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The scene is set in Padua, a town very much like Venis except it hasn’t got any water which explains why all its gondoliers have sprained wrists.
In the bar the men where drinking lustily.
"Hey barman, give us another pint of lustily"
"I’m sorry sir the lustily has all gone"
"Sigh where are those lovely maidens, and I know I made quiet a few, where are those soft blue eyes.
Mr Snuggly walks in "Oh so this is where the boys are"
Mr Snuggly a gay blade who’d raise an eyebrow or two whom some thought he was a fop
"You’re a fop"
In fact they did but he said quiet the reverse
"I’m a pouf"
Mr Snuggly looked resplendent in is doublet.
Doublet a little dub
And sing let
Sing let a little sing
"Oh why not".
"I got a feeling I’m falling, falling in love with me", he kisses his own hand.
"Come, come my lusty lads why so sad"? Come join me in a glass"
"A wag shouts oh be a bit of a squeeze wont it"
Mr Snuggly replys, "That’s what makes it so funny"
"Sigh where are those lovely maidens"?
Mr Snuggly says "I’ve heard that tomorrow the Countess Schroeder is giving away her two daughters at court and they are both passing lovely’s so grab them quick while you can.
"Very well then tomorrow at court
NEXTDAY
Next day at court the Countess Schroeder drops a curtsy (Bang crash!) and welcomes the crowd
"Welcome crowd, as you know both my daughters Catharine (the one they call the shrew) and Bianca are both at desirable age and are to be sold sorry told who there suitors are.
"What does no one want my two daughters? Very well then we shall raffle them off as booby prises"
"Ok who has ticket number 22?"
Mr Snuggly jumps with glee "that’s me but there is only either the Box with Catharine or Bianca in it or the rubber rabbit. Oh dear what shall I do?"
In one voice the crowd cry "Take the bunny, open the box"
"I think I’ll open the box it might be Bianca, they say she’s got broad shoulders and rippling muscles"
So as Mr Snuggly opens the box the Countess says "Congratulations you win a major prize"
"Oh major I do love a military man"
Suddenly there was a squeak from the box "squeak, squeak”.
Mr Snuggly looks in" but it’s a real shrew (The one they call Catharine)
"Ok", continues the Countess,"who has ticket number 66?"
"That’s me", says Tony
Tony was a strange man who was ugly and bent.
"No i am not", says Tony "It’s the way I walk"
So Tony opens the box and out pops a face like Venus, round, lifeless, and pitted with craters.
"This is stupid", Tony says "I’m past that sort of thing".
"That’s ok you can go round again", Bianca says, "Soft and cuddly to".
She turns her attention to Mr Snuggly,"And who are you?"
Mr Snuggly says, "I`m the poor retch who has to spend all his manly charms on a shrew".
"Oh I feel for you, come here and let me feel for you", says Bianca
With that Catharine was seized with a fit of jealousy and started firing poison darts, Oh must be a pygmy shrew then.
The Countess looks agast, "I`m sorry I forgot to tell you about Catharine’s terrorable temper the only thing you can do is beat her",
Mr Snuggly,"Oh O.K. then", slurp munch, munch, munch gulp, "hmm rather delicious really"
The crowd suddenly let out a Gasp "Shock Gasp!"
"Oh you said beat not eat didn’t you oh dear silly me i am sorry Countess but i am afraid I’ve eaten your daughter sorry.
THE END
slik ~_~
> When you said I was a gay blade, I pictured myself as a camp, white
> Wesley Snipes, touching vampire's bottoms.
Ha ha ha...never a truer word uttered.
" i am sorry Countess but i am afraid I’ve eaten your daughter sorry"
--
Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur
The scene is set in Padua, a town very much like Venis except it hasn’t got any water which explains why all its gondoliers have sprained wrists.
In the bar the men where drinking lustily.
"Hey barman, give us another pint of lustily"
"I’m sorry sir the lustily has all gone"
"Sigh where are those lovely maidens, and I know I made quiet a few, where are those soft blue eyes.
Mr Snuggly walks in "Oh so this is where the boys are"
Mr Snuggly a gay blade who’d raise an eyebrow or two whom some thought he was a fop
"You’re a fop"
In fact they did but he said quiet the reverse
"I’m a pouf"
Mr Snuggly looked resplendent in is doublet.
Doublet a little dub
And sing let
Sing let a little sing
"Oh why not".
"I got a feeling I’m falling, falling in love with me", he kisses his own hand.
"Come, come my lusty lads why so sad"? Come join me in a glass"
"A wag shouts oh be a bit of a squeeze wont it"
Mr Snuggly replys, "That’s what makes it so funny"
"Sigh where are those lovely maidens"?
Mr Snuggly says "I’ve heard that tomorrow the Countess Schroeder is giving away her two daughters at court and they are both passing lovely’s so grab them quick while you can.
"Very well then tomorrow at court
NEXTDAY
Next day at court the Countess Schroeder drops a curtsy (Bang crash!) and welcomes the crowd
"Welcome crowd, as you know both my daughters Catharine (the one they call the shrew) and Bianca are both at desirable age and are to be sold sorry told who there suitors are.
"What does no one want my two daughters? Very well then we shall raffle them off as booby prises"
"Ok who has ticket number 22?"
Mr Snuggly jumps with glee "that’s me but there is only either the Box with Catharine or Bianca in it or the rubber rabbit. Oh dear what shall I do?"
In one voice the crowd cry "Take the bunny, open the box"
"I think I’ll open the box it might be Bianca, they say she’s got broad shoulders and rippling muscles"
So as Mr Snuggly opens the box the Countess says "Congratulations you win a major prize"
"Oh major I do love a military man"
Suddenly there was a squeak from the box "squeak, squeak”.
Mr Snuggly looks in" but it’s a real shrew (The one they call Catharine)
"Ok", continues the Countess,"who has ticket number 66?"
"That’s me", says Tony
Tony was a strange man who was ugly and bent.
"No i am not", says Tony "It’s the way I walk"
So Tony opens the box and out pops a face like Venus, round, lifeless, and pitted with craters.
"This is stupid", Tony says "I’m past that sort of thing".
"That’s ok you can go round again", Bianca says, "Soft and cuddly to".
She turns her attention to Mr Snuggly,"And who are you?"
Mr Snuggly says, "I`m the poor retch who has to spend all his manly charms on a shrew".
"Oh I feel for you, come here and let me feel for you", says Bianca
With that Catharine was seized with a fit of jealousy and started firing poison darts, Oh must be a pygmy shrew then.
The Countess looks agast, "I`m sorry I forgot to tell you about Catharine’s terrorable temper the only thing you can do is beat her",
Mr Snuggly,"Oh O.K. then", slurp munch, munch, munch gulp, "hmm rather delicious really"
The crowd suddenly let out a Gasp "Shock Gasp!"
"Oh you said beat not eat didn’t you oh dear silly me i am sorry Countess but i am afraid I’ve eaten your daughter sorry.
THE END