely caved in, and it appears that much of the flesh on his arms has been bitten off. Our experts here are pretty sure that they look like human bites!"
"Excellent news, but unfortunately that's all we have time for now kids. Next up is Grange Hill, put I'll be back with more Wes Craven's Newsround tomorrow."